In Charge
by Threshie
Summary: When Near suddenly collapses while he and Matt are home alone, the redhead finds himself in charge for the first time ever. AU friendship fic starring Matt and Near, with Mello and L later. Chapter 27 has arrived!
1. Unlikely

**In Charge**

**Chapter 1 – Unlikely**

By Threshie

AN: First off, the important stuff: Death Note, and its cast of interesting characters, belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, not me. This is a work of fanfiction—I'm doing it for fun, and I make no profit.

This fic is Alternate Universe; for a longer description, see the author's note at the end of this chapter. I tried not to make the AU too obvious, as this is a fic that focuses on character interaction—namely, interaction between Matt and Near.

Also, please note that this fic is NON-YAOI. If you want to interpret it as shounen-ai, go ahead, but I wrote it with friendship in mind. I'm not offended by yaoi or anything, I'm just not really into that.

Without further ado!

* * *

Matt was bored.

It wasn't an unusual state of mind for him—he was often bored. Usually he would alleviate this boredom with video games or smoking—often both—but today, he'd beaten the game he had on hand too many times for it to be fun anymore. Smoking alone wasn't exactly stimulating to the mind...

And so, Matt was bored.

_I wish Mello didn't leave with L, _he thought, stretching a bit—he'd been sitting in the same pose for so long that his limbs were getting stiff. _I mean, c'mon, the only company I have here is Near—Near barely even talks. _He sighed...maybe the Gameboy again. He had every aspect of the game memorized—and it hadn't been that hard to beat in the first place—but it was better than sitting around doing nothing.

_And it has to be better than talking to Near—which pretty much _is_ doing nothing._ He watched the all-too-familiar start screen pop up on the Gameboy's screen and sighed heavily. _Man, I seriously need some new games...before I lose my mind._

A soft "thunk!" from the other room made him pause before he'd gotten around to loading the oh-so-boring first level and start playing through it again for the umpteenth time. The redhead blinked, glancing over at the door. _That's where Near is—decoding some sort of threat letter that was written in riddles, right? Something like that..._

He couldn't imagine what Near would have dropped that would be big enough to make a crash like that. _Maybe one of those toy robots of his...those are pretty big, and he knocks them over sometimes... _He waited, listening for some other sound that might give him a hint of what was going on in the other room.

Nothing.

_Jeez, Matt, you really are bored, _he told himself drolly. He glanced down at the game's start screen, then back at the door. Even watching Near play with his toys had to be more interesting than this...

Sighing, he tossed the Gameboy onto the couch and made a beeline for the other room, hoping Mello got back soon._ Why couldn't he take me with him? Oh, right—then Near would be here all by himself. Like a guy like that needs babysitting or something...sheesh._

* * *

Near felt sick.

It wasn't something that he was accustomed to—like L, he was often fatigued due to staying awake for long amounts of time, but he rarely actually felt ill.

The white-haired boy has been re-reading the riddles he'd been decoding for the last time—just one more check to be sure that he'd annotated them all thoroughly enough, as he was sure of his solution by now—when he'd been interrupted. The irritating stomach ache that he'd had all morning had abruptly escalated into an intense pain in his side. It had caught him off-guard, and he'd barely been able to give a tiny gasp before he'd fallen backward right off of his chair.

He'd been thinking, he should have known better than to think without sitting on the floor first, his mind deduced, even while his body seemed to be doing its best to melt from the inside out. _The pain isn't over my heart—not a heart attack,_ he reasoned, trying his best to sit up. His body refused to respond—he felt heavy, so heavy that he was pressed to the floor, and the throbbing agony in his side was only getting worse.

What was happening to him...?

On top of that, he was now feeling very ill—not just in pain, but downright sick. _Rester and Gevanni are both...out working on what I sent them to do. L and Mello are gone...who is still here...?_

* * *

Matt casually opened the door without bothering to knock. Knowing Near, he wouldn't notice even if the other boy did...

"Hey, Near, are you throwing stuff around again?" He asked, stepping inside. He froze, though, as soon as he saw the white-haired boy.

Near was sprawled on his back on the floor. This wasn't that odd, as he would sometimes play with his toys while lying down, but his chair was on its side next to him—he'd fallen off. Not only that, but he was clutching his stomach.

"Near...?" Matt came over and knelt beside the younger boy, touching his shoulder, "H-hey, Near, what's wrong?"

The white-haired boy's face was ashen; it was like all color had been drained from his features. He had a strained frown on his face, and was trembling badly.

"M...Matt...?" His voice sounded very small and faint.

"It's me," the redhead said quickly; he was beginning to get the impression that he should be panicking. _He can barely talk..._

Near winced, squeezing his eyes closed tightly, and gasped out, "H...h-hospital...hurry..."

_The hospital? _Matt's eyes widened, _Is he sure?_

Looking down at the smaller boy's pale face, he knew that he didn't have a choice. _There's no time—I don't even know what's wrong with him, he could die if I hesitate! _

Steeling himself, he nodded.

"The hospital? No problem."

* * *

Near was starting to feel cold. He still felt very heavy when Matt scooped him up in his arms, and couldn't help his head lulling against the redhead's chest. All the while, his mind worked at this new puzzle.

_These...symptoms...signs of...poison? Have I been...poisoned...? _ His thoughts whirled dizzily; the world seemed to blur by, incomprehensible. Colors were too bright...or not bright enough. He couldn't be sure—they kept shifting whenever Matt moved.

The trip to the garage seemed to take hours.

* * *

Matt had never ran while carrying someone before; it would have been difficult, if not for the fact that Near was so small. The white-haired boy was very light. He felt fragile. It seemed like if Matt shook him around too much, he might break into pieces, like glass...

They reached the garage very shortly. The motorycle was there, but Mello probably had the key on him. _That's no good; the car, then._ The redhead hurried over to his classic red Chevy Camaro, opened the passenger door, and sat Near as gently as he could into the shotgun seat. _I hope the seat belt doesn't press on his side too much,_ he thought, strapping the white-haired boy in. Near's side seemed to be where the pain was coming from; he had been pressing on it with one hand since Matt had first found him on the floor.

He closed the door, hurried around to the driver's side and jumped into his own seat through the open window, not bothering with the door. A twist of the keys and the engine roared to life. Determined, the redhead punched the remote button that opened the garage door and floored it, zooming out into the street. _No time to worry about closing the garage...if Mello's bike disappears, he can kill me later,_ the redhead told himself dismissively.

Right now, all that he could think of was getting Near to the hospital.

* * *

Near kept a hand pressed tightly to his side, letting himself slump forward in his seat. He knew that pressing wouldn't help the pain any—it must be something internal, as there was no outward injury—but it seemed natural to do so. Perhaps human instinct made people do things like this, even when they knew that they were useless actions...

He tried to focus on this perplexity instead of the fact that breathing hurt.

The car roared to life not even a minute after he was strapped into the front passenger seat; Matt obviously understood the urgency of the situation. What Near hoped was that he understood that being pulled over for speeding wasn't going to be helpful now of all times...although the police would likely make an exception because it was a medical emergency. Crashing would most certainly compound the situation, though.

"Mello and I ride by the hospital all the time on our bikes," he heard Matt say; his voice sounded distant, but gave Near something to focus on besides the fact that the pain was spreading to his whole abdomen. "We'll be there in less than ten minutes."

A brief pause; the white-haired boy felt the car swerve slightly, something that would have been unnerving if he wasn't already distracted by feeling terribly ill. "Near...? Y-you gonna make it?" The redhead sounded a bit plaintive...he needed to hear a reply before he could focus on the task at hand, Near decided defeatedly.

Mustering up enough willpower to speak, he winced out, "Just...h-hurry...please."

"Right!" Matt seemed to be focusing on his driving again, because the slight swerving that Near felt each time the redhead talked to him didn't come this time. _He must not have...looked at me? Yes..._ Even Near's thoughts were jumbled; he couldn't fight the overwhelming feeling that his mind and body were trying to shut down. _Death...no, it makes no sense...unless I was poisoned..._

He couldn't do much to reassure himself about that, short of the fact that he trusted everyone he lived with, so that left no one with a motive _to_ poison him...not even Mello. Bitter as the blonde often seemed toward him, Near knew that Mello wanted to beat him in a competition. That would be rather difficult if he eliminated the competition before the contest began...

In a dreamy, unreal way, he realized that the car had stopped a moment ago. _Did I...pass out...?_ Similarly, he didn't remember being unstrapped from his seat belt; the next thing he knew, he was cradled in Matt's arms again, surrounded by the smell of astringent cleansers, rubber and plastic...

The hospital.

--End Chapter 1

* * *

AN: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of _In Charge._ Things are just getting started...stay tuned for chapter 2!

Additional Disclaimer: Gameboy belongs to Nintendo and Camaros belong to Chevrolet--I don't own them any more than I own Death Note.

Regarding the AU setting: As you've probably noticed from this chapter, this fic takes place in a slightly different setting, one in which L, Near, Mello and Matt live together and the latter three are basically L's apprentices in detective work instead of living at Whammy's House (they grew up there, but now are helping L solve more and more cases at once.)

Basic character relationships are still intact—Mello and Near still are at odds with each other, Matt still hangs around Mello a lot, and Gevanni and Rester work for Near like Watari does for L, going out and doing the in-person things that Near can't do for his cases since he doesn't go out in public.

I chose to place this in an AU setting because I didn't want to write about Light, Death Notes, Kira, Misa or Shinigami. The story I want to tell has to do with Matt, Near, L and Mello, so I wanted to cast the focus entirely on them. I hope it's not too disconcerting while reading, and I apologize if you were hoping those characters would appear in this fic. Maybe next time. (Sweatdrop)

Thanks for reading!

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 1**

Akugi #1

Matt: (Hears "thunk!" from the other room) "...?" (Yawns and turns on Gameboy) "Near's probably just throwing his toys around again." (Doesn't go to investigate)

Near: x.x _Am I going to die...?_

Akugi #2

Narrator: Matt casually opened the door without bothering to knock. Knowing Near, he wouldn't notice even if the other boy did...

Matt: "Hey, Near, are you throwing stuff around again?" (Steps inside--and on Near)

Near: (Squeak)

Akugi #3

Narrator: He still felt very heavy when Matt scooped him up in his arms, and couldn't help his head lulling against the redhead's chest.

Near: _So...whatever has happened to me, the person who caused it is a shounen-ai fangirl..._

Akugi #4

Matt: "Near...? Y-you gonna make it?"

Near: "No, I am going to die." (Attempt at sarcasm turns out deadpan)

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "Uh...then can we go back for my Gameboy?"

Near: "..." _Now I see what is _really_ important to a person like him..._


	2. False Family

**In Charge**

**Chapter 2 – False Family**

By Threshie

AN: Please note that I've visited the emergency room before, but it was years and years ago, so...descriptions of the hospital are not based in fact. (Sweatdrop) I wish I could research it by visiting one, but alas, I think they'd think I was crazy for wanting to visit the E.R. so that I could write better, LOL...

Enjoy.

* * *

Matt had never gone to the emergency room before. He wasn't sure who to ask for a doctor's help...thankfully, there wasn't anyone else there. Seeing the two teens enter the waiting room, a nurse in white scrubs immediately approached them.

"How can I help?"

Matt nodded down at Near, whose head was lulled to the side against his chest again.

"H-he just collapsed all of a sudden," he explained, feeling stupid for being unable to explain any more of what might be wrong except for that. "Um, h-he's in a lot of pain, too—in his stomach, I think." Near wasn't holding his side anymore, he noticed. _I wonder if that's a good or bad sign..._

The nurse frowned thoughtfully.

"I think I know what this is...please bring him right into this room, here, and the doctor can say for sure." She led them into an examination room, where the doctor asked Near a few questions about the stomach pain and when it had started, took the white-haired boy's temperature, and proceeded to diagnose something so fast that Matt didn't even hear what it was.

Before he knew it, they had wheeled Near off for surgery of some kind, leaving him sitting in the waiting room with a stack of paperwork and a feeling of confusion. He'd rushed so much to get here, without thinking about it at all, that now that he wasn't rushing he felt disoriented. _They said he should be okay after surgery, though...that's good. I wonder what's wrong with him?_

He looked down at the stack of papers on his lap and wrinkled his nose. He would have to fill in false names, of course... _Guess I may as well get this boring stuff out of the way..._ He snagged a pen from the cup full of them at the front desk and began to fill in the blanks.

Everything except for Near's age—which he figured doctors could tell just by examining him—and his blood type—which Matt had already told them before they ran off to the operating room, in case Near needed a transfusion during the procedure—he would write in something false. _Let's see...I can still call him "Near"; that's okay since it's a pseudonym anyway. I just need to give him a last name...how about..._

He paused, smiling wryly to himself. No matter what name he tried to follow Near's with, they all sounded more like a sentence. In particular, they sounded like traffic directions. "Near Redwood, you know that road with the big construction site? Yeah, pass that and stay on the right..." or "Near Favion, that Italian place..."

_Oh, hell, who cares if it sounds good or not? It's not like he's gonna care anyway, as long as I don't write his real name down. _Nodding to himself, he scribbled down the first fake name that came to mind and moved on to the next question. Paperwork wasn't exactly something he was fond of, but he finished the stack in considerably less time than the average person would have. It helped that he was making most of it up, whereas the average person would have to check and make sure all of their information was accurate...

After handing the papers to the lady behind the desk, he returned to his seat and sighed heavily, leaning his elbows onto his knees and cupping his face in his hands.

Now there was truly nothing to do but wait.

* * *

Hours later, the nurse came back and explained that the surgery had gone well. Near had appendicitis, apparently. In particular, he had acute appendicitis—his appendix has burst, and if they hadn't performed an immediate appendectomy, he actually could have died.

Matt wasn't sure what he would've told L and Mello if _that_ had happened...

"You can visit him in the morning," the nurse added, looking sympathetic when the redhead looked down at his boots upon hearing the news; he must have really looked glum. "He's recovering from his surgery now, and visiting hours are just about over for today."

"Yeah, okay." Matt nodded, unsure what else to say. "Will he...have to stay here for too long?"

"He will have to stay here at the hospital for several weeks," the nurse nodded, twisting a lock of her shoulder-length blonde hair. The action reminded Matt of how Near would twist a lock of his hair. He bit his lip.

"Okay, well...thanks." _Weeks?_

She nodded and smiled, "Just ask for his room number at the front desk tomorrow when you come to see him."

"Wait," Matt said, as she turned to go. _I can't just go home without Near..._ "Look, he's my brother—can't I stay in his room with him?" It felt pretty silly saying he and Near were related, as they looked nothing alike, but he had written the same thing onto the paperwork so that he'd have the most visiting rights, so hopefully the woman would buy it...

"Oh...I'm sorry, you...er, don't look much alike," the nurse said, looking indeed pretty perplexed at how they were related in any way. But then she nodded, "I suppose that would be okay...I'll have a cot brought in for you, then. Please understand that he's been given a lot of medication, so he probably won't be able to talk with you tonight, though."

"That's fine—I just didn't want him to wake up by himself," Matt nodded, trying to get the conversation over with. _Maybe we're _adopted_ siblings. Yeah..._

"His room is number 128," the nurse nodded in the correct direction down the hallway, "Just keep going that way and you'll find it on the right side. Tell the nurse who you are and he'll let you in."

"Thanks," the redhead nodded once, starting off in that direction. _He's gonna be stuck here for a few weeks, huh...I thought appendectomies only kept you in the hospital for a few days?_ He wasn't particularly knowledgeable on the subject, but he was pretty sure he'd read that somewhere. Maybe during one of his biology classes.

Oh, well. It didn't matter—the doctors seemed pretty sure of themselves, so he would trust their word on it for now.

Locating room number 128, he paused, wondering if he should knock. Deciding against it, he instead carefully pulled on the handle, easing the door open as quietly as he could. A male nurse with short black hair and glasses was in the room, and of course Near lay in the bed.

_He doesn't look so good, _Matt thought, noting that the white-haired boy's skin seemed ashen. _And do they have to stick all of those needles in his arms...?_ There was an IV needle in each of Near's wrists, a thin tube connecting them to bags of clear liquid that hung upside-down from IV racks on either side of the bed.

"Sir, visiting hours are over," the nurse said pointedly, looking irritated.

"I'm his brother," Matt shot back, feeling slightly smug when the man opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again, unable to find a way to deny such a statement. "The nurse outside said I could stay in here with him—she told me to let you know I'm a family member so you don't kick me out."_ "Let you know", not "ask you", buddy—come on, give me a break and stop looking so pissy about this..._

A bit grumpily, the nurse conceded, "Well, as long as it's all right with her, then. I'll get a cot for you—please have a seat." He nodded toward a chair that had been placed beside Near's bed, heading swiftly (and a bit stiffly, Matt thought) out the door.

"Wow, what a prick," Matt muttered to himself, sitting down in the chair and crossing his arms. He glanced at Near, who he realized was actually awake—his eyes were open, anyway. He didn't seem to notice that Matt was there, though... "Hey," the redhead greeted him, patting his shoulder.

No response.

_He didn't even blink...sheesh, that lady wasn't kidding about him being drugged up! An appendectomy is a pretty basic surgery—why does he have to have so much medication in his system?_

He didn't like it...was there something wrong with Near that the doctors weren't telling him?

Just then, the male nurse returned with a cot for him. Roused from his thoughts, the redhead accepted the item and waved the man away (it seemed like the right thing to do—he looked like he wanted to leave.) The gesture only seemed to irritate him more, though.

"Sir," he said, sounding like he wanted to call Matt something else entirely, "Shouldn't you call your parents and let them know about this?" _Oh, right...L treats us as equals, so I always forget I'm technically a "kid" to most adults._ Matt resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Dad's on a business trip, and it's pretty late tonight--I'll call him tomorrow," he said flatly, waving at the man again. _I guess L's as close to a dad as we've got..._ That sure was a bizarre thought, L as _anybody's_ parent... _Let's just call him a..."guardian". Yeah._ "Thanks for your help, see you tomorrow." _Do you get the hint? You can GO NOW._

Looking grumpy, the man sighed and left.

Matt shoved the fold-up bed into a corner, not bothering to set it up.

_No way am I gonna sleep tonight... _He sighed; he'd have to ask for more details about Near's condition first thing in the morning. In the meantime, all he could do was wait...again. Waiting was boring.

_It's gonna be a long night..._

--End Chapter 2

* * *

AN: Poor Matt, he ends up waiting a lot in this fic... And yes, Near will get more scenes from his point of view very soon. Hope you're enjoying the story so far. Keep an eye out for chapter 3; I've almost got it finished!

Trivia: This chapter's name refers to Matt telling the nurses and doctors that he and Near are brothers. Chapter 1's title refers both to Matt being the unlikely person to end up in charge, and to the unlikeliness of somebody developing appendicitis (the chances of people getting it in real life are about 7 percent.)

Disclaimers: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Gameboy belongs to Nintendo.

Thanks for reading!

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 2**

Akugi #5

Male Nurse: "Sir, visiting hours are over." (Irritated look)

Matt: (Smugly) "I'm his brother."

Male Nurse: (Pointedly) "If you were his father I would care--get out."

Matt: "..." (Wonders if he could have gotten away with writing THAT on the paperwork)

Akugi #6

Narrator: Nodding to himself, he scribbled down the first fake name that came to mind and moved on to the next question.

Matt: "Okay, Near, from now on you're Mr. Doe!"

Akugi #7

Narrator: That sure was a bizarre thought, L as _anybody's_ parent...

Matt: (Envisions L with frilly apron on, bouncing a baby that looks suspiciously like Near on his hip and talking on the phone ala forties housewife) O_o "Let's just go with 'guardian"....ehehehehe."

Akugi #8

Narrator: In the meantime, all he could do was wait...again. Waiting was boring.

Matt: "...The hell with this--I'm gonna wake him up right now so I don't have to wait anymore!" (Shakes Near) "Hey....THE LEGO COMPANY'S GOING OUT OF BUSINESS!"

Near: (Eyes pop open) "What?!"

Matt: "Wow, worked even better than I expected..."

Near: "..." (Goes back to sleep)

Matt: "...Hey!"


	3. Out of Range

**In Charge**

**Chapter 3 – Out of Range**

By Threshie

Technical Note: If you turn the viewing width to 3/4 or 1/2 by clicking the little link at the upper right side of the screen, this fic's formatting will be a LOT easier to read.

AN: In which Near gets to be awake again! He's a type of character that I've never written before, so I find writing his scenes to be a lot of fun. I hope I do him justice...I really like him in the anime/manga. (I like Matt a lot, too, but the poor guy gets less screentime by FAR, so it's easier to wing it while writing him, eheh.)

Near, you'll awaken at the count of three!

1...2...3!

* * *

Near drifted out of troubled, faceless dreams to find himself staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. Hearing the beep of a heart monitor nearby, he glanced around slowly, gathering from the equipment and the IV needles in his arms that he must be in a hospital.

_That's right...Matt brought me here, _he recalled uneasily, looking around. His memories of the night before included a hazy rush of voices, being wheeled somewhere on a cot...and then, abruptly, this. The pain in his stomach was gone...he felt vastly better, if a bit heavy-limbed still. The medication dripping into his wrists had to do with that, he decided.

He was alone in the room. Not many people would have guessed it, but being alone actually bothered Near a great deal.

One might say he even hated it.

Perhaps such feelings stemmed from the fact that his parents had abandoned him when he was very young. Perhaps it was because, intelligent as he was, he knew full-well that he was physically weaker than the majority of people he met, and could be overpowered by them.

Maybe he just didn't like people he didn't know.

Whatever the reason, he was abruptly very aware of that fact that he was in an unfamiliar, uncontrolled environment, with no one he knew around at all. _Where did Matt go?_ He wondered, pulling the white blanket on the bed up to his chin and glancing around with a little frown.

As if in response to his thoughts, the door opened. The white-haired boy peered intently over the edge of the blanket, eying the newcomer—a black-haired man who wore glasses and a nurse's uniform—with his usual intense stare.

"And how are we feeling today...?" The nurse asked, looking a bit unnerved by the stare. He made a half-hearted attempt to smile, but the boy's gaze made it fade within seconds.

"Where is Matt?" He answered the question with one of his own, not batting an eye. "Why isn't he in here?"

"Er...visiting hours have just started again," the nurse said, a bit taken aback. He seemed to have been expecting some little kid, with the way he'd been acting at first...well, Near wasn't going to waste his limited energy with pleasantries just to make the man feel better. "If you mean your brother, though, this is the first time he's left this room all night. He's outside—I can go get him for you if you like."

"Yes."

The man seemed to be waiting for him to say something else. When the one-word sentence was all that came, he shook his head a bit and headed out the door again. So Matt had told the doctors that they were brothers... _Smart. This way they can't refuse to let him see me._ He was surprised that the redhead had stayed there all night, though—why not drive home and lock up the house?

In moments, Matt came inside, his red hair a bit ruffled. His eyes widened behind the yellow goggles.

"Do you guys really have to hook him up to all of that stuff?" He asked the nurse, who had followed him into the room and closed the door. "This's worse than last night—jeez, do you wait 'til I leave and then plug in more stuff while I'm gone...?"

Looking a bit irritated, the man said stiffly, "He's just had surgery—it went well, but with a case like his, we need to monitor him carefully in case of complications or infection. And believe it or not, I haven't added anything new since the last time you saw him." He turned to Near. "How are you doing? I need to know if there's any pain, especially if your stomach hurts."

Near shot the man a look that clearly said "I don't know you, and I don't want to talk to you." Flatly, he added aloud, "I feel horrible, but no, I'm not in pain." A beat later, without any hesitation, he added, "Would you please leave?" _I don't like your condescending tone toward Matt._

"...Call me if you need anything," the man said after a moment of dumbfounded silence. With that, he headed out and closed the door behind him.

Near sighed, slumping back into his pillow. For some reason, the nurse's presence bothered him. He didn't seem trustworthy...not to mention lacking in bedside manner.

* * *

Matt wondered if Near knew he'd looked glad to see the redhead when he'd entered the room. _What, did he miss me? No, that's stupid—he probably just didn't like that nurse and wanted me in here instead. Go figure, the only five minutes I go outside and find that nurse lady to ask why they drugged him up so much are the five minutes he decides to wake up in. _He came over and sat down on the chair behind the bed.

"Hey..." He said by way of greeting, leaning an elbow on the edge of the hospital bed and glancing sidelong at Near. He'd been shocked about it when he first came in last night, and this morning it hit him again how very small Near looked, surrounded by all of this medical equipment.

He still had two IVs, one in each wrist, and little sensors stuck to his right arm and one spot near his neck that had thin wires leading to the vital monitoring equipment. He was in a hospital gown—an odd sight unto itself, as Matt had never seen him wear anything but pajamas—and without his usual baggy layers of clothing, he looked truly delicate and small.

Near watched Matt watch him. His dark eyes had a sharp intelligence to them...they would have been unnerving, if Matt wasn't used to them by now.

"Is it serious?" Matt blinked, realizing that the white-haired boy was speaking to him.

"H-huh? Oh..." He shook his head, "It could've been, but we got here fast, so you're gonna be okay."

Near didn't look away, didn't blink, but he didn't question the reply, either. After a long moment, his gaze slid down to his own hands, which were busying themselves by crumpling the edge of the blanket and crinkling it back and forth. The faintest hint of a frown came over the smaller boy's face, and his right hand came up almost automatically to twist a lock of his hair around one finger.

" ...So, what happened? What is wrong with me?" He spoke softly, not looking up. Matt understood. _Nobody told him what's wrong with him. He won't say it, but he doesn't believe me when I say he's going to be okay. He wants to decide for himself, I guess. _Thankfully, the nurse had explained this to him just a few minutes ago out in the hallway.

He took a deep breath, "The doctor said your appendix burst. Acute appendicitis, I think was the official diagnosis. They had to do emergency surgery and take it out, and it basically put a bunch of toxins into your abdomen, so you have to stay in the hospital for awhile until they make sure there's no chance of infection." He doesn't look happy at all... It took a lot to make Near frown enough for anybody else to see it; usually his expressions were very subtle. Matt only recognized them now because he'd had years to learn to.

The white-haired boy slowly scanned the room with his eyes, barely moving at all otherwise.

"...I see." He sighed faintly, "Have you told L yet?"

"No, I was kind of..." Matt fidgeted, trailing off. _I can't really say I didn't even think of it because I was too busy worrying about you...though that's pretty much the truth. That sounds stupid, though... _"Um, I-I left my cell phone at the house." It was the truth, now that he thought of it—his phone, last he saw it, was sitting on the coffee table. Right next to the couch where his Gameboy was...

"You're right, though—we should let L know what's going on. They probably have a pay phone around here somewhere...I think I saw one in the hallway." He glanced back at the door and stood, shrugging. "I'll go call him now."

* * *

_  
He's leaving? _Near felt a twinge of...something in his chest. Something a bit like panic.

"Matt," he heard himself say, as the redhead started to open the door. The name had come unbidden—he hadn't intended to say it, but it had just slipped out. _What am I doing? Of course he has to leave the room. He has to go call L...think about it rationally, _he chided himself, irritated at his own discomfort.

He didn't want to be left alone.

He didn't like it.

He didn't like not liking it. _How childish..._

Matt turned, blinking. "Yeah?"

No, he couldn't allow himself to be that pathetic...even though he wanted more than anything right now for Matt to come back over and sit back down and just _stay there_...

"..." Near sighed, pulling the blanket back up to his chin. "Please come back quickly."

* * *

_  
_Matt nodded and left the room. Closing the door behind him, he paused, frowning thoughtfully. _Okay, maybe I imagined it when he looked glad that I showed up, but that just now wasn't my imagination—he didn't want me to leave him in there by himself._ He crossed his arms, looking down at the toes of his boots. It was probably because Near always had some assistant with him, he decided. _No Gevanni or Rester to boss around, so he wants me to be the substitute...figures. _

Some part of him knew that that wasn't the truth, but he didn't want to think about it right now.

Right now, he had to call L.

Locating the pay phone he'd noticed earlier, he snagged the receiver from its cradle and dialed L's cell phone number, thankful that it scrambled itself five-fold over the line and thus made the great detective's number untraceable. _Wouldn't be very smart of me to leave his phone number around for somebody to trace back to him..._

After three rings, someone picked up.

"Hello...?" The voice was most certainly L's. Matt could almost see him holding the cell phone by his thumb and pointer finger, dangling it carefully next to his ear.

"H-Hi, L, it's Matt," he started a bit shakily—for some reason, because he had to be the one to tell L about what happened, he felt almost like he was confessing to doing something wrong. _You didn't do anything bad,_ he told himself uneasily, _Well, except maybe some speeding...but c'mon, it was an emergency. He won't be mad over that... _

In truth, he'd never seen L get mad over _anything_, but he still had the irrational fear that if the detective was displeased with him, the world may as well be ending. _It's probably the same for Mello and Near, I guess...without L, we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves._

Realizing that the subject of his thoughts was waiting for him to add something to his introduction, the redhead added hurriedly, "Um, I'm not sure how to say this...Near's in the hospital. I'm calling from there, actually."

"What? Why is he in the hospital, Matt?" L sounded concerned, but remained calm, as Matt had expected.

"H-his appendix...kind of burst," the redhead said, feeling sheepish. There was no way to talk about internal organs exploding that didn't sound disturbing, really... "Anyway, I drove him to the hospital, and they say he's gonna be okay now. I-I just thought you should know."

Silence, then Matt envisioned the black-haired man's nod as he said, "Thank you for telling me, Matt. Which hospital?"

_Oh, good, he's gonna come and take over and I won't have to be in charge anymore,_ the redhead thought in relief, rattling off the name and address without paying much attention as he said it.

"...All right, that's far enough away. Please stay there for now; you should be safely out of range."

"Range?" Matt asked, blinking. _Range of...what, exactly?_

"The case here has gotten rather complicated, and I'm afraid Mello and I can't come back yet," L explained...which really didn't explain much at all.

"Huh? But..." Matt trailed off, an uneasy feeling coming over him. _It's probably nothing...he's busy, I shouldn't waste his time. _He swallowed hard, "Okay. Um, Mello's okay, right? It's not...s-something didn't happen to him, too, did it?" _That'd be too freaky, Near and Mello ending up in the hospital in the same week..._

"No, it's nothing like that," L answered patiently. "We simply have restricted movement, and not much time to work on this case..." He paused, then sighed. "I have to go, Matt."

"W-wait..." Matt felt like hanging up would be admitting defeat. He didn't know why, but the thought of being in charge scared him. _Because usually if Near and I are left alone, he's the one in charge, I guess...I'm never in charge. I'm number three, there's always somebody else around to take charge...right? _

"Somebody _better_," the thought implied, though he didn't like to tell himself things like that. L, Mello and Near didn't mean to make him feel inferior...it was just the way that things were. They probably didn't even know that it bothered him as much as it sometimes did...

"Don't worry, Matt, I know that you can do this," L's words broke through that little self-deprecating voice in his head, bringing him back to the present. More softly, the black-haired man added, "...Matt, Near is a very reserved person, but don't let him fool you. He has never had to stay in a hospital before, and he's probably pretty scared right now. Please be kind to him, and take good care of him until Mello and I get back, okay?"

"I...I will, of course," Matt blinked, surprised by the sudden change in L's tone.

Before he could ask anything else, the detective added, "I really can't talk any more now. Call me again later, please." And just like that, he had hung up.

Matt stood listening to the dial tone for a minute or two before finally, slowly, he reached over and placed the phone back into its cradle. _Near's...scared, huh? He doesn't seem scared to me—if anything, he's just a bit grumpier than usual! _L always knew what he was talking about, though...so Matt figured he'd better believe him._ Well, scared or not, it's up to me...Near's the one who needs to be taken care of, so he can't be in charge, and there's nobody else around. So I'm in charge._

In charge.

It was a sudden and uncomfortably heavy responsibility. After feeling like he was just "number 3" most of his life, one might think that Matt would relish being the one making the decisions for once, but the prospect actually scared him. Near was the most brilliant person he had ever met short of L...and the one in line to be L's heir. If anything happened to him while he was Matt's responsibility, the redhead figured he might as well never talk to anyone he knew ever again. _Well, maybe Mello wouldn't mind...but, everybody _else_._

And on top of that, there was no one around to ask for help if he needed it...

_It's up to me to hold down the fort until L gets back... _Filling L's shoes (a bad metaphor, as he rarely wore any, but Matt wasn't up to thinking up a better one right now) was a very intimidating way to put his current situation, but surprisingly accurate. L was in charge of the house and of him, Mello and Near. While he and Mello were away, with Near in no condition to be even getting out of bed, that put Matt...in charge.

He sighed; thinking about this too much would just make him anxious, and that seemed like a stupid thing to inflict on himself. He took a deep, calming breath. _I'll just take it a step at a time. What do I need to do first? Near...that's right, he didn't like me leaving. I'd better get back to his room, and I'll decide what to do next when I get there. Yeah...sounds like a plan._

Nodding to himself, the redhead made his way back to Near's room.

It was going to be a long...however long it took L to get back.

--End Chapter 3

* * *

AN: And now Matt is officially "in charge" of Near. What will Near think of this arrangement...? Chapter 4 will tell!

Trivia: This chapter's title refers to L's comment about being "safely out of range", but it also refers to Near's feelings about being left in his room alone, and to L being unable to come take over the situation for Matt. Right now, nobody's "within range" to look after Near except for Matt. Also, it refers to Matt being under Mello, Near and L in "rank" I suppose you'd call it...L's kind of genius is, for lack of a better way to put it, "out of Matt's range". Not that he isn't a genius in his own right—L's just, well...a SUPER-genius.

Has anybody else noticed how co-dependent Near is? He barely even gets up—people are always just there to hand him things. That's why I think he'd be uneasy if he doesn't have somebody nearby.

Disclaimers: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Gameboy belongs to Nintendo.

Thanks for reading!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 3**

Akugi #9

Male Nurse: "And how are we feeling today...?"

Near: "You aren't Matt. I don't want you in my room." u.u

Male Nurse: (Twitch) _I hate kids..._

Near: "Why aren't you leaving?"

Akugi #10

Near: "Have you told L yet?"

Matt: (Deer in headlights look) "No, I'm kinda scared of talking to him on the phone."

Near: "Why?"

Matt: "'Cause...then he's talking directly to _me_." (Anti-social gamer side now evident)

Akugi #11

Near: "Matt..."

Matt: (Turns, blinking) "Yeah?"

Near: "..." (Pulls blanket up to chin, all cute-like) "Don't leave me."

Matt: (Sweatdrop) _Crap! I can't leave a little kid by himself! L can wait..._ (Sits back down)

Near: (Smirk) _And Mello says I am bad at acting..._

Akugi #12

Matt: "Um, Mello's okay, right? It's not...s-something didn't happen to him, too, did it?"

L: "No, it's nothing like that...we just ran out of chocolate and sweets, so we can't finish the case until the store ships more in."

Matt: "..." (Sweatdrop)


	4. At Home

**In Charge**

**Chapter 4 – At Home**

By Threshie

AN: I won't spoil, but a certain scene in here is one of my favorite scenes in the story so far. :) The other favorite is in the next chapter...which will be posted soon.

* * *

_  
I wonder what Mello's up to...something dangerous, from the sound of it. _Matt was still wondering uneasily what that bit about being "safely out of range" was about...

Near looked up sharply as he opened the door. Seeing who it was, he visibly relaxed; Matt was surprised that his expression actually changed as much as it did. _He really doesn't like dealing with strangers much, does he...?_

* * *

Near didn't bother hiding how glad he was when Matt returned. He hadn't been left alone in years, not for more than a few minutes...it was uncomfortable.

It made him uneasy.

It was even more uncomfortable when he still felt so weak that he could barely move. Matt was back, though, so he shoved these thoughts aside for now.

"Did you tell him?" He asked, of L, staring up at the ceiling.

"Yeah," Matt said a bit flatly, coming back over and sitting down on the chair beside the bed again. He kept his eyes downcast. ___Body language tells me he doesn't have any good news._

Still, when he didn't offer any further details, the white-haired boy prodded tiredly, "What did he say?"

The redhead glanced up at him; Near wondered if Matt even knew what color people's hair and eyes were, when he looked at them through those yellow-lensed goggles all the time. ___He probably thinks I'm blonde like Mello. _What a thought ___that_ was...

"L said we should stay here for now." He paused, then sighed. "He said there's some complication with the case he and Mello are working on, and that they can't come back here for awhile."

Near sighed, hugging the blankets. He suddenly felt very tired again.

"I see..."

He closed his eyes, focusing on the situation at hand and trying to ignore how sick he felt at the moment.

_So they have a "complication"..._

If not for the fact that he had been completely absorbed in working on the threat letters' riddles and the related case, he would have been the one to accompany L instead of Mello. ___How fortunate..._ He looked down at his stomach accusingly, ___My appendix would have caused a "complication" all on its own. L's trip would have been a tiresome chore then...like Matt's task at the moment._

He sighed again, very faintly. No matter how casual Matt seemed about the situation, he knew that it must be tiresome to be looking after Near in his current state. Especially considering the fact that he hadn't seen the red Gameboy even once since coming to the hospital... ___He hasn't smoked in here, either...and he hasn't left the room except for a moment or two to make that phone call._ Not long enough to smoke while he wasn't in the room, then.

___Hmm._ That must have been even more tiresome...

He directed his thoughts back to the news Matt had told him of L's and Mello's case. ___Mello might look at the case from a different angle than me, but he's quite competent. And I need not mention L's abilities...so, what could possibly prevent the two of them from moving during an investigation?_

Because he had been busy with his own case, he didn't know many of the particulars of the one that his mentor and Mello were working on, but he hadn't recalled hearing anything that would account for this. Perhaps it was just politics...L was always careful to do things legally, even when that meant he had to pause in his work to pull some strings.

___Or maybe Mello's impulsive nature made a mess that L had to stop and clean up,_ he thought tiredly, frowning to himself. ___Mello...you had better not be making trouble for L on the one occasion where you and him are working together alone..._

* * *

Near didn't look well at all, Matt thought worriedly, watching the other boy slump back into his pillow and close his eyes. His face was ashen again, almost as bad as it had been when he had first collapsed.

The two of them sat in complete silence for awhile; Matt was beginning to wonder if Near had fallen asleep again. _____No, he just...frowned? I wonder if what L told me is bothering him._ Having such a brilliant mind was a chore sometimes, Matt knew. He had trouble getting his mind to stop analyzing things and to just relax, himself—he couldn't even imagine how difficult it must be for Near, who was constantly focused on solving some puzzle, riddle or mathematical problem. _____I wonder if he ever _isn't_____ thinking?_

Impulsively, the redhead leaned forward and ruffled the smaller boy's hair. Near's eyes popped open; he looked at Matt, a look of scrutiny.

Determined not to be intimidated by the intense stare, Matt smiled and said, "Don't worry, just rest, okay? I'll take care of you until L and Mello get back."___Give your brain a break for a bit, will you?_

Near blinked, just once, then sighed and settled back into his pillow again.

"Yes...thank you."

_____He doesn't really sound thankful, _Matt thought, sighing himself. Oh, well. At least for now the situation was taken care of. He'd gotten Near to the hospital, he'd explained things to L...he hadn't made any huge blunders yet. Now all he had to do was to not let Near out of his sight for the next week or so...

Ugh. When he put it that way, it sounded a lot harder to do.

_____This's gonna be a long week.  
_

* * *

Hours passed. Matt lost track of how many; he's learned a long time ago that the more often you looked at the clock, the slower the hands seemed to travel, so he did his best to ignore the fact that he was wearing a watch.

Even that game he'd already beaten dozens of times would have been better than nothing. Unfortunately, he'd tossed his Gameboy onto the couch at the house when he'd gone to check on Near, so he didn't even have that option. He'd lost track of how many times he'd kicked himself for not shoving the little game machine into his pocket instead.

_____Damn am I bored... _The redhead sighed, leaning both arms onto the edge of Near's bed and resting his forehead on top of them. The white-haired boy had been sleeping soundly for most of the day.

Remembering what L had said about Near being scared inside, Matt watched him thoughtfully. The medication in the IV probably accounted for how heavily he had been sleeping. It was for the best—he _____did_ need to rest, after all, and while he was awake it was pretty obvious that his mind was still going full speed ahead. _____I think what he needs is a distraction; if I was stuck in a bed with nothing to do, I'd probably sit and wonder about what's going on with L and Mello, too. I wonder how I could make him feel a little better about being stuck here, _Matt mused, sitting up to lean his face on one hand instead.

Near seemed unhappy about having to interact with the medical staff, but that wasn't exactly optional when he was a patient. _____Maybe something to make him feel more at home...I've got it! _Matt got up carefully, so as not to jostle Near, and pressed the nurse call button, smiling to himself. Of course, it made so much sense—why hadn't he thought of it sooner?

"Yes, do you need something...?" The male nurse poked his head into the room, looking mildly surprised that somebody like Near would ever use the nurse call button. Seeing that the patient himself was asleep, he turned to Matt, adjusting his narrow-lensed glasses with an expectant look.

"Yeah, um...I need you to do me a favor," Matt said, a bit distracted—he had thought the man had short hair before, but when he'd leaned in the door the redhead had noticed a small ponytail hanging down over his shoulder. _____What a weird guy. He's such a grump, I don't know if he'll even do what I'm asking, but I guess it can't hurt to ask..._

The nurse arched a brow and waited for him to elaborate. Coming over to stand by the door so as not to wake Near (not that it was much of a concern, but Matt was used to him being a light sleeper), Matt explained his request. The nurse looked pretty skeptical, but as he turned to leave he said shortly, "I'll try."

Figuring that was the closest to a "yes" he was going to get out of the grumpy guy, Matt went back to watching Near sleep, leaning on one hand again.

_____You're gonna have a good hospital stay if it kills me... _He sighed heavily, slumping his forehead down onto the edge of the bed again, _____And since they won't let me smoke in here, it just might.  
_

* * *

Near awoke a couple of hours later, and it was obvious that he wasn't feeling at all well. Besides the fact that he was ashen-faced again, the most obvious sign was that when he woke up, he actually groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. Matt blinked, looking up from the magazine that he'd lifted from one of the hallway's plastic chairs (not an unwelcome distraction, per sey—he'd already read everything in it. Several times.)

"Hey," he said, smiling even though he was pretty sure Near couldn't see it through the blanket anyway. Lowering the piece of cloth in question, the white-haired boy peered over the edge at him with very tired eyes.

"..."

_____Oh, boy...he usually only makes that face when he's talking to Mello... _

"Uh...h-how are you feeling?" The redhead asked a bit uneasily; he had never actually seen Near get angry at anybody, but this was the closest he'd come to it in his "debates" with Mello, and Matt had seen plenty of those. Near was one of those people that he really did not want to be on the bad side of...

"...Ask if the doctors are clearing toxins out of my blood or just siphoning more in," the white-haired boy said flatly, dropping the blanket at last. His small fingers immediately began to crumple and twist the fabric; he wasn't used to being empty-handed.

Matt smiled a bit. _____Not for long... _In his current mood, he wasn't sure that Near would even appreciate it, but he went ahead and pulled out the item he'd had the nurse get for him anyway--a large green dinosaur figurine with an impressive mouth full of teeth. It had been the nurse's best guess at what Matt might want instead of his first choice (a robot of some kind), which the pediatrics ward had not had.

" Here, I, um...got this for you." He held the plastic beast out to Near with both hands, hoping that the white-haired boy didn't hate it. _____I've never seen him play with any dinosaurs before, but...he has a Godzilla, that's pretty close, right? Eheheh..._

Near's eyes widened at the sight of the toy. For a moment, he looked truly surprised. Slowly, he reached out and accepted the gift, examining it solemnly.

Matt couldn't decide if he liked it or not; he seemed to be checking it for hidden booby traps or something, with how closely he was looking at it.

"I-I thought maybe you might feel a bit better if you had something that reminded you of home," Matt explained a bit sheepishly, glancing down at the edge of the bed. "Sorry if it seems a bit..." _____Silly? Stupid? Insulting to your intelligence? It's so confusing talking to you, Near—you play with toys a little kid would play with, but you're _way_____ smarter than I am..._

"No..." He looked up, and found to his surprise that Near's lips had curved into a secretive little smile. "It's perfect." He hugged the dinosaur to his chest, turning his dark eyes on Matt again. "Thank you." He actually sounded like he meant it for once.

Relieved, Matt smiled too. "It's no trouble...I'm glad you like him." Near nodded, returning his attention to examining the toy carefully. _____Well, he looks a lot happier than he did... Mission accomplished, I guess. _

It had occurred to Matt earlier that if he was feeling bored and listless without his Gameboy, then Near was probably feeling even more so without any of his ever-present toys. He was usually surrounded by either toys or small items of some kind, and his hands were almost always busy.

Being empty-handed was something that Matt wouldn't wish on anybody. _____Anybody except myself, I guess—I didn't ask that guy to get anything for me to amuse myself with. _He sighed. Ho-hum—it would've seemed a bit odd for a fifteen-year-old to be asking for a pack of smokes, anyway._____ ...I wonder why L lets me smoke? I guess he's not _exactly_____ like a guardian, or he wouldn't...then again, he's not really one to talk, with all of the junk food he eats._

Once again, he wondered what was going on where L and Mello were. Saying that he and Near were "safely out of range" implied that L and Mello were in range...of something dangerous. _____I hope they're okay...maybe I'll call L again tomorrow. _He glanced at Near, who was making the dinosaur walk across his pillow's top hem with a very serious expression, and knew that that wouldn't work. _____I promised myself...and practically promised L, too, that I wouldn't let Near out of my sight until Gevanni or Rester show up to watch him while I'm gone. Calling would probably just distract them in the middle of their investigation—it can wait. I can wait._

All he really _____could_ do was wait.

--End Chapter 4

* * *

AN: I had to think for a bit about some toy that Near didn't already have, and the dinosaur seemed like a good idea. I played with toy dinosaurs a lot when I was a little kid. ) Anyway, the mental image of Near with a big toy dinosaur is adorable...LOL.

Once more, poor Matt is left waiting. At least Near's awake to talk to now. ;

Disclaimers: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Gameboy belongs to Nintendo. Godzilla...I'm not sure who owns him, but it sure isn't me. (Sweatdrop) As much fun as he is, I still must disclaim him.

Thanks for reading!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 4**

Akugi #13

Near: "Did you tell him?"

Matt: (Flatly) "Yeah."__

Near: "What did he say?"

Matt: "He can't return your feelings, 'cause he's dating Mello." (Wonders if this fic is REALLY non-yaoi....)

Threshie: "The Akugis don't count." =P

Akugi #14

Near: _W__hat could possibly prevent the two of them from moving during an investigation?_

Matt: "In case you're wondering, they ran out of sweets and chocolate."

Near: (Imagines trying to solve a case with no toys) ; "Understandable"

Akugi #15

Narrator: Impulsively, the redhead leaned forward and ruffled the smaller boy's hair. Near's eyes popped open; he looked at Matt, a look of scrutiny.

Near: "What are you doing" (STARE)

Matt: (Gulp) "Um...nothing!" (Resolves to never pat Near on the head again)

Near: "Good. It takes a lot of styling products to make it look like I just got out of bed and didn't brush my hair." u.u

Akugi #16

Narrator: Matt went back to watching Near sleep, leaning on one hand again.____

Matt: _____You're gonna have a good hospital stay if it kills me..._

(The next morning...)

Doctor: (Sweatdrop) "Uh...he needs two new kidneys."

Matt: (Determined) "Take mine, I don't need 'em anyway!"

Doctor: "....That would kill you."

Matt: (Nod-nod) "Uh-huh, whatever you say. How soon can we operate?"

Doctor: (Decides that Near isn't the only one with health problems--Matt's are just mental)


	5. A Brief Trade

**In Charge**

**Chapter 5 – A Brief Trade**

By Threshie

AN: Welcome to chapter 5! Wow, 5 chapters already...and this fic hasn't even been online for long. My other 29-chapter fic has been in the works for over 3-4 YEARS... (Sweatdrop) LOL—here's me crossing my fingers that my inspiration for this one lasts for awhile.

Let's see what Matt's up to (with me and my mean Gameboy-stealing ways, he's probably waiting yet again...)

(...Yep.)

* * *

If only he knew Gevanni's or Rester's phone numbers.

Near had played with his dinosaur for about an hour, before fatigue set in and he had fallen asleep with the toy hugged loosely to his chest. That was fine with Matt, but for most of that hour, and the four that followed, all that had occupied the redhead's mind was that he really needed a smoke.

_Ughh...addiction's a stupid thing to get into... _He groaned inwardly, holding his head. He stubbornly refused to leave Near alone...which basically meant that, unless Gevanni and Rester somehow knew where they were and that they should visit, he couldn't leave one of them to watch the white-haired boy even long enough to go have a smoke. He could have just left Near unattended for about fifteen minutes—he was asleep, he wouldn't even notice...but, again, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't.

_Come to think of it, though, if Rester and Gevanni get back and the house is empty, they'll probably be left wondering where Near went... _Matt thought about this for about thirty seconds before concluding that he had to leave them a message. He headed out to the pay phone, telling himself that Near would be okay alone for a minute or two as long as he was asleep, and called the house's number. _I wish I could smoke a cigarette as quick as I can make phone calls—that'd fix this whole problem. _

Well, not exactly—he didn't have a pack of smokes on him, either—but it would help a whole lot...

Naturally, he got the answering machine.

After listening to the voice mail message—a recording of L's voice with the identity-hiding computer effect over it—and waiting for the beep, the redhead explained shortly what had happened, listed the hospital's name and address, and said pointedly that if Gevanni or Rester were listening, they should come visit.

"Near would appreciate it if you'd bring some of his toys—those robots, maybe—and if it's not too much trouble, bring me a few packs of smokes." Satisfied that he'd made the last request nonchalant enough that nobody would accuse him of being an addict (not true—he could quit if he wanted to, he just...well, didn't want to), the redhead hung up the phone and hurried back to Near's room.

Maybe that other thing he'd asked the nurse to bring would get here soon...

* * *

Near awoke feeling like he hadn't slept at all. _...Why does the human body have organs it doesn't need, anyway? Especially if they are going to explode randomly...?_ He rubbed one eye, then looked down at his lap, realizing that his dinosaur was missing.

It had surprised him when Matt presented him with the plastic reptile. He had been surprised, but he couldn't say that he didn't like the gift. It had made him realize that, besides having no one there with him all of the time, the first thing that had made him uneasy about the hospital was that he hadn't had anything to occupy his hands with. His hospital room was very orderly...there was nothing unnecessary in it, nothing at all to play with. It had been uncomfortable.

Until Matt had given him the dinosaur. Except, now his dinosaur was gone...

It didn't take him long to find it, though; glancing toward the other side of his bed, he was surprised to see it standing on the bedside table—surrounded by a platoon of army men! Big green plastic reptile faced off against tiny green plastic soldiers, as a certain redhead was making the former stomp through the latter.

"Rowr," Matt said drolly, shoving one of the soldiers into the dinosaur's mouth. He proceeded to make chomping noises, working the reptile's jaws with his fingers.

Near smiled inwardly at the sight, but feigned a very serious face as he reached over and picked up one of the soldiers Matt had knocked over with the dinosaur before. _I understand if he wants to play with them, but he has to play the game right..._

* * *

"Soldiers should have more structure than that." Matt froze at the familiar soft voice, feeling his face flush in embarrassment. Near was awake!

"U-uh...eheheh..." He stammered, quickly pulling his hands away from the dinosaur as if it might burn him and leave pebbly plastic marks on his skin. _Crap! I was so bored I kind of got carried away... _That, and he didn't even need to add in his thoughts anymore that it was a good distraction from wanting a smoke.

Near didn't seem to notice his embarrassment; the white-haired boy was arranging the soldiers into two neat lines, one flanking each side of the dinosaur.

"Soldiers are a team," he said calmly, carefully inspecting the lines of little green plastic men; his right hand had gone to twisting a lock of his hair again. "They work as one large entity—this way, they know what will happen."

He turned the dinosaur to face away from the tiny army.

"They have the element of surprise."

Matt watched this, glad that Near seemed to be so absorbed in the toys that he wasn't going to comment about Matt playing with them, too. The white-haired boy remained leaning back on the pillow, only moving his arms; each time he did, Matt would wince a bit. _He better be careful with those IV tubes..._

"This man is the distracting element," Near continued seriously, pulling the last soldier out of the dinosaur's mouth and placing him on the ground alone in front of the plastic beast. "He's the martyr. He's going to sacrifice everything so that the rest of the team will win."

He picked up the little plastic soldier, frowning down at it.

"...He's stupid. There are better ways to do this." He sighed, placing the man back into place before the dinosaur. "Oh, well—it's not the best way, but it is one way. It will work." He nodded to himself, turning his attention back to the army of men behind the dinosaur.

_He's completely absorbed, _Matt observed in bemusement. _I mean, honestly...he _does_ remember they're just pieces of plastic, right?_

"If a team works together and does everything as they are told to, they can accomplish what they thought was impossible." Near gestured to the army of little soldiers. Reaching over, his eyes narrowed as he pulled one out of line from the others. "If, however, even a single person makes a single mistake..."

He turned the dinosaur and made it stomp through the soldiers, knocking all of them down. Matt nodded; he didn't need to explain, the point was clearly illustrated.

_I get it...teams only work if they work together. Maybe that's why when Mello wants to do things differently than him and L, it seems to irritate him... _He shook his head, feeling silly._ Look at this—he's got me thinking seriously about toys, too! Sheesh..._

He patted Near's shoulder, smiling.

"I'm glad you're feeling better."

Near glanced at him sidelong, a toy soldier in one hand and the dinosaur in the other.

"I feel terrible," he said tiredly, looking down at the soldiers on the table. He began to set them back upright, adding calmly without looking up, "That's why I'm glad someone brought these soldiers. If you find out who, I hope you'll convey my thanks to them."

_He knows I got them for him just as well as I do, _Matt thought, amused.

"You're welcome," he said wryly, sitting up straight in his chair again; he had been leaned over to be able to reach the toys. Near's dark eyes were focused intently on him again. He nodded, hugging the dinosaur to his chest.

"Do you sleep with your goggles on?"

The question was so random, so spontaneous that for a moment Matt didn't realize that it was a question. Near said it so nonchalantly...like a statement, like he already knew and wasn't curious at all.

The redhead shrugged, "Sometimes, when I forget to take them off. Why?"

Near was still staring at him, unblinking.

"I don't remember what you look like without them," he said seriously. Matt blinked. _Is he actually serious? I guess I do kind of live in them, but still, he's got a really good memory—how could he forget what I look like without goggles on? _"If you ever take them off," the white-haired boy continued, seemingly oblivious to the slight implied insult in saying 'if', "Can I try them on?"

"It's not like they're stuck to my face," Matt pointed out, sweatdropping. "Look, I can take them off." He pulled the goggles off in one swipe of his hand, blinking at how oddly-colored everything looked. He'd never seen the hospital room without the yellow-tinted lenses on... "See...?"

* * *

_He actually took them off... _Near was surprised that he had gone along with the request. Matt had been wearing the goggles constantly for almost as long as he could remember. It wasn't entirely true that he didn't remember what the redhead looked like without them, but his mental image had been getting fuzzy.

_I didn't even remember what color his eyes are, _the white-haired boy thought glumly, disappointed in his memory's capacity. He should have been able to recall things better than that...perhaps it was because he was so tired right now.

Matt blinked, glancing around the room. His eyes were, as Near now recalled from their days in the orphanage, a vivid cornflower blue.

Near switched the dinosaur to one arm, holding out the other hand expectantly. Sweatdropping again, the redhead handed him the goggles.

"You were serious about trying 'em on, huh?"

"Yes." _I may never get the chance again...and I want to see what wearing goggles feels like, to decide whether I should have Commander Rester get me that pair of spy goggles..._ It was no good, he had to let go of the dinosaur to put them on properly. Absently, he handed the plastic beast to Matt without looking away from the lenses in his hand to see if the redhead actually took it (he didn't hear it hit the floor, so he must have...), and pulled the goggles on. He kept his eyes tightly closed until he was sure that he had pulled all of his hair out from under the lenses; when he opened them again, he couldn't help but squint a little.

The room was stained various shades of yellow. The perplexing part was that some things—such as the sliver of sky he could see through the window—for some reason looked very _bright_ now. _So this is how Matt sees the world..._ He glanced around the room, then at Matt.

The redhead—whose hair was tinted dark gold through the lenses—looked a bit anxious. Perhaps he was afraid that Near wouldn't like the goggles, which obviously were an accessory he was fond of, since he wore them all the time. _It could just be the difference in color...but he looks very odd without these on._

* * *

"Interesting." That was all that Near said about the goggles. Matt wasn't sure he was glad or disappointed; on one hand, it would have been kind of embarrassing if the white-haired boy had said they were stupid, but on the other hand... _What? He likes toys, so I assumed he'd like them? Goggles are kind of toy-like...I guess. I just think they look cool._

He shrugged. It was kind of interesting to see Near when he wasn't tinted yellow...he knew that the smaller boy's hair was white, but it was still kind of startling to see _how_ white it was. _I wonder why his hair is white? He's not albino or anything—he would have blue eyes if he was, and probably bad eyesight, right? Huh...well, age definitely isn't a possible reason._

His mental meanderings were interrupted by their very own grumpy male nurse, who came into the room without bothering to knock first. He held a clipboard in one hand, and as usual had a frown on his face. He seemed a bit perplexed by the fact that the goggles had traveled from Matt's face to Near's since last he'd been there, but only adjusted his glasses and stood up a bit straighter in reaction.

"A-hem."

* * *

Near glanced at the newcomer, frowning slightly. _It's him again._ The nurse must have been assigned to his room, because he was the only one who had come in since the surgery besides Matt.

"Excuse me," the man said in a tone that suggested he didn't care if he was interrupting any conversation of theirs or not. "I'm sorry, but I need to run some tests to be sure your condition isn't becoming...something more serious."

"_More serious"? _Near stared at the man evenly. He was about to ask what made the nurse so sure, but Matt spoke up first.

"There you go again—is there something wrong with Near that nobody's telling us?" He sounded both frustrated and concerned at once. _I wonder how long he's been wondering about this... _The redhead hadn't hinted that anything else was wrong until now... He probably didn't want to worry me. He sighed, pulling the goggles off—seeing everything in yellow was disorienting.

"I noticed during my last visit that his complexion is ashen," the nurse frowned, glancing sidelong at Matt. The redhead frowned at him, blue eyes daring him to look away first.

"Yeah, he's sick. Isn't that normal for somebody who's sick?"

"...It could be a sign of a very serious condition," the black-haired man explained, sliding his little glasses up the bridge of his nose with an index finger. "I need to run these tests to be certain that he isn't developing an infection."

Near listened to them quietly, not entirely sure he liked the idea of the man examining him. _I don't like him...there is something suspicious about him. _He couldn't decide what, exactly, but it made him uneasy.

Matt had stood, and was now crossing his arms and looking stern.

"I don't want you to do it."

The nurse blinked, "I have to—do you mean to tell me you would rather he get a possibly life-threatening condition than have me examine him?"

"I...no, th-that's not it. I think..." The redhead glanced at Near, a questioning look in his eyes, "I think he'd rather have somebody other than you do it."

"..." Near reached over, picking up one of the green army men and examining it with sudden, intense interest. _No, I don't like him at all...but, I wouldn't like _any_ complete stranger running tests on me. _He wondered why Matt was so defensive of him all of a sudden.

* * *

The nurse got a very strange look on his face.

"I...I see." He took a deep breath, as if Matt's last sentence had struck a physical blow, and asked stiffly, "What, may I ask, is objectionable about how I have been treating the patient?"

Matt frowned, waving the man to follow him further away from the bed so that Near couldn't hear every word.

"I think you scare him," he said pointedly, crossing his arms again. "You're blunt, and cold, and you don't look like the type who's very gentle on a patient, either."

The black-haired man blinked, looking down at the floor. He bowed slightly, startling Matt into backing up a step, and sighed.

"I apologize for my bedside manners. I'm afraid I'm not used to working with English-speaking patients yet, and...being short seems less risky than to say something incorrectly."

_What is he, some kind of foreign exchange student? _Matt wondered, regaining his composure somewhat. Now that he thought of it, the guy was Asian... _No reason to assume English isn't his first language, though—especially when he speaks it so well. _Apparently slang wasn't his specialty, though—he spoke a bit properly, and always seriously.

"I may not have the best relationship with my patients," the nurse continued, straightening with a little frown, "But I am excellent at doing my job. I wouldn't have been hired by a foreign company if I was not. If you find any part of my work to be anything but perfection, I'd dearly like to hear about it."

Matt thought about asking where he was from, then changed his mind and asked, "What's your name?"

"Teru Mikami," the man blinked, caught off-guard by the question. He furrowed his eyebrows a bit, adding pointedly, "It's printed on my nametag."

Matt nodded, not bothering to look at the tag pinned to Mikami's shirt, and headed back over beside Near's bed.

"It's really up to you, Near—are you okay with this grumpy Japanese guy doing the tests, or should we get somebody else?" _With a name like that, he's definitely Japanese._

The white-haired boy continued to examine the little army man he was holding, handing the goggles back to Matt without looking at him.

"He can do them."

_Just like that? _Matt thought, absently taking the goggles back. _I thought the guy really creeped him out, though..._

"You sure? I could go get somebody else," he offered, glancing back at Mikami, who stood stiffly near the door looking like he'd be glad if they told him to get out right then and there.

"...It's all right." Near twisted a piece of his hair, looking down at the bed tiredly. _He really doesn't look good... _"My stomach hurts. I think...tests are probably for the best."

Matt nodded, waving Mikami over. _His stomach hurts? They just did surgery on it, but still...I wonder if that's a bad sign? _He watched anxiously as the nurse started his testing, all thoughts of L and Mello, and yes, even smoking having left his mind.

--End Chapter 5

AN: What a cheesy way to end a chapter... (Sweatdrop) Sorry, it was getting long and there just wasn't anywhere else I thought it could cut off at without seeming abrupt.

Yes, I made up Matt's eye color. There's no official canon color, and If you believe the anime's color scheme I'm already portraying his hair wrong, so sorry if you didn't imagine his eyes as blue, but it makes as much sense as the next color. (Shrug) Besides, Matt as a blue-eyed redhead looks cute, and very colorful beside Mello, Near and L.

Disclaimers: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata. Gameboy belongs to Nintendo. Little green army men aren't exactly a copyright issue, I don't think, but if they belong to a specific person, it isn't me. (Sweatdrop)

Thanks for reading!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 5**

Akugi #17

Narrator: Near awoke feeling like he hadn't slept at all.

Near: _I must not have._ (Goes back to sleep)

Matt: (Groan) "_Please_ wake up so that I have somebody to talk to!"

Akugi #18

Near: "Do you sleep with your goggles on?"

Matt: (Shrug) "Sometimes, when I forget to take them off. Why?"

Near: "If you don't take them off for days, they must leave round imprints around your eyes. I was just curious whether they would double as swimming goggles, with that kind of seal involved..."

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "..."

Akugi #19

Matt: "Look, I can take them off." (Pulls on goggles) "...." (Tugs) ".....!" (YANKS) "....Nevermind, I think they've grown into my face." o_o;

Akugi #20  
Mikami: "What, may I ask, is objectionable about how I have been treating the patient?"

Matt: (Frowns) "I think you scare him."

Near: (Calls from across the room) "No he doesn't."

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "Well...you're cold, and blunt, and have bad bedside manners!"

Near: "Don't worry, I can manage to be cold and blunt and have bad manners as a patient in return." u.u

Matt: "..."

Mikami: _He's doing this just to make things more difficult for me, isn't he?_ (Sweatdrop)


	6. Protective

**In Charge**

**Chapter 6 – Protective  
**

By Threshie

AN: Here we are in chapter 6. This fic is going well. Anybody who has read one of my AU fics before should recognize my going theme of using canon characters as much as possible rather than adding in OCs, hence Mikami is a nurse in this incarnation instead of a prosecutor.

Trivia: Chapter 5's title refers to Matt and Near trading some trademark behavior for a little bit. Specifically, Matt played with toys like Near, and Near wore goggles like Matt.

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Near was beginning to wonder if they had diagnosed him right.

He'd felt a lot better the morning after the surgery, but ever since then he'd gradually been feeling more and more ill. _Not only that, but my stomach hurts. This man said that it could be a sign of a serious infection..._ He glanced sidelong at Mikami over the thermometer that the nurse had stuck in his mouth, frowning ever-so-slightly. _...But I am not sure that I trust his word on anything yet. He still seems...suspicious._

Matt seemed to be pretty worried about him; he wondered if the nurse had said anything about his condition to the redhead while he was out of earshot. _I felt fine before the day that Matt had to bring me to the hospital,_ he told himself, ignoring the fact that the thermometer was beeping. _There can't be anything seriously wrong with me...unless it is caused by the appendicitis._

If he had ever had appendicitis, that is.

If the doctor had diagnosed him correctly.

_From what I recall, the man only did some very basic tests before sending me to surgery...and the human body is perfectly capable of running without even a healthy appendix, so if they diagnosed it incorrectly, there wouldn't be any side effects to reveal their mistake..._

He snapped back to the present when Mikami plucked the thermometer out of his mouth, examining the readout critically.

"Hmm..."

"Does he have a fever?" Matt asked, leaning over his shoulder to look at the readout as well.

The black-haired man frowned, turning the thermometer off with the press of a button, and answered stiffly, "Yes, although it is a mild one." Near watched Mikami intently as the nurse sat the little device back onto onto the small tray of items he had brought in just a moment before. _You hid the readout from Matt. I don't like that..._

He felt his own forehead with one hand, being very careful of the IV needle still in his wrist. _I can't tell if I have a fever...if I do, my hands are a higher temperature, too._ He sighed, moving his hand from his forehead over to the side of his face to twist a lock of hair again. He wished that his stomach didn't hurt; that was the only reason that he had agreed to Mikami examining him. He had a nagging feeling that his complexion had nothing to do with why the nurse had visited again so soon...

--

Matt hovered by the head of the bed, watching Mikami's every move carefully. It surprised him how anxious he felt that Near's condition might be more serious than it had at first appeared. _It's because if something happens to him, L would never forgive me for not taking care of him well enough...right?_

He wasn't sure anymore. Most likely he was letting Near's childish stature and appearance get the better of him, and feeling protective because of that. _Yeah...that's probably it. Near's a really small person, especially without all the baggy pajamas on..._ Thoughts like those reminded him of when he had carried Near to the car, and then into the hospital. He had been very light... _"Petite"'s not a word guys like to hear people describe them as, but that's what he is, I'd say. Eheh._

Realizing that his mind was drifting into the realm of strange logic that it usually did when he was sleepy, the redhead hurriedly returned his attention to the present.

"I need you to cough for me," Mikami was saying, sounding more like a stern schoolteacher than a nurse.

Near didn't break the same unblinking stare he'd been watching the man since his temperature had been taken, asking flatly, "Why?"

Sighing in annoyance, the nurse said grumpily, "Because if anything happens when you cough, it could tell me something vital about your condition."

Near turned his intense stare to the dinosaur toy, which stood amidst the army men on the bedside table, and asked pointedly, "Such as?"

Matt crossed his arms, wondering if he should say anything. _I know you don't like the guy, Near, but you're the one who agreed to let him do these tests. Besides...the quicker he's done, the sooner he can _leave_..._

--

"Please, just cough and if anything happens, you'll know what pretty quickly," Mikami said, frowning. He was starting to look a bit frustrated...something that Near didn't regret in the least. _I don't like you, Mr. Mikami. Why do you act so suspicious around Matt? Especially about my condition..._

Sighing, he took a deep breath and mustered up a tiny, very quiet cough. Mikami didn't seem to notice, though, so he coughed a second time and brought his hand up to cover his mouth in the process. _Is that obvious enough for you? You are supposed to be paying attention while testing someone._

Mikami frowned, looking irritated, and said, "All right, next I am going to do a test that requires that I touch you. Please don't be alarmed."

Near sighed and sank back into his pillow, staring tiredly up at the ceiling. He could only stay awake for a little while right now before he ran out of energy and had to sleep again. _And you are wasting what time I have with these stupid tests...I don't like you at all, Mr. Mikami..._

"Fine. Please just do it and be done with it," he said flatly, glancing sidelong at Matt. Just as he'd suspected, the redhead looked decidedly unhappy about Mikami having to do this latest test. His blue eyes stared into Near's hesitantly, worrying, questioning. _He is a nurse...albeit a very suspicious one. He wouldn't hurt me, especially not right in front of you, Matt._

Near couldn't very well say that aloud with Mikami standing right there, so he settled for thinking it.

* * *

_I don't like this...is this really the only way that he can test if Near's condition's getting worse? _Matt kept his arms crossed, watching unhappily as the black-haired man pressed a hand slowly on Near's stomach. The white-haired boy didn't show any outward sign of discomfort at being touched by Mikami, but he had shot Matt a long look just a moment before and it hadn't been a happy one. _It's okay...I'm right here, he wouldn't dare do anything to hurt you. You know that, right? _

It was Near, he reminded himself, of course he knew it. Hell, Near probably knew things he hadn't even thought of about this whole situation. _Near's a genius, _he thought, trying to reassure himself._ If he agrees to be tested like this so easily, there can't be any danger in doing them._

A sudden gasp of pain from the white-haired boy jerked him back to reality. Mikami was pulling his hand away; he had been pressing on Near's stomach again.

Matt stepped forward immediately, "Stop, you're hurting him!"

The black-haired man glanced at him, looking none-too-guilty for causing Near any pain, and said simply, "I'm finished; it is just as I suspected."

* * *

"It—wh-what?" Near could hear the concern in Matt's voice, but didn't check to see if his expression matched; he had his eyes squeezed tightly closed at the moment. He struggled to draw a breath, pressing both hands over his stomach.

Mikami had pressed lightly and slowly the first time, but the second time his hand has seemed to dig in. It was swift, a sharp blow to the stomach that had been disguised as another press, and if he hadn't been left breathless from the intense pain it had caused, he would have told Matt to get Mikami away from him. _That was no test—I refuse to believe that striking a patient can be allowed in a hospital._

"Mr...Kennedy, was it? I'm afraid that your brother's condition is very serious," Mikami was saying.

Near didn't like the sound of that diagnosis at all, especially seeing as how he didn't trust the person saying it. _That can't be true...I felt much better until you started with these "tests" of yours..._

Matt stared at Mikami in disbelief. _Whatever he just did hurt Near enough to make him wince—h-he's _still_ wincing from it! How can I believe that's a normal thing to do to test somebody's condition?_

Near made a tiny little pained sound, something akin to a whimper but much shorter. Matt went over next to the bed and knelt beside it, worriedly patting his shoulder.

"I-it's okay...hang in there..." _What did he _do_?_ He felt guilty for just standing there while Mikami had done this. _Some guardian I am! He probably doesn't feel safe at all, even if I _am_ in the room... _"Near?" He asked more softly, seeing that the smaller boy had opened his eyes again.

"...I...I'm a-all right," Near said quietly, drawing a shaky breath; he was staring down at his hands, which were crumpling the hem of the blanket tightly. "You...h-hit me...why?" He switched to talking to the nurse without looking at him.

"I didn't hit you," Mikami frowned, stepping over next to the bed again; Matt resisted the urge to tell him to get away from Near, trying not to let his expression give his thoughts away.

_You creep...what do _you_ call it? _

"I'm sorry if my last test was painful, but it was necessary," the nurse explained coldly, dark brows arching. "Judging from the symptoms, you have peritonitis—a very serious abdominal infection."

Matt turned back to face him, asking sharply, "Why did you have to hurt him to find that out?" A tendril of anger was weaving its way into his tone like smoke. _I hate this—this isn't right! I never should've let him do these tests..._

"One of the most important tests to determine if a patient has peritonitis is rebound tenderness—pain in the abdomen if pressure is applied and then quickly taken away," Mikami glanced down at Near, whose dark eyes were already staring intently up at him.

The look was one of dark, intense scrutiny; Near usually reserved it for Mello._ He's got a right to be mad about this..._

Mikami sighed, "That's why it didn't hurt the first time I pressed—do you understand? The only reason that the second time hurt is that I removed my hand more quickly."

Matt glanced at Near, too, wondering if perhaps he'd gotten defensive too quickly. Seeing the white-haired boy in such pain had been almost painful to _him_; it was like a slap in the face, in fact. _I-I blamed Mikami pretty quick, without an explanation or anything..._

Near met his eyes, deep, dark calm showing in his own as usual. _What do you think, Near?_ Matt wondered, _Do you think he's telling the truth? Or...maybe you're just thinking how I didn't protect you...at all..._ He bit his lip, breaking away from the intense stare to look at the toes of his boots.

"What will you have to do to treat this?" Near spoke softly, voice still trembling ever-so-slightly. Glancing back, Matt saw that he was looking at Mikami now.

"...If we don't operate immediately..." The nurse glanced at Matt grimly, "It could be fatal."

--End Chapter 6

* * *

AN: In case anybody's curious what kind of blue "cornflower blue" is, type "cornflower blue" into Wikipedia's search box—it has a little thumbnail to show you the shade. That's the color of Matt's eyes in this fic, although his are a more vivid, slightly darked shade of cornflower blue than the thumbnail's. I ought to draw a color picture of him without the goggles on to show you what my mental image is...because it's really cute. 3 Hehe.

And yes, "Mr. Kennedy" is a reference to Resident Evil 4. I figured if Matt had to come up with a fake surname off the top of his head, he'd probably think of a gaming-related one first. LOL.

For safety's sake, here's a disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil 4 or Leon S. Kennedy.

Sorry this chapter is so short--this seemed like the best place to cut the scene off. Also, FFN's formatting is being a pain, and that's why a couple of scenes are separated by --'s this time around. (Sigh) I wish I could just leave it the way I type it originally, but alas, FFN wants "uniform" formatting. Oh, well.

So, does Near really have peritonitis, or does Mikami just want them to think so? Chapter 7 is in the works now!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 6**

Akugi #21

Narrator: Near was beginning to wonder if they had diagnosed him right.

Near: _If I have appendicitis, why am I growing kitten ears and tail?_

Matt: (Pokes ears) "Y'know, I have _no_ idea why these grew in overnight, but they're kinda cute." ^_^

Akugi #22

Near: (Coughs)

Mikami: (Doesn't seem to notice) "Will you _please_ hurry up and cough?"

Near: u.u "I already did."

Mikami: "No you didn't. I didn't hear anything."

Near: "Then you ought to pay better attention."

Mikami: (SIGH) "Just cough again so that I can observe it this time!"

Near: "I refuse to do the same stupid test twice just because you don't do your job well enough."

Mikami: "You...!" (Fumes)

Matt: (Sweeeaatdrop) _I wonder if this guy's gonna make the next test hurt to get revenge...ehehe._

Akugi #23

Mikami: "I'm finished; it is just as I suspected."

Matt: (Twitch) "What, that your stupid test hurts?"

Mikami: u_u "No, that your 'brother' here is an android." (Points at Near acccusingly) "I felt a _fan_ in your stomach!"

Near: u.u "Now that you've found out, I can't let you live. How awful."

Matt: "!?" _Did I miss something, here?_

Akugi #24

Mikami: "Mr...Kennedy, was it? I'm afraid that your brother's condition is very serious..."

Matt: "You don't say it right--it's MEESTER Kennedy, not MISTER Kennedy."

Mikami: "...'Meester' Kennedy, will you please pay attention to the more _important_ problem here?" (Twitch)

Matt: "Better. What were you saying again? Something about Near being serious?"

Mikami: "...." _The world would be so much better off if _certain_ people were deleted from the face of it..._


	7. Suddenly

**In Charge**

**Chapter 7 – Suddenly**

By Threshie

AN: In which I introduce another familiar face.

Trivia: Chapter 6's title referred, of course, to Matt feeling protective of Near. It also applies to Near's realization that Matt is being defensive of him (he was kind of surprised, LOL.)

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

The silence was so heavy that Matt could feel it crushing him a little at a time. "Fatal"...the word rang in his ears even after Mikami had left the room saying that he would bring a doctor to examine Near. _He could die._ That was all that Matt could think of every time he looked at Near. _He could _die_._

The white-haired boy lay there quietly, holding the dinosaur, which he had picked up from the table as soon as Mikami had left, in both hands.

"Near," Matt began, unsure what he even planned to say. _H-he could die!_ His mind screamed, but he ignored it.

Near glanced at him, dark eyes solemn. There was still that sharp intelligence behind them, but by now weariness was beginning to show, too.

"Yes?"

"Y-you...do you believe him?" Matt asked, sitting down in the chair beside the bed. "About you...th-that maybe you could..." As eager as his mind was to repeat the word, he just couldn't bring himself to say "die" aloud. He trailed off instead, looking down at his hands, which were tightly grasped together and resting on his knees.

Near sighed, returning his gaze to the dinosaur.

"...No." He frowned faintly, "But, I am not sure if that's because I don't trust Mr. Mikami, or because I don't believe the diagnosis." He paused, then added carefully, "I...think that it would be foolish...if I refused to be treated and possibly neglected a serious condition. Don't you, Matt?"

_H-he's asking my opinion? _Matt swallowed hard, brows furrowing unhappily. _That's right...I'm the one in charge. I'm so used to treating him like he's higher "rank" than me, I-I forgot he's looking at me for what to do in this situation. This...what do I do?_

"Y-yeah, I guess so," he answered softly, glancing up at the white-haired boy. Near looked unhappy...not the usual tiny hint of an expression, but an actual frown. _I wonder what's going through his head right now... _He wondered how he would react if someone had just told him that he might die.

* * *

Matt looked pale. Near wasn't sure what to say to make him feel better—he wasn't good at that kind of thing—but it was obvious that the redhead was taking the grim diagnosis from Mikami harder than Near himself was. _An infection of the abdomen...surgery to remedy that is probably major. I wonder what the mortality rate is..._ He frowned at his dinosaur, debating with himself on what to do.

_If the mortality rate of the surgery is higher than the mortality rate of this condition, I might refuse to let them operate on me...however, that isn't likely. I am almost certain that a serious infection is more likely to kill me than surgery... _He sighed softly, petting the dinosaur's head. Playing with toys was an absent-minded habit; he did it while thinking, to keep his hands busy, or to demonstrate points that he wanted to make to others. The dinosaur seemed to be particularly comforting, though...he liked it better than the army men. Maybe it was because the dinosaur was big enough to hold with both hands, and to hug.

Nobody ever hugged Near, so hugging the dinosaur would have to do. He certainly felt like he needed a hug right now...

_I don't want to die, of course, _he glanced at poor Matt, who was looking like he might cry_, But if I am not calm right now, Matt might think that the situation is worse than it is. I am always calm...if I start acting uncharacteristically, he'll notice immediately... _

"Matt," he said softly, wrapping his arms around the dinosaur and hugging it gently to his chest.

"Yeah?" The redhead answered immediately, looking at him with sad blue eyes. He had been too startled by Mikami's diagnosis to remember to put the goggles back on; they sat where he'd left them on the bedside table awhile ago.

Near chose his words carefully, hoping that he was saying the right thing...

"I...will probably be all right. He only said that it could be fatal if they don't operate on me." He met Matt's eyes, hoping that he understood._ Don't worry so much. It doesn't help anything...and, if you act so worried any more, I might... _He let the thought trail off; he wasn't sure what he would have added onto the end, anyway._ What? That I might let him see that I am actually scared?_

* * *

Matt blinked.

_Is...he trying to make me feel better? _

He nodded, looking back down at his hands again. _...I must look like I'm freaking out, for him to say something like that...dammit. _He couldn't afford to let Near see him in such a state...he was supposed to be the strong one right now. He was supposed to take charge of the situation, know the right things to do, and take care of Near.

_L would know what to do... _He thought, realizing abruptly how the great detective must feel when he, Mello and Near looked to him for the right answers every time they asked him anything. L wouldn't just know the right answer, he'd know it on the first try._What...what was he thinking, leaving in charge? Not that there's anybody else around to do it instead, but--_

He jumped at the sound of the door opening, cutting off his own thought abruptly. Glancing behind him, he saw that Mikami was back with a serious-looking blonde woman in tow.

"Mr. Kennedy, this is Dr. Lidner," the nurse said stiffly, gesturing to the woman. Dr. Lidner had flat-cut, layered bangs, red lipstick and long, dark eyelashes. She was very pretty, and looked much younger than Matt expected a doctor to look.

"Hello, Mr. Kennedy," she said, coming over to see what her patient looked like. "This must be the other Mr. Kennedy." She smiled warmly, "May I call you by your first name, sir?"

* * *

Near looked at the doctor, blinking. He felt none of the suspiciousness that he felt whenever he looked at Mikami; Dr. Lidner seemed more trustworthy even to his intuition.

"It's Near," he replied softly, turning back to his dinosaur with a little frown. "And yes, you may." _Mr. Mikami never even bothered to ask my name. Hm._

"Good," the blonde smiled again, turning to Matt. "You must be Matt. You're listed as his brother on the paperwork, but I must say that you two don't look at all alike..."

"We're adopted," Matt answered uneasily, looking up at her. "Doc...the nurse said Near could..." He paused, then looked down at his hands, saying faintly, "D-die. H-how...likely is it? What's the probability?" Near didn't look up, but was surprised again at how upset the redhead sounded. _He is more upset about this than I am...and Mr. Mikami only said that it "could" be fatal. Matt seems to be thinking of it as a definite outcome already. _If he was definitely going to die, he would be acting a little more upset, himself. As it seemed, there wasn't any point in wasting his limited energy by worrying.

Dr. Lidner glanced over her shoulder at Mikami, arching a fair brow. "Mikami, are you scaring these kids without any definite diagnosis? That isn't very kind." The nurse stiffened at her words, but didn't offer any kind of reply.

She sighed, turning back to Matt. "Before you start worrying about such grim things, let's see if he even has perotinitis in the first place. Mikami seems sure, but I always see for myself before I make any orders for surgery."

* * *

"Okay," Matt nodded; it sounded reasonable. He didn't want Near going to any surgery that he might not actually need, certainly... Figuring that the doctor would need to be next to Near, he stood and offfered her the chair.

"Thank you," Dr. Lidner said, seating herself. "Near, Mikami told me that he tested your temperature and did several other tests. I am going to repeat some of them again to be sure of my diagnosis, so this will be a bit redundant I'm afraid."

"W-wait!" Matt froze—had he just said that out loud? _Dammit!_ He shrunk a bit, as everybody turned to look at him, and stammered uneasily, "Y-you won't have to do a..." He glanced at Mikami, frowning a bit, "Rebound tenderness test again, will you?"_ Please don't say you have to hurt him again to figure this out..._

He looked at Near, wondering if the white-haired boy was thinking the same thing. Near looked back, watching him with understanding in his eyes. _You know why I'm doing this...right?_

"Yes," the blonde said, looking a bit surprised. "Yes, I will have to do one of those. Is that a problem?"

"Do you have to?" Matt asked, avoiding Near's eyes in favor of his own hands as he added more quietly, "I-it hurts him...the nurse already found that out, so why do it again?" _Come on...he's tired and he's already had a really lousy day. _

He didn't add to his thoughts that Near seemed too fragile to take much more poking and prodding to him. If he'd stopped to consider this last thought, he would have realized that Near always looked fragile...it was just more obvious when he in a hospital bed.

* * *

"It's all right, Matt," Near spoke up, turning and placing the dinosaur carefully onto the bedside table again. Glancing sidelong at the redhead, he said pointedly, "I am sure that Dr. Lidner knows what she is doing." _I am almost certain that Mikami didn't do it right. Even if it does hurt as much this time as it did before, it's necessary to determine if I need surgery, so...there really isn't anything to debate here. _

Matt just didn't want to see him in pain again, he knew. His reaction when Mikami had done the test earlier had surprised Near; he didn't consider Matt to be very close to him, and had thought that the redhead thought of him the same way. _Perhaps I don't even know the people who are close to me very well...I'm not good with people in general._

He sighed, listening as Matt unhappily told Dr. Lidner to go ahead with the tests. He seemed to be respecting Near's volunteering to undergo them, but looked sad that he had to. _I wonder if he considers himself responsible for my condition? He isn't...being in charge doesn't make my health problems his fault._ _Besides, he only ended up in charge in the first place because I collapsed._

"All right," Dr. Lidner was talking to him, he realized. He looked up at her, the usual even stare, and waited for her to tell him what to do. "First let's just test your temperature."

Near grumbled inwardly as a very familiar thermometer was stuck into his mouth, and shot Matt a tired look. _I wish that we could just go home...or that L was here._ He frowned to himself, _Actually, I don't wish that L was here—if he was here, he would be wasting his time like Matt is, caring for me instead of working on whatever important case he has. That would make me a burden...and I never want to burden L._

Matt he couldn't really help burdening at the moment.

He couldn't talk around the thermometer to tell Dr. Lidner, but he was suddenly feeling very tired...and heavy. He lay back on his pillow, closing his eyes, and hoped that they did whatever they were going to do soon so that he could hurry up and recover, and go home again.

* * *

Matt suddenly felt useless. _The doctor's taking care of Near...Mikami's hanging around to get things for her. All I can do to help is to bring him toys,_ he thought glumly, watching the white-haired boy close his eyes, small hands crumpling the edge of his blanket again. If Near had looked ashen when Mikami commented on it, he was even more so now—his cheeks had no color to them, and he looked exhausted. The time that Mikami had spent with his little tests had been time that Near would have otherwise spent sleeping, recovering...

Beeping told him that the thermometer had finished its test. He didn't try to look at it this time; he hadn't expected Mikami to tell him Near's temperature, but Dr. Lidner seemed like the type who might.

"Hmm...you definitely have a fever," the doctor said, examining the little readout screen; Matt watched her out of the corner of his eye. "105.1 degrees! I'd imagine that you're feeling pretty tired right now, Near—am I right?"

"Yes..." The white-haired boy murmured without opening his eyes; his voice was soft and flat. _He sounds like he's half-asleep,_ Matt thought, turning his attention back to watching him. He hoped that Near was too sleepy to feel the effects of the rebound test as much as he had when Mikami had done it.

"I'm sorry, but you can't sleep right now," Dr. Lidner said, shattering those hopes very quickly. She patted Near's shoulder, "Please wake up, Near. I need you to sit up for me."

"I am not asleep," the white-haired boy said flatly, opening his eyes and looking up at her dully. "If you are going to ask me to cough, Dr. Lidner, I can already tell you that nothing happened when I did before."

The doctor blinked, looking surprised at how frankly her patient was speaking. _He's been pretty quiet and polite since she came in,_ Matt thought, smiling faintly despite himself, _So she's just now figuring out how confident he actually is. I guess maybe he looks like the kind of person who would be scared in this kind of situation..._ He felt the heaviness of worry sinking back down onto his shoulders, as his own thought had just reminded him again that Near was in a pretty serious situation.

If Mikami was right, anyway—maybe Dr. Lidner would find that he had messed up one of the tests. Matt really, really hoped that Mikami had just made some stupid mistake...he wouldn't even be mad at the grumpy man for it, although he couldn't entirely let go of the fact that he had hurt Near before.

_Maybe he's wrong, though,_ he reassured himself, watching Near and Dr. Lidner apparently having a stare-down. _Maybe._

* * *

"I know that you've just done this, Near," Dr. Lidner said, with more patience in her voice than on her face, "But as I've explained, I need to do the tests over again. It will only take you a moment to cough for me—could you please?"

_I have to sit up to do that, _Near thought pointedly, staring the doctor right in the eye; neither of them had blinked since they started talking about the stupid coughing test. Near usually would have been more reasonable...even he could tell that he wasn't acting quite right. _Getting up and doing the test would be the reasonable thing to do...so why do I feel like just ignoring her? _

He felt exhausted, and if there was suddenly no one in the room except for him and Matt, he wouldn't have minded in the least.

"Dr Lidner," he spoke softly, breaking the stare-down at last to close his eyes, "I...am very tired. I s-suppose...that is a bad sign..."

"Not at all," the blonde's voice sounded a bit gentler now; it reminded him of how Matt's demeanor changed entirely when he had heard Mikami's diagnosis._Poor Matt...if I do die, he will blame himself... _

Now where had _that_ grim thought come from?

"It's normal to be tired after going through surgery," Dr. Lidner was saying from somewhere off to his left. "You can sleep soon, but first I have to finish these tests. Please help me finish them quickly by doing what I ask you to, okay?"

Near didn't want to do any more tests.

He didn't even want to move, or to reply.

_...But I have to, or I might die. That would be foolish...to die from being stubborn. It sounds like something that Mello would do, not me._

Mustering up what energy he had left, the white-haired boy very slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, staring down at the blanket heavily.

"All right," he said, "Quickly."

Nodding, Dr. Lidner said gently, "Thank you. Now, please cough for me."

Glumly, Near complied. Thankfully Dr. Lidner paid more attention than Mikami did, and he only had to do it once this time around. The woman watched him bemusedly for a long moment, then said, "All right, you can lay back down now if you like..."

Gratefully, Near sank back into the pillow, wincing as he not-so-carefully folded his hands across his stomach and ended up tugging on one of the IV needles. _How could I end up in such a state in only three days...?_ He wondered wearily, turning his head to look at the doctor. He didn't have the energy to maintain his usual intense stare, and now his dark eyes were half-lidded. He imagined that he must look drugged...not that it mattered. With the IVs in his wrists, he probably _was_ drugged...

"Do the rebound test, please," he prodded Dr. Lidner, who was examining the notes she'd been scribbling onto her clipboard with a thoughtful frown. "Quickly, please, I...I don't feel well." _Just let me sleep..._

* * *

Near was looking so small and pale that Matt felt like yelling at the doctor for bothering him any more, even though he knew that she was just trying to help. _I can't help it...I __don't know what's wrong with me,_ he thought, watching with apprehension as Dr. Lidner slowly pressed a hand to Near's stomach and then gently moved it away. The white-haired boy didn't seem to be in pain...he was staring tiredly off into nowhere, though, eyes half-closed. _He looks so pale...I-I hope the doctor really does know what she's doing..._

Dr. Lidner pressed on the white-haired boy's stomach again, just as slowly and gently as before, but pulled her hand away quickly this time. Matt was bracing himself for watching Near wincing and gasping in pain again, but...he didn't move.

"That's interesting," Dr. Lidner said, surprised. "Near, did that hurt at...Near?" She leaned down, looking at the white-haired boy's face in concern, then quickly pressed two fingers to his neck.

Something was wrong.

_Is she testing for a pulse?!_ Matt was beside the bed in seconds, leaning over and shaking Near's shoulder more roughly than he should have. He wasn't really thinking, though.

No response; the smaller boy's head lulled to one side, eyes half-lidded and dull.

_Is he...?!_

"H-hey, Near!," Matt shook him harder, "W-wake up! You're s-scaring us," he said; his voice sounded faint to his own ears, the sudden pounding of his heart almost drowning it out. Dr. Lidner was talking to him, but he couldn't hear what she was saying over the pounding, the pounding and that damned word that repeated over and over in his mind, chanting.

_Dead, dead...he's _ dead_...!_

--End Chapter 7

* * *

AN: (Sweatdrop) Yes, I'm mean and it's a cliffhanger. Sorry...I don't like to make my chapters much longer than this, and nowhere else seemed like a reasonable place to cut to chapter 8. (Arguably it's not very reasonable to cut it here, either, but...meh. I also like dramatic, angsty death scenes, so I ended this way on purpose, too. LOL.)

Okay, so Gevanni and Rester got to be in this fic and Lidner is one of my favorite female characters in Death Note; I had to add her in somewhere, and I thought it might be cute to see her interact with Near in an AU setting where she doesn't work for him. ) Hopefully I characterized her okay...she seems like the type who is serious and professional, cool-headed but not perfectly calm like Near usually is.

I decided that, if she'd never met Near before, she would probably try to talk to and interact with him more gently since he looks much younger than he actually is and she doesn't have any impression of him being an authority figure in this incarnation. She really does think of him as a kid in this story. :)

I like to sneak trivia things into this fic. The line "Just let me sleep", for example, is a quote of Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy VII. Hehe. Also, did anybody catch the reference to Near's room being number 128? That's right—he and Light meet on 1/28, January 28, for their final showdown.

Wow, what a long AN...I'm leaving now, see you next chapter.

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 7**

Akugi #25

Narrator: The silence was so heavy that Matt could feel it crushing him a little at a time.

Matt: (Looks a lot shorter and flatter suddenly) _G-gack....somebody say something...!_

Near: (Plays with dinosaur; doesn't notice.) "..."

Akugi #26

Narrator: Nobody ever hugged Near, so hugging the dinosaur would have to do.

Near: (Hugs dinosaur tight) "...." (Snuggles)

Matt: ^_^ _He really seems to like that dinosaur._

Near: (Hugs dinosaur repeatedly) _Can't he take a hint?! This dinosaur can't hug me back!_

Akugi #27

Matt: _L would know what to do..._

L: (After making a big show of carefully thinking about it) "Let the doctors take care of it." (Nod-nod)

Matt: "..._I_ could've done that!"

L: (Smile) "Sometimes the simple choice is the best one, Matt."

Akugi #28

Lidner: "That's interesting. Near, did that hurt at--"

Near: "_Yes!_ Why didn't Mr. Mikami just bring you in to do the tests the first time?!" (Pokes her in the stomach with the dinosaur's tail) "It feels like _that_! Oh, I had better do that _again_, just to be _sure_!" (Jab-poke-prod)

Lidner: (sweatdrop) "..."

Matt: _And he wonders why people mistake him for a little kid._


	8. Break

**In Charge**

**Chapter 8 – Break**

By Threshie

AN: The chapter title this time has a double meaning...

Okay, time to pull you back up from that cliff you're hanging on now, eheh...

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Beeping.

A steady, slow beeping.

Was the thermometer beeping again?

He didn't feel anything stuck in his mouth...come to think of it, he couldn't feel his mouth. The same went for his hands, his body, his feet...for all he knew, he had been beheaded and was just now noticing. _What an illogical thought..._ His voice sounded hazy and faint, even in his mind. _Ugh....what has happened to me?_

Opening his eyes felt like an arduous task...he wasn't sure that he was up to it.

Whatever the beeping thing was, it didn't seem about to stop.

Besides the beeping, things were terribly silent. _Matt,_ Near thought suddenly, _Where is he?_

He forced his eyes open, ignoring how heavy his eyelids seemed to be right now, and took in the sight of an unfamiliar room with beds and dozens of kinds of equipment lining both walls. He didn't pay too much attention to the background, because there was something much closer that grabbed his attention. Something was on his face. _...An oxygen mask_, the white-haired boy identified it after a long moment. _...Intensive care? Why am I here...?_

He saw several people moving around quietly across the room, but they seemed so far away that he barely even acknowledge them. _I am on oxygen...does that mean that I can't breathe on my own? _He wondered, uneasiness starting to turn into real fear. If he couldn't breathe without assistance, his body must be in bad shape. And he was alone...where was Matt? Matt had always been right by the bed every time since that first morning when Near had awakened alone.

_I wonder if I will die._ The idea formed itself slowly, thoughtfully, as if it was just occurring to him. His mind didn't seem to be working right...it was too slow. Everything seemed to take a moment to sink in before he could go on to analyze it. _I want Matt,_ he thought hazily, wondering if there was a nurse call button anywhere that he could press. _He was so worried about me before...I want to see him and show him I am awake...._ Though he didn't think it, he knew that he also didn't want to be alone...if he was going to die, more than anything he didn't want to be alone.

He didn't remember what had happened for him to end up here...the last thing he could recall was laying back down after the bothersome coughing test, and...asking Dr. Lidner to hurry up with the rebound test. After that, his mind drew a complete blank.

_My chest hurts,_ he realized vaguely, looking down at it without movving his head. He couldn't feel his mouth, or his arms and legs, but he could feel his chest? How strange.

It didn't make any sense...nothing seemed to make sense right now.

He tried to reach out and feel for the edge of the bed, but his arms felt far too heavy to move, and besides, he couldn't feel what his fingers came in contact with.

Numb was the word his mind had been struggling for since he woke up.

_I feel numb._

Even after mustering up as much strength as he could, the most he managed to do was to turn his head and note faintly that there was, indeed, a button on the side of the bed.

Now all he had to do was to force his uncooperative body to reach out and press it...

* * *

The hallway was cold.

Every time somebody opened a door, the rush of chill air from outside made Matt shiver. He insisted on sitting outside on the hard plastic chairs, though, because if he went back into Near's now-empty room he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it. He wouldn't be able to get the images of Near's pale and lifeless body out of his mind.

_He's _not_ dead,_ he told himself firmly, wrapping his arms around himself a little tighter.

Down the hall, someone opened and closed a door.

Whoosh.

He shivered, hanging his head. _This's all my fault..._

Dr. Lidner had had to do CPR to get Near breathing again. Around the time that his chest shallowly started to rise and fall on its own, Mikami—who apparently had gone for help at some point that Matt didn't remember—returned with a bunch of doctors and nurses. They had wheeled the white-haired boy off with an oxygen mask held over his nose and mouth, leaving Matt sitting there in shock with no one to ask what had happened.

He had been so stunned, so shaken, that he hadn't even tried to follow them.

After about 45 minutes, Dr. Lidner returned and explained everything. Near's fever had spiked, causing him to stop breathing. The human body could only handle a temperature of 107.6 degrees before it was too overheated to function properly. Mikami had called the fever "mild" when he had tested the white-haired boy's temperature, and then when Dr. Lidner had done the test again, it had risen to 105.1—considered a high-grade fever. It must have been rising for awhile, and had finally gotten too high...

_He kept getting more and more tired,_ Matt thought heavily, _I-I just thought it was because his medication made him want to sleep, but...his body must have been shutting down._ He felt a pang in his stomach at the way that his thought stated it, hugging himself tightly again, but couldn't deny that it was the truth.

The fever, as it turned out, was caused by an allergic reaction to the antibiotics that were in the IVs. If he didn't feel responsible for Near's well-being before, now he truly was kicking himself for what had happened.

When he had filled out Near's paperwork, Matt had assumed that the white-haired boy didn't have any allergies, and had written that in...

_That makes the fever my fault. I did that to him...by being _stupid_._ He'd already kicked himself for it dozens of times, but no amount of doing so seemed to make him feel any less guilty.

Nevermind that he hadn't talked to Near much before this whole appendicitis incident.

Nevermind that he had no way of telling what allergies the white-haired boy may or may not have.

Excuses like that were as believable to him as someone shooting somebody else, then claiming that because a different person loaded the gun, it wasn't their fault. Bottom line, he had been _responsible_ for this, whether he meant to be or not. And that was a crushing feeling...

How could the whole world come crashing down like that in seconds?

Back in that hospital room, for a moment time had seemed to freeze. For a moment, Near was dead, and Matt had failed him, L and even himself...and now, when that moment had passed, the feelings behind it were still stubbornly clinging to him.

_I-I feel...sick._ He knew that he should call L again, let him know what had happened...but admitting that Near had almost died because of him...he knew that he couldn't face L right now, not even just talking to him on the phone. _Dammit...how could I make such a basic mistake? This's why I'm only number three...this is why Mello and L and Near will always be _better_ than me._

Slam.

Whoosh.

More shivering.

He wished that he could visit Near, but the nurses had shooed him away when he had tried to visit the Intensive Care Unit earlier. Near was there because, until the drugs were cleared from his system, he needed to be monitored constantly. Dr. Lidner had said that he would likely stop breathing again unless he was on oxygen.

_What would I say to him, anyway? I-I feel like I don't even deserve to see him. Maybe if I stay away, he'll get a chance to get better without me there to mess things up..._ He knew that he couldn't do that, of course—he'd promised himself, and more importantly he had promised L, that he would stay with Near while he was in charge.

_How can I do that if they won't let me sit in there with him, though?_ The ICU wasn't a private room—that's what the nurses had said. They would call him when Near woke up, they had said.

_That means he'll wake up alone—he'll know I left him alone in there._ _As if I haven't done enough to make his week hell, now he's gonna be _alone_, too! Dammit!_ He mumbled the curse aloud bitterly in an echo of his thoughts, feeling tears prick at his eyes, and buried his face in his palms.

This must be why L never made even one mistake. Just one could make up for all of the past ones you avoided.

"Matt?"

He must have been imagining the familiar voice. It wasn't possible that it was real—he was off in some other city, and besides, he might not even know which hospital they were--

"Hey, don't ignore me!" He felt a hand connect with his head, a light cuffing type of blow. Voices he could imagine, but being hit on the head?

Looking up, he stared in disbelief at the unmistakable form of a certain blonde teen clad in black leather. As usual, he had a chocolate bar clenched in one hand, and an irritated expression on his face.

Somehow, though it made no sense, Mello actually _was_ there.

"M...Mello!" Matt stood immediately, still staring at his friend, "H-how did you....get here?"

"I rode my motorcycle," the blonde cocked his head, eyes narrowing dangerously, "Which was in the _open_ garage, might I add. Care to explain why in hell you left it sitting there, free to get _snatched_ for over three days?"

Matt wasn't really listening, though. _Mello's here...if he's here, _he's_ in charge. I'm not in charge anymore..._ Relief flooded through him, a feeling so strong that he couldn't have hoped to fight it. His knees suddenly felt weak. _It's okay. He's in charge now. He's in charge, not me._

* * *

Matt seemed to be in some kind of daze; his face held a look of blank shock, and he was staring off into nowhere. Mello was about to conk him on the head again for ignoring him _twice _in one conversation, but just as he was raising his hand, the redhead did something entirely unexpected.

Leaning forward suddenly, Matt hugged him.

No, "hugged" was too casual a word. The redhead was _clinging_ to him, hanging on as if Mello might disappear if he didn't hold tightly enough.

"Wh-what the hell, Matt?!" The blonde exclaimed, stiffening at the very tight embrace. He was stuck with one arm held above his head and the other pinned to his side, but quickly stopped caring about that when he realized that he could feel Matt shaking. Trembling. One of his hands rested on Mello's shoulder—it was cold to the touch.

_He's really chilled—what, has he been so worried about stupid Near that he forgot to take care of himself?_ A bit awkwardly, the blonde lowered the arm he'd raised and wrapped it around his friend, patting the redhead's back.

"Hey, pull yourself together..."

Matt mumbled something too quietly to be heard; it was muffled by Mello's shoulder. The taller boy frowned, debating whether he should try to struggle out of the hug or if it was necessary to endure it for Matt's sake. _What's he so clingy for all of a sudden? ...Probably after Near's "company", he's thankful to have somebody _interesting_ to talk to..._ He kind of knew that that wasn't the truth, but he didn't particularly want to think too much about why his best friend was suddenly acting so strange.

There were only a few things Mello knew of that could make Matt this subdued and..well, _vulnerable_, and as far as he knew none of them could have happened, as they typically involved _him_ being there and being a jerk. _Okay, what did I say _now_ that made him think I hate him...?_

He stopped short, though, when he felt the tears on his shoulder.

"...Matt, you're freaking me out," Mello said pointedly, leaning away from the hug and redhead both so that he could look his friend in the eye. Matt looked so odd without his goggles...it was a really rare sight to see those vivid blue eyes, and even more rare to see them full of tears.

"S-sorry," the redhead sniffled, hanging his head. "...M'just s-so glad y-you're here now, Mell...y-you have no idea....h-how glad I am...." He dissolved into tears again, sobbing quietly and hugging himself. Maybe he was so cold because he had only the boat-necked, black and white striped shirt on—no vest like he usually wore when he went outside the house. It made him look kind of small...

Feeling half-guilty and half-alarmed at the situation, Mello sighed and pulled Matt into a hug of his own.

"Okay, okay, hug me if you want! God, did you miss me that damned much?" _We haven't even been gone a week--what the hell happened, exactly? All L told me was that Near got appendecitis and ended up in the hospital,_ he thought, patting Matt's back as the redhead slipped his arms back around Mello's waist and buried his face in the front of the blonde's black vest. _He said he's 'glad to see me'...is that _really_ all this is about?_

He didn't believe that.

* * *

Matt knew that he was probably weirding Mello out, hugging him and crying like some little kid, but he couldn't help himself. He hadn't realized how much of a strain being in charge had been until he wasn't anymore. _I-I don't belong in charge—Mello knows how to be in charge, l-let him do it..._

"...Matt, what happened?" Mello's tone had softened quite a bit; he sounded like he was trying his best to act neutral, but there was obvious concern behind the words.

The redhead tried to think of an answer, but all of them sounded horrible. _Oh, nothing, I just almost got Near _killed,he thought bitterly, directing all of the bitterness at himself. _...I've got to get a grip, though. Mello's in charge now, s-so it's okay...relax,_ he told himself, taking several deep, shuddery breaths and trying to get the tears under control.

This was silly; Near had gone through so much, and hadn't so much as said that he was scared, and here he was, falling apart when the worst thing he'd done in the past few days was to write the wrong thing on a piece of paper. _But, just that one little thing almost cost Near his life..._ Mello didn't know anything about that, though—to him, it must look Matt was having some sort of emotional breakdown.

Suddenly self-conscious, he awkwardly pulled away from the hug and scrubbed at his eyes, sniffling, "S...s-sorry, um..." He wasn't sure what to add to the apology, so instead trailed off, trying not to focus on how he felt like sinking through the floor right now.

_Am I really this pathetic?_

"It's fine," Mello answered somewhat warily, watching him with a bemused look on his face. Without breaking the wide-eyed stare, he brought the chocolate bar to his mouth and snapped off a piece, cocking his head. "Matt....L sent me back since the case is pretty much solved over there. He said Near's staying here in a room, so...what are you doing sitting out in the hallway?"

_Because I almost _killed_ him. _Matt resisted the urge to burst into tears all over again, saying somewhat hoarsely, "Th-they moved him to Intensive Care."

"What?" If Mello didn't have a tendency to grit his teeth, the piece of chocolate he'd bitten off would probably have dropped right out of his mouth. "Why in hell would they do _that_ over an appendectomy?"

Matt focused on the toes of his boots—and trying not to let any more tears make them blurry—explaining quietly, "'C-cause I wrote the wrong thing...on the paperwork." He bit his lip. _Don't you dare start crying again...the least you can manage is to explain what's going on. Then, Mello can be in charge...and he'll know what to do, because he'll know what happened._ He didn't stop to think that maybe Mello wouldn't know what the right thing to do was...Mello always told him what to do, and if he did as he was told, usually things turned out okay.

That was how it had always been. That was how, thank god, it was again now that he wasn't in charge anymore.

* * *

Mello wasn't sure what to make of the situation. From what he could tell, Near had had some kind of complication and had been moved to Intensive Care, and Matt for some stupid reason was blaming himself for the white-haired boy's health problems...

_Damned Near,_ he thought, looking at poor Matt, who stood there with his head bowed and arms wrapped tightly around himself. _I don't care what Matt says, there's no way this can be his fault. If anything, the doctors aren't good enough to avoid complications!_

"...Okay," he said as evenly as he could, trying not to let the irritation in his thoughts leak into his voice. _If I sound mad, he'll just think I'm mad at him. Matt's always been like that..._

That was why Matt was one of the very few people that Mello made a point of speaking to nicely. Him, and L of course. When they were kids, Mello had once lost his temper and yelled at Matt, and the resulting tears and self-hate had ensured that he never made that mistake again. _He's laid-back, but he takes it really hard when he doesn't live up to other people's expectations..._

That must have been what was going on now, he realized. _Oh...Matt, you idiot,_ he thought half-heartedly, patting his friend's shoulder. _You're kicking yourself for Near being sick, even though it's not your fault! You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for, but...this's just stupid. Come on, how is this your fault?_

Matt looked up at him, and now his eyes were full of weariness instead of tears. He didn't say anything, just looked.

_He's looks...really tired. What the hell? I leave for a few days, and he ends up a mess?!_

Mello blinked, "How long since you got some sleep, Matt?"

"...Awhile," the redhead admitted flatly. It seemed that crying had drained him; he looked more tired than anything now. He swiped at his eyes again, mumbling, "C-can't sleep now, though...gotta be awake w-when Near wakes up."

"If he gets to sleep, it's not too much to ask for you to sleep, too," the blonde growled, irritated again at Near simply for being the reason Matt was so worried. For once he couldn't actually blame the white-haired boy for any of his actions, but slipping into the familiar pattern of directing anger at him was easier than trying to decide who was actually responsible for Matt's state.

Unfortunately, the most likely culprit was Matt himself.

As he'd expected earlier, Matt seemed to cringe at his angry tone of voice. _Dammit...stupid Near! If it wasn't for thinking about _you_, I wouldn't have talked like that and he wouldn't think I was mad at him!_ The blonde switched to growling inwardly, chomping on the edge of his chocolate bar to keep from scowling too noticably.

"Y-you're gonna stay, right?" The redhead asked in a small voice; he seemed afraid to look Mello in the eye.

"Huh? Of course," the blonde blinked, surprised at the question. "L's just finishing things up—he told me to go make sure you and Near are okay. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Matt nodded, taking a few more deep breathes. _Okay...it's okay, stop acting like such a crybaby,_ he chided himself, looking at the floor.

"Mr. Kennedy, there you are!" Blinking, he looked up quickly at the sound of a female voice. A nurse was heading toward the two of them down the hallway.

"Mr. Kennedy?" Mello asked, staring at her weirdly and snapping off another chunk of his chocolate bar.

"Yes, this young man here," the woman nodded at Matt, looking sympathetic.

It must be obvious that he had been crying recently, the redhead thought self-consciously, asking, "Wh-what is it? Is Near awake?"

"Yes, that's exactly it," The nurse nodded. "He's asking for you, Mr. Kennedy. He's very weak at the moment, but you should probably go visit him while he's conscious..."

_He's awake. _Matt realized suddenly that if he talked to Near, he would have to face up to his mistake. _Wh-what could I possibly say to apologize for this...?_ He hesitated, unsure how to answer the nurse.

"I-I..."

"We'll visit him," Mello interrupted, frowning. "I have a few things I'd like to say to him, anyway."

The nurse blinked, no doubt wondering who the punky-looking blonde with the chocolate was, but only said, "P-please follow me, then." Turning, she headed back down the hallway the way she had come. Mello immediately trailed after her, chomping on his chocolate and looking irritated again. _I wonder if he's mad at me..._

Knowing he had no choice, the redhead followed his friend. The least he could do was to apologize to Near for what had happened.

He owed him that much.

--End Chapter 8

* * *

AN: And so we have Mello! (Smile) Although, I think Matt freaked him out a bit...LOL. I'm crossing my fingers that I did his awesome personality justice. (A tough thing, since my first scene with him tosses him into a situation he never encountered in the canon.) What do you guys think?

Chapter 7's title is probably pretty obvious now, huh? Near's sudden unconsciousness and the chapter's sudden ending both count, as well as Near suddenly feeling tired, Matt's sudden interruption of his thoughts when Dr. Lidner arrived, and also suddenly feeling useless a little later. I try to name the chapters things that hint at what will happen, but that don't spoil anything.

For this chapter, "break" stood for both Matt's break from being the one to care for Near and his breakDOWN when he meets up with Mello again and finally doesn't have to be the one in charge. Poor Matt, he's used to following, not leading, so this whole situation really stressed him out...

The end of chapter 7 seems to have upset some people...I don't know if I should be happy that my writing must be good enough to pull you in THAT much, or if I should feel bad for all the upset. (Sweatdrop) I do apologize if I freaked you out—don't worry, I may be mean enough to write cliffhangers, but I'm not mean enough to kill off Near. I am far too fond of him to do that, and besides, think of how much poor Matt would kick himself then...

These author's notes seem to be getting longer and longer... (Sweatdrop) Oya. Oh, well—I'm sure those who don't want to read them skip them entirely, anyway. :) Oh! One more thing...as of this chapter, this story is now over 20,000 words long. Wowee!

See you all in chapter 9!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 8**

Akugi #29

Narrator: Numb was the word his mind had been struggling for since he woke up.

Near: _I feel dumb...I mean...numb._ ; _Actually, having to struggle to think of a word in my native language makes me feel pretty dumb, so that, too._

Akugi #30

Narrator: Slam. Whoosh. More shivering.

Matt: (Twitch) "What is this, the indoor equivalent of a rainy angst scene?! Do I have to be cold on top of everything else?! Don't you think I already feel bad _enough_?!"

Threshie: (Shifty eyes) "Maaaaybe....to all of the above."

Akugi #31

Narrator: ...as far as he knew none of them could have happened, as they typically involved _him_ being there and being a jerk.

Mello: (Thinks back) _Let's see, there was the time I deleted all of his save files, the time I got all of his cigarettes wet, the time I hid all of his clothes and left a pair of "Video games make my brain atrophy" boxers laying around as the only option...wow, I'm mean._ O_o _I wonder if this could be my fault subconsciously?_

Akugi #32

Nurse: "Mr. Kennedy, there you are!"

Mello: "Mr. Kennedy?" (Stares at her weirdly) "You mean MEESTER Kennedy, right?"

Nurse: "...Uh..." (Glances at Matt)

Matt: "Finally! Somebody who knows how to pronounce it right!"

Mello: (Smug look at nurse)

Nurse: (Sweatdrop) "But that's the salutation, not the actual _name..._"

Matt: "It's only my name if you say the _whole_ thing right! 'Meester Kennedy' is here--if you're looking for 'Mister Kennedy', you've got the wrong guy."

Nurse: "..."


	9. Bad

**In Charge**

**Chapter 9 – Bad**

By Threshie

AN: Writing Mello's character is too fun to be called work...ironic, since I DO have to work at it to make him believable. LOL; now I want to write another fic sometime that has him in it a lot more, because he's that much fun.

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

The ICU was a much more comfortable temperature than the chilly hallway has been, but Matt still felt cold when he went inside. _Everybody here looks like they're ready to die,_ he thought uncomfortably, trying not to stare at the frail, silent and sleeping people in beds lining either wall. A lot of them were elderly, and many were plugged into various life-support systems. The equipment made a very low hum, accompanied by the soft chirping chorus of heart monitors, and the occasional hiss of an air pump.

Near was on oxygen, so Matt looked in the direction of the latter sound. The patient in the bed wasn't the white-haired boy, though—it was an old man with deep-set stress lines in his face. He was laying very still, hands curled uselessly by his sides. The air pump slowly pulsed up and down like a large piston beside his bed, forcing air into his lungs through the mask strapped over his nose and mouth. His pale eyes flitted toward Matt as he passed--just for an instant, a passing glance—and the redhead felt a pang of pity.

_Poor guy...he'd die if he took his mask off. I wonder how long he's been here?_ He bit his lip, trying not to imagine Near hooked up to the same kind of device. _He...if he was scared before, then now, being surrounded by all of this stuff...and all by himself..._ He looked away from the unfortunate man, suddenly feeling bad for being reluctant to come here. Near couldn't even breathe on his own, and here the redhead was only thinking of how uncomfortable _he_ would be to talk to him again?

_That's terrible, Matt. Really._

"You can visit with your brother for as long as you'd like." The nurse's soft voice tugged his attention away from the self-deprecating thoughts he was sinking into; he looked at her, then quickly to the bed that she was pointing at. A familiar small form lay there wrapped in a pale blue blanket. Fluffy white hair curled against his face and across the edge of the pillow. A clear oxygen mask was strapped over his nose and mouth, and his eyes were closed.

_Near,_ Matt felt his chest tighten in an unpleasant mix of guilt and pity. _He...looks so weak..._ He also looked like he was sleeping, but Matt knew that he had to talk to him, even if it meant waking him up. He was awake a few minutes ago, so he couldn't be sleeping too deeply._ I have to apologize...and to let him know he's not in here alone._

The redhead sank down to kneel beside the bed, so that his face was eye-level with the smaller boy's, and ventured softly, "Near?"

Behind him, he only barely acknowledged that the nurse quietly slipped away, leaving them alone to talk.

* * *

_Matt...!_ Near opened his eyes at the sound of the familiar voice, glancing to the side. Looking around took a lot of effort at the moment, but he was glad that he did—the redhead was a comforting sight. It was a relief to have someone he knew nearby, albeit such an unhappy-looking someone. _You left me alone, Matt,_ he thought, unable to say it aloud. The oxygen mask was in the way, and besides, when he'd spoken to the nurse before it had been exhausting to even say a few words.

He didn't blame Matt for leaving; watching him sleep couldn't have been very interesting. He just wished that he hadn't had to wake up surrounded by strangers in an unfamiliar room by himself. _He's back now...don't worry,_ he told himself tiredly.

Matt looked tired, too, and sad as he whispered, "H-hey...hang in there, okay?" Near wished he could at least nod, but the best he could do was to keep a steady gaze to match the redhead's. He felt his hair being ruffled; Matt was patting him on the head, he realized with faint amusement. _Do I look so very childish...right now? He keeps patting my head..._ Matt had done this when he had first awakened after his surgery, too...he wasn't sure if it was for his comfort or the redhead's, but it wasn't a gesture he was used to at all.

He actually was feeling considerably better than he had when he first woke up. Now he didn't feel so numb anymore, and if not for a persistent ache in his chest he probably could have sat up. The nurses had made enough of a fuss when he'd yanked the oxygen mask off to tell them to get Matt, though—he doubted they would appreciate it if he tried to move around yet.

_Besides, I have no energy._

It was true—his whole body felt exhausted, like he'd been running until he collapsed or something. _Running...heh._ He never ran, so the metaphor was kind of funny. His mind seemed to be a bit vague and strange right now, but at least his thoughts didn't take a long time to process themselves anymore. That had been extremely frustrating earlier.

Matt was talking to him, he realized. _I...I must have spaced out. _He did his best to focus on the redhead, wondering if he was going to explain what had happened. _It would be nice to know why I am in here._

"Near, I-I'm really sorry," Matt was saying, "This...it's my fault this happened to you, and i-it was a stupid thing I did. I'm sorry..." He truly did look sorry, but Near was confused. _How...could this be his fault?_

* * *

Mello felt strange.

He'd expected to see Near in terrible shape, really he had. He had expected some sort of life support equipment, and for his rival to look unwell. What he hadn't expected was the strange, guilty feeling he was getting when he looked at him.

Near didn't seem to notice that he was there. He was watching Matt with dull, dark eyes, the mask hiding any expression he might be making. Judging by how slowly he had looked up when the redhead first spoke to him, he could barely move, much less talk...

Seeing him like that made Mello feel...bad.

Bad for what, he wasn't sure. But definitely bad.

He didn't like it.

Irritated by his own weird emotions, the blonde focused on chomping on his chocolate bar to try and distract himself. _Stupid Near..._ The thought was half-hearted; what was the point in hating somebody who didn't even know you were there? He'd never seen Near look so sick. _You can tell something's seriously wrong just by _looking_ at him..._

Matt patted the smaller boy's pale hair very gently, whispering something too quietly for Mello to hear. The gesture surprised the blonde; since when were Matt and Near so close, anyway?

The white-haired boy blinked at whatever had been said, then shakily raised a hand and tugged at the mask on his face.

"Don't...!" Matt exclaimed, startled, but before he could stop him, Near had tugged the mask down below his chin.

He let his arm fall limp across his chest, too tired to hold it up anymore, and frowned, saying faintly, "Y..._you_ don't."

Having missed the first part of the conversation, Mello blinked, snapped off another piece of chocolate and blinked again. _Obviously he can breathe without that damned thing...why are they still making him wear it? Stupid doctors—making a fuss over nothing just makes Matt feel worse, you jackasses...!_

* * *

Matt wasn't sure what to do. _Doesn't he need to wear that? I-is it okay for him to take it off...?_

"Don't what?" He asked, leaning closer to hear what Near was saying. He sounded very quiet and slightly raspy at the moment.

The white-haired boy let his eyes fall closed, drawing a shallow breath. He seemed to be mustering up the strength to reply.

"Apologize. Don't."

Seeing as he already had a moment ago, Matt wasn't sure what to say. _You mean you're going to forgive me? Just like that...? That's...too easy. I don't deserve it..._ His heart felt heavy again.

"Sorry," he said quietly, looking down at his left hand, which was resting on the edge of the bed. The other was still resting lightly on Near's hair. "I...don't know what else to do."

The smaller boy fell silent again, looking tiredly at the ceiling.

"Wh...what happened?" He asked shakily.

_He's looks so tired...he shouldn't talking,_ Matt thought worriedly, but explained, "The medication they gave you after the surgery caused an allergic reaction. You stopped breathing from it...s-so they put you in here on oxygen 'til the medicine's out of your system. Dr. Lidner says you're gonna be okay, though."

He tried to smile, but couldn't quite make himself do it. He still felt too guilty...the apology didn't seem to have helped anything at all. _It's still my fault, even if he tells me it's okay with him...how can somebody be "okay" with almost dying? How can he just brush off being stuck in here and strapped into all of this stuff...? I even let him wake up in here alone!_

Even if Near _did_ somehow forgive him, he just couldn't forgive himself.

"That's not your fault!" He jumped at the sudden loud protest from behind him, remembering just then that Mello was there, too. Glancing back, he saw the the blonde had finished his chocolate bar and was now crumpling the wrapper in one gloved fist angrily.

* * *

"You said it was _your_ fault Near ended up almost dying," Mello said pointedly, "But how the hell are you responsible for an allergic reaction?" _This is it? This is what you were in _tears_ over?!_

"On the paperwork I wrote that he didn't have any allergies," the redhead answered heavily, cringing a bit at the angry tone of voice.

"As far as you knew, he didn't," the blonde pointed out, wishing he'd brought another chocolate bar in with him. He didn't mean to yell at Matt, but this didn't make any sense—from what he was hearing, the only thing at fault was Near's health.

The redhead lowered his gaze to the floor, brows furrowing unhappily. "B-but, maybe if I'd said that he had one, they would've been more careful about what they gave him."

"That's...stupid!" Mello growled, waving the fist with the chocolate wrapper in it emphatically, "You might have written the wrong one and gotten the same results. So you wrote something you thought was true and it turned out that it wasn't—that doesn't make it your fault. You didn't even know he _had_ some stupid allergy!"

"But he still did!" Matt stood, turning to face him. His voice had risen to match the blonde's, but unlike Mello's there was no anger behind it. "He still almost _died_ from it, okay?! Th-that's my fault, whether I knew it was gonna happen or not!"

_What the hell...? _ Mello involuntarily took a step backward, eyes widening. _He believes this so much he's getting in a fight with me over it?_ That was pretty startling. Even when he thought his side was right, Matt had always backed down from arguments with Mello...because he seemed afraid that if his best friend was mad at him, they wouldn't be friends anymore. _Well, I've got news for him—I'm going to win this argument _because_ I'm his friend. No way am I gonna let him sit and blame himself for something so stupid!_

"If _I_ did the paperwork, I would've written the same thing you did," he pointed out, taking a deep breath and trying to force the anger out of his voice. Shouting at Matt never worked—all it did was make him feel bad when the redhead cringed away like he was somehow being abusive. _How would L handle this? Definitely not like I'm doing..._

"Then it would've been your fault," Matt said sadly, looking down at the toes of his boots. Like Mello, he had regained some composure in the brief moment of silence between them. He sighed, "Look...I-I just feel responsible, okay? I was supposed to take care of him...I promised L, and myself." He looked down at Near, who was watching the verbal battle with sleepy bemusement.

"I'm sure you took care of him as well as you could," Mello crossed his arms, frowning down at Near, too. There went that twinge of...something bad...again when he looked at the white-haired boy. He gritted his teeth, wishing again for chocolate, and hurriedly looked back at Matt.

The redhead stood there with his arms hanging at his sides, staring at him again with those vivid blue eyes. He looked tired and depressed; the energy had left him with the words he'd shouted a moment ago. _I wonder if my yelling hurt his feelings? He's so busy blaming himself that he doesn't even seem to notice..._

"...I agree."

* * *

Near thought for sure that he would be too quiet to hear, but apparently that wasn't the case—Matt and Mello both turned to stare at him so fast that he felt a bit intimidated. _As if I've never agreed with Mello before...he just insists on disagreeing with me,_ he thought sleepily, mustering up his strength again to murmur, "Matt took very good care...of me. I...I agree with Mello."

He still wasn't sure how Mello was even there, but judging from the noisy argument he and Matt were having, the two of them had had a chance to talk for awhile before coming to visit him.

The blonde stared at him incredulously, like he couldn't decide whether to nod and prove to Matt that it couldn't possibly be his fault or to be offended that Near was taking his side in the first place. _As if my agreement makes it the wrong side suddenly. Mello, you'll never change..._

"I will be all right," he pointed out, meeting Matt's eyes. "Forget...if it was anyone's fault. It's done." _Stop it, Matt. Unless you're determined to hate yourself, this doesn't accomplish anything useful at all._

* * *

Matt understood was he was trying to say. _He could have died...but he didn't. That's what matters. Near doesn't just forgive me, he doesn't even think it was ever my fault! _If Near couldn't blame him, blaming himself seemed kind of pathetic.

He suddenly felt very aware of the fact that the other two boys were watching him.

Worriedly.

Concern was practically written on Mello's face, despite the irritated expression that lingered there, and Near's eyes...his face was calm, as usual, but his eyes were brighter than they had been a moment before. Concerned.

_Look at this...Near's tired, Mello just got back, and here I am making a scene over...nothing. They don't deserve this..._

Matt came back over to kneel down by the bed, sighing.

"I'm sorry, Near. I...I guess you're right." He glanced back at Mello, "Y-you too, Mell...you're right. I'm being stupid, I guess...I'm sorry I yelled at you."

The blonde rolled his eyes, "That barely even counted as yelling."

Matt couldn't help but smile at that. _That's how he says he's sorry, too,_ he thought knowingly. Mello had never been good at the making up part of arguments; they usually just considered things to be settled when everybody started acting normal again.

"...Near," he turned back to the white-haired boy, who was looking decidedly exhausted again, "Is there anything we can do to help make you more comfortable?" _It's the least I can do..._

Near glanced at him, blinking, and was silent for a moment.

"...My dinosaur," he said finally, looking down at the hand that still rested across his chest. He curled his fingers into a loose fist, but didn't attempt to move his arm. _Is he too __tired to...?_

"I'll get him for you," Matt smiled, ruffling the smaller boy's hair again. Maybe it was because he was so tired, but Near didn't seem to mind as much as the first time he had done it.

He closed his eyes and murmured, "Thank you."

So that was it, then.

It was over just like that.

_I'm not sure they understand why I blamed myself in the first place...but I guess Near's right. It doesn't help anything._ _I'll just...do better from now on._ Now that Mello was there, he was in charge, but Matt doubted he wanted to take over watching over and caring for Near. _No, it'll probably still be me. I'll do my best._

That was the best he could do. It wasn't perfect, but, then, he wasn't perfect. _That's why I'm only number three._

* * *

"Did you tell L about this whole allergic reaction thing yet?" Mello asked, wondering vaguely why Near was talking about dinosaurs. _Right...probably some toy. This _is_ Near we're talking about..._

"No, I, um..." Matt fidgeted, trailing off into embarrassed mumbling and looking down at the floor.

_He must have been too busy kicking himself for Near's stupid allergies,_ the blonde assessed correctly, frowning.

"Okay. You go get the dinosaur, or whatever, and call him while you're at it. I'll watch Near." _I've got a few things to say to him that you don't really need to hear..._

Sitting up, the redhead glanced at him a bit warily.

"You will, huh..."

Mello blinked, "Yes, I will. Is there some problem here?"

Matt sighed and stood. "No..." Turning, he smiled down at Near a bit uneasily, "Take it easy, okay? I'll be right back."

_It's like he doesn't trust me to be left alone with him or something,_ Mello thought, slightly irritated by this behavior.

"Matt, Near won't shrivel up and die if you're gone for awhile!" He came over to stand beside the bed, waving the poor crumpled chocolate wrapper in the white-haired boy's general direction, "What, do you think I'm not up to sitting here and watching him?"

"It's not that..." Matt glanced at Near, who looked unimpressed by Mello's words, and sweatdropped. "Y-you offered to stay with him too easily. It makes me wonder why."

_...Damn it, this is the _problem_ with having a best friend! He knows me too well..._ The blonde shot him a look of amusement, switching to a more persuasive tone.

"Honestly, Matt. I hate Near, but I want to beat him at doing what L does, not beat him _up_. And even if I did, I'm not low enough to beat up somebody who can barely move. What do you take me for, anyway?"

"...It's okay, Matt," Near joined the conversation, sounding very deadpan. Mello carefully made it a point not to look at him. If he looked at him, he might get that bad feeling again. _What's with that, anyway? _He didn't like it at all.

"Okay, fine. I'll go," Matt sighed, holding up both hands, "If you two are gonna team up on me, what else can I do? Mell, he's really tired—be nice, okay?" Before the blonde could reply, he had made a beeline for the door; he seemed to hurry especially past the old man with the air pump near the door.

_The last few days must have been pretty hard on him,_ Mello thought, frowning after his friend's retreating form. _He agreed a bit too quickly to give up with all of that blaming himself..._

Oh, well. It was a start.

He turned to Near, smirking.

"Now _we_ get to have a little chat."

--End Chapter 9

* * *

AN: Apparently Near can make Mello mad even when he's almost too weak to move... (Sweatdrops and shrugs) This chapter's title refers to Matt's self-blaming tendencies being bad as well as the fact that he feels bad for what happened to Near. It also refers to Mello feeling bad when he looks at Near in his current condition (and his dislike of feeling bad...LOL), and as a nod in general to the "bad" tone finally lightening up toward the end of the chapter.

More Mello and Near interaction next chapter...not necessarily _good_ interaction, but they'll definitely be interacting. (Sweatdrop) Thank you very much for all of the reviews on the last chapter—I was so happy that that one chapter received 5 reviews. Each and every review encourages me and keeps me writing--thank you! (Hugs you all) Don't worry, the next chapter won't be full of Matt-angst like this one and the last one. He had a kind of rough time for awhile, there, but now that Mello's here he feels a lot better. :)

See you in Chapter 10!

-Threshie

* * *

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_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 9**

Akugi #33

Narrator: Mello felt strange.

Mello: _Blehh...I think that last chocolate bar was laced with something..._

Akugi #34

Near: (Pulls oxygen mask off)

Matt: "Don't...!"

Near: "...." x.x

Matt: T_T

Mello: (Sweatdrop)

Akugi #35

Matt: "But he still did!" (Gets up, now yelling as well) "He still almost _died_ from it, okay?! Th-that's my fault, whether I knew it was gonna happen or not!"

Mello: _What the hell..._? (Sweatdrops and tries to come up with a retort to that) "....Well, er...." (Throws chocolate wrapper ball, which bounces off of Matt's head) "...So _there_!"

Akugi #36

Mello: "Okay. You go get the dinosaur, or whatever, and call him while you're at it. I'll watch Near."

Matt: "No way."

Mello: T_T "D-don't you _trust_ me...?"

Matt: (Gulp) "Okay, okay! I'm going--take good care of Near!" (Runs for hallway, utterly susceptible to guilt-trips)

Mello: (Evil grin at Near)

Near: "..." _Matt, you aren't such a good guardian after all..._


	10. Lies

**In Charge**

**Chapter 10 – Lies**

By Threshie

AN: In which Mello and Near have a little chat, and for once Near can't pull his verbal domination tactics... I guess it's only fair that Mello doesn't get to have any chocolate for this scene, either. LOL.

I'm beginning to think my portrayals of these guys have a bit of psychosis to them. (Sweatdrop) They definitely live up to the title of the fic. Being "in charge" doesn't just mean being the one who tells the others what to do in this fic. To Matt, Mello and Near, being "in charge" is acting as L while he's not there. To be "in charge" permanently is to BE L, and is what each of them dreams of doing someday. That's their thought process.

Thinking about the above explains a lot about what's written below. :)

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Near wondered why the blonde had bothered to smirk at all. Almost as soon as Mello looked at him, his expression changed to a troubled frown. _A "little chat"...well, I can't exactly refuse._

He sighed, asking faintly, "About...?" It could only be about Matt or L, he figured. What else would Mello have to talk to him about? Obviously an argument was coming. He didn't have any energy to fight with Mello right now, so pure willpower would have to do. _If I just ignore him, he'll assume that I have no good reply..._ Even as tired as he was, he refused to let that happen—to lose a fight not because he lacked the ability to win, but because he lacked the energy to speak, seemed rather unfair.

He was bracing himself for at least a verbal attack...so it was a bit startling when the blonde knelt beside the bed, reached a hand out, and patted his hair just as gently as Matt had done. _What...what are you doing?_

"Since when are you and Matt so _chummy_?" The blonde spoke quietly but darkly, eyes narrowing. _So that is what this is about..._ Near tried to ignore the gloved hand still resting atop his head, suddenly realizing how weak he really was. _I suppose, if he were a more hateful person...he could do whatever he wanted to me. I certainly couldn't do anything about it. _He wasn't afraid, though. Actually, he trusted Mello more than the majority of people he had ever met._ He won't hurt me._

He understood; Mello was only patting his head to point out that that was what he didn't like Matt doing. Even knowing that, it seemed very odd for the blonde to do anything so gently, especially toward him of all people.

"Matt is a good person" Near said, choosing his words carefully. Mello seemed to have about as much patience as he had energy at the moment; he hadn't seen him shout at Matt like that in a very long time. _He kind of deserved it this time, though—it's foolish to blame yourself for someone's allergies._

"That's it?" Mello's blue eyes looked icy; it had always seemed strange to Near, how they could seem darker or lighter depending on his mood. Right now they looked pale...stark. It was a piercing kind of stare.

"He's nicer...when you're not here," Near concluded tiredly, wishing he could sit up. Looking up at Mello made him feel small, like he was losing ground before the conversation even really began. _Patting my head like I am a child doesn't help that feeling. I don't mind when Matt does it, but you mean it condescendingly, Mello._

"Hmph!" The blonde sat up abruptly, thankfully withdrawing his hand from Near's hair in the process. _Thank you... "_So you guys are friends now?" He said bluntly, scowling.

Near blinked. _Friends? We barely know each other..._

He and Matt hadn't bothered to get to know each other before this whole incident. Both were anti-social by nature, and each always absorbed in their own tasks, so if not for Near's medical emergency, they probably wouldn't have ever talked to each other as much as they had in the past few days. It was true that he had learned a lot about how Matt dealt with people in the short time, but that didn't mean that they were best friends suddenly or anything. _Not like him and Mello._

Near had never understood why the two of them were so close. He never really felt the need for companionship, especially not from someone who wanted to talk all the time...but, having Matt around had been infinitely more pleasant than being stuck in the hospital room alone. _And he's quiet enough that he didn't bother me. Hmm._

He looked at Mello thoughtfully, ignoring the impatience on the blonde's face at how long he was taking to reply. _I wonder if Matt takes care of Mello...or the other way around? Matt seems to do things for him a lot, as he has done for me these past few days, but...without Mello he seems very unsure of himself._

A growl brought his attention back to the present.

"Don't ignore me!" Mello glared, clenching both hands into fists. "Are you two _friends_ or what?! Matt doesn't act that way toward just anybody, you know!"

_He doesn't?_ Near hadn't ever bothered to watch how Matt acted before this week. He'd only really done so this week because, being bedridden, he had nothing better to do. _This is foolish...does Mello honestly think that I am trying to take Matt's friendship from him? As if a few days could override years of him being Mello's best friend..._ He had to admit that Matt had been very nice to him, though. _He did everything he could to make sure that I was comfortable...but..._

No, it wouldn't work. Even if he wanted to be friends with Matt, with Mello around that would only create conflict for the redhead. _There is no way that Mello and I would start to get along suddenly—he hates me. For Matt's sake, I had best just stop this before it becomes something troublesome..._

"No." He said it flatly, coldly. Truth be told, it took too much energy to put emotion behind it...and he wasn't sure which emotion he would have used, anyway. Was he supposed to sound like he cared if Mello was jumping to conclusions? He glanced up at the angry boy by the bed and added glumly, "He is kind. That's all."

_Do you understand, Mello? No matter how it looks, we aren't really friends—we can't be friends. He is only being so kind to me because I am sick. _That was the truth, he told himself, determined to believe it. Matt was Mello's friend—befriending Mello's rival wouldn't go over well with him, so Matt wouldn't do something like that. It might have seemed like he actually cared what happened to Near, but... _He's a kind person, so he feels sorry for me. Or perhaps he only took such good care of me because he told L that he would. It isn't friendship. I don't have friends._

That was how it had always been; just like Mello and Matt had always been best friends, Near would always have no one. He was resigned to that fact.

* * *

Kind.

Mello opened his mouth to protest, then shut it again. _No, he's right about that--Matt's a good guy. ...But that's not the problem, here!_

"Kindness has nothing to do with this," he said, frowning at the white-haired boy on the bed. Near didn't look back. His eyes were closed again, and he was breathing shallowly. Feeling that same twinge of some bad feeling squeeze at his heart, the blonde boy gritted his teeth, irritated at himself. _Why? Why the hell do I care if _he's_ suffering, anyway!?_ As many times as he'd wished misfortune on Near over the years, seeing him like this held no victory. It only made him feel...hollow.

Perhaps that was because Mello had considered Near his rival for as long as he could remember. And as such, Near was always up to a confrontation with him. That was how it had always been...so, with Near unable to fight back and be his usual damned annoying self, all was not right in the world.

_God, I'm twisted,_ he thought, disgusted. Denial didn't help, and obviously shouting at Near didn't either, or he'd be feeling better by now.

"Mello..." He directed his attention back to the owner of the small, faint voice. "M-Matt...isn't my friend." Mello stared at him. _That's it? You're not even going to argue with me about it...?_ He felt a bit miffed at that. And not just for him, but for Matt, too! _What is he, not _good_ enough to be friends with you? Do you even realize what a great friend you're denouncing like this?_

"...However," Near whispered, frowning slightly with his eyes still closed, "I-it was...nice...to borrow his friendship, if only for...for a little while."

Mello frowned, too, unhappily. There went the bad feeling again...guilt, maybe? _No,_ he thought instantly, _I'm_ not_ guilty!_ He refused to feel guilty about accusing Near of things when speaking was obviously difficult for him. Since he already felt something, the best he could do at this point was to just refuse to name it...yes, just calling it the "bad feeling" would suffice, that way he didn't have to own up to it.

It didn't make sense, but it made him feel better, so he didn't care.

"Yeah, well..." He fidgeted, wishing like hell that he had some chocolate to distract himself with, "I'm back, so now the little _loan_ is off, got it?" _Like Matt could be loaned back and forth, anyway! He's not an object, dammit..._

"I..." Near's mouth curled into a ghost of the familiar infuriating smirk he got when he had the upper hand in an argument. "I expected that. I-it's all right..."

* * *

He was lying, of course.

_If Matt leaves, I'll be alone again._ He didn't like that at all. Matt was going to slip back into his usual pattern of accompanying Mello everywhere, and when he did, the last place that Mello would want to be was here with Near...so, he would end up alone.

_I'm scared._

Yes, he could admit it to himself now—after all that had happened this week, being moved from room to room and bed to bed by complete strangers, dressed and undressed by them, cut and stitched up by them, he was finally ready to admit that he was scared. Soon to be scared and alone, at the rate that things were going...

Mello was talking to him again...he sounded alarmed, but Near just couldn't muster up the strength to find out what there was to be alarmed about. Everything seemed blurry and muffled...his eyes fell closed, heavily, and refused to open again.

_I'm scared._

His voice sounded distant even in his head...

He felt something being pressed over his face, noticed the brief scent of leather, and then everything was fading...

_I..._

* * *

Mello could feel his heart pounding, as he watched Near slip out of consciousness. It was normal for the white-haired boy to be silent, and he hadn't said anything for Near to reply to, so he hadn't noticed anything was amiss until he'd tried to talk to him again. After shouting didn't so much as yield a glance from his rival, he had assessed that there was actually something wrong and had slipped the oxygen mask back over the smaller boy's nose and mouth. That should have helped, right?

It didn't seem to have any effect, though. Near didn't open his eyes again. He didn't wake up.

A quick look at the vital signs on the monitoring equipment showed that his heartbeat was still there, if a big sluggish, and that he was breathing.

Watching uneasily as the white-haired boy's chest rose and fell in a slow, shallow rhythm, Mello wondered again why that bad feeling in his chest refused to go away. It wasn't like this was _his_ fault...nevermind the fact that Near was exhausted, and talking as much as he just had probably hadn't been good for him. As far as Mello would tell, he had just run out of energy and fallen asleep in the middle of their conversation. _Stupid Near...you shouldn't push yourself so much, you..._

He scowled, dismissing the thought half-finished, and snagged a chair from beside somebody else's bed, dragging it over next to Near's and plunking down on it in one motion. _I hate this. I feel weird! To hate somebody this....this...._ Pathetic? No, there went the twinge in his chest again.

...Vulnerable?

_No, make that _defenseless—_he's completely defenseless, so hating him right now just makes me feel like a jerk. I can't _not_ hate him, though..._ He glanced down at Near, who lay very still and silent, and bit his lip. Hate sure didn't feel like what he was feeling right now. Hate felt satisfying, like he was in the right. Now he just felt...bad. He couldn't seem to look at the small person on the bed and _not_ feel bad. Even when arguing with him, he'd had to hide his discomfort at even looking at Near like this.

_I need chocolate, _he thought wearily, propping his chin against one fist. There was probably a vending machine somewhere in the hallway that sold chocolate of some variety... It wouldn't be his favorite brand, but it would be chocolate, and at the moment he didn't care about much else.

_I told Matt I would stay here with Near while he was gone, though._ He glanced at the white-haired boy and scowled. _Dammit! I should have told him to _bring_ me some!_ If Near were up to it, he was sure he would have pointed out that not making such a request while he had the chance had been really stupid. That didn't exactly help him feel any better.

_He's unconscious...if I left and came back, he wouldn't even know._ Matt would know if he came back while the blonde was gone, though...and he had already been gone for awhile._Unless he wants to sit and catch up with L on the phone, making the call and picking up some toy dinosaur from Near's room can't take too much longer._

No, leaving at this point would be foolish. If Matt would be back soon anyway, he could wait just a little longer for chocolate, he decided (albeit bitterly.) He could go get some _good_ chocolate from his motorcycle, even. _I'll use that as an excuse to escape this room when Matt gets back,_ he decided.

Crossing his arms, he focused on the blue blanket on the bed instead of the small person wrapped up in it, and waited.

* * *

Matt was waiting, too. He cradled the phone against his ear with his shoulder, the dinosaur held in the crook of one arm and both hands full of little green army men, and listened to it ring. L was taking a long time to pick up.

The redhead scanned the hallway, now cast in comforting and familiar golden hues. He'd retrieved his goggles from the room along with the toys, and felt a little less easy to read with them on again. _Maybe that's why I felt like I didn't want Mello to see me when I was upset—my eyes weren't covered up, so he could just look right into them. Eheh...nah, on second thought, that's a pretty silly concept._ More likely he'd been extra-stressed from nicotine withdrawal... _Ugh...now that I have time, I don't have any smokes on me. Go figure._

"Hello...?" He jumped at the voice murmuring in his ear, reminded abruptly that he was in the middle of making a phone call.

"L?" He asked, even though he knew that was who it was. Nobody else sounded quite like L did.

"Matt?" The detective mimicked in return, sounding amused. "It's nice to hear from you—has Mello arrived yet? He left here late last night, you know."

"Um...yeah, he's already here. He's watching Near so I can call you," Matt explained, feeling uneasy all over again. If telling L that Near was in the hospital had made him feel like he was admitting to doing something wrong, he _really_ felt that way now that he had to explain about the allergic reaction and Intensive Care visit...

_Maybe...hmm._

"Hey, L," he ventured, "Does Near have any allergies? To medication or anything?"

"Not that I'm aware of..." That tone of voice brought to mind the image of L with a look of wide-eyed curiosity on his face. "Why, do the doctors think that he might?"

_So, even if L did the paperwork, he would've written the same thing as me._ That made him feel a lot better. L never made mistakes. If L would have done the same thing in that situation, then he had done the right thing himself.

Feeling braver, Matt took a deep breath and explained, "Actually, he does. He had a reaction to some of the stuff they gave him."

"...Is he all right?" L sounded troubled now. _I didn't mean to worry him...I'd better explain._

"Yeah, he's gonna be okay, don't worry," the redhead explained quickly, shifting slightly to squeeze the dinosaur more tightly with his elbow; it had been slipping down out from under his arm. "They took him to Intensive Care, though, and put him on oxygen for awhile. I just talked to him, he's okay, really."

Recalling the conversation in the ICU kind of made him cringe—he'd shouted at Mello! Him, Matt, the quiet guy who usually just did whatever his best friend said and was happy doing so... _And I thought I was right, too. Sometimes I can really be an idiot._

"I'm glad to hear that," L said after a long moment. There was the sound of something shifting from the other end of the phone. Rustling—papers? That's what it sounded like, anyway... "Has anything else noteable happened since your last call?"

_Let's see...cried, freaked out Mello, apologized to Near for something stupid, got in a fight with Mello for the same something stupid...and left Near alone with Mello, which still feels like something _incredibly_ stupid to do._

"Nope," he said brightly, trying not to sound as embarrassed as he felt at the barrage of awkward memories, "Nothing 'noteable', anyway." _I'd better get back there quick..._ He doubted that Mello would hurt Near, but he had obviously been up to something. There was no way that Mello would actually volunteer to stay with Near otherwise...

_Maybe I'm being too suspicious. Maybe, with the mess I've been since he got back, he decided to take pity on me and let me not take care of Near for a little while. _He sweatdropped, _So, he sent me on errands to tell me to rest. That does sound like Mello's logic, actually._ Going to get the dinosaur and make the phone call _had_ gotten him away from the ICU, which was the thing that had been bothering him the most besides the fact that Near was in there.

_And look at me, thinking he's up to something instead of being thankful._ He shook his head, sighing. _I've gotta stop jumping to conclusions. Poor Mell...I didn't mean it. You're just trying to think of me..._

"...Matt?" He blinked, hearing L's voice. _Oh...I'm still on the phone!_ "Are you still there?" The detective asked a bit skeptically. _He's probably holding his phone at arm's length and looking at it..._ He smiled. That seemed like just the kind of thing that L would do.

"Yeah, I'm still here," he said sheepishly. "Sorry, um...I-I was thinking. I've gotta get back to Near and Mello, actually."

"If it's so important that you are spacing out thinking about it, then yes, you should." L sounded amused again. "Please take good care of Near until I return—Mello will help you. I should be able to leave tomorrow morning, so I will arrive sometime during the evening."

"Okay," Matt nodded, glancing down at the dinosaur with a sweatdrop. It was trying to slip out from under his arm again... He turned one handful of green army men upside-down on top of the other, heaping them all into one hand, and tried to retrieve the dinosaur before it escaped completely. It was hanging from the crook of his arm by its neck at the moment...

"Thank you for keeping me informed. I'll see you all soon." L hung up promptly after saying this last, and the redhead thankfully dropped the receiver and grabbed the dinosaur.

"You're kind of annoying," he told the plastic beast, before sighing and shoving it under his arm again. He then returned the phone to its receiver and headed for the ICU again. About halfway there, he came across a vending machine. _God, how long since I ate anything, anyway?_ He blinked, pausing to consider the brightly-wrapped foods through the glass. His reflection looked tiredly back at him, red hair mussed, stripey shirt rumpled, and eyes safely hidden behind the goggles again.

The nurses had brought him some food the first few days that they had been there, but he'd pretty much ignored it...and after the whole allergic reaction upset, he had been far too distracted to even think of food. _The funny thing is, I don't really feel hungry now, either..._ There were several kinds of chocolate bars included in the machine's inventory, though. Recalling Mello's mangling of the poor chocolate wrapper before, the redhead realized that he hadn't brought more than one bar along.

_Hmm. I could get him some chocolate..._ He knelt, heaping the dinosaur and the small army of green men together on the floor, and rummaged in the pockets of his jeans for change. None of the chocolate bars behind the glass were Mello's favorite brand, but that was because it was imported. _Doesn't matter...he'd rather have this than nothing, I'm pretty sure._ His pockets yielded a little over a dollar in coins. Shoving several quarters into the machine, he waited until it dropped a candy bar down to the bottom, then reached into the slot and retrieved it.

Now he had to carry chocolate as well as the dinosaur and army men. _Good thing my goggles go on my head, or I would've had to leave them,_ he thought, resorting to shoving the army men into his pants pockets. _Now please, _please_ let me remember to take them out before sitting down..._

Snagging the dinosaur and chocolate, he set out again, feeling a lot better than he had that morning. Mello was there now, Near's condition had stabilized somewhat, L was informed and he felt like he could smile again and mean it. _I knew things would be fine once Mello got back. I'm lousy at being in charge...even though I did my best._ His best just wasn't good enough, apparently. He smiled slightly, shaking his head. _That's why I'll always be number three._

--End Chapter 10

* * *

AN: Matt's self-esteem needs some help... (Sweatdrop) I guess growing up in the shadows of L, Mello AND Near wouldn't exactly help your self-esteem, but it's still kind of sad.

Buying Mello chocolate was Matt's way of apologizing for being so much trouble. With how often Mello refers to his guilt as "the bad feeling" in this chapter, I halfway think I should've named this one "Bad" instead of the last one...

Hope you're still reading and enjoying "In Charge". The story is arcing its way along...hopefully I made the character development believable. Near's starting to realize that he's usually very solitary, now that he has a few days of having Matt as a constant companion to compare his usual lifestyle with.

This chapter's title refers to Near lying about wanting Matt to be his friend, Mello lying to himself about what "the bad feeling" is, and Matt lying to L about whether "anything noteable" happened other than Near's allergic reaction.

I really love character-centric stories that get into the characters' heads, focus on how they feel, and, hopefully, make the reader feel for them while reading. If this fic comes close to that, then I've succeeded. :)

-Threshie

* * *

!-- page { size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } --

_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 10**

Akugi #37

Mello: (Pats Near's hair) "Since when are you and Matt so _chummy_?"

Near: (Sigh) "Since when does everybody pat me on the head...?"

Akugi #38

Mello: "Yeah, well..." (Fidget) "I'm back, so now the little _loan_ is off, got it?"

Near: u.u "After I die, you can have him back."

Mello: "Then you better die quick!"

Near: "About 90 years and he's all yours again." (Smirk)

Akugi #39

Near: _If Matt leaves, I'll be alone again. Unless....hmmm. _(Scheming glance at Mello)

Mello: (Doesn't like that look at all) "...What are you staring at?!"

Near: (Smirk) "Nothing. I'm going to sleep now. (Does so)

Mello: (Growls and puts oxygen mask back on as the script calls for) _I'll get you back for....er....staring at me funny!_

Akugi #40

L: "Has anything else noteable happened since your last call?"

Matt: (Innocently) "Oh, let's see...I found out the secret ingredient in chocolate is bat guano. Let Mello know for me, 'kay?" (Getting vengeance for all of those things Mello upset him with in chapter 8's Akugi)

* * *


	11. Steps

**In Charge**

**Chapter 11 – Steps**

By Threshie

AN: First off, sorry I haven't updated in awhile! Don't worry, I'm not abandoning the fic—I just suddenly found myself going to an anime convention (Aki Con) this weekend that I hadn't planned for, and while I was there I was too busy doing con stuff to write (not to mention I didn't bring my laptop along.)

I was there Saturday and Sunday. I cosplayed as Mello, with my nieces as Matt and Near and my sister as L. 3 Although, the first half of Saturday my sister and I were a pair of very pink lolitas, and for the first half of Saturday and all of Sunday the nieces were Link and Dark Link. If you went to Aki Con, too, you might remember them as the two that had a sword duel in the Dealer's Hall. :) They got in the newspaper from that duel, LOL.

Anyway, that's why I haven't updated in longer than usual. I'm back now. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Near was wearing the oxygen mask again. That was Matt's first thought when he got back to the white-haired boy's bedside. Mello was leaned back in a folding chair he had gotten from somewhere, legs sprawled out in front of him and arms hanging down near the back. He had a distant, thoughtful look on his face, and was staring at the very blank wall behind Near's bed with his head tilted to one side.

"How's he doing?" The redhead asked worriedly, depositing the dinosaur on the foot of the bed. Mello jumped slightly, turning to stare at him with wide eyes.

"Matt!" He exclaimed, as if his friend had suddenly materialized where he was standing.

"Is Near okay?" Matt asked more bluntly, leaning over to look at the white-haired boy's face. _I think he's just sleeping..._

"He fell asleep," Mello confirmed his suspicions, glancing at Near, too. He seemed about to say something more, but stopped himself, getting up instead. "Now that you're back, I'm going to go fetch some things..."

Reminded of the chocolate, Matt said, "Oh! Here..." He turned and offered it to Mello. Blinking, the blonde took it with a funny look on his face. Matt smiled, _You were gonna go get chocolate, I'll bet. _Mello couldn't stand to be without chocolate for long, and hadn't had any when he'd left, after all...

"Thanks..." The blonde boy examined the candy's wrapper and remained standing; he seemed antsy, like he still wanted to leave.

"Um....L says he's gonna be here by tomorrow night," Matt offered, trying to lighten the mood. _I thought he'd be happier to have chocolate...maybe he's still irritated at me for yelling back at him._ He rummaged in his pockets, pulling out handfuls of army men, and for a moment there was an uncomfortable silence. He wondered what Mello would say to Near if he knew that Near couldn't respond. _Nothing nice, probably..._

"...That's good," Mello finally replied, ripping the foil off of his chocolate. He paused, snapping off one corner of the candy with his teeth. "He said he'd be here today when I left, though—something must've slowed him down."

"Oh...y-yeah, maybe," Matt claimed the chair, since the blonde didn't seem to want it anymore, and reached over to smooth Near's hair down gently. _Something's wrong...Mello's got no energy suddenly, and Near's unconscious._ He trusted Mello to do what he promised and not hurt Near, but...what exactly had happened while he was gone?

Mello was frowning and poking the dinosaur in the teeth with one finger. Matt watched him as he glanced at Near's face, scowled, and chomped on his chocolate again. _They must have fought about something. Damn...leaving them alone together _was_ stupid...no matter how much I trust Mello not to hurt Near, I doubt he would be nice to him just because he's sick, either. Near's already had such a rough time the last few days, too..._

He sighed.

"Go get stuff if you want to," he told Mello; he forced a smile, but couldn't quite make himself look his friend in the eye. Matt wasn't very good at lying, and if Mello looked him in the eye he was sure it would be obvious that he wasn't happy. Hoping to reinforce the "everything's normal now" message, he added, "And, if it's not too much trouble...bring me back some smokes?" He didn't really care about when he'd be able to smoke again at the moment, but he wanted Mello to stop looking so subdued.

_I wish Near was awake so I could ask him what they talked about—for all I know, Mell just bragged about getting to work with L by himself, but he seems bothered by something..._

Mello came over next to him, glancing down at Near.

"We both know I was just going to go get chocolate," he said, turning to look the redhead in the eye. _Crap—just what I _didn't_ want to happen!_ Matt leaned back a bit, wishing he had a good excuse to break the intense gaze. He felt like Mello could read his thoughts, like they were being spoken aloud. "Tell me something..." The blonde's eyes narrowed, "While I was gone, did Near say anything about me?"

"Huh...?" Matt blinked, "Uh, actually he never even mentioned you. Why?" _Did you guys talk about _me_ while I was gone?_ What a strange thought; he was sure that talking about L's case had to be more interesting than talking about him.

"....?" Mello bit off another chunk of chocolate, breaking the stare to look over at Near. He seemed a bit surprised.

"Mell..." Matt sighed, crossing his arms. "What's up? You're acting funny." _I wonder if he's actually worried about Near? That'd definitely make him act funny..._

* * *

The blonde sighed, shaking his head. _If he didn't mention me, he couldn't have been trying to influence Matt's opinion of me. I'll give him a break...for now._

"Nothing. I'm taking over here, though—I want you to get some sleep."

"...Y-yeah, I am getting kind of tired," Matt admitted, smiling somewhat sheepishly. "I've been busy taking care of Near; I wasn't really thinking about sleeping or anything..." He picked up the dinosaur, placing it carefully beside Near on the bed. "Hey, don't leave him alone in here, okay? I know it sounds weird, but I think being left alone scares him."

_Of course he wasn't thinking of sleeping--he wasn't thinking about anything but Near. Hmph!_ Mello didn't particularly care if Near was scared or not—in fact, if he was feeling better, the blonde would have jumped on the opportunity to cause him some discomfort.

The bad feeling twinging in his chest made him nod now, though, muttering, "Fine, I won't." He grabbed Matt's arm and tugged him to his feet, adding sternly, "Go home and sleep, Matt."

The redhead only nodded, keeping his eyes downcast. He looked a bit depressed. Mello realized that now that he wasn't in charge of caring for Near, he probably felt more helpless about the situation than ever. _At least while he was in charge, he felt like he was doing something. Hmm._ "And after you sleep, get me some more chocolate and get back here," he added, letting go of his friend's arm to wave his hand dismissively.

Matt glanced up at him, then smiled slightly. _There we go, that's more like the Matt I know._

"Heh...okay, no problem. I'll try and get back quick." He stepped aside, offering the chair to Mello. "Um...if he wakes up before I get back, please tell him where I went, okay? I don't want him to think I just ditched him as soon as I could. See ya..." He sweatdropped, glancing around as if realizing for the first time that he hadn't brought anything along with him, and then nodded once and headed slowly for the entrance to the ICU.

Mello watched him go, a bit irritated that the first and last thing he had talked about today was Near. He turned back to look at the sleeping boy, frowning to himself. _Maybe if I tell him Matt _did_ ditch him at the first opportunity, he'll get the picture that Matt's not his friend. _Near had said that Matt wasn't his friend, but the blonde didn't believe him. _Hell, even if _he_ doesn't think of Matt as a friend, if Matt thinks of _him_ as one things will change a lot..._

Changes involving Matt spending more time with Near, and less with Mello.

The kind of changes that the blonde did _not_ want to see.

_I'll do something about this..._

* * *

"What?! You can't—he's just had surgery!" Near was no longer surprised at Matt's immediate protests when Dr. Lidner announced that he could now get out of bed. He sighed, glancing at the redhead. _For someone who isn't my friend, he seems to care what happens to me a great deal. I suppose he just doesn't want me to be in the hospital any longer than I have to be._

"If he hadn't had a reaction to the medication, I would have asked him to get up and walk around yesterday," Dr. Lidner explained calmly, crossing her arms. "Now, as you can see, he's feeling much better after I switched his medication. It's important to move after an appendectomy." She turned to Near, who looked up at her just as calmly, and said, "Near, I'd like you to get out of bed and walk around the room, or even the hallway outside, each day—it's okay to walk slowly, and you'll have to be careful with your stitches, but you need to do this."

"Understood," the white-haired boy murmured, exchanging a glance with Matt. The redhead looked a bit worried, but nodded. _If I am all right with it, he won't protest anymore. Good._

Dr. Lidner opened her mouth to say something more, but the sound of the door opening interrupted her. Glancing over her shoulder, she blinked at Mello, who had just come inside. It was the first time he had visited Near room, as they had moved him back out of the ICU early that morning while Mello was visiting the house to bring some of Matt's clothes and his Gameboy.

"Stupid nurse gave me the wrong number the first time," the blonde boy frowned, taking a rather violent bite of his chocolate bar. Seeing the young woman standing beside Near's bed, he blinked, staring at her.

"Hi, Mell," Matt smiled, looking glad to see him. "Um...Dr. Lidner, this is Mello. He's Near's and my neighbor."

"Pleased to meet you," Dr. Lidner smiled, amused by either the chocolate or Mello's haircut; Near couldn't decide which was more probable. He smirked slightly to himself, twisting a lock of hair around one finger. _Mello isn't any trouble now. I haven't ever felt unable to keep up with him in a conversation until yesterday..._

That had been uncomfortable; it had felt something like being in a sword duel with someone with three arms (and swords), and having both of his hands tied behind his back. _Swords..._ He wondered idly why his mind hadn't chosen a more contemporary example of a fight...

"Near?" He blinked, glancing at Matt. He'd apparently been spacing out again, because the redhead had moved to sit beside the bed at some point and last Near checked, he had been halfway across the room.

Matt looked unhappy, but in an understated, "I'll keep my mouth shut" kind of way. _I wonder if he thinks of me as a friend... _He hadn't even considered the possibility until Mello had had that little talk with him. _I think his intention was to stop me from thinking about friendship with Matt, though...how unfortunate for him that it backfired._

"Yes?" He turned his head to stare at the taller boy intently.

* * *

"I'll help you get up if you want to walk around now," Matt sighed; he didn't like even saying it, but he figured that Dr. Lidner knew what she was talking about. Near seemed to trust her judgment, anyway. _Near's smarter than me—if he says it's okay, it probably is. Then again, he was okay with Mikami doing his "tests", too..._ Obviously, as intelligent as he was, Near wasn't all-knowing.

_That'd be L,_ the redhead thought fondly, smiling to himself.

"All right," Near answered, glancing at the two blondes across the room. "I think that Mello and Dr. Lidner are going to get along well." Matt glanced at them, too, nodding. Mello was smirking and waving his chocolate bar, free hand propped onto his hip as he explained something to the doctor, who looked a bit startled about whatever he was saying.

_He looks happy,_ Matt decided. He was glad for that. Mello had been acting a bit weird since that day Matt had left him to watch Near in the ICU. It was hard to place how, exactly—he acted like his usual energetic self, eating chocolate all the time and ordering Matt around half-jokingly, but something was obviously on his mind. When Matt would start talking to Near, instead of interrupting or tossing in some comments to the white-haired boy, himself, the blonde would fall uncharacteristically silent.

He and Near hadn't had a single argument since Mello had gotten back, either. In fact, he hadn't really spoken to Near much at all...

_Don't worry about that right now,_ the redhead told himself, watching anxiously as Near pushed back the covers and gingerly moved his legs over to hang off the side of the bed. He winced sympathetically at the thought of moving around after surgery that required a three-inch incision and lots of stitches, but the white-haired boy didn't make any sound, himself. He did bow his head, though, and sat there for a long moment after moving his legs. He was looking down at the floor off of the bed; his feet didn't come anywhere close to touching it.

_It must be tough being that little. Jumping off the bed would hurt right now..._

"Here," Matt held out a hand, leaning down slightly to peer under Near's bangs and try to glimpse his expression. He was staring at the floor as if it was to blame for being so far away, frowning.

Without looking up, he placed a small hand on top of Matt's palm.

"I'm afraid I need you to help me," he sighed, sounding none too pleased about this.

"No problem," Matt smiled, trying to sound reassuring. _He's putting on a brave face—I don't know how I missed it before. He's nervous about doing this, isn't he?_ As he got to know Near better, he could read his expressions easier. _I wonder if he thinks I'm weird for caring what happens to him so much... I'd probably be a bit weirded out, myself...but, Near doesn't seem used to having friends, so maybe he doesn't have anybody else to gage it against. _

He wasn't sure when he'd started thinking of Near as his friend, but it was true. He was a new friend...Matt didn't know too much about him yet, because Near was usually very quiet and aloof...but he was a friend nonetheless.

_I think he likes spending time with me, too—he seemed to be having fun when he tried my goggles on, anyway. I don't know...with him, it's hard to tell...I'd better pay attention to what I'm doing now, though, because I really don't want to hurt him._ That was another way to tell he thought of Near as a friend—seeing him get hurt wasn't something that Matt cared to repeat.

He focused carefully on the problem at hand—how to pick Near up without moving his stomach around too much.

"Let's see, here..." He considered for a moment. The white-haired boy continued to watch the floor, leaning gently on the hand that Matt had offered. The redhead smiled, squeezing his hand, "I think I've got this. Listen carefully, okay?"

* * *

Near glanced up at Matt; he was smiling reassuringly. _Hmm...he seems confident about what he is doing. I trust him..._

"All right..."

The redhead placed Near's hand on one of his shoulders, then knelt down beside the bed. _I don't understand..._ The smaller boy blinked, looking down at him.

"What exactly are we doing...?" He sounded a bit puzzled, and imagined that it actually showed on his face, too. _Putting my hand on his shoulder and kneeling...steps? Is that it?_

"I know it looks a bit funny," Matt explained, sweatdropping, "But I'm pretty sure this'll work. Hold onto my shoulders to keep your balance and step right here." He cupped one of his hands around one of Near's feet, positioning the other a bit further down. "It's like walking down the stairs—see?"

_I am sure that Dr. Lidner or a nurse could just lower the bed down to let me get off of it,_ Near thought, amused by the redhead's solution. Oh, well—this way looked kind of fun, and Matt seemed to be trying his best to help, so Near decided to humor him. Putting on a serious face, he nodded and very carefully slid over to the edge of the bed, leaning his weight down onto the foot that Matt was already touching. His injury didn't really hurt—the medication made sure of that—but he could still feel the stitches tug slightly when he leaned forward at all.

_I will have to be very careful...I don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. That would only cause more trouble for L, and for Matt._ Mello didn't seem too troubled by his condition, and he doubted that it mattered to the blonde whether he was in the hospital or not save for the fact that Matt was spending all of his time there because of it.

He placed his other hand on Matt's other shoulder, so that he could balance squarely by leaning forward without tilting to either side, and stepped down onto the redhead's lower hand. _It's a good thing that I don't weigh much...I wonder why he didn't just pick me up?_ Standing up straight on somebody's hands was extremely difficult; he wobbled, especially when Matt lowered his feet to the floor while he was standing up. Matt moved slowly enough not to topple the two of them, though, and in a moment he found himself standing on the hospital floor (albeit, on top of Matt's palms) for the first time.

He had been carried into the building, and wheeled around on cots ever since—this was actually the first time he'd stood on his own in days. His legs felt a bit wobbly; he frowned, stepping off of Matt's hands and bracing a hand against the bed behind him so that he wouldn't sway. _This...feels clumsy._

He didn't like to feel clumsy.

"Are you okay? Can you stand all right?" Matt stood, watching him carefully. The smaller boy sighed, nodding. _I suppose being clumsy and weak can't be helped at the moment. It's just bothersome._

"Yes...thank you," he said, glancing over at Mello and Dr. Lidner, who were still absorbed in some apparently-interesting conversation. _Mello seems awfully friendly today, especially to someone he has just been introduced to. He is probably relieved that I said I wasn't going to become Matt's friend._ He sighed faintly, sitting up to see if he could stay on his feet without leaning on the bed. When he didn't wobble too badly, he steeled himself for a tiring journey and started very slowly toward the door. His legs felt stiff...like he'd been sleeping for a long time, and then suddenly had to move.

_L should be on his way back right now,_ he thought, trying to distract himself. _I wonder if he'll come visit us himself, or send Watari?_ L rarely ventured outside by himself, but it did happen on occasion. It would be nice to see him again...it would be nice to be home again, where strangers couldn't walk through the door at any given time.

* * *

_I guess he can't feel _too_ bad if he can walk...maybe I'm being overprotective,_ Matt decided sheepishly, following Near as the white-haired boy very slowly crossed the room. He paused by the door, where Mello and Dr. Lidner were barring the way, and said mildly, "Pardon me."

"Oh! Near, I'm sorry," Dr. Lidner turned quickly away from Mello, who looked irritated that their conversation had been interrupted, and looked a bit embarrassed herself. "You _can_ get up and walk around, just as I thought." She patted his shoulder, a motion that only seemed to emphasize how small of stature he really was, and smiled. "Don't push yourself too much, okay? A lap or two around your room is plenty for today."

"I will be fine," Near was twisting a lock of his hair again, glancing sidelong at Mello as he added, "Matt will be walking along with me."

The blonde boy frowned in response, snapping off a piece of his chocolate and remaining silent. Matt nodded, glancing at him, too. _Somebody's got to walk with him, and I didn't think you'd exactly volunteer, Mell._

"Yes, that was the other thing that I wanted to say," Dr. Lidner said, gathering up her clipboard and stepping toward the door, "Please don't walk around alone. I'm sure your brother will take good care of you—and Mello, too." She smiled warmly at the blonde boy, who had looked at her when he heard his name. "It was nice meeting you, Mello. I've got to get going—call me if Near's condition changes at all."

With that, she nodded one last time and disappeared out the door.

Near turned to Mello, smirking slightly.

"Dr. Lidner is a lovely woman, isn't she?"

Mello glared at him, snapping off another chunk of chocolate.

"So you and Matt are going for a walk?" He asked darkly, declining to comment on the doctor. Matt smiled to himself. _That's a sure sign he's embarrassed...heh, that's funny. I wonder how much older she is than him?_ He decided to be nice and not tease Mello about it, though—Near seemed to be up to doing that, and teaming up on Mello wouldn't be very kind. _Especially when Near usually beats him in one-on-one arguments anyway,_ the redhead thought, a bit guilty to be thinking this about a friend. It was, unfortunately, the truth...

"Yes," Near replied simply, reaching for the doorknob. "You are welcome to come along if you like."

The blonde shook his head immediately, "No thanks." Matt doubted he wanted to walk at an extremely slow pace, in the hospital with Near or otherwise. Mello wasn't a very patient person; taking anything slowly wasn't really his forte.

"All right," Near glanced down at the floor, still twisting the same lock of hair around one finger. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. "Then, if you don't mind, I have a favor to ask of you."

Mello stared at him, disbelief written on his face. Matt was a bit startled, himself. _You tease him and then ask for a favor right afterward? I think you're out of luck, Near..._

"I need you to check the answering machine at home," Near continued, glancing at him sidelong again with a serious expression on his face. "Gevanni and Rester are each involved in murder investigations in Salem and New York, respectively, and should remain there for at least a week more, but they may have tried to report their findings so far and gotten no reply. I don't want to alarm them..." He frowned, wrapping one arm around himself slowly while he spoke.

"The riddle letters that I finished before Matt brought me here, also...they need to be mailed to Commander Rester. I would ask Matt to do this, but then you would have to walk with me...and you said that you would rather not do that."

Mello's expression was difficult to read; it went from disbelief to irritation to a grim, almost sympathetic seriousness in less than a minute, before finally settling on a frown.

"Fine."

Matt glanced at him, wondering if he'd heard right. _He agreed, just like that? _

* * *

"Thank you, Mello." When Near looked at him with such weariness in those dark eyes, it was extremely difficult for Mello to keep that bad feeling from overwhelming him. _Ugh...he almost died, being a jerk would just make me feel worse at this point. Besides, I'm going to take care of this stupid "I'll be Matt's friend and say I'm not" thing he's pulling soon enough—let him think he's won this time._

He glanced at Matt, who looked surprised that he was agreeing so easily, and nodded slightly.

"Sure...it's important, case-related stuff, so I'll do it. You two go walk...see ya." Without waiting for a response, he turned and escaped out of the door, rushing down the hallway. _Stupid Near...why do you have to try and take everything that's mine? This is an easy way to get rid of me so that you can spend more time with Matt! _What bothered him the most was that Matt didn't seem to be bothered at all—he was practically tripping over himself to do whatever Near wanted right now. Sick or not, Mello didn't see any reason for anybody but _him_ to get to boss Matt around like that...

The hurried walking turned to jogging, then an all-out run. The air rushed through his hair, blowing coldly in his face as he charged through the exit and out into the parking lot, running away from Matt and from Near and this whole complicated, irritating situation.

Let Near think he had won.

Until L got back, there was no way to keep him from monopolizing Matt's time, anyway, short of insisting that he spend all of _his_ time with Near, himself. Much as Mello wanted Matt to not become friends with Near, he hated that bad feeling he got when he thought about the white-haired boy's condition even more.

So he would let Near win this round—he wouldn't fight it for once.

_As soon as L gets back, though...then I'll do something about this. Then I _will_ win this!_

--End Chapter 11

* * *

AN: Ugh...this chapter was a struggle to write. I wasn't quite sure what angle to approach the first few scenes from, and so they aren't my best work ever, unfortunately. I think the writing gets better again toward the end...anyway, now that Near's feeling a bit better, his and Mello's constant competing is coming into play—and this time, with Matt's friendship at stake, Mello is determined to beat Near more than ever!

Poor Matt, he's just being his likable self and causing conflict without knowing it. (Sweatdrop) Next chapter ought to be more interesting...this one was a "transition" sort of thing, which unfortunately has to happen occasionally. Now the title of this chapter makes a lot more sense, though, huh? :)

Hope you're still reading and enjoying the fic—see you next chapter!

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_ **Akugi! Volume 11**

Akugi #41

Matt: "Is Near okay?" (Glances at him worriedly)

Mello: (waves hand dismissively) "No, he died--is that chocolate?"

Akugi #42

Mello: (Pokes the dinosaur in the teeth with one finger)

Dinosaur: (CHOMP)

Mello: "!!!"

Akugi #43

Narrator: Mello didn't particularly care if Near was scared or not—in fact, if he was feeling better, the blonde would have jumped on the opportunity to cause him some discomfort.

Mello: "Just wait, Near--as soon as you get out of the hospital, I'll put you back in it!" (Evil grin)

Near: u.u "That's fine, I enjoy being in here anyway. This way people wait on me hand and foot, and Matt stays by my side 24/7. On top of that, you are too guilty to be as mean to me as you usually are."

Mello: ..._Dammit, he's right!_

Near: (Smirk)_  
_

Akugi #44

Near: "Dr. Lidner is a lovely woman, isn't she?"

Mello: (Cheerily) "Yes, she's wonderful!"

Near: (Twists hair and glances at Matt) "...That cinches it, you _do_ like boys."

Mello: "!? H-how did you jump to _that_ conclusion?!"

Near: u.u "If you were attracted to Dr. Lidner, you would have been awkward and disguised it with anger."

Matt: (Laughs) "Wow, Mell, he's got _you_ pegged..."

Mello: "..." (Glare) "N-no he doesn't! (Awkward and disguising it with anger)


	12. Friendship

**In Charge**

**Chapter 12 – Friendship**

By Threshie

AN: Sorry this took so long, guys. (Sweatdrop) Not that I have a particular schedule for when to update, but people seem to start panicking that I'm abandoning the fic if I go more than a week without an update. I've been drawing a lot lately as opposed to writing; in particular, I'm working on a Death Note doujinshi, my first ever actual full-size manga type project. It's on manga paper and everything...LOL. Besides the drawing, the reason that this chapter was a bit long in coming is that the plot line gave me some difficulty. I think I've got things plotted out well enough now to make it turn out the way that I want it to...albeit in the longest chapter yet. Over 5,000 words this time! (Phew!)

Even without many reviews coming in, judging by the "Story Traffic" feature this fic is now pulling around 100 different readers (not hits, but actual READERS) per chapter. (Impressed) Wowee, guys... I'm glad that so many people are enjoying the story, and I'll do my best to keep turning out an interesting fic for you all. :) Thanks very much for reading!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

The house was a mess, and Mello didn't care to clean it up.

Slamming the door and flicking the lights on, the blonde ignored the assortment of games Matt had left scattered on the couch, making a beeline for the computer room. L had set up dozens of computer monitors and several computers inside, a tangled mess of cords snaking out from behind them and into no less than five power strips, each of which had eight sockets.

There were papers all over the floor, along with a computer chair lying on its side. Realizing that it was Near's, Mello felt a brief twinge of that bad feeling again. _I'll bet he fell of of it—there's no other reason it would be on the floor._ He headed past the mess, cursing to himself when the toe of one of his boots caught a toy robot and knocked it into the far wall. There were more toys underneath the papers—dozens of them. _Stupid Near and his stupid toys! What the hell is this, a giant toy box?!_

Grumbling to himself, Mello came over to the phone and sat on the table next to it, propping an elbow onto one knee and leaning his face on that hand. He punched the button to turn speaker-phone on, not wanting to mess with the receiver at the moment, and then the speed-dial button for voice mail.

_Did Gevanni or Rester call? I barely even recognize what they sound like—they're not _my_ problem..._ Well, at the moment they were...

He sighed, listening as the machine rattled off something about having forty-five new messages, and waited. The number of messages didn't matter; dozens of people left messages for L at all hours of the day and night, so most of them probably weren't from Gevanni or Rester.

Maybe none of them were.

_Listening to forty-five messages will take too long!_ Irritated, the blonde punched the button to skip to the next message—3—repeatedly, counting off the number of times in his head. _If they left any messages, they've got to be the most recent ones—I'll try the last five._

After punching the 3 button forty times, Mello was naturally quite sick of using the phone—especially when the message that started to play after all of that trouble was just another one for L. _Not important—3!_ Punch. There was a beep, and then the next message started in...something about L and "the murder case in L.A." Growling, Mello jabbed at the 3 button again.

Beep.

"Hello Near, this is Commander Rester. I guess you're busy right now, or you'd answer the phone..."

_Finally!_ Mello sat up slightly, listening to the message. If Rester said anything important, he would have to relay it to Near. _Not that he could do anything about it from the hospital—why even bother?_

"The investigation is going well—the police weren't kidding when they said it was a very strange case. It's too complicated to describe over the phone—I'm emailing you the photos and forensics reports we have so far. There are still two locations tied to the crime to investigate before I'm done here, so don't expect me back for awhile. Call me when you get my email, all right? I have some other information that's kind of hard to put into text."

Beep.

It occurred to Mello that he wasn't sure where Rester was calling from. _Near sent him and Gevanni to different states, but that's all I really know about it. Not my case._ He was curious what kind of information Near wouldn't be able to understand in text, but the next message was starting, so he did his best to pay attention.

"Gevanni here," the voice was male, slightly gravelly, and sounded very irritated. "Would it kill you to pick up the phone? This's my third time calling, and I finally gave up and decided to leave you a message. Listen, Salem's not a happy place right now—ours isn't the only murder case being investigated here. There was another murder right after I got here! I emailed you a bunch of photos and documents about our case, but look, it looks like the new murder's connected--the crime scene has a tie-in with ours. If you give me the go-ahead, I'm gonna go over and investigate that place, too. _Please_ get back to me."

Beep.

Since he'd heard from both Rester and Gevanni, Mello was about to punch the 3 button again to skip the final message, but the familiar voice made him freeze.

"Hey, this's Matt," the machine murmured; the tone was that familiar, slightly awkward "I rehearsed this in my head but nothing's coming out right" one that Matt got when he knew that he was being recorded. It made Mello smile. _He's never been the most confident public speaker ever...why did he leave a voice mail, though?_

The next sentence answered his thought almost before he finished it.

"Um...Near got appendicitis and had to have surgery, so we're gonna be staying here for awhile. Speaking of 'here', we're are the St. Marie Hospital on 203 West Street; Near's room number is 128." There was a brief pause, then the rest of the message came out in a rush, as if Matt was trying to get the call over with: "I'm listing this stuff because if Gevanni or Rester are listening to this, Near would appreciate it if you'd bring some of his toys—those robots, maybe—and if it's not too much trouble, bring me a few packs of smokes."

Beep.

"End of messages," the answering machine murmured, in a soft British-accented voice. Mello had always figured that L didn't like robotic-sounding computers because, with the way his voice synthesizer sounded, it sounded like another L was talking to him.

_Of course Matt called home to let anybody who got back know what's going on,_ Mello told himself, glancing down at the answering machine. It made sense, and was the responsible thing to do. The comment about cigarettes amused him. _He's a terrible liar—pretty bad at making a serious request sound casual, too. _He sighed, pressing the button to end the call, and hopped off of the table. _So I'll tell Near both of his men called, and that both want him to call them back. And to check his email._

He made a beeline for the kitchen—the good chocolate was in the highest cabinet. Snagging a handful of bars, he tore the foil off of one and snapped off a piece. He wondered what Matt and Near were talking about while he wasn't there.

_...I wasn't even gone a week, and Near's already snagged my best friend. I hate him!_ The bad feeling twinged, and for once he didn't care. Try as he might, when it came down to one-on-one competitions with Near, the white-haired boy somehow always won. It seemed like competing for who got which cases to solve wasn't enough for him now.

_That liar—how is he _not_ being friends with Matt?! He only always beats me because he lies and cheats at everything!_ Growling, he let go of his chocolate bar, which hung clenched in his teeth, and yanked the door open. His other hand was full of the other bars, and he didn't feel like juggling them around between hands at the moment.

He climbed back onto the motorcycle, stowing the chocolate behind him in the under seat compartment, and revved the engine a lot more loudly than was necessary. _This is because I got L to myself, isn't it? He can't stand it, so he decided to steal Matt to get back at me!_

He was angry at Near for always messing up whatever he was happy with, for monopolizing Matt's attention...for that guilty, _bad_ feeling that wouldn't leave him alone. He hated the fact that hating Near made him feel like a jerk at the moment.

_I have nothing to feel guilty about—he's taking full advantage of this whole hospital thing. He's sick, but he doesn't need Matt waiting on him hand and foot--I've got a right to be mad, dammit! _Despite the words, he couldn't muster up any more anger. He was frustrated, yes, but saying that he hated Near wasn't exactly the truth. He wasn't fond of the white-haired boy by any means, but what he really hated was that he apparently wasn't as good as Near. He hated that Near always beat him—not at some things, not sometimes, but always and at _everything_.

That meant that it was only a matter of time before Matt's friendship wasn't his anymore...because now that Near had decided he wanted it, he could take it from Mello without even trying.

As he pulled the motorcycle out onto the highway, the wind stirred through his hair, the roar and rumbling of the engine washing away the sounds of the world. He had to get back to the hospital quick, if only to keep Near from having any more time alone with Matt.

_He's been my best friend for years...for as long as I can remember. Don't I matter to him? No...he wouldn't do this on purpose. Near's manipulating him._ Matt was possibly the only person who really understood Mello, and the person that the blonde got along with the best. The thought of losing his friendship was bad enough, but thinking of it going to Near instead was like a punch in the stomach.

_Matt, I'm not letting Near have you without a fight. Watch and see—I'll show you who really cares about you, and who doesn't care about anybody but himself!_

* * *

"I'm sorry..." Matt was sure what he had expected when he went walking out into the hallway with Near in his pajamas and socks, but running into Mikami and receiving a prompt, polite apology hadn't been it.

The black-haired man even bowed to Near, and looked truly bothered by his apparent mistake. _Too bad I'm not sure what he's apologizing for..._ Matt glanced down at Near, who was watching Mikami a bit warily, to see if he knew.

Apparently not, because he raised a hand and started to twist a lock of his hair, murmuring, "For what?"

Stiffening a bit, Mikami sat up straight and adjusted his glasses. He frowned.

"While under my care, your condition became much worse and you were moved to the Intensive Care Unit. As the nurse in charge of your care, I must take responsibility—I'm only doing my job properly if you improve and recover."

"Near doesn't blame anybody for that," Matt said, "It was an allergic reaction."

Near nodded, looking up at Mikami seriously. It was a scrutinizing kind of stare; while he didn't blame the nurse for what had happened, he obviously wasn't very fond of him, either.

"...Dr. Lidner says that I do not have peritonitis," he said pointedly, frowning. "What made you so sure that I did?"

_Come to think of it...according to his "tests", there was no doubt about it._ Matt blinked, quickly looking back at Mikami to see his reaction. He looked irritated now.

"Your condition at the time was caused by the growing allergic reaction, but the symptoms were very similar to those of peritonitis," he explained, crossing his arms.

"So you misdiagnosed me, then," Near said pointedly, frowning back.

Mikami looked like he might be about to say something unpleasant, but instead he only said, "Appendicitis in which the appendix is ruptured has a much higher chance of peritonitis." A pause. "Besides, I was going to bring Dr. Lidner to verify before any action was taken—I am not a doctor, and I wasn't playing at it either."

That last comment made Matt frown, too.

"Next time," he pointed out, "It'd be nice not to tell the patient he might die until _after_ you asked a real doctor." _He didn't have to say that to Near—it scared me, and I wasn't even the one who might die. _

"The patient has a right to know what's happening to them, and as far as his symptoms were concerned at the time he definitely had an infection," Mikami countered stiffly; it seemed like an injury to his pride every time someone pointed out that he was capable of making mistakes. _What a prick—if you were as perfect as you pretend you are, you wouldn't think you had anything to apologize for! Get over yourself already!_ It usually took a lot to make Matt mad, but after his dealings with Near, Mikami was on the "short fuse" list for sure.

Maybe that was why he said what he did next.

"Not when the patient's a kid!" The words came out before he could stop them. Near looked and sounded and even acted so child-like that it was easy to think of him as one...Matt respected him a lot, though, so he hadn't ever really said so like this. _Crap...I hope he doesn't think I'm belittling him. I'm not...he just seems like he needs somebody to take care of him..._

* * *

"I am not that much younger than you, Matt," Near pointed out, amused by the direction that the conversation was going. He sounded serious and calm, of course—the amusement was of the inward variety. _I wonder what age Mr. Mikami thinks I am...not that it is important._ Sighing, he added, "And, I would much rather know what is really happening to me than to be kept in the dark, even if it might be disturbing."

_I hope that this conversation is over soon so that we can walk again... _Amusing as Matt was being, Near didn't particularly enjoy talking to Mikami. His energy was also running out fast, and he had hoped to walk to the end of the hallway and back today. Only now that Mikami had shown up, he was wasting that energy standing around and talking...

Matt looked unhappy with his reply, but only said, "I guess." He glanced at Mikami, frowning slightly and adding, "We'd better get going—you shouldn't stand for too long."

_It really seems to bother him that Mr. Mikami hurt me before. _Actually, for somebody who he had only spent a few days of time with, Matt seemed to care about his well-being an awful lot... _I wonder if that is because I am a "kid" to him..._ He sighed, allowing himself to be led past Mikami and down the hallway again.

Mello's little chat with him really _had_ backfired. Ever since the blonde had made him say that he wouldn't start a friendship with Matt, he hadn't been able to get the thought of doing just that out of his head. _I hadn't considered it an option...but, he is treating me like a friend, isn't he?_ He peered up at the redhead, who was looking thoughtfully off into the stretch of hallway ahead of them while walking, and smiled faintly. _If I wanted to, if I responded in kind, I could have a friend. _

_Matt could be my friend._

* * *

Mello felt an irritating amount of deja vu as he propped the motorcycle onto its kickstand in the garage for the second time in the same hour. Climbing off of the leather seat, he sighed and headed back into the house. _Damned Near....this is your fault, too!_ In all truth, it was his own fault that he had had to come back, but blaming Near for things didn't make him feel as bad as it had awhile ago.

He had been so busy fuming at Near over potentially stealing Matt's friendship before that he had forgotten entirely about Matt's request in the voice mail. _You get me stuff when I ask you to, so it's the least I can do to bring you some smokes, Matt. As if you'll leave poor little Near's side long enough to go smoke, anyway!_ That wasn't the point, though; it wasn't Matt's fault that Near was manipulating him, Mello told himself. He refused to believe that Matt could actually want to be Near's friend on his own...there had to be some sort of mind game going on, he was sure of it. _He's probably pulling some guilt trip, the jerk..._

He went and rummaged in Matt's room—an utter mess, as usual—until he found a slightly battered box of cigarettes hidden halfway under the bed. Pocketing them, the blonde frowned. _There was one more thing that I was supposed to do while I was here...something Near mentioned at the hospital._ He stood there wracking his brain for what it could be, but, as usual when he forgot about something and then focused intently on remembering it, the last task stubbornly eluded him. His mind seemed eager to think of anything else, in fact.

_Oh, forget it! Near can do his own stupid work when he gets back home, for all I care._ Scowling at Matt's room in general as if it might clean itself up suddenly by intimidation alone, the blonde teen headed back out to the garage, hopped onto his motorcycle, and sped off again without giving the forgotten task another thought.

Instead he thought of the situation at hand.

_When will L get back already? He said he'd be back _yesterday_. I wonder if something went wrong with the case..._ He frowned, coming to a reluctant stop at a red light, and glared at the driver in the car next door, as the man was shooting him a weird look. Whether it was his clothing, his haircut, or the fact that he was riding an enormous motorcycle and looked very small by comparison, Mello didn't know, but he hated it when people stared at him. _You look like a freak to me, too, so there!_

He drummed gloved fingers on the handlebars impatiently. _I should call L when I get back to the hospital. Hmm...no, maybe before that. Then nobody can overhear, so we can discuss the case if that's the problem that's holding him up..._ Just as the light turned green again, he swerved abruptly into the turn lane and pulled over in front of a small convenience store, killing the engine and reaching for his cell phone. If it was a problem with the case, he might be able to help since he had worked on it, too.

* * *

"Aww!" Matt sweatdropped, stopping very reluctantly when he heard the chorus of feminine cooing from behind them. Near turned, too, glancing back at the three nurses who were quickly making their way to the two boys. Two of them were brunettes, the third a redhead, and all wore bright, cheery scrubs with cartoon patterns printed on them. They were young, maybe 20, and so Matt guessed that they were probably interns from some college.

"Are you a patient here, sweetie?" The brunette with the green scrubs asked Near in that patient and slightly higher-pitched voice that people seemed to reserve for young children. She braced her hands on her knees, leaning forward slightly to be eye level with him.

Tugging on a piece of his hair, the smaller boy looked down at the floor rather than meet her eyes and nodded. It was such a childish response that Matt couldn't help but smile, too. _He doesn't like talking to strangers much, I don't think. That, or he's trying to make them go away so we can finish our walk..._ He sighed; they had already been stopped by Mikami, and now this. The end of the hallway was beginning to look farther away than it had from the outside of Near's room...

"I thought so—isn't it fun to spend all day in your pajamas?" The woman giggled, sitting up. Matt sweatdropped. _She has no idea he never wears anything but pajamas,_ he reminded himself, _So she doesn't know why that's a really...ironic...question._

"I suppose," Near murmured, glancing up at her a bit tiredly. There was another chorus of hushed "aww!"s from the other two women behind the one talking to him.

"What a polite kid! I'm sure somebody nice like you will be all better in no time, and back home with your parents," the redheaded nurse said sweetly, reaching over and patting Near's head. Blinking, he looked down at the toes of his socks and nodded again.

"Um, we'd better keep walking, Near," Matt suggested as politely as he could, sensing that the white-haired boy wasn't sure how to get rid of his new admirers.

"Yes," Near glanced at the women again, looking somewhat relieved. "It was nice meeting you all." He turned and started down the hallway again, leaving Matt to hurriedly follow suit.

"Bye-bye!" The nurses giggled, waving. Matt sweatdropped and waved halfheartedly back, then faced forward again. _Sheesh..._ He glanced at Near, who was looking thoughtfully at the floor as he walked and twisting a lock of his hair again. _I guess that's what I should've expected, walking around out here with a cute little guy like him...eheh. He really _does_ seem a lot younger than he is. _

It was disconcerting whenever he realized that Near was only a year younger than him. He would be more inclined to believe that the white-haired boy for some reason lied about his age, if not for the fact that he had grown up around Near and so knew that he really _was_ fourteen years old.

* * *

Near had always thought that his white hair was what people noticed first when they met him. Now, though, he was beginning to think that his apparent age was somehow more attention-grabbing. _Do I really look that childish...?_ He wondered, fidgeting with a piece of his hair absently. _Being small of stature is one thing, but people seem to believe that I don't think like a teenager does. Hmm._

The nurses weren't the only ones...Dr. Lidner seemed to talk to him in a "how cute, a kid who's acting mature—I'll humor him" kind of way, and even Matt had said that Near was a "kid" during that conversation with Mikami.

_Matt seems to mean well, though. He was only concerned that Mr. Mikami had scared me. I wasn't afraid...but it was kind of him to consider that._ He glanced up at Matt sidelong, then quickly returned his gaze to the floor when he realized that the redhead was watching him. _...Based off of how he and Mello interact—the only example of friendship that I have available at the moment—Matt has been treating me like a friend. _He was almost certain that if he asked Matt to be his friend, the redhead would happily agree.

But if he did that...

_Mello will never forgive me._

"Matt..." He ventured thoughtfully, deciding to test the waters.

"Yeah?" The taller boy replied immediately—almost too quickly. _Has he been waiting for me to say something?_

Seriously, Near turned and looked him in the eye.

"Why do you care what happens to me?" It was a blunt, matter-of-fact kind of question, but very relevant to the situation. _Depending upon his answer, maybe he is just being kind and not offering friendship. Maybe he is only so concerned with my well-being because I seem like a child to him..._

Matt blinked, obviously caught off-guard by being asked this straight-out.

"Um....I'm not sure. I just do," he explained sheepishly, scratching his head. "I guess you're an interesting person. I-in fact, I was kind of hoping we could still be friends after all of this...this hospital stuff is over with. I-I mean, I know I'm not a very interesting person or anything, but maybe, if you don't mind..." He trailed off into somewhat awkward mumbling, looking at the nearest wall with sudden and tense interest.

Near frowned to himself, looking at the floor again. _Just as I thought...he does want to be my friend. If I accept, though, Mello will be furious because I told him that I wasn't going to befriend Matt._ He sighed. He really didn't care if Mello was angry at him, but if he caused a scene then Matt would definitely feel like it was his fault for being the subject of the argument.

Not only that, but if Mello and Near were _both_ Matt's friends, who would be his "best" friend then? _Does he care about me more than Mello already? _He was spending all of his time looking after Near; as things looked now, it was highly probable that Matt would pick Near as his best friend over Mello...despite the years of difference in the time that Matt had been friends with one or the other.

_He would never do that to Mello, though,_ the white-haired boy knew. _He would try to be his friend, too. Mello might not know that, though. If Matt is friends with me at all, he will be unhappy. If Mello is unhappy, Matt will be unhappy. And so long as I am Matt's __friend, Mello will constantly try to beat me at being Matt's "best" friend—I know that is what he will do. Matt won't fall for it, of course—but if he does anything toward me, Mello will assume he is losing and up the ante. _

_In other words...befriending me would likely ruin Matt's friendship with Mello entirely._

He sighed softly, closing his eyes.

_I don't want that._

"I am grateful that you have taken such good care of me," he said, "But we don't have much in common, Matt. I don't think that we could be friends." He said it more coldly than he'd intended to, probably because he was too tired to hide what he was feeling. "I would rather be by myself, thank you."

It was a lie, and a blatant one at that.

He wanted Matt's friendship.

He didn't want to be alone again.

Near had never had a close friend before; even L, as much as he obviously cared about all of them, was always busy with work and rarely spent any significant amount of time with any one of them. Mello and Matt had always had each other for companionship...and that left him by himself. _I would rather be lonely, which I am used to, than to cause Matt as much upset as a friendship with me would cause, though,_ he told himself firmly.

"...Th-that's okay, no big deal," Matt tried his best to sound unbothered, but there was definitely hurt in his voice. He fidgeted, adding hurriedly, "We better start heading back, before you get too tired to walk the whole way." Near nodded, allowing the redhead to lead the way back to his room.

_I'm sorry, Matt...this is what is best for you. Being my friend would only make you miserable in the long run._

--End Chapter 12

* * *

AN: I'm not sure who I feel worse for—Matt, Near or Mello! Nobody's happy at the moment. (Sweatdrop) Meanwhile, something seems to have delayed L's return—and yet he hasn't called to tell anybody why! As if the poor guys didn't have enough to worry about...

Took me hours, but all 11 chapters before this one now have Akugis, too. (Stubborn and wants all chapters to match, so wrote them all on in one day) Go back and read them if you haven't already, LOL. :) See you in lucky chapter 13 next!

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 12**

Akugi #45

Narrator: He headed past the mess, cursing to himself when the toe of one of his boots caught a toy robot, which retaliated by blasting a hole in the leather footwear with its laser rifle. It then transformed into Wing Zero Flight Mode and--

Mello: "NEAR! Give the keyboard BACK TO THRESHIE!"

Near: (Smirks)

Akugi #46

Mello: _Listening to forty-five messages will take too long!_ (Punches the 3 button to skip 45 of them)

3 Button: (Breaks after message # 25)

Mello: "...ARGH!" (Is forced to listen to the remaining 20 HIGHLY TECHNICAL, WORDY messages for L about very COMPLEX cases, as he can't skip them)

Akugi #47

Mikami: "I'm sorry..." (Bows)

Near: (Twists hair) "For what?"

Mikami: "For assuming that you are a child—how could I not realize that you're loli-shouta? It's something from my own _culture—_how could I have overlooked it?!" (Spazz)

Near: "...."

Matt: (Wonders what "loli-shouta" means, exactly...)

Akugi #48

Nurse: (Gushy-sweet voice) "Are you a patient here, sweetie?"

Near: u.u "I am a surgeon."

* * *


	13. The Last Word

**In Charge**

**Chapter 13 – The Last Word**

By Threshie

AN: Lucky chapter 13 already...wow, this fic's getting long. It doesn't help that the chapter are getting super-long lately...I think 11 pages (e.g. chapter 12) is a little _too_ long, so I'll try and keep them shorter than that from now on.

Now that the holiday season is upon us, my fic-writing time will be a bit more limited, but I'm not abandoning "In Charge", so hang in there with me! I'll also be spending some of my time making holiday-themed fanart; keep an eye on my DeviantArt gallery (linked in my profile here on FFN) for those to appear. If you've ever wondered what Matt or Near would look like in realistic 3D, check out my latest DA posts—I've posted about ten 3D pics of Matt and Near there recently. :)

Anyway, let's get back to the fic, shall we?

Trivia: The source of Chapter 12's title is that Mello, Matt and Near all have friendship on their minds during the chapter, and also that Matt asks Near if he wants to be friends at the end. Finally, the title refers to Near's decision to, for Matt's sake, not become friends with him. Near doesn't know it yet, but that choice—made for Matt's sake and going against his own wishes---_is_ something a friend would do...so he might be Matt's friend already. :)

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"Hold up," Matt sighed, stopping. Turning, he looked at Near, who had leaned on the wall as soon as they stopped, and asked, "Are you gonna make it?"

The white-haired boy frowned, wobbling slightly.

"....Maybe." _That's stubborn person talk for "no way, but I'll kill myself trying,"_ Matt thought, sweatdropping. _So Near and Mello _do_ have some personality traits in common..._ Stopping and talking to Mikami and then to those interns must have taxed Near's energy too much for him to last the whole walk. They hadn't even made it halfway back to the room yet... _Going up and down the whole hallway on the first day was pretty ambitious, anyway. I don't want him to hurt himself..._

Kneeling next to Near, he peered back over his shoulder and told the smaller boy, "Climb on, I'll carry you back."

Near looked at him quietly, dark eyes unreadable. He seemed surprised but too tired to express it. _Maybe I'm reading too much into it, though...since apparently I don't know him as well as I thought I did._

The redhead looked down at the floor, biting his lip. He had really thought that he and Near could be friends. He'd hoped that they would. _Just another example of how stupid I __can be sometimes, I guess..._

He felt small arms being slipped carefully around his neck, then someone leaning against his back; after considering for a long moment, Near had apparently decided to accept the fact that he couldn't walk back on his own. Standing, Matt easily carried the smaller boy on his back as he started down the hallway again.

"Thank you, Matt..." Near murmured tiredly from next to his ear.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to walk the whole thing tomorrow," Matt told his new burden (who was so light that he wasn't much of a burden at all) as cheerfully as he could.

He tried not to sound as hurt as he felt.

Ever since Near had matter-of-factly pointed out that they weren't compatible for friendship, there had been an aching feeling in his chest. Okay, "ache" wasn't the right word...it felt more like someone had kicked him in the stomach. It was strong enough that he actually felt a little sick.

It had taken a lot of courage to ask straight-out if Near would be his friend, and after assuring himself that things would turn out okay if he did the brave thing and asked, the opposite had happened. Mustering up all of that courage had only left him feeling bad about himself in the end... _I guess I set myself up for this; what did I expect to happen? Did I really think somebody as brilliant as Near could want me for a friend?_

Being rejected had hurt—still hurt—but he couldn't really blame Near for doing so. He just wasn't good enough. There wasn't anything else to say about it. He wasn't anything special, especially when compared against people like Near and Mello...and L. _I'm boring, and I'm number three _without_ counting L. I'm not even sure why Mello's my friend...it's not like I'm smart enough to be on his level..._

He shook his head slightly, trying to dismiss the thoughts. _There's no point in getting depressed about something you can't change...you'll just make yourself cry or something stupid like that, and then Near will feel like it's _his_ fault you're boring...like it's his fault he's special...and brilliant... Dammit...do I have to be a genius just to be his _friend?_ Isn't doing my best good enough for anybody...?_

* * *

Near hugged around Matt's neck, resting his cheek against the taller boy's red hair. The hallway looked different from such a high vantage point, but he was too tired to really pay it much attention. His arms and legs felt heavy. Maybe his heart was part of the weight... _I wish that Matt didn't want to be my friend. That would make pretending to not want to be his friend much easier._

This guilty feeling hadn't really hit him until Matt had offered to carry him. Now, snuggled up against the taller boy's back with the gentle swaying motion of walking rocking him slowly back and forth, he closed his eyes and sighed. _He isn't treating me any differently. Even after I was cold to him...he is still caring for me like he did before. __He really is kind..._

If only he _wasn't_ so kind...being treated nicely only made Near feel worse about what he had had to say before. If Matt had been cold in return, he would have known how to deal with that...but, though he was definitely quieter than before, Matt seemed just as concerned with the smaller boy's well-being. It only made Near admire him more for being such a genuine kind of person.

_This is terrible,_ he thought glumly. _Everything that he does only makes me want to befriend him more, but I have to be cold to him. I can't even be kind to him in return, or he might think that I am reconsidering what I said before... _

_I wish that _I_ didn't want to his friend so much. _For the first time in his life, someone _wanted_ to be friends with him, and he had to reject that friendship. It was depressing...

The piggyback ride, as his sleepy, unhappy mind vaguely noted that it was called, seemed to last for a long time. Matt said nothing, only walked along without pausing for the frequent "aww"s or "Is he okay?"s that other people in the hallway exclaimed upon sighting Near being carried like that.

Matt was warm, and being snuggled up close to him on top of being tired made Near sleepy. His troubled thoughts sank into blackness, friendship and all of its tangled intricacies blurring together into confusing dreams.

_If I pursue my own happiness...I will ruin everyone else's. Why...?_

* * *

"Hello...?" Mello twitched at the usual calm way of answering the phone.

"L! What's going on—why are you so late getting back?" He demanded, irritated. _Here I'm thinking you got hit by the riots that kept _me_ from coming back here for almost a week, and you sound perfectly fine!_

The case that they had been working on together wasn't related to the cause, but the town he and L had been staying in was having issues with civil unrest. There had been violent rioting in the streets for days over some factory being closed and laying off hundreds of workers. _I thought it died down the day before I left, though....unless the idiots started up _again_?_

"Mello, hello..." L sounded unfazed by his irritated tone, but not in the usual way; he seemed tired. "I'm sorry I am so late...I'm......."

Mello glared at the semi truck that was rumbling by on the road beside him, drowning out whatever L had been saying.

"What?" He sighed, irritation giving in to exasperation. _He's okay, wherever he is, at least..._

"I said that I am on the train on my way back," L said curiously. "Mello...where are you calling from? It's awfully noisy, wherever it is..."

"I just pulled over on the side of the road," the blonde explained, glancing at the traffic that streamed by dubiously. "Look...I just called to make sure you're okay. You're _days_ late, and you didn't call or anything."

_I wonder what L will think of Matt and Near being friends..._ The thought of that drained the enthusiasm out of him. All he could think of when he thought of Matt now was Matt laughing and joking and hanging out with Near and _him_ being the one who was left out. _If Near even knows _how_ to laugh or joke..._

"Yes, well...there were a few complications with the case," L said tiredly, "Namely, the detective—you remember him, Mr. Matsuda?--he didn't think that he could handle the case without me there. I had to practically hand him the solution before he would let me leave..." He sighed. "I'm sorry that I didn't call and let you all know why I'm late; he is a very clingy kind of person. How is Near?"

Feeling a twinge of anger at the mention of the smaller boy's name, Mello answered shortly, "Better." _He's well enough to steal my best friend—he'll be fine. Unless _I_ do something to him, that is..._ Much as he felt like he wanted to, he knew that hurting Near wouldn't help anything. If he did, L would be angry, Matt would be angry...he would be angry with himself. _I could beat him in a fight without even trying..._ No, doing that would only make the ""bad" feeling return in force...

"I see..." L seemed to be analyzing his reaction; he sounded thoughtful. "And Matt? He sounded very tired the last time he called me."

"I made him get some sleep," the blonde sighed, "He was so busy taking care of Near that he really wore himself out. He's at the hospital with Near right now." _I wonder if they talk about me when I'm not there._..

"I'm glad," the detective murmured; he sounded like he was smiling. "I knew that you would take care of everyone well, Mello. I'll be back in an hour or two at the most, I promise."

"Okay," Mello answered shortly, "See you then."

"Goodbye..."

Closing the phone, the blonde sat and looked at it unhappily. _L's not worried because he trusts me to take care of Matt and Near until he gets back...and here I am, miles away from the hospital. They could have left and I wouldn't know it!_ He gritted his teeth, shoving the phone into his pocket and starting the motorcycle's engine.

Roaring back onto the highway, the blonde told himself again that L was almost back. Once L was back, everything would go back to how it had been before. _Just got to hang in there for a little longer...I can tolerate this until he gets back. I think..._

* * *

Matt pushed the door to room 128 open with his boot, both hands occupied with carrying Near. Except for the quiet "thank you", the white-haired boy had been silent since Matt had picked him up. _I can't tell if he's bothered by our conversation or just tired._ With the matter-of-fact way that he'd replied, it probably didn't bother Near too much to talk about friendship and not wanting it...

The redhead frowned unhappily, swiping the door closed with his leg, and turned to go place Near on the bed. He stopped in his tracks, though, when he saw Mikami standing beside the bed.

"Hi," he said warily, glancing at the tall man and making for the bed at a slower pace than before. _What's he doing here? He's not doing any nurse-type busy work, no remaking the bed or changing the IV bags or anything..._ It looked more like Mikami had been waiting for them to get back.

"Hello," Mikami replied calmly, eyes drifting from Matt's face to the sleeping white-haired boy on his back. "...How is our patient doing? Not well, from the looks of it."

_Funny, you don't sound in the least bit concerned._

Matt frowned, "He's just tired from walking." Something wasn't right...Mikami wasn't apologetic anymore. That strange, suspicious feeling that the redhead had felt when he first met the nurse was back in force. _What, is he mad that we ignored him and left earlier? He wasn't exactly making the conversation with him _enjoyable_..._

Speaking of conversations...

"Why are you here?" Matt asked pointedly; there was no way to put it that wasn't blunt, and he probably wouldn't have gone for subtlety if he could have. _I don't like this guy—what does he want with us anyway?_

"I need to speak with the patient," the nurse said evenly, glancing at Near again. "It looks like that will require waking him up first, though."

_So that's why he's been so quiet...makes sense, I guess._

"He's exhausted—whatever you have to say can wait," Matt frowned, pausing beside the bed and glancing down at it. _Crap...if he's asleep, I can't sit him down without help!_ He glanced at Mikami, whose slanted eyes turned to his at the same moment. The nurse smiled. It wasn't a comforting or friendly expression—he looked more smug than anything.

"I don't suppose you need some help there, Mr. Kennedy?"

"Not from you, I don't," Matt frowned at him. "After last time, I'd rather you didn't touch Near at all."

Mikami seemed to twitch slightly at that response.

"How many times do I have to tell you that the test was _supposed_ to hurt?" He asked bitterly, frowning at Near.

"I don't know, something about deliberately hurting the patient seems a little _odd_ to me," Matt answered sarcastically, wondering if he could sit Near down without waking him up. "Besides, there had to have been a way to do it that didn't hurt that much." _Maybe if I sat on the edge of the bed and let him fall back onto it...no, that might hurt his stitches. Dammit...Mikami's starting to really grate on my nerves..._

Crossing his arms, the nurse adjusted his glasses and said coldly, "You aren't a medical professional, so your opinion isn't important. I was only doing my job."

_Ugh, the "I was just doing my job" routine..._

Turning to face Mikami, he pointed out darkly, "You know the _real_ reason I won't let you touch him? 'Cause last time he was starting to get better, you came in and 'tested' him and he almost died!"

* * *

"H...how dare you! You said yourself that that wasn't _my_ fault!" Near was awakened by a familiar and angry voice. _Mikami...?_ He blinked, realizing that he was still being carried on Matt's back. _How long...have I been asleep? Has he really been standing here holding me the whole time?_ He peered around the top of Matt's head at Mikami, who looked furious.

"He had enough to worry about without you and your stupid tests, though," Matt shot back, quite loudly since he was so close to Near. _They...are arguing about me,_ the white-haired boy assessed sleepily, frowning and sinking down to hide his face in Matt's hair. He felt just as exhausted as he had before his nap...obviously he hadn't been asleep for long.

Not wanting to try and match the volume of the other two people in the room, Near patted Matt's shoulder to try and get his attention instead.

"Near!" The redhead abruptly ceased his side of the argument. "Crap, I'm sorry—didn't mean to wake you up." He sounded relieved, for some reason... Blinking, Near glanced at Mikami over the top of Matt's head again. _How long have they been arguing?_

"Mr. Mikami helped," he pointed out tiredly. "Why are you two shouting about things that have already been settled, anyway?"

"Uh...ehehe...." Matt turned and placed his carefully onto the bed, mumbling something about "tests" and "creeps", but didn't offer any actual reply. Sitting up, he nodded at Mikami unhappily, "He said he wants to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Near glanced at Mikami, who has his arms crossed and was watching Matt intently. _About what they were arguing about? Wonderful...I thought that we were finished discussing this._ "Mr. Mikami, I don't really have the energy to deal with you right now," he sighed, twisting a lock of his hair and reaching for the dinosaur, which had been lying on the bed where he left it. "Please just say what you came to say and be done with it."

"All right," the nurse said calmly, reaching into his pocket. Out of the corner of his eye, Near saw him raise his hand, but it was over before he even realized what Mikami was doing.

There was no bang, barely any sound at all, but Matt was crumpling to the floor, crimson blooming starkly across the chest of his shirt.

"Delete."

--End Chapter 13

* * *

AN: (Shrinks in anticipation of readers killing her for those last few sentences) Um...please bear in mind that stories always have their darkest parts right before things get better! (Sweatdrop) That's all I can really say...except that, lest you get mad and there are dire consequences, I'll spoil this one fact: Matt isn't dead. ^^; Hang in there, the fic's boiling down to its last few chapters... I guess chapter 13 wasn't so lucky after all.

Next chapter introduces the world's greatest detective. :) It's going to be my first time writing him into an actual fanfic scene as opposed to script-format roleplays, so... (Crosses fingers) Let's hope my portrayal of him turns out acceptable, like my portrayal of Mello did. Ehehe.

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 13**

Akugi #49

Matt: "Climb on, I'll carry you back."

Near: u.u "I refuse."

Matt: "Okaaay...just trying to help..."

Near: ; "...But if I am up on your back, I would be so tall that my head would hit the ceiling, wouldn't it?"

Matt: (Sweatdrop) _Words from the land of short people..._ "Uh, I'm not _that_ tall, Near."

Akugi #50

L: "I'm sorry I am so late...I'm......."

Semi: (RUMBLE)

Mello: (Sigh) "What...?"

L: "I said I am--"

Motorcycle (not Mello's) : (ROOOAAAR)

Mello: (Twitch) "WHAT?"

L: (sweatdrop) "Where ARE y—"

Police Car: WEEEOOOWEEEOOOWEEEOOO!

Mello: "&^%$!" (Hangs up and texts L instead)

Akugi #51

Narrator: Matt pushed the door to room 128 open with his boot, both hands occupied with carrying Near.

Matt: (Tries to push door open, but it is closed tight) "...." ^_^; (KICKS)

Door: (Doesn't budge)

Matt: (Now hopping on one foot with Near on back, cursing under his breath about battered toes of other foot) _; "...." (Taps lightly on door with toe of boot)

Mikami: (Opens door, smirking) "Need someone to get the door for you, Mr. Kennedy?"

Matt: "I KNEW you were in here! You were ENJOYING listening to me break my foot, weren't you...?" -_-;

Akugi #52

Matt: "After last time, I'd rather you didn't touch Near at all."

Mikami: (Twitch) "Just WHAT are you implying?"

Matt: u_u "Oh, you're not fooling anybody, Mikami—you've got a THING for kids, don't you?"

Mikami: "...!" (Sputters in disbelief at what he's hearing)

Threshie: ^^; "Um...sorry to Mikami fans, I'm not portraying him very nicely in this fic. Ehehe...he IS mentally unhinged, so it's not like my portrayal is out of character, though. Next chapter you get Akugis will L in them!" :D


	14. Realization

**In Charge**

**Chapter 14 – Realization**

By Threshie

AN: Hi, everybody. I left last chapter at quite a cliffhanger, so I'll keep this author's note short and talk at the end instead. Onward!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

The door was ajar.

For some reason, the sight of it made Mello uneasy. He wasn't even sure why, but it bothered him. _They're probably just sitting there doing boring stuff like playing with Near's toy dinosaur,_ he told himself, snapping off another piece of the chocolate bar he'd brought. Despite reassuring himself, he still sprinted the last few meters to the door.

Stepped inside, he glanced around quickly to see what Matt and Near were up to. The bold stripes of Matt's shirt immediately caught his eye, but something else grabbed his attention more.

Blood.

The redhead was sprawled on his back on the floor; crimson stained one side of his shirt and was beginning to form a small pool beneath him.

_Matt?!_

Mello took a step backward, dropping the chocolate as shock and disbelief flooded his senses. _Dead...?! Who—_how_...?_

He crossed the distance between them, sinking down to sit on the floor without even thinking about it. _This...this can't be happening. Is this real?_ He yanked one of his gloves off and swept trembling fingertips across Matt's cheek.

He was really there, really laying there in his own blood. Part of Mello was repulsed by the thought of Matt being dead, and at the same time another part of him wanted to cling to what was left of his friend and... _And what? I-I don't even know! How can this be happening?!_

Warmth.

He blinked, this bit of information finally breaking through the shock. Matt was warm. _Warm...alive?_ He quickly pressed his fingertips to the redhead's neck.

A soft, steady pulse beat against his skin.

Scrambling to his feet, the blonde ran to the door and shouted at the first person he saw in the hallway, "Get a doctor—someone's been shot!" Eyes widening, the poor nurse nodded and ran off to get someone. Rushing back inside, Mello located the bullet wound and pressed on it to try and slow the bleeding. The shot had caught Matt in the chest; whoever was shooting must have been aiming for his heart.

_Whoever did this to you is going to pay, Matt! You better live to see them pay!_

Dr. Lidner and four nurses arrived in moments; they crowded around Matt, shooting quick, sharp orders back and forth between them, and Mello found himself shoved over beside the bed with no way to help. His mind was attacking the evidence from every angle, but nothing made sense.

_Who could shoot him in a hospital? _He wondered darkly, looking down at his bloodied hands, one gloved and one bare. The other glove lay forgotten on the floor. The nurses lifted Matt onto a gurney and wheeled him away, Dr. Lidner ordering them to the surgery ward. After they had gone, the blonde woman turned to Mello.

"This is horrible—how could someone...?"

Meeting her eyes, Mello didn't reply. He wasn't sure what to say. _For once, I have no idea. But when I find out..._

"Where is Near?" Blinking, he was snapped out of his darkening thoughts by the doctor's question. She was looking at Near's bed with wide eyes. It was empty, the blankets tousled as if someone had lifted the small inhabitant right out of it...

_Near...whoever shot Matt _took_ Near!_

* * *

Warm...

Near blinked hazily at an unfamiliar ceiling, wondering where he was. _And where is Matt...Matt!_ Everything that had happened suddenly came rushing back to him all at once.

Matt...Mikami shot him.

The gun had been silenced; how and why Near didn't know, but because of it no one came to help. Matt had sank to the floor, bleeding badly... Near had been so shocked by what was happening that he hadn't even resisted when Mikami scooped him up in his arms and carried him away. The image of Matt's body rapidly disappearing behind him seemed to be burnt into his mind.

_He...was gone so fast. He didn't even get any last words..._ Even after watching it happen, it was hard to believe that Matt was really dead. The memory of it, even, seemed more like a surreal nightmare than something he had actually witnessed.

_Matt is dead,_ he told himself blankly; he knew it but somehow the meaning wasn't sinking in. Shock wouldn't let it sink in.

He looked around the room as if in a daze. It was small, set up just like a hospital room...the bed was even a folding hospital bed. A nurse like Mikami would know where to acquire one, he thought absently, hugging the dinosaur to his chest.

He blinked, looking down at it. He hadn't even realized that it was there... _I...must have been holding it when Mikami picked me up. Matt..._ He looked down at the plastic reptile's eternal, toothy smile and hugged it tightly, beginning to tremble. _Matt...I-I want Matt..._

* * *

"...He's waking up!" Matt heard someone exclaim nearby. His chest hurt in a dull, numbed kind of way. _What the...?_ Wincing faintly, he opened his eyes to find Mello's slanted blue ones inches away. "Matt!" The blonde exclaimed, leaning even closer, "Who did this to you? Who shot you?!"

_Shot?_ Matt stared at him in bewilderment, then looked down when he noticed white across his shoulder. Bandages. His shirt was missing, and in its place there were bandages wound all the way around his chest...

"Mello..." L said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head, looking down at Matt worriedly. _H-how is L here? ...Mikami!_ Matt shivered, remembering the calm way that the man had took aim and shot him. There had no remorse in his eyes at all, no hesitation.

_Why shoot me? J-just because he was _mad_ at me?_ No, there had to be a darker reason behind this...

"N...Near," he whispered, looking at Mello.

The blonde gritted his teeth, "The bastard who shot you _took_ him." His eyes narrowed, "What happened, Matt? Who did this?"

_He's gone...oh, god, Mikami took him..._ The redhead closed his eyes; he felt sick to his stomach. If Mikami had no qualms with shooting _him_, what could he want to do to Near...?

"M-Mikami," he said finally, tears in his voice. "W-we've got to find him. H-he'll hurt Near—we've got to find him...!" He struggled into a sitting position, ignoring the sudden jolt of pain from his chest and the wailing protests of the monitoring equipment by the bed.

"Matt, don't!" Mello pushed him back to the bed with both palms, sounding half-stern and half-panicked.

"It's all right, Matt—we'll find him," L's voice was soothing...Matt relented and sank back down into the pillow again, warm tears slipping down his cheeks.

"...I-I couldn't protect him, L," he mumbled, hiding his eyes behind one hand shakily, "M'sorry....l-let you down..." _It's true, isn't it? Doing my best still isn't good enough. _I'm_ not good enough! Dammit...Near, I'm so sorry..._

* * *

Mello couldn't hardly stand to see Matt fall apart like this again. Before it had been for a stupid reason, but this time he couldn't fix things by telling Matt that it was foolish. There was a _real_ reason to be so upset this time. He watched as L patted the redhead's shoulder and spoke softly to him, feeling helpless. He hated to feel helpless...

He gripped both hands into tight fists, trembling with fury at this "Mikami" Matt was talking about. _Whoever he is, he's _dead _when I find him! How dare he hurt them?!_ He included Near without even thinking about it; whether he hated the white-haired boy or not, he wouldn't wish kidnapping or murder on him. It was bad enough even looking at him when he was hospitalized...

_He can't get hurt again—he has to get better so that I can fight with him again, dammit! Things have to go back to normal!_

"Matt," he said sharply, leaning close to the redhead's face again. Since L was speaking to him, his friend had stopped hiding behind his hand, but tears still streamed down his face. Those vivid blue eyes seemed even brighter against the red from crying... Feeling a twinge of guilt, Mello softened his tone, asking more gently, "Who's Mikami?"

It took a moment for Matt to calm down. Taking several deep, shuddery breaths, he finally answered heavily, "The n-nurse...in charge of Near's room." Sniffling and swiping at his eyes, he shrank self-consciously away from Mello's and L's stares, adding, "He's this grumpy J-Japanese guy, kind of weird."

"He's a _nurse_?" Mello asked, frowning. Matt nodded, keeping his eyes downcast.

"Y-yeah."

"How did he end up shooting you?" L asked quietly, propping a thumb against his bottom lip as he often did while thinking. He looked very troubled by what he was hearing. _This Mikami guy doesn't know who he's dealing with,_ Mello thought darkly, _L will track him down in no time, and then he'll have to face _me_._ Anyone who had wronged someone Mello cared about before knew firsthand what _that_ meant...

"He was waiting for us in the room. I-I kind of...got into a fight with him," the redhead explained faintly, glancing up at Mello before quickly lowering his eyes again. He almost looked ashamed of what he was saying. It was unusual for him to pick fights, so maybe he actually was...

"He hurt Near doing some s-stupid 'test', and then he wouldn't admit he was wrong..." He glanced down at the bandages on his chest, adding glumly, "I think he planned to shoot me all along...h-he waited 'til I sat Near down, though."

"Sat him down?" L said curiously, digging in a pocket of his oversized blue jeans. He came up with a small lollipop after a moment and began to twist the wrapper off delicately with his thumb and index finger, eyes not leaving Matt for even a second while he did so.

"I-I was carrying him," Matt explained, glancing at the lollipop briefly before looking down at his hands again. "...He got too tired to walk back to his room, so I gave him a piggyback ride. Anyway, Mikami..." He frowned, "As soon as I sat Near down, he just shot me, j-just like that." He pointed a finger at the roof and made a quick, offhanded shooting motion, sighing.

"I think he would've done it as soon as I closed the door, but he was probably afraid of hitting Near by accident. ...H-how could this happen?" He began to tear up again, shaking his head sadly.

Seating himself on the edge of the bed, Mello reached over and gently patted Matt's hair. _A trick I learned from you...I hope it's okay if I do the same thing you did to Near. If not, you two are closer friends than you and I, I guess..._ That thought didn't help his mood any.

Matt didn't seem to notice the gesture at all, for better or for worse...

"We're going to get him, Matt," the blonde said, quietly but intensely. "We're going to get Mikami, and we'll get Near back too."

"But what if Near's not...i-if Mikami's already..." Matt closed his eyes, crying again. He couldn't say it, but it was obvious what he was implying.

_What if Near's dead? I'll tell you what...if Mikami so much as _hurts_ Near, I'll kill him! _Mello retorted angrily in his some reason hating Near had become secondary to hating Mikami for kidnapping him. It didn't make sense, to feel so protective of a person he claimed to hate...but, Mello felt what he felt. Sense never had much to do with feelings anyway, did it?

"He isn't dead," L interrupted; he had the lollipop tucked into one cheek, and spoke around it with no apparent awareness of the fact that it made him hard for the average person to take seriously.

Used to such behavior, Mello crossed his arms and asked intently, "How are you so sure, Ryuzaki?" While out in public he, Matt and Near all knew to call L "Ryuzaki"; it was kind of a nickname by now more than an alias, although it was the opposite of a conventional nickname since it was much longer than L's actual name...

"If this Mikami had intended to kill Near," the great detective reasoned thoughtfully, "he would have shot him in the room along with Matt rather than risking leaving the building with him and being seen." He looked at Matt sidelong, dark eyes was wide as ever. The dark circles under his eyes only intensified his gaze, as he sighed, "Obviously he has other plans for him...though from the sound of it, they can't be pleasant ones."

"The police are looking, but we'd better investigate too," Mello nodded, but as much as he wanted to get Mikami, he couldn't focus entirely on the matter at hand. Something was occurring to him, something about Matt and Near...

_They're already friends, aren't they?_

Even after being shot, Matt wasn't worried for himself. Ever since he'd awakened, all that he had talked about was saving Near.

_Matt's so worried about him...but not for the same reasons that I want to save him. It's because Near's his new best friend, right? _He glanced at Matt, unable to help feeling bitter and a bit hurt at this realization. Ever since he'd returned from helping L with that case, Matt had spent almost every waking moment caring for Near...talking to him, worrying about him, even carrying him around. How could Mello have missed it?

He knew the answer, of course. He had been in denial. Seeing that he was losing, he had convinced himself out of desperation that Near must be guilt-tripping or tricking Matt into spending so much time with him. It was easy to see that Matt cared about Near, no mind games about it...anybody could see that.

He just hadn't wanted to see.

_If Matt _wants_ to be his friend instead of mine...then nobody wants me and Matt to stay friends except for me. _There were more important matters at hand, and he knew that it was childish to cling to this, but he really felt like he was losing to Near for good. Matt's friendship was the only thing that he had ever had that Near couldn't come close to...until now.

If they got Near back in one piece, anyway.

Advantageous as having him out of the picture would be for their constant rivalry, Mello didn't wish for that outcome for even a moment. _If he and Matt are really friends, Matt would be really upset if something happened to him. Hell, look at how upset he is just from Near being kidnapped! Besides, I don't hate Near enough to want him _dead_..._

"Mr. Kennedy, I'm so sorry about this..." Mello and L turned at the same time toward the source of the voice—Dr. Lidner was making her way across the room toward them. Having been there when L arrived half an hour ago, she had already been introduced to him as Matt's and Near's adoptive father, and called him by the fake surname Matt had written onto Near's paperwork.

She looked at Matt grimly, then turned to L. "I have the police searching for your son. I'm sorry, I wish that I knew how to explain this, but the situation makes no sense. For a shooting to happen in our hospital is..."

"It's all right, doctor," the black-haired man murmured, plucking the lollipop out of his mouth for a moment to regard her seriously. "I know that the hospital isn't responsible for what happened; no one could have suspected such a thing would happen except for the attacker. I would like to assist in this investigation, though. I have connections to several highly skilled detectives who could solve this case."

"You'll have to take it up with the police," Dr. Lidner sighed, "I'm afraid I don't really have much to do with it besides answering their questions."

L nodded, "Ah, of course. I will go and speak with them right now, if you'll show me where I can find them?"

"Of course!" The doctor echoed, heading for the door immediately, "Just follow me, Mr. Kennedy."

"Please call me Ryuzaki," L murmured, falling into step behind her. "I don't suppose there is a nurse working here named Mikami...?" He glanced at Mello as he passed, shooting him a meaningful look. _Stay and take care of Matt,_ the blonde nodded, _Got it. You just go find out where Mikami's hiding, and promise me you'll give me a chance to "talk" with him before he goes to jail—if there's enough of him _left_ to go to jail!_

* * *

Near pushed the door open gently, surprised that it was unlocked. He had listened carefully to make sure that no one was in the next room, but still glanced around the large, ornately-furnished living room before stepping outside.

After an initial few minutes of hoping that Matt would suddenly show up and prove that this was all a bad dream, the white-haired boy had pulled himself together and decided that if he wanted to escape Mikami, he would have to help the situation as best he could. He would deal with what had happened to Matt later...if he didn't, he knew that he wouldn't be able to help himself escape.

Mikami didn't seem to be around, so now was the time to take action... He tried to focus on only the present, scanning the room quickly.

Carpet.

Curtains drawn down over every window.

Two doors to other rooms...

_I am sure that the doors leading out of the house are locked...Mikami can't be stupid enough to leave me here alone without preventing me from leaving in some way...unless he believes that I am too weak to escape._ He frowned, starting toward one of the doors. A moment later, the click when he tried the knob only half-surprised him._ Of course he locked me in. Thinking it might be unlocked was only wishful thinking...which I don't have the time for right now. _

If he couldn't escape, what was the next best thing to do?

_Hiding would only last for so long—he knows that I am in here, and must be more aware of places to hide in his own home than I am. No...something else. A phone! Mr. Mikami must have a phone somewhere,_ he told himself, glancing around again. If he could find a phone, he could call someone for help. _Gevanni and Rester are out of state, Matt..._ He shook his head, dismissing any thoughts that had to do with Matt hurriedly, _He isn't an option. Mello is my best chance._

The house was so still and silent that his footsteps sounded too loud, even though he was walking on a carpet in socks. The place was filled with dark, polished wood furniture. Ignoring the most prominent example of this--a square dining room table and chairs—Near headed for the imposing black walnut desk that took up one corner of the room across from him.

His stitches throbbed persistantly, as well as one hip; he'd decided that falling would be less likely to tear the incision open than attempting to climb off of the side of the bed would, and so he had crawled over the edge and let himself fall onto his side on the floor instead. He would have a bruise to show for it later, but if it helped him escape it would be worth it...

Escaped to what? Going back to face Mello after what had happened to Matt seemed almost as dangerous as staying there with Mikami...

He caught himself thinking of Matt again, of how he had sank to the floor without even a cry of surprise...

_Focus,_ he ordered himself, banishing the thoughts; his own emotions were irritating him at the moment._ I can panic later on my own time—right now, I _must_ find a phone. Mr. Mikami is a meticulous person...someone like him would keep the phone where he would use it the most. _His eyes scanned the desk, flitting back and forth across the neatly-stacked paper, perfectly-angled pens, and fllawlessly-written notes.

_There!_

In a house furnished so formally, he'd expected an old-fashioned corded phone. Instead, the device that sat atop a thick medical reference book far to the side was tiny and black; sleek. A cell phone.

_I wonder if Mello will answer when the call is coming from an unfamiliar number..._ Slipping the device open with both hands, the white-haired boy frowned and began to dial awkwardly. Anybody who had worked with him on a case would never guess how bad he was at using things like computers and cell phones...he always had an assistant to get people on the line for him, or to call up important documents.

_I have no one to rely on but myself,_ he told himself, holding the phone close to his ear with both hands. It was ringing...he must have pressed the right button after entering the numbers.

Now, if only Mello would pick up...

--End Chapter 14

* * *

AN: What an angsty chapter... (Sweatdrop) Sorry for the double-whammy (har, whammy, Wammy's...yeah, nevermind...) of having two scenes in a row where people think Matt's dead. He deserves to have a fuss made over him for something this serious, I figure. The ending seems really...mild and slow, after chapter 13's. Oh, well. Hope you enjoyed chapter 14! :)

Trivia: "The Last Word" for chapter 13 was, of course, "Delete". :) So the chapter's title is directly based on the fact that Mikami and Matt were arguing and Mikami got the last word.

That's it this time around; see you in chapter 15! (Wow, 15...)

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 14**

Akugi #53

Narrator: The bold stripes of Matt's shirt immediately caught his eye, but something else grabbed his attention more.

Matt: (Covered in chocolate syrup stains)

Mello: o_o _Must...resist...urge...to....EAT....ALIVE...!_

Akugi #54

L "Sat him down?" (Reaches into pocket and pulls out a five-layer fudge cake with strawberries on it)

Matt: o_o; "Uh....y-yeah..."

L: (Munch) "Something wrong, Matt?"

Matt: "Is there another dimension in your pockets? How did you fit that in there without even smudging the frosting?"

L: C_C "Let's just say that I am a very talented man."

Matt: "..." (Wonders what exactly that has to do with being able to fit a five-layer cake in one's pocket—can talent defy the laws of phsyics?)

Akugi #55

Matt: (Frowns) "As soon as I sat Near down, he just shot me, j-just like that." (Makes shooting motion)

L: (Blinks) "Bang?"

Matt: ^_^; "Believe it or not, no bang."

L: "Aww..." (Disappointed)

Akugi #56

Mello: _If Matt _wants_ to be his friend instead of mine...then nobody wants me and Matt to stay friends except for me._

L: (Pats his head) "I'll be your friend, Mello-kun."

Mello: (Twitch) "Is it some requirement to be friends for the older person to pat the younger person on the head? And..." o.o; "H-how the hell did you answer my THOUGHTS?!" (Thoroughly disturbed...after all, he thinks some pretty blunt things sometimes...)


	15. Look

**In Charge**

**Chapter 15 – Look**

By Threshie

AN: Phew, rolling right along with chapter 15! It's always interesting seeing what kinds of predictions people have for the plot in their reviews. I'll do my best to make sure the actual story doesn't disappoint! :)

Trivia: Chapter 14's title referred to Mello's realizations; first he realized Matt had been shot, then realized Matt was still alive, then realized Near was gone, and _then_ realized that Near and Matt are (he assumes) already best friends. It also comes from Matt realizing that L was back, and that Near was kidnapped by Mikami. It even refers to Near realizing he's in an unfamiliar place and that (_he_ assumes) Matt is dead.

Wow, chapter 14 had a _lot_ of realization, actually... (Blinks) It's more aptly-named than I intended!

Okay, let's get back to chapter 15, shall we? I believe Near was just trying to make a phone call...

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

With L on the case, they would find Near in no time, Mello told himself as he sat down on the chair beside Matt's bed. The hospital room, which was number 290, looked identical to Near's except that the IV rack was on the other side of the bed. _And of course there aren't plastic army men and a toy dinosaur in here,_ the blonde thought drolly, glancing at Matt. The redhead had been quiet since Dr. Lidner arrived, and was now looking sadly at the bandages on his chest, lost in thought.

"Matt, did this Mikami guy do anything that might hint he'd end up kidnapping Near?" Mello asked, wishing he'd brought in the rest of the chocolate bars. Chocolate always helped him think better; he figured it was the same with L and all of the candy and pastries he ate. He'd dropped the bar he was eating when he found Matt, though... _It wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind at the time. _

Matt sighed, shaking his head slightly.

"This's out of the blue...he always acted kind of suspicious, though."

Mello frowned, propping his elbow on one knee and leaning his chin on that hand.

"Suspicious how?"

"Um...I-I'm not sure how to decribe it. He said his bedside manners weren't great 'cause he's from Japan and not used to talking to English-speaking patients, but he speaks English just fine." He glanced up at Mello, a hesitant look. _It's like he wants to say something else, but he's stopping himself...why?_

"You said Mikami hurt Near doing some test," the blonde prodded, making a mental note to find out what Matt wasn't telling him. "What kind of test? Near seemed okay when I saw him last—he was even getting up and walking around..."

"He and Dr. Lidner called it a rebound tenderness test," Matt said, a bit angrily. Mello glanced at him sidelong when he caught the tone. _I guess if Near's his friend, he doesn't like anybody hurting him. I _hate_ it when people hurt Matt, so...I know how that goes._ Yet more proof that Matt was slipping away from him...he didn't like that at all.

If he had been in charge at the time and some test had hurt Near, though, he would have been against it too. _I'm not sure why I care...it seems wrong somehow. Probably just because he looks like a little kid..._ That had to be it. It wasn't like he cared if Near was unhappy or anything...

After a long pause, Matt added quietly, "To do it Mikami had to press on Near's stomach. I don't know what he did, but..." He bit his lip, "I-it hurt him so much he could barely breathe for a few minutes. I don't care if Dr. Lidner said it's a real test—doing something that hurts a patient like that can't be something that's allowed!"

"He probably did it wrong or something. Matt," Mello looked the other boy in the eye, "You aren't telling me something about Mikami's suspicious behavior. You were going to say something else, weren't you?" Matt stared back, eyes widening slightly.

"I-I...yeah," he broke the gaze to look at the floor, troubled. _He can't lie to me if I look him in the eye; Matt, you never change._ He was glad for that at the moment.

Impatiently, he prodded, "So?"

Matt closed his eyes, sighing.

"I thought at the time maybe I was just being overprotective or something, so I didn't really...say anything, but...I got this creepy feeling that Mikami was kind of possessive about Near," he said glumly.

Mello blinked at this, unsure what to say. He hadn't expected that kind of answer at all. _Possessive as in...what? I hope to hell he doesn't mean what I'm _thinking_he means..._ Near wasn't a child, but he looked so much like one...

"Th-that's all I was gonna say before," Matt mumbled, looking sadly at his bandages again. _He looks pale...I hope he's not in pain. Damned Mikami!_ Mello would never forgive the man for injuring his friend.

"...What does Mikami look like?" He asked, deciding not to comment on the possibility of Mikami being a pedophile—which was what he was beginning to suspect. Whether he was or not, he was still going down, and Mello had never even met the man, so a description was more important at the moment. _I wouldn't want to strangle the wrong guy._

"Japanese, black hair with bangs and a little ponytail," Matt listed flatly; he seemed to be getting quieter and quieter the more they talked about this. Mello couldn't tell if it was because he didn't feel well, or because he was worried about Near... The redhead sighed, adding faintly, "He wears glasses, and he's pretty tall—about six feet tall."

Mello's mind had already formed a mental image based on the description. It couldn't have looked exactly like Mikami, but anybody he saw who looked similar to what he was imagining wasn't going to have a chance to get away from him once they knew where he was.

_L will find you. L can find anybody._

As if on cue, his cell phone rang. The text on the screen announced that it was a restricted number—caller ID hid the actual digits from him. L's phone was always on the "restricted" list in order to prevent the people he called from tracing his location through his number...

Flipping the phone open and pressing it to his ear, Mello asked quickly, "Did you find him?"

"Mello?" Eyes widening, the blonde sat up in his chair with a start. _It's...!_

"Near?!" The small, quiet voice on the other end of the line was unmistakeable—how could he be calling, though? _Did he escape on his own? How did he find a phone to call from? Why one with a restricted number?_

Matt glanced at him sharply at the sound of the white-haired boy's name, blue eyes full of as many questions as Mello's own must have held at the moment. He stayed quiet, though, listening intently to the side of the conversation that he could hear.

"How are you calling? Did you get away from Mikami?" Mello asked, glancing at the redhead as he spoke. _He's alive, at least. He sounds okay..._

"There isn't any time," Near whispered quickly; there was a stiff tone to his voice, like he was forcing himself to stay calm. It made him sound colder than usual, almost monotone... "Mikami could return any moment. Listen carefully...I am locked inside a large house with old-fashioned furniture. All of the windows are covered...I don't know where he has taken me."

"Can you go look out any of the windows?" Mello frowned, wondering again how he had gotten hold of a phone to call from. There really wasn't time to discuss it, but he was very curious. _If he can look out a window and give me even the color of the house across the street, I might be able to find him._

"I--yes--just a moment..." Near answered shortly, cutting himself off several times. He was obviously thinking aloud—there wasn't time to consider his wording before he spoke. Mello heard rustling on the other end of the line as the smaller boy moved—toward a window he presumed.

Click.

_...?!_

"Near? Near! H-hey...don't hang up!" Staring at his phone incredulously, the blonde cursed under his breath; because the number was restricted, not only was it impossible to try calling Near back, but it was also impossible to trace his location with it! _Dammit! Why did he hang up?!_

Mikami must have returned, the logical part of his mind told him.

That didn't make the emotional part feel like swearing any less.

"What happened?" Matt asked anxiously, looking at the phone too. "How'd he call you? I-is he okay?"

"He sounded okay," Mello answered in an irritated tone, shoving the cell phone back into the pocket of his leather pants. "He said Mikami's got him locked up in his house or something—what a creep! The number's restricted, but I'm gonna go see if L knows any way to get around that and trace it anyway." He stood, frowning. "After what happened last time, I don't really want to leave you here by yourself, Matt..."

"Don't worry about me," the redhead said unhappily, "Y-you might have a way to find Near! You've gotta find him, before Mikami..." He trailed off, shaking his head. _Yeah, you don't have to say it,_ Mello thought grimly, _I get what you're talking about._

Pulling the phone back out, the blonde punched one of the speed-dial buttons.

"I'll call L first." _I was going to call him anyway—now I can give him the information Near gave me, for whatever it's worth. Large house, old-fashioned furniture...curtains. That isn't much to go on, dammit..._

* * *

Breathing seemed too loud.

Near did his best to be silent, peering out from around the chair. He had been about to look out a window as Mello had asked him to when the distant slam of a door told him that Mikami was back. He hadn't really had a plan beyond finding a phone and calling Mello...so he had had to make one up on the spot.

Closing the phone, he'd sat it back on the desk and, as the door across the room was being unlocked, crawled beneath the big piece of furniture, pulling the chair back into place after him.

_He will find me easily,_ the white-haired boy told himself, watching as someone stepped inside. From his hiding spot, he could only see the person from the waist down, but the nurse's uniform told him that it must be Mikami.

Although he would rather stay hidden, it was all right if Mikami found him. He'd planned on that. _If he finds me, he might be angry...but not nearly as angry as he would have been if he had caught me using his phone to call for help. This way it looks like I came into this room to hide, not to find the phone. Hopefully he doesn't look at the list of calls the phone has made recently..._

It was a gamble, but he was fairly confident that Mikami had no reason to use his phone anytime soon. After all, why else would he leave it at home when he went out?

Mikami held a brown case in the crook of his arm; it had no markings to indicate what was inside, but had silver hinges on one edge and lines down the middle that suggested it split in half. It was thin, almost as thin as a notebook, and roughly the same size. Near found himself leaning forward slightly to try and see what it was.

_Focus,_ he caught himself, shrinking down into as small a ball as he could again. The chair was black; his pale coloring would have worked against him in any hiding place, but especially with something so dark to contrast it right in front of him. _It's all right if he finds me, though...I must stay calm if he does. It's all right, _he reassured himself, _If I don't attempt to escape, he may let his guard down and give me the chance to get away._

He was beginning to reconsider how safe it would be for the nurse to find him, though; Mikami had a very familiar black pistol in his other hand. It was held at the ready, aiming slowly left and right as the tall man undoubtedly looked in the same directions. _Matt..._ Near bit his lip, trying not to remember the only time he had seen that gun fired. _No...pay attention to what is going on. Mikami. Focus on Mikami._

He thought carefully of what was going on—what was wrong with this picture?

_He thinks that I am still in the back room,_ the white-haired boy realized, _Why is he searching with his gun drawn?_ He frowned to himself; that definitely didn't make sense. Besides the fact that Mikami didn't know he was even in this room, there was also the fact that the nurse couldn't consider him even a little threatening, or he would have at least tied him up when he left. _I can't be the one he is worried about. He must think that someone else might arrive to rescue me...?_

With as little information as he'd been able to give Mello, the chances of that were pretty slim. Hopefully he could trace Mikami's cell phone's location, though. _Mello is smart; he'll definitely think of that. But Mikami doesn't know that I made a call—what is making him so suspicious?_

His captor cautiously checked each corner of the room; his behavior seemed nervous. He turned and looked behind him a lot, and his finger was poised on the trigger... After a few long, silent moments, Near watched the hand tuck the gun into the pocket on the same side. The feet started for the table.

The table was further away than where Mikami had been standing before; now Near could see everything but his head and neck. The white-haired boy held his breath; the stillness was heavy and expectant. Someone had to make a sound sometime...

The brown case made a very loud clicking sound as Mikami placed it on the table, shattering the heavy stillness at last. Turning around, he said gently, "You can come out now—it's safe."

Near held as still as he could, but his mind was in constant motion, flying through thought after thought, queestion after question. _So he thought that there was an intruder while he was gone...I wonder if someone tried to get in? No, I would have heard it...unless it happened before I woke up. Perhaps he is just extra-cautious...after all, he didn't find any intruders. He had the gun drawn for them, not for me. _

_He doesn't seem angry at me—why? Why does he think that an intruder was in the house? The doors are locked—no one could have gotten in or out. Perhaps there was evidence of tampering on the outside of the door, or the lock...? I can't see where his eyes are looking, but if he is speaking to me here instead of going to the room with the bed, he must know that I am here...unless he is assuming...?_

Stepping closer, Mikami's face disappeared from view, then lowered down into sight again as the man knelt beside the desk. He was frowning sternly now, as he pulled the chair out of the way and leaned down to meet Near's eyes. The small glasses had slipped down his nose, and his dark, slanted eyes peered over the tops of them intently.

"And just what do we think we're doing under here?"

Near stared back at him, offering no reply. He could hear his heart pounding loudly in his chest, but forced himself to stay calm as the tall man took hold of his wrists and pulled him out from under the desk. _Nothing has changed—you knew that he would find you. If Mello can trace the number... _Despite the stern look on his face, the nurse was very careful to lift him to his feet in a way that didn't hurt. _His whole demeanor just changed—a moment ago he wasn't angry at all..._ Maybe it had been an act to get him to come out of hiding, though.

Near looked at the floor quietly, wondering what would happen to him now. He felt small suddenly; the nurse was much taller than him, at least a foot taller, and the hands around his wrists felt larger than they looked. _He is much stronger than me. He could hurt me if he wanted to...but his behavior makes no sense. I can't decide if he intends to harm me or not..._

"You have to be more careful," Mikami told him, letting go of the white-haired boy's wrists to cross his arms. "Walking around is good for you, but only if you have someone to escort you—do _not_ leave your bed again without a nurse, do you understand? We can't have you reinjuring yourself..."

_So revenge isn't your motive, then, if you for some reason care whether I am injured or not... _Near blinked, wondering why he was acting like they were still in the hospital. Was he going to pretend that shooting Matt and stealing Near had never even happened? His words weren't the only strange things, though.

_He sounds odd..._ There was a strange tone to his voice. It made his words sound insincere, stiff... _Suspicious,_ Near thought uneasily. _He is behaving as he did when I first came to the hospital. I didn't feel this suspicious of him when we spoke in the hallway after I returned from Intensive Care...but now it's back again. _He couldn't explain what was making him feel so uneasy; something about Mikami felt _wrong_, and he was realizing that it had felt wrong since he'd first met the man. _That is why I didn't want to be alone with him...or even to have him in the room at all. I thought that I just disliked him as a person...or because he seemed condescending toward Matt..._

"Do we understand each other, Mr. Kennedy?" The nurse was saying sternly, looking irritated. "Are you even listening to me?"

Near nodded slightly, looking down at the toes of his socks. He really wasn't listening, but it didn't matter—Mikami was just talking to him like he was his patient again.

_I thought that perhaps his excuse that he was a foreigner was the reason, but...no, there is something wrong with this man. His behavior makes no sense...sometimes people are irrational, but this goes beyond that. He seems intelligent, but he is doing something extremely stupid by abducting me—and now he doesn't seem aware that we aren't still in the hospital. Where have I encountered this kind of behavior before?_ He'd covered dozens of cases, cases with criminals of all types...

"You have to take better care of yourself—if you don't recover, I'll have failed at my job," Mikami told him, frowning. Apparently finished with his lecture, he took hold of one of Near's wrists again and tugged on it, heading for the room with the bed. Near frowned, too, and followed slowly, his mind searching furiously for the term that he knew matched Mikami.

_I have seen this...not in person, but in recordings. I know this..._

The tall man lifted him back onto the bed, sighing.

"Please stay there and call me if you need anything. Whenever your brother gets back, I will direct him to your room to see you." He sounded vaguely irritated by the last part; with a final glance around the room to see that everything was in order, he nodded and disappeared out the door again, closing it behind him.

_Mentally ill._

Near reached for the dinosaur, which he had left laying on the pillow, and hugged it tightly to his chest. _He referred to my "brother"...he meant Matt. _If Mikami didn't remember that he had shot Matt—that Matt was _dead_—then something had to be wrong with his mind.

Though the name of the exact type of illness still escaped him, everything seemed to click into place when Near thought of his interactions with Mikami and viewed his behavior as mental. _He seemed suspicious from the start. Off. And he acted flighty--as soon as Matt and I suggested that he wasn't doing his job correctly, he attempted to explain it away as not his fault and make us forget it. When I insisted that he had been wrong when he misdiagnosed me...and Matt continued to say that he had made a mistake..._

He sighed; thinking of Matt hurt. He was already exhausted, and forcing himself to be detached from the situation was even more of a toll. _It's all right...just think of the facts. This is just another case..._ Telling himself that seemed to help a little; he focused carefully on the facts that he knew. He thought of what could have caused the situation...and possible solutions to it.

_From the looks of his home, and judging by his behavior at work, he is a perfectionist...to the point of imperfections being unacceptable. So, when Matt and I created a flaw that he couldn't erase, he couldn't handle that. It made him snap. _Mikami must have already been in a fragile mental state, for such a small thing to tip him over the edge. It was disturbing how easily it had been done...

_If we hadn't done it, someone else would have instead,_ he thought darkly. _The other nurses must not have realized, either, because his work was impeccable...and because if his behavior seemed odd, he would just say that he wasn't used to working with English-speaking people. This doesn't explain how he has a silenced gun in his possession, or why he would abduct me, but most of the pieces of the puzzle are fitting together..._

The picture they were making wasn't a pretty one.

--End Chapter 15

* * *

AN: The plot thickens (again)! Hope you enjoyed "In Charge" chapter 15. There you have it...Mikami's risk-taking makes no sense because he isn't thinking with sense at the moment—he's cracked! Being the prisoner of an insane perfectionist-control-freak-possibly-pedo nurse has to be scary, especially when you're too weak to really try and escape. (Gulp)

Meanwhile, Mello's been given quite a puzzle of his own...is there any way to track down Near's location from the vague information their conversation on the phone revealed? For that matter, is there any way to track a restricted phone number? Stay tuned for chapter 16!

Trivia: Matt's hospital room number, 290, is the month and year of his birthday: February, 1990. Also, Near's thoughts about "the pieces of the puzzle" fitting are a nod to his first scene in the canon, in which he was putting together a puzzle while listening to Roger.

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 15**

Akugi #57

Narrator: He'd dropped the bar he was eating when he found Matt, though...

Mello: _It wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind at the time._ (Thinks of chocolate syrup; sighs dreamily)

Matt: -_-; "Are you even listening to me?"

Akugi #58

Mello: "...What does Mikami look like?"

Matt: (Thinks very hard) "Let's see...he's human, male, and has a nametag on that says 'Mikami'." (Nods)

Mello: (Facefault) "That tells me NOTHING I didn't already know!"

Matt: u_u; "Hey, creative writing was never my thing—why do you think I PLAY the games instead of making 'em?"

Akugi #59

Mello: L will find you. L can find anybody.

Narrator: As if on cue, his cell phone rang.

Mello: (Opens phone) "Did you--"

L: (Panicked) "Mello, have you seen Watari?! I think that I forgot him at the train station, and now I can't find him again!"

Mello: "...." _I stand corrected...and dumbfounded, too._

Akugi #60

Narrator: He sighed; thinking of Matt hurt.

Near: (Twitch) "Why can't he have a nice, soothing color scheme like everyone else? The moment his garish stripes and red and blue and black and white color scheme come to mind, my head feels like it is going to explode!"

Matt: ;_; "I-I can't help it if I like stripes...and, you forgot the yellow in the color scheme. I usually wear the goggles, remember?"

Near: (Twitch) "I refuse to add another color to this headache-inducing mess--you haven't worn goggles in this story in ten chapters."

Matt: (Gasp) "Has it really been that long?!"

Threshie: ^^; "Believe it or not, it has! And for another milestone, this fic has now had 60 Akugis—wowee!"


	16. Hide and Seek

**In Charge**

**Chapter 16 – Hide and Seek**

By Threshie

AN: Think I'll once more save most of the talking for the bottom.

Trivia: The title for chapter 15 comes from Mikami's search of the room, as well as from Near finally looking at him and seeing him for what he really is—unstable!

On to the chapter!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"Yes?" L's voice was as calm as ever on the other side of the phone.

Mello felt very flighty in comparison, as he said hurriedly, "L, Near called me!"

"What?" The great detective sounded much more attentive suddenly. "How? What did he say?"

"Not much," the blonde frowned, "Said he's locked inside Mikami's place and doesn't know where it is because all the windows are covered up. I'm not sure how he got hold of a phone—he couldn't explain because he had to hang up suddenly."

"...Near is smart enough not to let Mikami catch him attempting to escape," L said after a brief, thoughtful silence. "He would do the same for being caught making a phone call. Mello, the police are skilled but I would have much more confidence in them with you along to head the operation. Would you please go with them to retrieve Near?"

"Huh? You mean you know where he is?!" Mello practically shouted, eyes widening. Beside him, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Matt jump at the sudden increase in volume. _I guess I should have expected this—L's the best detective in the world. Even for him, though, that was _fast_!_

"Dr. Lidner gave me his address immediately when I told her that Matt claims he is the one who shot him," L explained mildly, unfazed by his shouting. "From the staff's description of this man, he is intelligent enough to cover his tracks. However, his behavior suggests otherwise...he didn't even consider the security cameras in the room when he shot Matt. After seeing footage of the incident, I'm inclined to think he decided to do this very impulsively."

_Footage..._ Mello felt anger burning in his chest again, imagining Mikami shooting Matt. _I'm glad L's doing the technical part of this investigation...I'm not sure I could stand watching a recording of that. _

"Having obviously not taken the cameras into consideration, and believing that he has killed Matt, Mikami thinks that there is no evidence connecting him to the crime," L concluded. "He has no reason that he knows of not to return to his own apartment."

_Unless he's an idiot, he _must_ know they've linked him to this,_ Mello thought, making an irritated little sound in the back of his throat,_ He disappeared from the hospital at the same time as Near and everything! Near...now that I know where Mikami is, I need to get there before he does anything to Near..._ He didn't like to even think things like that. Nobody deserved what his imagination was coming up with...

"What are you waiting for," he waved his hand in a 'hurry up!' gesture, ignoring the fact that L couldn't see him at the moment, "Give me the address already!"

"Right," L sounded like he was smiling. He read off the address. It was short; probably an apartment. "Mello...please be careful. Mikami is armed, and he obviously doesn't have any qualms about shooting people." Mello glanced at Matt, who was looking tired but stubbornly watching and listening to him anyway. _I'm not letting him shoot me, too._

"I will," he answered shortly, "Tell the police to meet me there." Snapping the phone closed, he shoved it into his pocket and turned to Matt. "L found them."

"Y-yeah..." The redhead looked both glad for and apprehensive of the news. _He's probably worrying that Mikami's already done something to Near. Ugh...no, I can't think like that! I'll get him before he can do anything!_

"I'm gonna go get Near back," the blonde said, adding needlessly, "You stay put, got it?"

Matt smiled half-heartedly at this, nodding. He knew as well as Mello that he couldn't have come along if he wanted to; being told to stay behind was just Mello's way of saying 'it's okay that you can't come—I want you to stay here where it's safe anyway.'

Without another word, the blonde turned and sprinted out the door. _Let me be in time...!_

* * *

_I feel ill..._ Near winced; reaching for the blanket only made his stomach throb worse. Giving up and hugging his arm to his chest again, the white-haired boy reassured himself that he wasn't in any worse shape than he had been when he was placed back into the bed earlier. _The medication from the IV has just worn off...this is how I would have felt from the start if they hadn't been giving me anything for the pain. _

Surgery wasn't exactly the kindest thing to do to someone's body...the incision and stitches were throbbing, but his whole abdomen felt achy to the touch too. To make matters worse, his left hip was aching from when he had crawled off of the bed and landed on it earlier.

_I wonder if Mikami is making me suffer on purpose...?_ If he was, it wasn't going to work. He didn't relish being in pain, but he had too firm a grip on his actions to let it get to him. _I wonder why he has brought me here,_ he thought flatly for what felt like the hundredth time. _Why steal me away and hide me here? Perhaps his mind is so unstable that he doesn't even know, himself..._

It seemed awfully planned for something spontaneous, though. There was medical equipment there and everything... Then again, Mikami was a nurse—he had easy access to medical equipment due to his job, and could easily have brought some home with him.

Why he would go to so much effort to make the atmosphere match a hospital's was another mystery. _He seems to be trying to care for me as if we are still at the hospital...he must be delusional to not recognize that his own home isn't his workplace. Unless he knows and somehow has convinced himself that if he acts likes we are at the hospital, I will believe him...?_

How tiring... He stared dully at the ceiling, giving up on that train of thought for now. It didn't matter, anyway. Whatever Mikami wanted him for, Near's goal was the same: not to let him go through with it.

_Forget his motives or how he got me here--I must focus on the present,_ he decided. _If Mello managed to trace my call, he may already be on his way here...I shouldn't rely on that, though. I need a plan for what to do...what am I _able_ to do?_

Making a run for it wasn't an option—even if the doors had been unlocked and Mikami wouldn't have stopped him, his current physical condition would have. Staying put wasn't an option, either. _With his mental illness, there is no telling what he may do to me. Besides, I don't want to stay here with him._ He closed his eyes, trying not to pay any attention to the fact that his breathing sounded shaky. That was because each breath hurt...

_...I wish that Matt was here._

It was an unreasonable thought. Matt was dead, and wishing that he was there didn't change anything...but Near was exhausted. His grip on his emotions, on separating logic from his own desires, was slipping... _I...must think of a way to escape Mikami. If Matt was here, he would only...be in danger. No, Matt isn't able to be in danger anymore—he is dead. Matt is dead._ He wanted badly to curl into a ball, hide under the blanket, and forget about everything had happened in the past few days. Moving hurt too much to attempt it, though...

So he lay there, stomach throbbing hotly, breathes coming shallowly and shakily, and waited. He couldn't do anything but wait right now...

Try as he might, he couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting back to Matt. _For a few days...I had a friend. Probably the only friend I will ever have..._ Certainly the only friend he would ever have if he didn't make it out of this alive. Pain wasn't enough to kill him, though; Mikami would have to help things along if he wanted to kill Near. _Kill me, care for me...I still can't tell what he intends to do._

The sound of the door opening roused him from a pain-hazed half-sleep some time later. Footsteps made their way over to his bedside.

"As I thought," he heard Mikami murmur softly. Too tired to muster up much reaction, Near ignored him...until he felt a hand on his arm. _Wh-what...?_ Opening his eyes, he looked up at Mikami wearily. The tall man had what looked like a very large rubber band in one hand, and Near's right wrist gripped gently in the other.

Exhausted as he was, the white-haired boy forced himself to ask, "Wh-what are you doing...?" The words came out flat; he was simply too tired to put any emphasis behind them. _If there was anything in that sentence that will make him explode and go psychotic, so be it. I am too tired to argue at this point..._ He had kept from speaking until now in case he said something that might make Mikami's unstable mind tilt toward the violent side as it had with Matt, but he wasn't just going to lie there when the man obviously planned to do something to him...

"I have to put a needle in your arm so that I can give you something for the pain," the nurse explained, speaking much more nicely than he had done in the hospital. It was unnerving unto itself for him to be so gentle, even if that wasn't necessarily a symptom of mental illness...

Rolling Near's sleeve up to his elbow, he slipped the white-haired boy's hand through the band and rolled it up onto his arm until it felt impossibly tight. Reaching out of Near's view, somewhere up behind the head of the bed, he retrieved a slender needle and murmured, "Please hold still; this will only hurt for a moment."

_Needle...IV,_ Near acknowledged vaguely, eyes falling heavily closed again. _How do I know he is only putting pain medication into it...?_ He was too tired _not_ to hold still, though.

The sharp jab of the needle was the last thing that he remembered.

* * *

Mello leapt off of the motorcycle before the police cruisers behind him even had a chance to stop. Uniformed men scrambled out of the vehicles, hurrying to catch up as the blonde sprinted for the door. The building ahead of him was squat and shoddy; its three stories were broken into cramped apartments, tiny balconies of bare metal tubing hanging out from each one that wasn't on the ground floor.

_Near's in here somewhere...somewhere with curtains._ He frowned; none of the apartments could have been large enough inside to match the white-haired boy's description. He had said it was a large house. _Nothing about this place could be described as "large"..._

According to the numbers in the address L had given him, Mikami's apartment was on the second floor.

"Hurry up!" The blonde shouted at the police, who were only now coming inside the door. _That creep could be doing who-knows-what to Near! _If anything like that happened to Near, he knew that Matt would never forgive himself for not being there to prevent it. If not for Near's sake, he was going to stop Mikami for the redhead's.

Seeing that the cops were picking up their pace, the blonde turned and started up the stairwell, taking the steps two at a time. They soon emerged on the second floor, which was possibly even more run-down than the ground floor had been. Obviously this was a lower-class place where crimes occurred often; the doors all had multiple locks on them.

The commotion that a leather-clad teen leading a dozen police officers around should have caused was strangely absent, though; the tenants, if there were any, stayed inside their homes, and the hallways were eerily silent save for the team's footsteps.

The door to Mikami's apartment looked inconspicuous enough; it was plain and wooden, with a peephole built in at eye-height, a not-so-shiny doorknob and slightly peeling brown paint.

_This isn't right,_ Mello thought, as one of the cops set to work picking the lock—with Near as a possible hostage, they weren't going to announce their presence until they had to. _It's not like the place Near described at all—even though I can only see the outside and he's only seen the inside, this can't be right!_

"Police—freeze!" The cops filtered into the place single-file, guns drawn and held at the ready. Mello felt a sinking feeling, as he stepped inside and saw that the place was immaculate—and empty.

_I knew it—dammit! This is where L said to check—does this mean he was wrong?_ That didn't seem possible...no, he couldn't blame L. There was barely any information to go on—_that_ was the problem.

The team did a quick sweep of the apartment, but Mello already knew that it was empty. There wasn't even any furniture inside—it was as if someone had rented it just for show. _Maybe that's exactly what he did..._ He punched the wall beside the door, startling the cops. Ignoring both their reactions and the resulting stinging in his knuckles, he thought angrily, _Who am I kidding?! For all I know they could be in a hotel suite—or another damned _city_!_

"What should we do now, sir?" one of the cops spoke up cautiously; for such a delicate-statured person, Mello could still manage to be intimidating when he was angry. L had sent orders for them to listen to what he said, though, so they had to speak to him...

Gritting his teeth, the blonde said tightly, "Two of you go question the manager of this place about who rents this apartment. Ask how long since they've been here." Without wasting his time telling the rest of them to stand by, he headed outside, pulling out his cell phone on the way. Punching the button to speed-dial L, he waited impatiently while it rang. _Come on, come on...! This didn't work—tell me what else to do!_

"Mello," L acknowledged by way of greeting.

"L!" The blonde hissed back, barely able to contain his frustration enough to keep from shouting. "There's nobody here—it's empty!" He wasn't angry with L; more with himself for being unable to do anything more to help the situation. _I'm sure L's already checked everything he could possibly dig up on Mikami...what else? What else can be done?_

"...How odd. I was 70 percent certain that this was the more likely of the two possibilities." L sounded bemused now...but not too surprised.

"You mean there's another place to check besides here?" Mello demanded, frustrated. _Why didn't he tell me _all_ of the information before sending me off? _"Where?!"

"Not another place," the great detective corrected, sighing, "Another theory. Only two seemed reasonably probable—the one you tried to follow and this one. All of the statements from Mikami's coworkers and employers suggest he is a responsible, hard-working and intelligent individual. He does things perfectly, they say. His crime was not performed perfectly at all, though..."

"What does all of that _mean_?!" Mello snapped, frustrated. If he was in a calmer state of mind he would have immediately felt bad for talking to his mentor in such a tone, but right now the things that kept going through his mind were that Near was in the hands of someone who was quite possibly perverted, and that Matt was trusting _him_ to go save the white-haired boy in his stead. _We're wasting time! I need another place to go—tell me where to go, L!_

"My other theory is that he is mentally unstable, which explains his inconsistent behavior," L answered mildly, nonplussed by the outburst.

Hearing that made Mello's racing thoughts halt abruptly.

_Insane?_

"Oh, he's sick, all right," the blonde said darkly, wondering if this was L's idea of a joke, "Matt said he had a thing for Near." Well, it wasn't exactly what Matt had said, but it was how Mello had interpreted it... _Where did he get any evidence pointing to insanity, anyway?_

"...Thinking about things like that will only distract us from the task of retrieving him." The voice on the other end of the line sounded troubled despite his words—and serious, despite the odd theory he'd just thrown onto the table.

_There must be some logic behind him coming to this conclusion. I can't think like him—how can he think of Near and _not_ think of what could be happening to him? Every second we waste..._

"Mello, please check your phone for the record of Near's call," L interrupted his thoughts, sounding a bit anxious himself. "What is the number that he called from?"

_Number? There _wasn't_ any...oh! I got sent to that address so fast, I forgot that I was going to ask him about this!_

"Is there any way to trace the location of restricted calls?" Mello asked quickly; the question answered L's as well as a statement might have, and wasted less time.

"As long as it isn't specially encrypted like mine—which, for the number of any phone a nurse like Mikami may have, is highly unlikely," the detective answered, just as quickly. The conversation was rapid—each of them knew the conclusion that they were coming to without having to discuss it. "Mello--"

"I know, I know," the blonde said, already heading for the stairs, "I'll be right there!"

--End Chapter 16

* * *

AN: The story's winding down now. This is a transition-type chapter, so I apologize if it was a bit boring compared to the others. Things happened in it...but since Near and Matt are both so tired, Mello's running the show at the moment. No offense to him, of course. LOL.

I struggled to write this chapter, which is why it didn't get posted as fast as the others. Unlike my usual style of sitting down and writing it as it looks finalized, for this chapter I stayed up 'til 3:00 AM and wrote it out, so since I was sleepy while typing my wording wasn't as good and it was like a rough draft, thus I had to go over it about a dozen times. (Siiigh) If there are errors in here, it's because I've looked over it too many times to notice them anymore. You know what I'm talking about? The other trouble is that I'm writing about geniuses, and am not a genius myself, so if L and Mello aren't as brilliant as they should be, it's my fault not theirs. LOL.

Anyway...the meaning behind this chapter's title is probably pretty obvious by now. It's a very search-filled, back-and-forth feeling chapter. Poor Matt barely got to even be in it... (Sweatdrop) What do you think, guys—is Mikami a pedo or not? Does Mello care about Near or not? Are they going to find Near in time? I wonder what Matt thinks of all of this...

Okay, that's enough author's blah-blah for one chapter. Stay tuned for chapter 17!

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 16**

Akugi #61

Mello: "L found them."

Matt: (Smiles faintly) "Y-yeah..." (Twitch) _Is this _really_ the only word of dialogue I get this chapter? Whatever happened to this story starring me, anyway?_

Akugi #62

Near: (Trying to think of ways to escape) _...I wish that Matt was here. Then he could give me a piggyback ride out of here._

Akugi #63

Narrator:He punched the wall beside the door, startling the cops.

Mello: "ARGH!" (punches wall again...punches hole in wall...tears pieces of wall off...)

Cops: o_o; "S...sir?" (Afraid to speak for fear they'll join the wall in being broken up)

Akugi #64

L: "My other theory is that he is mentally unstable, which explains his inconsistent behavior."

Mello: "Oh, he's sick, all right—he thinks _Near's_ attractive. I mean, come on, with _Matt_ around he decides to hit on Near? He _must_ have a few screws loose!"

L: "..."


	17. Adrenaline

**In Charge**

**Chapter 17 – Adrenaline**

By Threshie

AN: Welcome to chapter 17! :) I'll talk at the bottom; seems to work better than blabbing a lot up here. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

A week ago, everything had been different.

Matt let his gaze drift across the ceiling, absently noting tiny spots in the paint, bumps in the shiny surface... He was tired, but he couldn't sleep right now. There were too many worries and confusing thoughts going through his head.

He couldn't help but feel that, somehow, Near's kidnapping had been his fault. It wasn't like he was the one who gave Mikami the idea or anything, but maybe if he hadn't antagonized the man so much, he wouldn't have thought of shooting Matt, and then the redhead could have at least _fought_ with him a little to protect Near, instead of going down in one shot.

_Just like that—bang. Only it really didn't make much sound at all..._ His eyes slid to the side, toward the door. It was slightly ajar; Mello had left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten to close it.

A week ago, he had never been shot before.

_Hurts...but how can I sit and feel sorry for myself when that creep might be doing who-knows-what to Near?_ That really ate at him, that the person he had promised to take care of had been taken away so easily. It was even worse that it was Near, who seemed so childish and fragile. Near, who he had just started to become fond of...who he had begun to think of as a friend.

_He doesn't want your friendship,_ he reminded himself, sighing softly. At least Mello still cared about him, though he sometimes wasn't sure why. What did anybody that intelligent see in him? _I'm pretty much a nobody. I'm not as smart as L or Mello or Near, so I'm not much help to them...and now that Mikami shot me, I'm just dead weight for this situation. Useless._

He closed his eyes, letting blackness slip down over the lonely, spotless sight of the hospital room. _Let's face it, I was dead weight before I got shot, too. That's why Near turned me down—I'm not good enough to be his friend. I'm not good enough to be anybody's friend..._

A week ago, he had never felt as worthless as he would be feeling a week from then.

* * *

Near blinked, finding himself looking up at an unfamiliar ceiling. _Green...?_ He glanced to his left, where the spot of bright green that had caught his eye was, and stared. The dinosaur stood beside the bed, nearly eye-height, and seemed to stare back. It was standing on a familiar dark, polished tabletop.

He was in the fancily-furnished room he had gone into to find the phone, he realized, glancing over at the desk. The phone was still there, placed very neatly on the textbook so that the corners and angles of the edges matched exactly. _...I didn't have time to replace it that neatly before._ Had Mikami looked at it and realized that he had made a call?

The dinosaur wasn't the only thing on the table, he realized. That brown case that Mikami had carried in when he had interrupted Near's phone call was arranged neatly beside the plastic reptile, still closed. The white-haired boy wondered again what was inside...there were no markings on the outside to suggest the contents, and he wasn't familiar with the style of case...

"How are we feeling today?"

Near almost flinched at the sudden voice; wide-eyed, he looked to his right and realized that Mikami had been sitting there beside him not two feet away the whole time. _Was he watching me sleep? How could I have overlooked him?_ The fact that Near hadn't realized that he was there unnerved him. He had been completely silent...

Turning his head toward the tall man, Near looked at him stoically and remained silent. _What do you want with me? Why move my bed out into your living room?_

Mikami's slanted eyes had a strange softness to them, as he said unhappily, "I am sorry that you were left so long without an IV—I can't believe that a nurse would neglect their patient so terribly. When I find out who was responsible, I'm going to have words with them on your account."

_Do you really believe that there is anybody else around to be responsible for neglecting me except for you?_ Near asked him silently, continuing to stare without a word in reply aloud. He spoke like he really believed someone else should have been tending to Near while he wasn't there, but it was difficult to be sure. _He could be that delusional...or perhaps he is only lying. He is mentally ill, there isn't any doubt about that._

If anyone saw him now, it would have been easy for them to believe that Mikami's instability wasn't the dangerous kind. He seemed to be acting civil, even gentle. After seeing him shoot Matt as calmly as a normal person would toss out a piece of garbage, though, the white-haired boy wasn't about to start trusting the man, no matter how nice he acted. _I only want to be away from him._ _There must be _some_ reason that he has brought me here, and it cannot be an acceptable one for him to have to kidnap me to accomplish it... _

The pain was gone—Mikami must have actually put what he said he was putting into the IV. Near was grateful for that, at least. Going without pain medication had been pretty degrading on his ability to think clearly, especially when combined with exhaustion.

_I am not that tired now, either. How long have I been asleep...?_ With as exhausted as he had felt before, it had to have been at least an hour or two. That realization was upsetting, though...

_If Mello hasn't reached me by now, he can't have tracked the phone number. No one is coming for me..._ He sighed, breaking the stare with Mikami to close his eyes. He felt a lot better now that he wasn't in pain, but he still wasn't well enough to escape. At least, not with Mikami present. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to go anywhere...would the price of trying to run for it and failing be worth the gamble that the man might slip up and let him get away...?

_No...he could kill me. _"Like Matt," his mind wanted to add, but he hushed it; he couldn't afford to think of the redhead right now. _I must focus on the present...just keep focusing on it, and a solution will present itself._ He reopened his eyes to focus on the dinosaur, which smiled as toothily as ever from the tabletop, and frowned faintly. _I must wait until he leaves me unattended. Perhaps I can break a window, crawl through and escape that way..._

* * *

_Is he good at _everything_?_ Mello watched as L scrolled steadily through screen after screen of what, to him, appeared to be complete garbled gibberish, shaking his head in disbelief.

When he had arrived at the police station where L was doing the technical side of the investigation, the black-haired man had already had several cords plugged into the front of one of the computers. One was attached to a tiny handheld device of some kind, and the other he had immediately plugged into Mello's cell phone through the micro USB port on the bottom.

A few keystrokes later, the great detective's usual intense stare was focused on the computer programming behind the operating system of the phone. Mello had watched over his shoulder for the past five minutes while he scrolled rapidly through screen after screen of symbols, numbers and letters.

"Hmm...as I thought, the caller's number encryption is fairly substandard," the black-haired man murmured, selecting a lengthy string of symbols. Pulling up another program entirely, he pasted the string into it and pressed the "okay" button in the lower right side of the screen. The software flew into motion; the symbols flurried in the box, blinking rapidly through an array of letters and numbers, before stopping abruptly in the very familiar form of seven digits.

A phone number.

_He got a phone number from all of that?!_ If ever Mello started to take his mentor's talents for granted, things like this always reminded him of how brilliant L truly was. Computer programming and encryption weren't even specialties of his...hell, the police computers were PCs and L almost always used a Macintosh. He seemed to know the keyboard shortcuts for copying, pasting and switching windows, though, even on an unfamiliar machine.

_L could probably do anything,_ the blonde decided, watching anxiously as the great detective pasted the phone number into yet another program. The handheld device that was still plugged in beside Mello's phone blinked on, a tiny blue LED glowing on the front.

"Mello, listen carefully," L said without looking up from the computer. Not waiting for a confirmation that Mello was actually listening, he continued quickly, "I'm inputting the phone number into this GPS unit for you. I'll give the address to the police as well, but I want you to go on ahead of them." The handheld GPS blinked its blue light again, flickering as the data streamed into its memory.

_So you're worried about Mikami doing something to Near, too,_ Mello thought, watching grimly. That must be the reason he was being sent ahead—if not for being so concerned about that, the blonde was sure that L's cautious nature wouldn't allow him to send any of his pupils into a situation where the criminal was armed and still at large. Their jobs had to do with solving crimes already committed, not preventing ones that were _being_ committed...

_That's fine...I know how to handle people with guns. Besides, if I'm not there first, how am I going to take him down for what he did to Matt?_

Something flying at his head snapped him out of his thoughts.

Without thinking, he reached up and caught it deftly in one hand. Blinking, he realized that it was the GPS unit; L had tossed it at him. A red point blinked on the screen, with a slender line leading away from it until it reached the edge of the display. _Just follow the red line and I'm there...alright!_

"Please hurry, but be careful" L said quietly, looking very solemn. He had stood when he tossed the GPS, and now had his hands shoved into his pockets. "I'll send the police after you as soon as possible. Go."

Mello nodded quickly, turning and dashing out the door. _It's up to me...! _He reached the motorcycle in moments, and not long after that the roar of the engine filled his ears as he sped away, chasing the red point that glimmered at the edge of the screen.

_I'm coming, Mikami, and I won't give you a chance to shoot me!_

* * *

"Take off your shirt." Mikami's demeanor had switched from gentle back to stern and serious in the brief silence. Near stared at him, caught off-guard by such a blunt command. Why was he saying such a thing?

No, the reason didn't matter—the answer was going to be the same regardless.

"No," he said flatly, frowning. _I don't care if you believe I am your patient—I refuse to undress for you._ He didn't even like to undress in front of people he _did_ know well...it had been fortunate that he was only half-conscious when the doctors had undressed him at the hospital, or he would have probably put up a fight. And that had been for medical professionals, when he had actually needed their help...there was no way he was taking any clothing off for an insane kidnapper.

"You have to," the nurse insisted, that stiff tone returning to his voice. He seemed to fall back to being stoic any time something displeased him or someone didn't do what he wanted them to. "I need to examine your stitches."

_So that is his line of reasoning...or his excuse, anyhow._ Now that he was awake and thinking clearly again, Near was beginning to feel very anxious about this whole situation. Not that he'd been enjoying it before...but he had been so stunned by everything that had happened and so intent on focusing on a solution that he'd never considered how much danger he was actually in until now. _He could do anything he wanted to me..._

The question was, what did he plan to do if Near did take his shirt off?

_He will probably insist that he has to touch me to examine the injury._ He felt cold suddenly. _I don't want him touching me. Not after he has been watching me so intently..._

"I do not have to, and I refuse to," he said as firmly as he could, looking Mikami right in the eye. When it came to stare-downs, his only superior was L himself_. _Staring at people seemed to announce confidence, and when Near bothered to actually look at people they more often than not got intimidated. He wasn't sure what he could do about it if Mikami tried to force him to do anything, but he did know that removing any of his clothing wasn't an acceptible option.

_I cannot do anything to deter him, though..._ Making excuses wouldn't work; if he said he couldn't take the shirt off, he was sure that Mikami would jump at the chance to "help" him.

"Mr. Kennedy, the pain you were in this morning could be the start of an infection," Mikami said sternly, meeting his intense gaze straight-on. His sharp look actually made Near feel uneasy this time...he felt like he was being scrutinized closely, even while the tall man was in the midst of arguing with him. "If you don't stop being so difficult and remove your shirt, I will have to remove it for you."

Near carefully betrayed no reaction to the threat, instead glaring even more intently into the nurse's eyes. It was all a show now—he wasn't confident at all about standing his ground. He was afraid of what was about to happen--because regardless of whether he acted or not he was now sure that _something_ was going to happen. Mikami was going to do something. He did everything he could to hide that suspicion and stare his captor down. _Don't you dare attempt anything._

Mikami's eyes narrowed; for a long moment, he sat perfectly still, eyes locked with his white-haired captive's.

_Don't try it._

As if in reply to the thought, Mikami suddenly reached for him, grabbing the collar of his pajama shirt.

_Don't...!_

He already had the top button of Near's shirt undone by the time the small boy could react; without thinking, he scrambled off of the bed in the opposite directon of Mikami, crawling sideways so fast that he swiped the dinosaur away with one arm and landed roughly on his back on the tabletop. _What am I doing? What is _he_ doing...?_

His thoughts were short and confused; he struggled to sit up, realizing that his right wrist was stinging, hot...wet? Looking quickly at it in bewilderment, he saw that he had yanked the IV needle out of his arm. It bled badly, shocking crimson against the white sleeve...

"What are you doing?!" Mikami sounded alarmed and angry. He was on his feet, going around the bed to be able to reach Near. "You're hurting yourself—stop! If you hurt yourself it will be _my_ fault, you know!"

_All of this is your fault!_ The white-haired boy thought shakily, crawling backward toward the other side of the table. His hands were hot and slippery, the blood streaming from his wrist having gotten beneath him, but he didn't care anymore. _Get away from me...!_

Mikami was already at the other side of the table by the time he reached it. Struggling as the tall man grabbed him by the shoulders, Near tipped himself over the edge of the table. He jerked out of Mikami's grasp, felt fingertips brushing roughly across his bloodied arm, and then the floor was slamming into his stomach, knocking the air from his lungs.

_This...is stupid...have to get away..._ His mind was racing dizzily through snatches of thoughts, trying to come up with plans that he already knew were impossible. He lay there gasping for a breath, the dim sight of the carpet pressed against one cheek dancing with brightly colored motes as he felt Mikami's arms wrapping around him from behind. He wanted to struggle, but found that his body refused to move.

_No...d-don't touch me..._

The blood rushed in his ears, drowning out his captor's voice; he was saying something about "for your own good", or at least that's what it sounded like. There was the swaying feeling of being picked up, carried...and then the darkness swallowed him.

* * *

BEEP-BEEP!

Mello shot a glare at the honking car that he had just narrowly missed hitting head-on, swerving a little further into the right lane. The driver tossed him a rather obscene gesture and sped by, glaring back. The blonde paid her no more mind; he was alternating between watching the road and the GPS unit clutched tightly in one hand, and it was difficult enough to steer the motorcycle that way without interacting with the other people on the road. Thankfully there weren't many cars on this street...

He'd been cruising along for forty-five minutes now; the trail had led him halfway across town, miles away from the apartment they had first searched for Mikami, and into a quiet residential area uptown from the noise of the highway. That only made the motorcycle's roaring engine seem even louder, but Mello wasn't very concerned with disturbing the peace—he was on a mission.

_Not much further...a left!_ He swerved abruptly onto the outlet road, not bothering to activate his turn signal beforehand. His hair flew out sideways at the motion, swishing away from his eyes as he glanced down at the GPS yet again. The red dot blinked rapidly, indicating that his destination was getting close. _Why can't this damned screen be bigger so I can see where it's leading me?!_ The blonde thought in frustration, taking another abrupt turn in pursuit of the end of the red line.

The road he was on now belonged to a quiet, posh neighborhood. Houses sat half-hidden by expensive landscaping, only a few shiny cars not hidden by enormous garages. Mello subconsciously was checking each one he passed to see if the curtains were drawn.

_Come on, come on...! Where the hell is it?!_

There! A large, soft blue building two houses away had every window covered by curtains. A polished brown sedan was parked carefully in the front yard, even with the edge of the pavement.

He was about to stop, but a glance at the GPS made him hesitate.

The red dot blinked insistantly, a line still leading up and away from it...

_This isn't it?_ He looked up at the house, frowning. Near could be just behind one of those curtains...him and the man who had tried to kill Matt.

_It looks like what Near described to a T..._

After a moment, he revved the engine, speeding up and past the silent home. _I have to trust L. There's no time to waste...where the GPS says to go is where I'll find Near and Mikami!_

* * *

Near awoke to stinging in his wrist. He felt lightheaded, like he was drifting on the surface of water...but he was laying on his back on the bed again. He wasn't moving at all, much as the world seemed to sway.

Blinking dizzily, he turned his head and saw that Mikami was bandaging his wrist, blood all over both hands and a troubled frown on his face. _Mr. Mikami...y-you..._

He had tried to take Near's shirt off.

The incident was fresh in his mind, playing out as clearly in his memories as a recorded movie would have. _I-I feel ill. What does he want with me? I don't like it when he touches me..._ He didn't even want the man to be touching his wrist to bandage it; shakily, he pulled his arm away from Mikami's hands...

Or rather, he tried to.

_What...?!_ He tugged on his arm again, but it wouldn't budge—something large and flat was wrapped around his wrist. Staring at his arm, he realized in alarm that there was a thick tan strap binding his wrist to the metal tube framing of the bed. He quickly tried to move his other arm, then each of his legs, and found that both ankles and wrists were bound tightly, his arms held up on either side of his head.

He was tied down.

"Mr. Mikami," he forced his voice to stay cold rather than give away how shaken he was by this development, "Why are you doing this?" _I-I want to go home...I want Matt to be alive and okay and here with me instead of you..._ He felt a pang of emotion at the mention of the redhead's name, but Mikami turned dark eyes on him, pulling him quickly back to the situation at hand. His captor's gaze was gentle again, as it had been before the struggle.

He sounded sympathetic, almost pitying, as he explained, "You were hurting yourself—I was forced to restrain you." _I only struggled because you were trying to undress me,_ the white-haired boy thought, panic tightening his chest. His breaths were short and fast; he was starting to feel even more lightheaded... _No...stay calm. There must be a solution to the situation...there must be..._

He didn't believe himself anymore, though. There was no way out, was there? He had tried to get away from Mikami, and all he had accomplished was to injure his arm and to fall off of the table... His stomach was throbbing dully from that last action, even with the pain medication still in his system. _Did I rip any of the stitches? With them half-numbed, I can't tell..._

And now that he was tied down like this, he couldn't even try to run away. If Mikami wanted to take his shirt off, he could. If he wanted to take _all_ of his clothes off...

_Is that why he brought me here...?_ Near's voice sounded very small, even in his head. He watched numbly as Mikami turned and opened the brown case on the table. A glint of metal flashed from inside. Neatly lining both sides of the case, held in place by small leather bands, was an assortment of surgical utensils. Scalpals, tweezers, needles both curved and straight...

_What is he going to do?_ Turning back to him without offering any explanation, Mikami calmly reached over and began to unbutton the white pajama shirt again. Near shrank away from him, but the restraints kept him from moving out of reach. _D-don't..._ He would have spoken if it would do any good, but arguing with Mikami was pointless. The straps ensured that Near really couldn't say no to anything that the tall man told him to do and be telling the truth...

_Helpless. H-how can I be this helpless? _It was a horrible feeling, realizing that he really couldn't do a thing to stop Mikami. When he was untied, he had at least had the illusion of control over the situation...now he truly was helpless.

The white-haired boy shivered, turning his head to hide his face behind one arm. He was beginning to wish he had been shot in the hospital along with Matt...biting his lip, he decided that it didn't matter if he showed fear or not anymore. It didn't matter if he stayed calm or reasonable anymore, either—there was no reason to stay calm when no one was going to save him, anyway. _No one is coming for me. No one _will_ come..._

--End Chapter 17

* * *

AN: ;.; Near, I'm sorry I had to write what happened to you in this chapter! Writing the struggle and restraint scenes literally gave me the shivers...LOL, I guess that's what I get for being really into writing this story. It's rather tricky to believably portray Near panicking about _anything_, so if that part seems hard to believe trust me, I wrote and re-wrote that last scene about three times.

It is what it is...hope you are enjoying the story!

On a more technical note, GPS stands for "Global Positioning System" for anybody reading who might not know.

Disclaimer: The term PC, which stands for Personal Computer, is not actually a copyright that I know of (it's commonly used for all brands of PC), but I disclaim it anyway. Macintosh is definitely not mine, either—it belongs to the same people who started that whole iPod craze that has yet to end. (sweatdrop) Consider it disclaimed.

Hang in there, Near, chapter 18's coming very soon!

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 17**

Akugi #65

Narrator: A week ago, he had never felt as worthless as he would be feeling a week from then.

Matt: T_T; "Wh-what the hell does that even _mean_...?"

Threshie: "Eheh...it means that the metaphor went back in time a week, then forward in time a week, so it ended up at the present again!" :D

Matt: "..."

Threshie: (sweatdrop) "Okay, okay, so maybe it was a weird way to end a scene...." (Mumbles and pokes index fingers together awkwardly)

Matt: "And this chapter's even worse than the last one—I didn't even get to _speak_ this time!" (Shakes fist)

Threshie: (Pat) "Calm down, the story WILL get back to you eventually—I promise!" :)

Matt: "...'Eventually'?"

Akugi #66

Near: (Glances at Mikami) _What do you want with me? Why move my bed out into your living room?_

Mikami: ^_^ "Now we can watch anime together!" (Goes and turns on tv, putting in Magic Knight Rayearth)

Near: "..." (Sweatdrops at example of Japanese stereotyping in action)

Threshie: (Pops up) "A-hem: Magic Knight Rayearth belongs to CLAMP. Thank youuu!" (Disappears again)

Near: (Wonders if he hullucinated that...)

Akugi #67

Mello: _That's fine...I know how to handle people with guns._

Mikami: (Aims gun) "I'll shoot, I swear!"

Mello: (Holds up electromagnet) "Go ahead—all of your bullets will just aim themselves at this thing!"

Mikami: "...Dammit!" (Throws gun to floor)

Gun: (Flies across room and sticks to magnet)

Mello: (Grin) "Science classes pay off! Mwahaha!"

Akugi #68

Car: BEEP-BEEP!

Mello: (Ignores)

Motorcycle: (Runs right over top of car, jumping about eight feet before landing on the pavement again)

Driver of Car: o_o; "H-holy CRAP!" (Forgets to do obscene gesture called for in script)

Mello: "..." (Has been doing this the entire drive; doesn't even look up from GPS anymore)


	18. No Mistakes

**In Charge**

**Chapter 18 – No Mistakes**

By Threshie

AN: I'M ALIIIVE! :D LOL; welcome to chapter 18 of "In Charge". I got snowed in the past couple of weeks and couldn't get online, so sorry this took so long getting to you. You see, I have no internet at home—I usually get online at my dad's workplace. The snow kept me from going anywhere except a few quick outings to shop for Christmas presents at the last second! (Sweatdrop) So I wasn't just being mean with last chapter's cliffhanger, and no, I'm NOT dead! LOL.

On to the long-awaited chapter!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

The red point wasn't blinking anymore.

It had been flickering more and more rapidly as Mello neared his destination, until the times it was off were too short to see, and now, finally, it glowed steadily on the GPS unit's tiny screen. The line leading away from it had ended as soon as the blonde had pulled into the driveway of a large one-story home with a meticulously-manicured lawn. Mello skidded the motorcycle to a stop sideways, the wheels tearing some of the perfect turf into ugly chunks. Topsoil sprayed out across the part that he hadn't yet touched.

Ignoring the mess he was making, the blonde checked the GPS one last time to be sure that he was at the right place, then hopped off of the motorcycle, killing the engine.

The house seemed peaceful and unassuming; it had new brown roofing, and looked like the siding had been repainted recently. An indigo two-door sedan was parked outside, perfectly parallel to the line where pavement gave way to neatly-mowed lawn. The windows were spotless.

Every window was also covered by curtains.

_This is it! _Abandoning the still-glowing GPS on the ground beside the bike, he didn't even take the time to put up the kickstand before hurrying over to the front door. _Please let me be in time...!_ Searching Mikami's listed apartment had wasted valuable hours...

_No time to think about that, either,_ he told himself, glaring up at the front door determinedly, _I've got to get inside! If I try kicking the lock to break it, Mikami will notice and have time to draw his gun. I don't have a gun, so I can't let him know I'm there until I have the upper hand..._ Going back to the motorcycle, which was now lying on its side—the grass had muffled its fall--, he snatched the keys out of the ignition. _These should work for this..._

Climbing the front steps as quietly and quickly as he could, he drew a bobby pin from his pocket, knelt in front of the door, and inserted it carefully into the keyhole. Sticking the tip of the motorcycle key, which was smaller than a house key, in beside the pin, he very delicately rotated the latter. Only Matt really knew that he kept lockpicking tools on hand at all times; he had a feeling that L would disapprove of him being so good at a common breaking and entering technique, so he hadn't mentioned it.

_He didn't ask how I'd get in, though—he probably already knows. Typical L._

A soft 'click' came from inside the door. One corner of his mouth curving upward in a grim smirk, the blonde stuffed the pin and keys into his pocket and reached for the doorknob.

_Let's hope he isn't in the room right on the other side of the door..._

* * *

Near shivered as he felt the soft cloth being slid down off of his shoulders. The restraints made removing his pajama shirt entirely impossible, but Mikami had opened the front and slipped it halfway off of his arms. _Stop it..._

Struggling against the straps was useless...talking to Mikami seemed to have no effect...what could he do but lie there?

_No--if I don't do _something_, he is going to use those scalpels and other tools on me..._ It was an assumption, but a relevant one—why would Mikami have opened the case if he didn't plan to use the tools? The nurse may have put the right medication into his IV, but that didn't at all inspire confidence that he could put in stitches properly, a job for a doctor.

At this point he was probably so deluded that he thought he _was_ a doctor...

Near didn't even want to look at Mikami, but steeled himself and turned his head back to face the tall man. _I can speak, if nothing else..._

"Are you going to hurt me?" He asked faintly, staring at the case of instruments instead of his captor's face.

"Of course not." Mikami sounded sympathetic...his tone was so gentle that Near didn't trust it. It was too gentle. _He is lying. He will harm me...and then he will claim that I "was hurting myself". _That was what had happened last time—Mikami couldn't admit that he could be the reason for his patient's suffering, so of course he would blame it on Near instead.

"...If you untie me, I will remove my shirt on my own," the white-haired boy whispered, closing his eyes. He had no intentions of doing so, of course. _I just need a chance to get away...even if he shot me in the back it would be better than this!_

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kennedy..." He felt his hopes tumbling to the ground as the gentle words reached his ears. "After the scene that you caused a little while ago, I'm afraid you may harm yourself if I untie you again. It's all right..." The white-haired boy shivered, as he felt a hand slipping beneath the thin white undershirt that he aways wore. He shrank away from the touch, his chest tightening in panic. _No...don't touch me...!_ _Let me go! _He fought against the straps, even though he knew that it was useless.

"L...let me go!" He echoed his thoughts aloud; the small, frightened voice sounded like someone else. _I should have run before—whether he would shoot or not, I should have tried to run away!_ At that point he had still thought that Mello might be able to find him...that he might escape somehow. It had been strategic not to make a fuss...

Now that he was willing to escape at any cost, he didn't have the chance anymore.

"Lie still...I'm not going to hurt you," Mikami soothed, sliding Near's undershirt up to expose his stomach. _Yes you will!_ The boy thought, wincing as the strap around his injured wrist bit into the bandaged wound. He had tried to pull away with every bit of strength that he could muster, and was panting from the effort.

It was no use; the restraints hadn't given one bit.

He slumped down into the pillow again, trembling as Mikami's fingertips brushed across his bare skin. His hands felt warm and wet from the blood all over them, almost sticky; Near hated that heat slipping so softly over him... Pausing, the hand that had been undressing him a moment ago came to rest gently on his side as it rose and fell with each rapid breath.

"Shh...the tools are only to touch up your stitches if you damaged them in your panic before," Mikami explained very gently; he sounded like he could be speaking to a frightened animal more than a person. An animal, or a small child...

Near shook his head mutely; his chest and throat both felt tight, and his eyes stung with the tears he refused to show. He was afraid, and he felt sick, but he was determined that it would take more than fear or pain to make him cry. Mikami didn't deserve to have tears wasted on him. Didn't deserve to see him really break down.

_No one is coming._

The thought came from nowhere, a hopeless reminder that he was nothing more than a victim in this. Mikami could do whatever he wanted without anyone stopping him; sooner or later, the white-haired boy knew, he was going to really lose his self-control. He always had such a firm grip on his emotions, though, that the walls were only now being broken down enough for it to show much...

"D-don't," he whispered, hiding his face behind one arm again. "Don't do this...please..."

"I won't hurt you...I'll be very gentle," Mikami replied in the same soothing voice as before. It was like he hadn't even heard Near; the boy shrank away as he felt the heat against his skin sliding down across his stomach...down to the hem of his pants. Stitches couldn't have had anything to do with the way that Mikami was touching him...

_No—stop! _Fingers slipped between the waistband and his skin; the warmth against his hip made his skin crawl. _Please don't...please..._

* * *

The door was thankfully silent; no creaking or squeaking of hinges when Mello opened it. Glancing quickly around, he saw that he was in a small entrance room; there was a shoe shelf in one corner, occupied only by a pair of grey house slippers, and a single windowless door leading further into the house. _Maybe Mikami isn't here,_ the blonde thought, noting that there were no outdoor shoes on the shelf. _No—there was a car outside. Unless he's got two cars like he has two addresses, he's got to be here!_

Pressing himself against the wall, he slowly twisted the knob of the interior door, peering around the corner into the room beyond—and froze.

The scene before him was worse than he could have imagined.

Near was strapped down to a hospital bed. A tall Asian man with longish hair and glasses sat on a chair beside him; his nurse's uniform perfectly completed the person that Matt had described to be Mikami. His hands and Near's clothes were both spattered and stained with blood...and he was in the midst of undressing the white-haired boy. Near was trembling visibly, even from such a distance.

Mello was trembling, now, too.

_Mikami...!_

He couldn't have explained the feeling that had come over him. In seconds, fury filled him, threatening to scorch his body from the inside-out. At the same time, his stomach twisted sickeningly at seeing Near in such a state.

There was a set of scalpels and needles lying open on the table.

Blood stained the carpet beside the table, on the opposite side as the bed.

Mikami was so intently focused on Near that he didn't notice Mello at all...

* * *

_I want Matt,_ Near thought miserably, fighting tears again. He didn't care if it didn't make sense. He didn't care if Matt was gone. _Help me...Matt...I-I want Matt...!_ Mikami had slipped his pants down off of one hip, revealing the stitches that still throbbed dully. The pain only blended with that of his wrist, swirling with the pounding of his heart and the pleading of his thoughts into a dizzying panic.

He heard a tiny whimper, and only realized afterward that it had been his own voice. The warm hand on his hip hadn't moved away...the other hand joined it, caressing his side as softly as a whisper. He shuddered, trying to pull away, but the straps held him firmly in place.

_Don't....don't...!_

Smack!

There was a solid smacking noise, followed immediately by a sharp cry of pain from Mikami. The hands abruptly pulled away from Near's skin.

_Wh-what...?_ Near opened his eyes, staring in shock at the scene before him. Mikami was staggering away from the chair he had been sitting in, a hand pressed over his nose. His glasses were gone; before Near could wonder where they went, a tiny crunch from the nurse's feet told Near that he had just stepped on them. Blood trickled down the side of his nose where the metal frames of them had bitten into his skin. He was staring off to Near's right, eyes wide in shock.

"Get the hell away from him!"

_Mello!_ Turning his head, Near spotted the blonde just as he was lunging for Mikami again. It felt surreal, seeing him there...he looked and sounded absolutely livid. Mikami's eyes were wide and had a crazed look in them; he had the gun out of his pocket before Mello could even reach him. His hand shook terribly, causing the weapon to rattle softly.

Near didn't want to watch the standoff, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. If Mikami shot Mello...if Mello died in front of him like Matt had...

_Will he kill anyone who interferes?_

"Who are you?!" Mikami's voice snapped him back to the present. The Japanese man sounded strange again, but in a way that surpassed the stoic act—his voice wavered, like he was about to snap. If he could snap any more than he already had... "Get away from my patient!" He screamed at Mello, crushing the trigger down.

_No...!_

There was the instant sound of shattering glass—behind Mello, sparkling shards rained down around the curtains in one window frame. Mikami's vision must not have been very good without his glasses; he had missed the blonde by a good six inches at point blank range.

Seeing his chance, Mello lunged forward and grabbed Mikami's wrist, twisting the arm holding the gun away toward the wall. "_Drop it!_" He growled, "_Now!_"

"D-don't you dare _touch_ him! He's _my_ patient!" Mikami sounded completely hysterical now; his face was hidden from Near's view because his back was turned, but his expression couldn't have been pleasant. _They are still struggling for control of the gun..._

He didn't want to think about what would happen if Mikami won.

* * *

So this was the person who had tried to kill Matt.

Mello wanted nothing more than to strangle the life out of the babbling black-haired man, regardless of the fact that Mikami was half a foot taller than him and undoubtedly heavier. The odds didn't matter; he wasn't thinking of what was the rational thing to do at the moment, he was acting on his emotions and instincts. Fury was a powerful thing...so long as the gun was taken out of the game, he was sure that Mikami would lose in a one-on-one fight with him. And did he ever plan to make it a painful loss, too...

_I'll kill you...! How dare you even _think _about touching Near, after what you were doing to him!_ He gritted his teeth, giving the nurse's arm a vicious twist with both of his own.

Mikami was more muscular than he looked; he wrenched his wrist roughly out of the blonde's grip, swinging the gun around to press the barrel into his chest. Mello's eyes widened—there was no time to move, barely even time to notice--

BANG!

Mikami screamed, the gun clattering to the floor as he brought his other hand up to clutch at one shoulder. His shooting hand hung limply at his side, blood streaming down from his fingertips to bloom in a crimson stain on the carpet. Having expected to feel a bullet ripping into his chest, Mello stared, wide-eyed, and said nothing.

_Someone else shot him before he could shoot me...!_

"Y-you...._you_....!" The tall man shrieked, staggering backward away from the front door. Turning, Mello saw a tall blonde policeman holding a still-smoking gun, a grim look on his face. _The cops that L sent finally caught up to me!_

Men in uniform filtered rapidly into the room, training their guns on Mikami. In under a minute, the nurse was completely surrounded.

"Freeze! You're under arrest!"

"G-get _him_," Mikami wailed, pointing at Mello with his one good hand, which was bloody and shaking badly, "He's the intruder—I-I'm a medical professional! I've n-never made a mistake when caring for a patient—not a s-single one....!"

Without thinking, Mello lunged for him again. _You bastard...!_

"Since when do nurses _shoot_ people?!" He snarled, wrapping both hands tightly around the tall man's throat, "I'd say you made a goddamned mistake when you _shot Matt_!"

"Sir, stop!" He felt someone grabbing his shoulders, trying to yank the two of them apart, but he held on as tightly as he could. Mikami was making choked gurgling sounds, bulging eyes glaring murder at him as he clawed at the blonde's hands with his one good one. The blood slipped against Mello's leather gloves uselessly; it was hard to tell whether it was Mikami's or Near's at this point...

"Stop right now! Do you want to be a murderer?!" The voices shouting at him made sense, but he wanted to ignore them—oh, how he wanted to ignore them. Just a little more pressure, and he could crush Mikami's throat...then he could never utter another hateful lie about never making a mistake again. _No mistakes—no mistakes! You've made _lots_ of mistakes, and the biggest one was crossing _me_!_

Hands were grabbing onto his arms, arms wrapping around his waist...more hands were prying his fingers off of Mikami's throat. _No—let me kill him! He deserves to die, dammit! _The strength of four cops versus one furious teenager was hardly even, though...he found himself struggling and swearing at the men restraining him, vaguely acknowledging in the background that Mikami was gasping for air and babbling nonsense while he was handcuffed.

"_NO mistakes_--none! Th-they're ruining me! My career—I never made a mistake! Never! Perfect records--K-Kennedys—i-it's_ them,_ not me...!" Several officers dragged the tall man out to one of the cruisers parked on the lawn, the echoes of his hysteria drifting back to the house long after he was out of sight.

--End Chapter 18

* * *

AN: And now I've written a scene with Mello hopping mad in it. I'm sure he would've loved to beat the stuffing out of our resident psycho-perfectionist-possibly-pedo nurse some more if the police hadn't shown up (good thing they did, though, or our dear Mello would have a bullet hole in him, eheh.)

This chapter was even worse about making myself squirm while writing certain scenes...which is the intended effect for the reader, too, so if it made you uncomfortable, mission accomplished! As...odd as that may sound, LOL. If Near freaking out seems out of character to you, please remember that he was never put in any situation that physically endangered him in the series, and definitely never had to deal with anybody like Mikami is in this fic. (Sweatdrop)

Trivia: This chapters title comes from Mikami's ranting about making no mistakes in his care of Near. It also refers to Mello's mental scoffing at Mikami's whole "no mistakes" rant. It refers to the fact that the police made no mistakes so they got there just in time to save Mello from being shot. L mobilized them so fast that he kind of saved Mello's life in a way. :) I guess the last "no mistakes" part would be the ironic one—that you better not make any "mistakes" that involve wronging Mello!

I outlined this and chapter 19 as one chapter originally; the characters had other ideas. I would have preferred to not end this chapter so abruptly, but there's no other spot to cut that doesn't make one chapter 14 or so pages long, so just treat this as a "two-parter" and watch for chapter 19 very soon. (And I mean actually soon, not "I'll update than get snowed in for two weeks" soon. XD; )

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 18**

Akugi #69

Narrator: Abandoning the still-glowing GPS on the ground beside the bike, he didn't even take the time to put up the kickstand before hurrying over to the front door.

Mello: "Why does a GPS have a kickstand, anyway?!"

GPS and Motorcycle: (Fall over for lack of kickstands being folded out) CRUNCH.

Akugi #70

Near: "Are you going to hurt me?" (Looks at case of instruments)

Mikami: (Gently) "Of course not."

Near: u.u "Prove it."

Mikami: u_u "All right, I will! I'm not going to do a single thing to you—does that sound harmless enough?"

Near: "We'll see how long you can keep your word."

Mikami: "Forever--I always keep my word!" (Sits and does nothing for the next few hours to prove his point)

Near: (Waits patiently for Mello to show up)

Akugi #71

Narrator: The scene before him was worse than he could have imagined.

Mello: OnO (Gasp) "Scalpels, needles, straps, an insane guy...this is like a scene from _Frankenstein_!" (Resolves to get out of there before FrankenNear "re-rises" and ends up much physically stronger than he looks...)

Akugi #72

Mikami: "Who are you?! Get away from my patient!"

Mello: "My name is Mihael Keehl! You shot my best friend! Prepare to DIE!"


	19. Moved

**In Charge**

**Chapter 19 – Moved**

By Threshie

AN: Happy New Year, everybody! :) Here's the second half of the "two-parter" chapter 18 started; this chapter jumps right back into the story where 18 left off, and it's a looong one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"...I never made a mistake! Never! Perfect records--K-Kennedys—i-it's_ them,_ not me...!"

Near listened to Mikami's frantic words, stunned. Everything had been over so fast; the entire fight between Mello and Mikami couldn't have lasted more than five minutes. _Am I in shock?_ Everything felt...unreal. There was the babble of many people talking all at once, and suddenly people were swarming all over the room.

Strangers. At least a dozen of them.

After what had happened to him in the past few days, being with strangers in an unfamiliar place was much worse than being left alone.

The white-haired boy turned his head, hiding his face behind one arm, and bit his lip. _It's all right...Mello is here somewhere. He is here...isn't he? _After bleeding as much as his wrist had, he wouldn't have been surprised if he had hallucinated the entire fight between Mikami and the blonde._.._he still felt lightheaded and a bit dizzy, even after holding still for awhile.

_No...if Mello wasn't ever here, then Mr. Mikami would still be...t-touching me._

He shivered; just thinking of the man made his skin crawl all over again. No one had ever made him feel so helpless and scared before. He was still shaking.

"It's okay, kid—we're here to help." He ignored the woman who was talking; she seemed to be talking to him, but he didn't want to talk to any strangers at the moment. He wanted to be safe at home, where only people he knew ever bothered him with anything.

_Where is Mello?_

He flinched instinctively at the feeling of fingers on his wrist. _D-don't touch me! _The straps kept him from moving far; struggling so much before had left his wrists sore, and now whenever he moved them around too much it stung enough to make him wince. He couldn't help himself, though.

"Hold still—I'm not going to hurt you," the same woman spoke again, sounding irritated. "I'm just trying to get these straps off of you, okay?"

"Takada, forget the straps—his stomach is bleeding," another voice ordered.

"Right, sir," Takada said quickly, switching her attention to the white-haired boy's bare stomach. Shivering at the memory of heat slipping wetly across his skin, Near whimpered and shrank away from her hands.

"S-stop," he whispered, "Stop touching me...please."

"I have to touch you to make sure you're all right," the woman replied shortly, "There aren't any injuries here...why is your stomach all bloody? Do you remember what happened?"

Near shook his head a little, keeping his eyes closed. _Do you think I want to remember any of this? Leave me alone..._

"I want M-Mello..." He winced, jerking away from Takada's hands again; she was trying to touch his face now. S_top it—stop touching me!_

"Listen, kid, I'm just trying to do my job," the woman said pointedly. There was a brief pause, and then she murmured, "What's this...?" Feeling her fingertips on his hip, where Mikami's had been not long ago, Near gave up being diplomatic and struggled against the restraints again. It hurt, but he didn't care—she wasn't listening, and he wasn't going to lie there while anybody else put their hands all over him.

* * *

Only when Mikami was safely out of the room did the police release Mello. Huffing at them furiously, the blonde snapped, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" _I had him! I didn't make him _pay_ yet...!_

"Sir, he's in custody now," one of the two men who had been holding him said hurriedly; he was a big man, but he still seemed intimidated. Watching Mello almost strangle someone might have had something to do with it...and the blonde sorely wanted to punch him in the face right now, so his fear definitely wasn't unwarranted.

"Shut the hell up!" Mello shouted at him, balling both hands into tight fists; he was still shaking from fury and adrenaline, and breathing hard from his struggle with Mikami. _You don't know what you're talking about--"custody" isn't what he needs to be in, _pain_ is!_

He was so furious that he brushed the fact that Mikami could have shot and killed him off like a minor irritation. He didn't care. It only would have mattered if it had been successful, and thankfully for Mello the police had shown up first._ Why the hell did a nurse have a silenced gun in the first place?! What is he, some homicidal sick-minded psycho?_

"Sir, the boy is asking for you." The voice of a different officer was what finally pulled him out of his fuming. The cop, a short and stocky man with a grim frown on his face, was standing mere feet away by the time Mello noticed him. "The boy on the bed wants you, sir," the man repeated pointedly; he looked irritated at being ignored. "He's giving the medics some trouble—L said you know him, so maybe you could calm him down..."

_Near..._

Mello nodded quickly, heading for the bed across the room. In his rage at Mikami, he'd forgotten all about the white-haired boy. Near had suffered even more than Matt from this ordeal...probably more than Mello really wanted to know about. Remembering what Matt had said about Mikami being "possessive" about Near, and then how he had found the man undressing the smaller boy, the blonde gritted his teeth.

_Rival or not, I can't stand somebody doing what Mikami did to him...even a lying, cheating little brat doesn't deserve this! _He thought the put-downs half-heartedly. Maintaining his rivalry with Near in this situation would be petty; kidnappings and abuse were a lot bigger than that. _That "nurse" shot Matt, kidnapped Near and was _torturing_ him! I wish there were two Mikamis so I could kill one for each of them!_

That desire only grew when he reached the bed and got a good look at Near.

The smaller boy's pale hair was spotted with red, his pajama shirt bloodied and wide open in the front and the hem of the thin white shirt beneath it was slid up around his chest. Crimson contrasted starkly with his pale skin, smeared across his stomach and one hip.

Mello stared, too shocked by the sight to speak. All sorts of horrible and nightmarish things were going through his head, things that could have happened before he arrived...

What had Mikami done to him?

"D-don't...!" A female medic was standing beside the bed, leaning over Near and trying to assess his condition. Each time she tried to touch him, though, the white-haired boy would cringe away from her hands. With the straps still on his wrists and ankles, all he could really do to resist her prodding was to plead with her not to.

"Please...j-just get Mello..." The blonde blinked at the sound of his name; the cop hadn't been kidding about Near asking for him. _He must trust me more than anybody else here,_ he realized uncomfortably. It would take a pretty horrible experience for Mello to beg for anybody to call for Near, so he assumed that the opposite was true as well.

Again, he wondered sickly, what had Mikami done?

"I don't know who Mello is," the female medic, who was trying to get a good look at Near's stomach, said sharply, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Just _hold still_ and we can get you patched up--"

"I'm Mello!" The blonde interrupted finally, stepping forward. The woman and Near both froze, glancing at him quickly. "Takada", as her nametag read, looked a bit irate about a punky little teenaged guy interrupting her work, and Near looked almost frantic.

"Mello," he whispered. His voice was faint, filled with a shaky mixture of relief and disbelief. He was about to say something else, but flinched instead, wincing. Takada had tried to examine the thick white bandage on his right wrist, and he had immediately tried to yank his arm away. "H-help me...!"

"Don't touch him!" Mello told the medic sharply, frowning. _Can't they see he's scared? After being tied down and having Mikami..._ He silenced the thought hurriedly, shaking his head. Anybody_ would be traumatized--having medics touch him is probably his worst fear right now. And they didn't even bother to take the damned straps off, either!_

Takada straightened and turned to face him, crossing her arms with a pretty little frown on her face. She was young, maybe 25, with short dark hair and slanted brown eyes, and reminded Mello of a Japanese supermodel. _I don't care if she's pretty, though—she's not doing this right._

"Who are you and what do you have to do with my patient?" The medic asked pertly, still frowning. Mello frowned back.

"I'm the one in charge of this police team—in other words, your superior," he told her darkly, "And I'm ordering you to stop touching Near—you're freaking him out!"

"He could be seriously hurt—I have to examine him, _sir_," Takada said firmly, undeterred. Mello looked very _unlike_ the leader of a police team...

_I don't have time for this..._

"Then I'll do it," the blonde shot back, propping his hands on his hips and leaning forward to stare her down. _Hasn't Near been through enough without having to deal with you? Obviously you've never treated anybody who was abused before!_

"Sir, you aren't a trained medical professional," Takada said, standing her ground. "And we don't have time to argue about this! He's covered in blood—obviously he's injured somewhere."

"I can recognize injuries when I see them," Mello glared, coming over to stand right beside the bed. "Listen, a 'medical professional' just kidnapped and hurt him—you think he wants _any_ stranger taking his clothes off and looking him over?!" Without waiting for a reply, he waved a hand at her dismissively, "Just get out of my way, dammit."

He turned to Near, ignoring her pouty look as she stepped off to the side at last. _She won't understand even if I try explaining it any more. What's wrong with people? Dr. Lidner's the only worthwhile medical professional who's been involved in this!_ Then again, Mikami couldn't exactly be counted as an example of the typical nurse...

Near had shrunk down into the pillow during the argument, eyes downcast to the side of the bed. He was very quiet, and didn't seem to notice when Mello sat on the edge of the bed. The blonde glanced at his stomach, which had blood smeared across it. _No injuries there except for the stitches..._ Mikami's hands had been all bloody even when he'd first arrived—were the smears from them? _That means he touched him everywhere that's red..._

The trail started at Near's chest, where the edge of the undershirt was stained crimson, and dragged in a slow, broad line down across his stomach, before splitting into two; one slipped off toward the smaller boy's side, stopping in the vague, sloppy shapes of fingers just below his ribcage, while the other led all the way down to the waistband of his pants.

Mello gritted his teeth, telling himself that being furious again wasn't going to help. _Still, how _dare_ he..._ Following the blood trail had made him notice that Near's pants were pulled down low on one hip. There was a faint smear of crimson there, as well, leading down off the side. _If I hadn't gotten here when I did...hell, what if this isn't the first time he's done something like this? He's had Near for a day and a half—that's enough time to do a lot of things. Ugh--I don't even want to think about it!_

The bad feeling from the hospital was nothing compared to the knots that his stomach was in now. Thinking about somebody like Near, who looked and acted so childish that it was hard to remember he was really a teenager, being subjected to such things...it made him feel sick. _It _is_ sick! How could that bastard enjoy doing this to him...?! Even Near doesn't deserve this—nobody does!_

"Somebody cut these straps off," he said heavily, trying not to sound as disturbed as he felt. _He's shaking...nobody's moving fast enough. Dammit—why can't you guys see what needs to be done? It's right in front of you! _Snatching one of the scalpels from the case, he started quickly slashing the straps himself. _I would have gone insane...being tied down like this..._

"S-sir! Those are evidence," one of the cops nearby said incredulously, of the scalpel he'd taken.

Not looking up from removing the last strap, the blonde replied shortly, "They weren't bloody—he obviously didn't do anything with them." _Even if he did, I don't see _you_ hurrying to bring me something else to cut these straps with._

* * *

Mello was cutting the straps off; Near could feel the pressure on his wrists and ankles loosening one at a time, and saw glimpses of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye. He winced softly, hugging his arms to his chest, and stared off to the side still. _He really came for me...he's really here...it's okay now that Mello is here..._ No matter how many times he reassured himself, some part of his mind refused to accept that everything could be over this easily. He felt like he hadn't done anything to help himself escape—he hadn't fought Mikami off, he hadn't managed to break out a window and crawl away...

It was like a book or a movie; nobody ever really got rescued in real life like this, did they? All of the similar cases he had solved told him that they didn't. Victims who didn't somehow help themselves were usually murdered long before anybody found them...

"Near...? Hey, listen to me."

Mello's voice. Suddenly painfully aware of his disheveled condition, the white-haired boy couldn't bring himself to even look at his savior. _I...am half-dressed. He must be assuming the worst..._ He would have been embarrassed to be seen in such a state, but he was so relieved that Mello was there with him now that the thought never crossed his mind. He felt more ashamed than anything. Ashamed that the blonde had had to save him...that he couldn't save himself. _Who knows what would have happened to me...if there was truly no one to take care of me like I believed before._

He heard a small 'clink' as Mello sat whatever he'd cut the straps off with onto the table.

"Near, talk to me! Did he hurt you? Mikami?"

_He...didn't, did he?_ The white-haired boy shook his head mutely, not meeting Mello's eyes. He could see out of the corner of his eye that the blonde had turned to face him again. _I pulled the IV needle out on my own—all he did was...t-touch me._ Just thinking of it had him trembling again.

"Okay," Mello said quietly, tugging his gloves off one by one, "I'm gonna check and make sure all of this blood isn't from an injury you aren't telling me about. I'm _not_ going to hurt you—okay?"

_He has to touch me to do that... I trust him, but I am not hurt--he doesn't need to..._ His thoughts were confusing; they all jumbled together. _Am I safe? If Mello is here, I should be...I should be happy, but...Matt..._ Maybe that was why he couldn't accept that things were over so quickly and easily—Matt wasn't there. How could things be over and go back to normal without Matt?

_Things will never be the same again. Matt...I-I don't want you to be dead._

He flinched automatically at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. Seeing that it was Mello, he bit his lip and relaxed a little. The blonde quickly looked over his stomach, frowning at the blood dried darkly onto the pale skin there. _He doesn't understand—I am not hurt. All of this blood...it only looks this bad because..._

"I pulled the needle out," he whispered, trying to explain. He looked up at Mello finally, locking black eyes with slanted blue ones that were dark with concern. The blonde had been examining one of his wrists, where the straps and his struggling had resulted in red marks. Near pulled his arm away, hugging it closer to his chest so that the older boy couldn't touch it again. "I f-fell off of the table. I bled, h-he bandaged me, and...I t-tried...I tried...." _I tried not to think of Matt._

To his dismay, his voice seemed to shrink with each word, until he could barely even hear himself. His throat felt choked when he thought of Matt collapsing to the floor—it was as clear in his mind as if it was happening over again. The blood and the shock rushed back like a slap in the face. _Matt..._

Talking about the things that had hurt him recently only made his mind relive them—suddenly he was scrambling away from Mikami again, slipping in his own blood and thinking desperately that he had to get away.

He was falling roughly to the floor, stunned and helpless as arms wrapped around him from behind.

He was cringing away from a hot, wet touch, forcing himself not to cry. He couldn't cry in front of Mikami.

He couldn't think of how Matt was gone forever.

He couldn't think of anything else...

* * *

Near didn't seem to realize that he was crying. He struggled to sit up, flinching slightly when Mello reached to help him, and sat sideways on the bed staring down at the floor with tears streaming silently down his face.

Mello was at a loss for words. He had no idea, absolutely no clue, how to deal with a distraught Near. _He's crying. He's really crying._ It was such a bizarre thing for Near to be doing that the trembling boy beside him seemed like another person entirely.

_Who knows what that bastard did to him..._ It wasn't right to just leave him upset like this...but the blonde boy wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't like he and Near were close or anything...would he even accept comfort if Mello tried to offer it? _...I've got to try, at least. He probably wouldn't if it was me, but...I can't sit and do _nothing_, dammit..._

Comforting...what would be comforting? Impulsively, the blonde pulled the blanket off of the bed and wrapped it around Near. _This usually helps people who are in shock—which he's starting to resemble, so maybe it'll do the trick..._ It wouldn't be enough on its own, though; Near didn't even seem to notice that the blanket had been draped over his shoulders.

_Dammit...I don't know what the hell I'm even doing,_ Mello thought, frustrated. Saying anything at this point would be beyond awkward...and there really wasn't anything he could say that would do any good, was there? He thought of Matt's face when they returned and he saw the condition Near was in, though, and knew he had to try. _...I've got to do _something_...if not for Near, then for Matt, since he can't come take care of Near himself._

So he was Matt's stand-in...

He sighed. _When Matt freaked out at the hospital, hugging him seemed to help. _He glanced at Near, who looked even smaller now that he was swathed in the blanket, and frowned. He didn't really want to do this, but...

A bit hesitantly, he slipped an arm around the white-haired boy's shoulders. _C'mon, go back to being the cold emotionless person I'm _used_ to...? _He blinked, hugging the smaller boy closer when he realized that he could practically wrap his arm all the way around him—blanket and all. Near seemed so small...since when was he this small? Even on their best days, Mello had never been on good enough terms with the white-haired boy to hug him before, so he'd never really realized...

_He's tiny! Like a little kid..._ Which was why Mikami had decided to take him, the blonde figured. It made him sick to think about it, so he tried his best not to at the moment.

"It's okay, Near," he said in what he hoped was a soothing tone of voice; he was bad at these kinds of things, really he was. Matt would've understood that he was trying his hardest to be sincere, but Near wasn't Matt, and to anybody else it would've looked like a clumsy attempt. Awkwardly, he patted the smaller boy's back, rocking the two of them gently back and forth. "It's okay now...shh, you're safe..."

_He doesn't even seem to hear me... _Just as he finished the thought, Near disproved it by turning and leaning against him, hiding his face in the front of the blonde's black quilted vest. Mello stiffened slightly, caught off-guard, and stared down at the boy in his arms.

"N...no it isn't..." The words came out as a little whimper, muffled slightly by the blonde's vest.

Seeing how the medics and police were staring with pity at the two of them, Mello shot them a glare that said clearly to give them some space. Silently, the crowd around them shuffled off to the other side of the room, glancing back over their shoulders as they went.

Mello glanced down at Near, who had one cheek pressed to his chest and his eyes closed, and sighed a little. _What do I say to him? What can I say that would make him feel better...?_ There wasn't much he could possibly do to remedy the situation, short of assuring Near that it was over now. _I've never seen him cry—I wasn't even sure he knew _how_ to..._

"Mikami's gone," he assured the smaller boy, patting his back gently, "You're safe now, so it's okay."

"No," Near insisted, sobbing a little, "M...Matt...he died believing a _lie_."

"_Matt died"...?_

Mello blinked, realization dawning.

_He still thinks Matt's dead!_

Now that he thought of it, of course Near thought that Matt was dead—_he_ had thought that Matt was dead when he found him on the floor in the hospital, himself. Near had been gone since Mikami had shot the redhead, so he had no way of knowing that the bullet hadn't been fatal...

The kind thing to do would be to admit the truth—that Matt was all right and waiting for them back at the hospital—but what Near had just said had piqued the blonde's curiosity. _He lied to Matt before Mikami shot him, huh... Near lies all the time, but it's pretty rare that he feels bad about it afterward. I wonder what he lied about?_

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly, trying not to sound as smug as he felt. For once, he knew something that Near couldn't possibly know.

Quieting, the smaller boy still had tears in his voice as he whispered miserably, "M-Matt asked to be my friend...but, I couldn't accept, so...I told him I would rather be alone." He pulled away from Mello's arms abruptly, hugging himself tightly instead. The blanket slid down off of one of his shoulders, tugging that side of the pajama shirt down his arm with it. "I l-lied..."

Mello listened silently, shocked at what he was hearing. _What...? But he was _trying_ to get Matt to be his friend! I know that he was! Why would he turn him down? _He didn't understand this at all.

"Why couldn't you accept?" He asked a bit too quickly, leaning forward slightly to peer at the white-haired boy's face sidelong. It was very strange to see Near crying...and the tears were only half of it. The fact that he had an expression beyond smugness or blank indifference was just as startling.

"...Because he could only h-have...one best friend." The words were steadier...a ghost of the usual Near was returning to the mannerisms of this tearful person who had suddenly taken his place. Mello's mind was attacking the words from every angle, puzzling over them rapidly. _Why didn't he jump at the chance to be Matt's one best friend...? It's not like he'd care about ousting _me_..._

...Would he?

"...Now, Matt is gone," Near concluded quietly, eyes downcast again. Mello blinked, attention snagged at the sound of the redhead's name. _This is the part I wanted to hear about._ Near hugged himself a little tighter, voice hitching slightly as he explained, "H-he was hurt when I turned his friendship down. I thought...'better to be hurt a little now than a lot later'...but, M-Matt didn't get any 'later'. Mr. Mikami..."

He hung his head, shaking it slightly. "...N-now Matt will never know that I did care about him...a-and, I wanted his friendship more than I've ever w...wanted anything..." He buried his face in his hands, crying softly again.

The bad feeling was back in force.

_So Matt really cares about him...and Near actually wants to be his friend, too,_ Mello assessed flatly._ But Near turned Matt down...why? Because he thought Matt already had a best friend—me? Obviously Matt's got other plans—all he can talk about lately is Near!_ He couldn't argue with that. Even if Near really was trying to respect his role as Matt's best friend, if Matt himself wanted Near to be that friend instead, that's how it would be.

Apparently Mello was the one who no one had any room in their lives for now...

A bit numbly, he stared down at the floor. _He takes everything from me. It doesn't matter what it is...if someone can be better at it than someone else, he'll beat me at it. Why can't I be the best at just _one_ thing? Why can't _I_ be Matt's best friend?_

Green.

He blinked; the bright green object on the floor looked familiar. Climbing off of the cot, he stooped and snatched it up, realizing that it was the toy dinosaur that Near had kept beside his bed at the hospital. _Matt gave this to him._ He felt a little jab of hurt in his chest. Near seemed very attached to the toy...was it because Matt had given it to him? It seemed to comfort him—in the ICU, it had been the only item that Near had asked Matt to bring him.

Hurt as he felt about being ousted as Matt's best friend, the blonde couldn't blame Near this time. Blaming Near for things usually had some truth to it...but the fact of the matter this time was that Matt was the only one who could choose his best friend. If he cared about Near more than Mello...what could Mello do about it, really?

He glanced at Near, who looked like he'd forgotten where he was. The white-haired boy still had his hands over his face, and was almost perfectly silent, even in his distress. _He's been through hell and back this week...and it's really Matt's fault for being so damned likeable._ He smiled bitterly at this last thought; it was true, everyone liked Matt. Even complete strangers always seemed to get along with him. _He could have his pick of all the friends in the world...so of course he'd choose Near, who's "better", over me._

Maybe it had always been hopeless. Maybe he'd deluded himself from the start, thinking that he could possibly be better than Near or have something that Near didn't...or someone. _Just one little thing...that's all I wanted. Is that too much to ask for?_

Near didn't seem to notice he had ever moved. Seating himself on the edge of the bed again, Mello defeatedly turned and offered the dinosaur to him. _If it makes Matt happy...fine. Fine. You can be friends with him...but you better take damned good care of him! He's the best friend anybody could want—if you don't appreciate that, you don't deserve him!_

Looking at the toy, and then up at him with such pain in his eyes that Mello wondered if he really had lied about being hurt, Near reached out and took it with both hands. "Mello," he whispered, staring down at the dinosaur's toothy grin sadly, "Matt died...for nothing. I lied to him and hurt his feelings...and after I pretended not to want to be his friend, h-he died defending me. Why? I was cold to him—wh-why did he do it?"

* * *

It was too much. Everything...all of the pain and panic and fear he'd felt over the past few days, the confusion and happiness and guilt from dealing with Matt, and finally the aching loss that he felt every time he remembered that the redhead was gone...it was all too much.

Near wasn't an emotional person. The few people he knew didn't seem aware of 90 percent of his feelings, and the other 10 percent were very mild. The secret to being so apathetic, though, was that he really didn't care about very many things. Matt was different...Matt was his first real friend.

_And by way of thanks, I hurt him, then let him die without ever telling him the truth. I am awful..._ He couldn't remember a time he had ever fallen apart this much. He was sobbing again, hugging the dinosaur tightly and numbly acknowledging that Mello was talking to him. He didn't care what the blonde was saying; it didn't matter, did it? Nothing anybody said or did could bring Matt back.

_Matt..._ He felt sick. His stomach hurt; not the stitches, just an ache from sobbing so hard, but it made him feel even worse. _I deserve it—I am the reason that Matt died. Why did he have to be so kind...? If he had left me alone and gone with Mello, Mikami wouldn't have shot him!_

He barely noticed when someone scooped him up into their arms, cradling him against their chest. Through blurry tears, he saw a splash of red glass, and there was the smell of leather. _M-Mello. _The blonde was the one who was carrying him... He continued to cling to the dinosaur like the last remaining reminder of Matt that it was, squeezing his eyes tightly closed. _Maybe Mello and I have switched emotions—h-he seems so calm, even though he knows what happened to Matt..._

"Let's get back to the hospital," the blonde murmured gently beside his ear. Near turned and hid his face in Mello's shoulder, offering no reply. _I am not hurt...why bother to go to the hospital again? I-I just want to go home..._

Even home would seem empty without Matt, though. Everywhere would now...

--End Chapter 19

* * *

AN: You guys have NO IDEA how much trouble this chapter gave me... I must have written and re-written the whole first half a dozen times, outlines and all, and the last half at least four times itself. It doesn't help speed the scenes along when Mello's reluctant to even try comforting Near and Near barely speaks so he's not interested in explaining what he has to explain in any particular scene! x.x;

Mello's being a meanie and not telling Near that Matt's okay yet...and while that might seem pretty horrible, remember that Mello thinks Near's pretty much emotionless. He can barely believe that Near _is_ upset, even with it happening right in front of him. As selfish as Mello seems at the moment, he _was_ mad at Mikami for hurting Near, not just for hurting Matt, and that says something I think.

As for Near...the way I see it, somebody who's as flat as he usually is could only get upset in one of two different ways. He would either be crying and still look flat and emotionless about it...or he'd really lose it, because he barely ever expresses emotion that much at one time. I went with the latter, I admit, just because this way it freaks Mello out more, which was amusing for me to write. =P

Matt's back next chapter—and L, too!

Trivia: The title of this chapter has a double meaning! It stands for Near being moved to tears (an extremely rare occurrence), and also stands for Mello moving Near to take him back to the hospital. I guess if you want to look at it this way, it could also stand for Mello REmoving the straps from Near.

Hope you had a good read...see you in...dun dun dunnn! Chapter 20! :D

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 19**

Akugi #73

Narrator: With the straps still on his wrists and ankles, all he could really do to resist her prodding was to plead with her not to.

Near: (Twitch) _Not necessarily..._ (Waits for Takada to bring her hand close to his face; CHOMP)

Takada: O_O "Your blood I can handle, but MINE? Uh-uh." (Faints)

Near: u.u "Now Mello, will YOU please untie me?"

Mello: (Crosses arms) "No, I'd rather watch you try and solve the strap problem with your teeth, too." (Smirk)

Akugi #74

Mello: "...you think he wants _any_ stranger taking his clothes off and looking him over?!"

Near: ; "...For the record, I don't particularly want you to try that either, Mello."

Akugi #75

Narrator: So he was Matt's stand-in...

Mello: (Shakes fist) "What the hell?! I've been demoted to number 3's STAND-IN?! My grades aren't as good as Near's, but they're not THAT bad!"

Near: (Smirk) "It's because you are blonde."

Akugi #76

Mello: _That means he touched him everywhere that's red..._

Near: (Has a big red smily face painted on his stomach, with a neat "SAKUJO" in Japanese below it) -.-; "Please stop gawking and untie me, Mello."


	20. After the Fact

**In Charge**

**Chapter 20 – After the Fact**

By Threshie

AN: Wow, chapter 20...wow, I remember saying "wow" at chapter 5. XD LOL; it's been great writing this, you guys, really it has. No, this isn't the last chapter...but we're getting there. :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Blue and red flashed across the pavement all around them, casting an eerie, wobbly glow on the inhabitant of the back seat. Perched with his knees hugged to his chest in a way that made wearing a seatbelt impossible, the black-haired man nibbled his thumbnail thoughtfully and stared out the window with wide, dark eyes.

_Near's all right... _The white-haired boy had been recovered "alive with minor injuries," as the cop who had called had put it. L had received the call only a few minutes ago. Mello had left his cell phone at the police station, so the sergeant in charge of the police team he'd sent after the blonde had been the one to call and inform him of what had happened.

Mikami had been apprehended; apparently there had been a struggle of sorts, as the tall man had ended up being shot somehow. The sergeant hadn't elaborated much; he'd said he would write up a report once they investigated the scene and had more information.

L didn't particularly care about what the investigation revealed; Mikami had been captured, Near was all right, and Mello was bringing him back to the hospital. That had been all that he'd needed to hear.

_I would have come to this conclusion and located them within a day or two, but the phone number sped things up considerably._ He glanced sidelong at the driver as they took an abrupt turn. He was used to Watari being the driver, and Watari he trusted to drive safely...the woman behind the wheel now wasn't even aware that she was driving the great detective L around, as he'd of course introduced himself to the police as Ryuzaki. It was a little uncomfortable not knowing the driver's tendencies...

He sighed, relenting in his thumbnail-biting and placing both hands carefully onto the tops of his knees instead. _It's my own fault, I suppose... _He'd been preoccupied in his research at the station, and when Watari had asked if he could return to the house to start cleaning up the inevitable mess that formed whenever he was away (none of the detectives in the household were particularly orderly or good at picking up after themselves, unfortunately), L had agreed and waved him away.

After receiving word that Near had been recovered, L had decided to go to the hospital and let Matt know. The redhead was obviously pretty anxious about this whole situation; it would be kind to give him the good news. Besides, since Mello was bringing Near to the hospital, it made sense to be there when they arrived. In light of the fact that it wasn't a very long trip to the hospital, L had decided to ask an officer to drive him there rather than to summon Watari back within a half hour of his departure, though...hence the high-speed drive with the lady cop at the wheel.

_Oh, well. At these speeds, I'll be at the hospital in no time at all._ There wasn't anything particularly urgent he needed to investigate for this case anymore, and he figured that he would tell Matt the good news that Near had been recovered. Mello had traveled across town; he and Near wouldn't be back for at least a half hour yet.

His mind returned to the phone number.

Mikami had had a completely different number listed on his employee paperwork. After Mello had left, the great detective had rummaged through all of the new information that the Restricted phone's number and location had revealed. It had been the most important missing piece of the puzzle in the end...

An online search had shown that the phone service attached to Mikami's number was billed to another Japanese person; a man by the name of Taro Kagami. A search on Kagami's name showed that the address where Mikami had been hiding Near was also rented in Kagami's name...and, more importantly, that Taro Kagami and Teru Mikami were related. Not immediately related, as that would have come up in the search for Mikami's relatives.

Kagami was Mikami's uncle.

Interestingly enough, Kagami was only Mikami's senior by seven years. Pictures of the two side by side showed a striking resemblence... There wasn't any mistake—the Teru Mikami who was Kagami's nephew was the same man who had kidnapped Near, despite Kagami living in Japan while Mikami lived in the United States.

With the Restricted phone number and the address rented by Kagami, L had uncovered all of this in less than fifteen minutes. He'd pulled up Kagami's phone number also, and had called the man promptly to find out more. It wasn't really important anymore—Mello would either recover Near or he wouldn't—but perhaps for L it was a way of distracting himself. After all, he'd sent Mello to go rescue Near, and couldn't really do anything but wait in the meantime. This way at least he might uncover more information about why Mikami had done what he had done...

_Mr. Kagami didn't seem all that surprised that I was calling about Mikami,_ L recalled thoughtfully. _Although I woke him up in the small hours of the morning by Japanese time...perhaps he was too sleepy to muster much of a reaction._ Oh, well; it had worked to L's advantage that Kagami was sleepy when he answered the phone. The man had been cooperative in answering his questions, but sounded saddened to hear that his nephew had become a kidnapper.

He didn't seem surprised, though.

Mikami had never been the same since his mother died, Kagami had explained. He had never known his father, who left the family when he was only a few years old, and had no siblings. He was a teenager when his mother died. Feeling sorry for him, his uncle had taken him in, put him through the rest of high school, and helped him get into a good college as well. Mikami seemed determined to succeed...his grades were flawless, and as soon as he graduated, he was singled out for a job with an American hospital from the top students in his nursing program. When his had moved to the United States to pursue his career, Kagami had had hope that he had gotten his life back together and would be all right after all.

_Obviously that wasn't the case. So he went from a straight-A nursing student to a kidnapper and possibly worse..._ L frowned, reaching over to grip the back of the front seat as the police cruiser came to an abrupt stop. He peeked over the driver's shoulder and sighed, settling back into his seat.

_Red light._

Kagami had explained that he had rented a house for Mikami and paid for his cell phone service as well because he'd known that Mikami's salary would be middle-class for the first year or two. Kagami was well-off, and as such Mikami was used to living that way...so his uncle had rented the house for him as a going-away present to make sure that he was well taken care of.

"Teru seems to do well on his own, but he's very set in his ways," Kagami had said unhappily, "If you try to change his routines too much, he freaks out...so I tried to make his new home as much like his old one as possible. This isn't illegal, Ryuzaki-san—families look after their own in the United States too, don't they?"

_Obviously Kagami didn't intentionally help Mikami hide from the police; it was just convenient for Mikami that the house wasn't listed under his name. _For all L knew, Mikami hadn't even thought of being tracked by his home's rental records, forgetting all about it as he'd done with the hospital's security cameras. A whole mess of factors had come together just right to make it difficult to find the man when he didn't want to be found, that was all...

_This all points to paranoia. Mikami's nursing job can't possibly produce enough wages for him to rent a giant and expensive house all for himself. If I think about it from the perspective that he is paranoid, then he probably rented the second tiny apartment as a front so that the hospital wouldn't question his excellent living conditions and possibly believe that he was working a second job during the full-time hours of his nursing job. The same could apply to the alternate phone number listed on his paperwork...hmm..._

The screech of brakes startled him out of his theorizing. Grabbing onto the back of the seat, the great detective peered over the shoulder of the driver again—or rather he would have, if the driver was still in her seat. The front door was open and the woman had already climbed out.

"All right, Mr. Ryuzaki, we're here," she said impatiently, leaning down to look back inside the door at him.

Peeking out the window at the enormous hospital building, L murmured, "I see that...that was fast. Thank you for the ride, officer." He tugged on the door handle delicately with a finger and thumb, stepping out onto the pavement slowly and turning to close it behind him. It felt strange opening and closing his own car door; Watari usually did it before he got the chance to try. It was kind of fun to do it himself instead, actually...

He smiled, earning a strange look from the policewoman that he readily ignored. The smile faded quickly, however, when he noticed something pattering softly onto the top of his head.

_It's raining,_ he realized, glancing up at the darkening sky with a look of bemusement. _It wasn't raining when we left the station..._ The light droplets bouncing off of his hair didn't really bother him, but he decided that he'd rather be indoors when the lady cop hopped back into her cruiser and revved the engine loudly. Hurriedly, the black-haired man stepped back before her departure splashed the growing puddles on the road onto his white shirt. In moments, she was gone, the sound of the engine vanishing almost as rapidly as the sight of the black and white vehicle she drove.

Standing there in the darkness, L calmly considered the fact that he was miles from home with no one coming to pick him up. It felt spontaneous...unplanned. He wasn't used to doing things he hadn't planned for at least a little—foresight was something that came automatically to him. _I suppose I was distracted by all of this Mikami and Kagami business, though._

_Oh, well. I don't plan on leaving this place tonight, anyway. I hope that Matt is still awake so that I can tell him about Near, but if he isn't I'll still be here tomorrow morning._

Turning, he shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced up at the glowing sign at the top floor of the hospital, then shuffled off toward the entrance, battered tennis shoes making a soft splish-splashing sound in the puddles.

* * *

Mello fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat. It hadn't seemed right to send Near back to the hospital by himself, so he had tossed his motorcycle keys to an irritated-looking cop and had another more eager-to-please officer drive him and the smaller boy back to the hospital in his police cruiser. He was beginning to regret it, though; Near was leaning on his shoulder.

_At least he's not crying anymore._ The blonde glanced down at his rival, frowning. His clumsy attempts at comforting Near back at the house hadn't worked at all, and so he'd just given up and decided that getting back to the hospital was the best course of action. Near had quieted after about five minutes of driving, though, and sat hugging the dinosaur tightly, leaning against Mello's side.

_I have to tell him Matt's not really dead before we get to the hospital,_ he reminded himself. In the process of making sure his motorcycle was taken care of and getting them a ride back, he'd almost forgotten that he had lied to Near and let him think that Mikami had killed the redhead. _Not "lied", exactly,_ he protested inwardly, frowning, _I just kind of let him assume..._

He sighed, reaching over and pulling the blanket back up onto Near's shoulder where it had fallen down again. It was the same difference, and he knew it. Near obviously believed that Matt was dead, and he had quite intentionally not corrected the white-haired boy. _He never would've even talked to me about what I asked him about if he knew Matt was okay, though._ Curiosity had beaten kindness in Mello's reasoning this time around. Only, now that he had gotten the chance to ask Near what he'd wanted to ask, he had to explain the truth...

Near had finally calmed down, though. No time seemed like the right time to tell him. _Of course not—it's _kind_ of an awkward subject,_ the blonde told himself sarcastically. _How the hell could I say it and not sound like a jerk? "Oh, by the way, Near, Matt's alive. Just thought I'd clear that up..."? Ugh...let's face it, it was pretty low not to say anything. I mean, if I thought Matt was dead, and _he_ just let me assume I was right..._ He scowled. That wasn't a very pretty scenario...

_Just suck it up and tell him, or you're gonna regret having to explain in front of Matt when you get back to the damned hospital!_

"Near, listen," he took a deep breath, glancing out the window rather than at the white-haired boy. "...Matt...the bullet missed his heart. He's alive, okay? He's waiting for us back at the hospital." He bit his lip, staring carefully out the window. It was dark outside...the cruiser's red and blue lights reflected glaringly off of glistening pavement. _Wet...it's raining. Dammit...why doesn't he say something already?! _He glanced uneasily down at the white-haired boy...and stared.

Near's eyes were closed, his head lulled against Mello's shoulder.

_Asleep?! You've got to be kidding me...!_

After the kind of ordeal he'd been through and expressing more emotion than he usually did in months or even years at a time, it wasn't any wonder that Near was exhausted. The timing wasn't very convenient for Mello's plans, though.

"Dammit..." The blonde sighed, leaning his forehead on one hand tiredly and closing his eyes. _I can't wake him up just to tell him—it'd be nice for _me_, but..._ He let the thought trail off, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. He was actually considering Near's well-being before his own, wasn't he? _Why do I even care, anyway? It doesn't matter if I'm nice to him—it doesn't matter if he knows Matt's okay or not, either! He's gonna find out soon enough anyway, so...you know what, forget it. He and Matt are gonna be best friends and ditch me at the first opportunity no matter what I do. _

Reaching the hospital wouldn't hold any happiness for him, he was sure. If anything, it would just prove firsthand that he had finally lost to Near entirely. _So what if Matt thinks I'm a jerk for not telling Near he's okay? It's not like it'll _change_ anything, and hell, maybe if he gets mad instead of trying to be his usual nice-guy self then I can yell at him back and not feel bad about it for once. _ What a bitter thought...he kind of felt bad to be thinking such things, even if they were true.

_...So, I went and saved Near for Matt...and once I get back, I'll get nothing out of it at all. Matt will be nice and thank me for saving Near, but he'll be too busy worrying over him to remember I'm even there after that! Hell, once he figures out I let Near think he's dead, he probably won't even thank me...either way, now that _Near's_ back, I know who his best friend's going to be no matter what I do._

Horrible as Near's week had been, he found himself wishing to switch places. At least then he would be the best at something...he'd be Matt's best friend again.

* * *

_It's been at least an hour since Mello left..._ Matt sighed, shifting slightly in the bed. He wished for the umpteeth time that he could turn over onto his side, but of course his injury prevented that. Moving around much sent faint twinges of pain through his chest, even with the pain medication, and so he was lying as still as he could. Opening his eyes again, he stared dully up at the ceiling. _I hope Mello and Near are okay. I wish I could do something more useful than lay around waiting for them to get back!_

He glanced at the Gameboy, which was still where Mello had placed it for him on the bedside table, but didn't bother reaching for it. As much as he wanted to do something, he was pretty sure that he couldn't distract himself by playing games. It wasn't boredom he felt, so much as...anxiousness. _It's already dark outside—does that mean Mello's gonna face Mikami in the dark? In the dark _with_ a silenced gun? _He frowned, trying not to think about such things. There wasn't anything he could do about it, so worrying was pointless...right?

_I'm worried anyway, though. At least I can do _that_ right now...think of them. If nothing else, I'll do that._

The faint sound of the door opening drifted to his ears. Figuring that it was the overly-apologetic nursing intern who had come in the last two times, the redhead didn't even glance toward the newcomer as their footsteps told him they were coming inside. _"Sayu", was it? I'm not hungry, you don't hafta come in here every twenty minutes trying to make me eat..._

"Matt...?"

The voice definitely wasn't Sayu's. It was...

_L!_ Turning his head quickly to look, he confirmed what the distinctive voice had already told him; the black-haired man with dark circles under his eyes was making his way across the room, hands shoved in his pockets. His disheveled hair was dripping wet, as were the shoulders of his white long-sleeved T-shirt, and he had an intent look on his face.

"Ah, good, you are awake," L murmured, never taking his wide eyes from the redhead as he pulled the nearby folding chair a bit closer to the bed and climbed onto it, perching in his usual distinctive way. He rested a hand delicately atop each knee, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was dripping wet.

_Guess it's raining outside... _Matt wished he had a towel to offer him; he hated it when people walked around with their hair wet. Mello did it, too, and sometimes it dripped water all over his electronics back home...

L was still staring at him; his expression was unreadable. He looked like he had something to say, but Matt couldn't decide if it was bad news or good news. _Maybe he's just waiting, too, and he has _no_ news. It's possible..._

"So, how are you feeling?"

_Lousy--why even ask?_ The redhead sighed, glancing down at the bandages on his chest.

"I'm okay, I guess," he answered as honestly as he could; he decided it wasn't necessary to force a smile for L's benefit. _Especially not when I can't tell if _he's_ happy or not, anyway..._ "Thanks for coming to see me..." _It's pretty dull here by myself. Doesn't help when I can't think of anything but the fact that Mello and Near are out there somewhere with Mikami...and that the person who shot me was one of this hospital's staff._

Dr. Lidner seemed genuine, at least. He knew it was unfair to assume that any of the other nurses were homicidal just because Mikami was, but it was kind of difficult not to at least consider the possibility every time he saw one of them now.

"Ah, you're welcome..." The great detective paused, as if considering his words carefully, and propped a thumb against his bottom lip. "I have some news about Near, Matt."

_...!_

"D-did Mello find him?" The redhead asked immediately, staring back with eyes almost as wide as his mentor's. _"News"--not good or bad, just "news." Please don't say Mikami hurt Mello, too...he had a _gun,_ so..._

"Yes, he did," L murmured, nibbling on his thumbnail thoughtfully. "He has some minor injuries, but nothing serious; Mello is on his way back with him now."

"That's...I-I'm really glad." Matt settled back into the pillow, smiling uneasily. Relief flooded through him, but with it came concern. _He's not in Mikami's hands anymore—thank god for that—but he's hurt, too. "Minor" injuries are still injuries—so what happened to him, exactly? Did Mikami hurt him...? _He was afraid that was the only possibility. Not looking at L again, he asked quietly, "D-do you know what kind of injuries he's got?"

"The officer that called me didn't elaborate," L murmured, rifling around in his pockets for something. Pulling a handful of brightly-wrapped hard candies out of one of his jeans' side pockets, he heaped them onto the bedside table and meticulously began to divide them into piles of individual colors. He managed to look completely absorbed in what he was doing, but to sound perfectly conversational as he added, "He and Mello should arrive here in less than half an hour...we'll just have to wait and see what's happened to him. Mello would have called me himself if it was anything really serious, I'm sure."

"Yeah, I guess so, huh?" Matt watched L sort and pile the candies, trying to be optimistic. _At least he's alive and Mikami doesn't have him anymore. At least he's safe now._ He wondered if Near would be irritated if he gave away how glad he was for that when the white-haired boy got back. After all, Near had rejected his friendship, so they weren't supposed to regard the other with any particular importance over anybody else...right? _...I wish I was smarter so he would reconsider. I must bore him to death, for him to prefer being alone over my company..._

He closed his eyes.

"Hey, L?"

"Yes, Matt?" The detective's voice was comfortingly close by; it was like talking to him on the phone, where he could be heard nearby but not seen. The soft rustling of plastic candy wrappers punctuated his words.

_Maybe he can help me. L knows what to do in any situation, doesn't he? I mean...he's probably the smartest person alive. This'll probably sound unbelievably simplistic to him, but..._ He sighed. It didn't matter anymore; he'd failed at getting Near to be his friend, so this was just a way to make sense of his disappointment, really.

"Have you ever...I don't know, felt like you really got along with somebody, but they didn't agree?" _I don't know what I did wrong, but I know this...Near didn't prefer being alone over talking to me when we first came to the hospital. He said he'd rather be alone once we got home, though...does that mean he only spent so much time talking to me because if I left he'd be by himself? _

He frowned faintly. _So he only even gave me the time of day because he was scared of doing anything else...go figure, I guess nobody that smart would bother with somebody like me otherwise..._

"...I can't say that that's ever happened to me, no." L sounded like his curiosity was piqued. Opening his eyes, Matt glanced and saw that the black-haired man was, indeed, staring at him intently now, his candies forgotten on the table. He still gripped one lightly between a thumb and index fingertip, but seemed to have forgotten his own actions, too, holding perfectly still. "Why, have you?"

Uncomfortable with those wide eyes piercing right into his thoughts, Matt turned his head and looked away toward the wall near the bed. He didn't really want to reply to that question at the moment. _It would make it too obvious what's on my mind. Somebody as smart as L probably already knows, anyway..._ He was surprised that L hadn't ever been in that particular situation at least once, but doubted that he'd be at a loss for what to do, even if it was the first time something like it had ever happened to him. Surely L had made at least a few friends in the course of traveling and doing all of his important work... _I think, anyway. Maybe he was too busy working? It doesn't matter anyway, I guess..._

"Is it hard being so smart?" He asked, instead of answering L's question. He was thinking back on the first few days in the hospital as he said it. _Near couldn't stop thinking long enough to even rest when I first brought him here...and L's even smarter than him, isn't he? Must be hard to even slow down long enough to explain things for people like me..._

"Hard?" L sounded a bit surprised. "What do you mean, exactly...?"

Sighing, the redhead turned his head to look the detective in the eye again.

"Isn't it boring, always dealing with people who aren't as smart as you?" He asked pointedly, trying not to look as glum as he felt about this subject. He was on the "boring" side of the spectrum for sure... "I mean...nobody's even close to being on your level, right?"

L was silent for a long moment. Turning, he carefully placed the candy he'd been holding onto the table. Untwisting the wrapper, he plucked the round orange drop from inside and popped it into his mouth, smiling slightly.

"Brains aren't everything, Matt. I don't measure a person's worth by how high their IQ is—there are other things that make them interesting besides that."

_Really..._

"Like what?" The redhead sighed, examining the IV needle where it sank into his wrist. It had been there since he'd awakened in the hospital bed; having a needle stay in his arm for hours was giving him new respect for Near's ability to ignore the same thing. It wasn't exactly comfortable...in fact, he kept having to resist the urge to yank it out like a giant splinter. _Near had _two_ of these—ugh, I hope I never have to do that._

"Hmm, how to explain this...I suppose it's different for each person," L murmured, examining his candy collection intently. He almost picked one up, then withdrew his hand, scrutinizing them carefully again. "...Mello comes to mind the quickest for this. He has a singleminded devotion to getting what he wants that I can't help but admire. I'm afraid I just don't take action as intently when _I_ want something." He plucked a candy from the top of the pile that was wrapped in gold foil, holding it above his head and peering up at it as if it was something profound.

Matt watched this, feeling no more cheerful than he had before starting this conversation. _Okay, so...he admires people's personalities, not just their intelligence levels. Great—I'm not just dumb compared to him and Mello and Near, I'm pretty boring, too!_ Mello and Near were just better people over-all, he was sure. _I can't ever measure up to either of them—why am I even asking L this stuff? I already know Near doesn't want to be friends because I'm not good enough. Because we "don't have much in common at all", he said—a kind way to say it. Since he's so brilliant and important, and we're not alike at all, that means I'm really...mediocre and unimportant._

He would've dropped the subject there, but now that he'd started this odd conversation, L seemed content to continue it.

"Near sees things differently than anybody else," the great detective continued thoughtfully, now unwrapping the candy he'd been holding before. "...I wonder what the world looks like to him? I wish that I could see the world like he does, even for a few moments...I'm sure that it would be an interesting experience."

Envisioning Near oh-so-seriously enacting a fight between with the dinosaur and the green army men, Matt couldn't help but smile a little.

"Y-yeah...me, too." _Heh...he really is something special. I wish..._ He let the thought trail off; it was foolish to sit and beat himself up like this, and to waste L's time with stupid questions when he already knew the answers. _Don't wish you were good enough anymore—wishing doesn't change anything. At least you still have a great friend like Mello...who puts up with you for some reason._ When he thought about that too much, he really couldn't come up with a good reason why...

"And another thing that I admire in a person is selflessness," L said, "Someone who puts others before themselves...I'm afraid I'm a lot more selfish than you, Matt."

"H-huh? _Me_?" Matt blinked, staring at him. _Selfless...I don't know about that...am I? _He spent a lot more time worrying about what made Mello happy than what made him happy, but he wasn't sure he would call it "selfless", exactly...

Sticking the red candy he was holding into his mouth, L bobbed his head.

"Mm, yep, you're the most unselfish person I know. You always put others before yourself, I've noticed." He leaned forward slightly, adding curiously, "How do you do it...? I've been wondering if you actually enjoy having Mello order you around so much."

_Does it really seem that way? He doesn't order me around, exactly...well, yeah, he does, but it's not like I _have _to do what he wants..._

"That's how Mello shows people he cares about them, though," Matt explained quickly, glancing at the black-haired man. L watched him intently back. "If he ever _stopped_ bossing me around, I'd be really worried!"

"Heh..." The great detective's lips curved into a secretive smile that reminded Matt all too much of Near's, and the redhead finally realized that he'd known that all along. _H...he's teasing me! _He smiled sheepishly, feeling silly. Of course L knew that Mello wasn't being a jerk by ordering him around—he and Mello and Near had lived around the black-haired man most of their lives. _He probably knows us better than _we_ do..._

The soft swish of the door swinging open snagged the redhead's attention. _Is it...?_ Glancing quickly, he looked for blonde or white hair...and was disappointed to see black instead. Sayu, the rather inexperienced intern he'd met before, stepped into the room with a small grin on her face.

"Mr. Kennedy! I have great news!"

"What is it?" L turned and glanced over his shoulder at her, staring as intently as ever. The girl shrank a bit under that gaze, laughing nervously.

"W-well, um...the police have recovered your son! He just arrived here. I-I know it's not my place, Mr. Kennedy, but you guys don't look at _all_ alike..."

_They're back!_ Matt thought in relief. L had said that Near had been recovered, but for some reason his mind hadn't considered the white-haired boy safe until he was back at the hospital.

"He's adopted," L said flatly, not batting an eye as Sayu raised an eyebrow skeptically in response.

"When can we see them?" Matt spoke up, anxious. _If they didn't just come here, the injuries were bad enough to need treatment first..._

"'Them'?" Sayu blinked, "There's only one patient, sir—Near Kennedy, your brother. Wow, _you_ guys don't look alike, either..." She leaned forward to scrutinize the redhead's features, 'hmm'ing suspiciously to herself.

Fidgeting, Matt sweatdropped and answered uneasily, "W-we're both adopted, okay? The other guy I'm talking about is Mello, and he's not a patient. He's a blonde guy with longish hair, wears a lot of black leather and a rosary. He should've arrived when Near did."

Sayu gasped, slapping a hand over her mouth.

"O-oh! Oh....that was a _guy_?! My god, he's really, uh...pretty!"

Matt wasn't sure how to respond to this, so he settled for shooting her a funny look. Mello didn't seem particularly pretty to him...his hairstyle could be considered feminine, and it was a rare guy who walked around in bare midriff clothing, but...he was definitely a _guy_... _Isn't it obvious from looking at him?_

Giggling a bit still, Sayu added, "Anyway, your brother's seeing Dr. Lidner about his injuries and then he can come visit you right here, so don't move."

_As if I could,_ Matt thought, sweatdropping again. He was reassured by what he was hearing, though. If Near could come to his room, he must be able to walk around, so his injuries couldn't be _that_ terrible... _Physical injuries are one thing. I wonder how he's holding up, though..._ He glanced at L, who was listening with a nonplussed look on his face as Sayu went on about how she had been _sure_ Mello was a girl because he painted his fingernails. _L said being in a hospital scared him—if that scared him, a kidnapping has to affect him. I hope he'll be okay..._

"Thank you, we'll wait for them," L cut in when Sayu had to pause for breath. Blinking, the girl blushed and bowed quickly.

"Right! Sorry, I guess I got carried away...man, you're serious that that's a guy? _Wow_..." Mumbling and giggling to herself, the petite intern departed as quickly as she had come.

Matt closed his eyes, wondering what state Near would be in when they saw each other again finally. He'd never seen the white-haired boy act anything but calm and collected, but that couldn't be the only emotion he was capable of. _Being left alone in his room scared him, or at least he didn't like it much. Being alone with Mikami, for days..._

Frowning, he told himself to just wait and see. Near was a strong person, stronger than him certainly. He was probably all right...

_I hope._

--End Chapter 20

* * *

AN: Oya! There's just no easy way to write as much info as Mikami's past history stuff and make it very interesting. Sorry there wasn't much action in that scene (besides L chewing his thumbnails and hanging on for dear life thanks to that lady cop's driving, of course. XD) As with chapter 19, I went over this thing about a dozen times (not re-writing, thank goodness, but re-reading and tweaking and editing...), so at this point my eyes kind of gloss over when I try to read it, and as such I might miss an error or two in here. Let me know in a review if you find any, okay? Then I can fix them.

My college quarter started up again this week, so working on homework slowed down my writing. That's why this chapter took so long in coming. Please keep in mind that since I'm doing full-time college work too, I might be slower about updating. Don't worry, I am NOT abandoning this fic—I wanna finish it too much to do that! :)

Trivia: The title for this chapter refers to L researching Mikami even after he had located him and didn't need to know anything else to get Near back. It also refers to Matt thinking asking L advice about friendship is after the fact, since he considers his chances of befriending Near to be nil after Near turned him down flatly. I guess he just wants to understand why Near did turn him down—because he wasn't smart enough to be on Near's "level", or something else?

So, besides hitting 20 chapters this chapter is also a milestone because its the first one to have a scene from L's point of view. (Hopefully I wrote him okay...he's my favorite Death Note character, and no matter what I write it doesn't seem to do his awesomeness justice. XD; ) ANOTHER milestone is that as of the time that I post this chapter, "In Charge" has 100 reviews—wow! Thank you guys so much for your encouraging and supportive comments—keep 'em coming, ne? XD;

Annnd one MORE milestone for this chapter is reaching 80 Akugis! (So many milestones they make my head spin, really!)

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 20**

Akugi #77

Threshie: "Wow, chapter 20...wow, I remember saying "wow" at chapter 5." XD

Mello: "...And chapter 15."

Matt: "And chapter 20!" ^^

Mello: "That was _this_ chapter, Matt."

Matt: "Well it was so long it felt like it was last chapter..." (Wonders when he'll get his goggles back again...)

Threshie: (Sweatdrop) "I remember saying I wouldn't write a chapter longer than 11-12 pages ever again back in chapter 12..."

Matt: "Yeah, well, chapter 19 kind of did away with _that_ promise. It had 13 pages."

Mello: (Twitch) "Stop remembering trivia and start writing chapter 21, dammit!"

Akugi #78

Narrator: ...and, more importantly, that Taro Kagami and Teru Mikami were related. Not immediately related, as that would have come up in the search for Mikami's relatives.

L: (Gasp) "Taro Kagami is Teru Mikami's nephew's roommate's mother's sister's son's aunt's second cousin twice-removed!"

Mikami: -_-; "How the hell did that man find me again?! I even moved to another _country_ to avoid him...!"

Akugi #79

Matt: "If he ever _stopped_ bossing me around, I'd be really worried!"

L: C_C; "Me, too...that would mean he was bossing somebody else around instead." (Figures it would be him since Near would just ignore Mello's orders entirely.) _...Although if he sent me to buy chocolate, I could buy sweets for myself at the same time. _(Seriously considers)

Akugi #80

Sayu:(Gasps and slaps hand over mouth) "O-oh! Oh....that was a _guy_?! My god, he's really, uh...pretty!"

Matt: (Grabs her by collar and pulls her down to eye-level) o_o "Don't _ever_ let him hear you say that, okay?! Do you have any idea what happened to the LAST person who called him the...P-WORD?!"

L: (Munches candies) "He's technically still considered 'missing'..."


	21. Sympathy

**In Charge**

**Chapter 21 – Sympathy**

By Threshie

AN: Welcome to chapter 21. I'm sorry this took so long in coming—I had a distinctive difficulty with how to start the first scene. Actually, the whole thing gave me a good bit of trouble...whenever these kinds of chapters come along, there comes a point where I realize that I'll neve rbe entirely happy with it and I need to post it and go on with writing the rest. That's where this one is. (Sweatdrop) Enjoy; sorry this's such a depressing way to get back into posting for this fic...

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Near lay on his back, dark eyes staring flatly up at the ceiling. Without the baggy pajama shirt, he looked smaller and paler than ever. When they had arrived and Dr. Lidner saw the crimson all over the garment, she'd asked that he take it off so that she could take a look at his injuries. Little did she know at the time that the blood had just come from the IV needle being yanked out. Near hadn't said anything to correct her; he had hurriedly taken the shirt off, though. After his experience with Mikami, he probably didn't want to give the nurses any chances to help him remove it.

Now, only a few minutes after they'd arrived, Dr. Lidner spoke gently to Near while she examined the stitches on his stomach. If he heard her or was affected by whatever she was saying, he wasn't reacting outwardly—he just stared tiredly at the ceiling above the bed, a distant look on his face. He didn't even blink; he could have been mistaken for being in a coma, for all of the interaction he was offering the nurses and doctor.

_At least he's not crying,_ Mello thought once again. Maybe Near had used up all of the emotion he could muster for the day, or maybe he was just still in shock from the ordeal he'd been through; whatever the case, he had been silent and seemed completely emotionless ever since Mello had carried him inside from the car. Carrying him had seemed like the right thing to do...he'd looked so fragile and pale, curled up in the blanket on the seat, that Mello hadn't wanted to wake him. Picking him up had quickly ruled out that possibility, of course—as soon as the blonde wrapped his arms around Near, the smaller boy's eyes had popped open as if someone had hit him.

He'd looked confused about where he was for a moment, then wordlessly stared up at Mello. His eyes had been blank, completely blank...as if he didn't hold a shred of recognition for the blonde boy.

_For all I know he's blanked the whole Mikami part of the week out from the trauma, _Mello thought as he watched the doctor work from across the room, leaning against the wall beside the door with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. _I don't care what he says, I don't believe that bastard didn't do anything except put a needle in his arm and tie him up. People don't break down over things like that—and Near doesn't break down over _anything_... _

He felt almost as defeated as his rival looked at the moment.

This was it. Everything was going to change as soon as they went to see L and Matt.

He frowned, looking down at the floor. He couldn't beat this...there was nothing to do about it. He'd already lost, hadn't he? All that was left to do was to go and watch his friendship with Matt crumble away. _More like explode—he's gonna get mad at me for not telling Near he was okay. I'm not sure Near's capable of getting angry, but he'll be irritated at least—maybe. If he doesn't just stay blank like he is now, anyway. And L..._

He bowed his head a little lower, a twinge of some strong emotion going through his chest. He didn't want L to be disappointed in him, but that would probably happen, too. _So I went and saved Near like he asked me to—that'll make him happy, but once he finds out I let Near think Matt was dead, he'll probably be mad, too. Everybody may as well already be mad at me..._

Returning to Matt's room wasn't going to be a very pleasant experience at all.

He fidgeted, flicking a stray lock of hair away from his eyes. He was beginning to dread seeing Matt again...beginning to think of ways to delay it. The longer it took to see him again, the longer they would still be friends... _Don't be stupid—they're gonna meet up somehow, one way or another, and then nobody's going to care about you anymore. It doesn't matter how hard you try—you _lost_, dammit, Matt's already out of your reach!_

"Mello." The blonde boy looked up stiffly, blinking at the sound of his name. Dr. Lidner was standing right in front of him—he'd been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed her walking over.

"What?" He asked sharply. His tone was edgier than intended, but at the moment he didn't care—there wasn't any reason to be polite or cheerful to anybody. Nobody cared about him, so he wouldn't pretend to care about them, either; the bitterness was starting to leak into his behavior, even though the incident that was causing it hadn't happened yet. The anticipation was bad enough, though.

_Did Near win? I know I lost, but did Near win? Matt decided this more than Near did..._ It was some kind of cruel irony to think that Near had beaten him by default—that he hadn't even needed to _do_ anything to win. Nothing Near did better than him ever seemed to take the white-haired boy much effort, but this was getting obscene...

"Near needs several of his stitches to be re-done," Dr. Lidner said, unaware of his thoughts. She glanced a bit sympathetically back at the boy on the bed, adding, "It looks like he yanked an IV needle out of his right wrist, too, but that'll heal up easily on its own."

"Is that all?" Mello asked, glancing at the white-haired boy, too. Near was looking at one of the nurses, who was patting his shoulder and smiling. His expression hadn't changed.

_If Matt really was dead, I might actually feel sorry for him._ _As things are...I hate him even more! Damn you, Near—you're the cause of every problem I have to deal with right now, and all of _your_ problems will be solved in a few minutes!_ And solving the problems that Near had to deal with right now would only heap more onto Mello...

The blonde woman frowned, lowering her voice.

"The marks on his wrists and ankles concern me. They're not serious injuries—they don't even need bandages. But...what happened to him? Did Mikami do this?" She sounded thoroughly unhappy with the thought that any of her nurses would do such a thing, even if nobody at the hospital would have guessed that Mikami was really so deranged. Mello felt anger rising inside of him again at the very thought of the man, and for all of his conflicted and negative feelings toward Near at the moment, when he thought of Mikami, thoughts of protecting Near from him immediately sprang to mind, too.

_People like Mikami are lower than scum...even Near didn't deserve what happened to him. And that bastard shot Matt, too!_ Matt...whether the redhead cared about him or not, Mello knew he would always have a soft spot for Matt. Hurting Matt was as good as hurting Mello. He wasn't sure what to do, though, when the person hurting him _was_ Matt. _He doesn't mean to, I'll bet...but why Near? I never thought Matt of all people would compare us and side with Near!_ _I thought he cared about me more than that..._

His emotions were a tangled mess; first he hated Near, then he hated Mikami and he wanted to protect Near, then he was angry at Matt for caring about Near more than him...which made him hate Near again even more. But then, when he thought of Mikami...it was a vicious circle. The flurry of hate and fondness was exhausting...

"...Yes and no," he answered Dr. Lidner's question darkly, more because of his thoughts than the topic of conversation. He kept his voice low as well; if he didn't whisper right now, he would probably start screaming at somebody. Unfortunately combined with the dark tone that made his voice sound a bit hoarse; it came across as more "upset" than anything. "Mikami had him restrained with straps—he hurt himself trying to get them off."

_I hate Mikami for that... I hate Near, too, but...not like I hate Mikami! Dammit, but I _do_ hate Near, too... _It didn't matter if Near was the victim, he told himself, it was what Mikami had done that he hated him for. It wasn't entirely the truth...if it had been a complete stranger, he knew deep down that he would still be disgusted, but he wouldn't be so furious over it. He didn't want to feel sorry for Near right now, though. The last thing he wanted to do was to acknowledge that the white-haired boy was important to him in some strange way. _I hate him! I hate him, I hate him, I hate him....for being the person that Matt cares about most. _

He wanted nothing more than to hop on his motorcycle and speed away from everything, so fast and far that he could never find his way back. Running away didn't solve anything...but there didn't seem to be a solution to this problem anyway. _At least not for _me—_Matt and _Near_ will be happy. Bastards,_ he thought bitterly. He didn't mean it where Matt was concerned...at least, he didn't _think_ he meant it... _He could've thought of me a little bit. Just a _little_ would've been nice...but no, ever since I got back from that trip with L, it's "Near, Near, Near"! What the hell is so special about goddamned Near, anyway?!_

"Mello...tell me the truth," Dr. Lidner persisted in interrupting his thoughts, crossing her arms in an imitation of his posture. She frowned, blue eyes narrowly focused straight into his. "You're not just Near's neighbor, are you?"

Mello blinked; he hadn't expected that question at all. The cover story for who they were and why they were at the hospital couldn't have been further from his mind—hell, he'd almost forgotten that Near had originally come here because of appendicitis, not anything to do with Mikami.

"No," he said flatly, and left it at that. He wasn't prepared to combat the question with any realistic-sounding excuse, and he didn't care to invent one on the spot, either. _It's a stupid cover story anyway! Can you just work on Near's stitches so I can take him to Matt's room and we can get all of this over with already?_ He wasn't sure what he planned to do after the big "confrontation", but he wasn't looking forward to whatever it was. Maybe he _would_ get on his motorcycle and drive until there wasn't anymore road to drive on...

_I don't think I'd be far enough away even then. Nobody'll want me around after this stupid mess...even though I did everything I could to do my part, except that thing about telling Near Matt's okay. _Sure, it hadn't been kind, but it didn't seem like such a huge thing...then again, with the way that everyone seemed impressed by Near, surely they would overreact in his defense, too. Mello kind of hoped that they would...he wanted a good reason to storm off, any reason, because once Matt and Near were reunited, he didn't want to hang around and watch them be friends at last. _Dammit...this isn't fair! Why does Near get the happy ending and I get shoved off to the side?! Matt won't want to be my friend after today...because he cares about Near more than me now._

It hurt, it really did. It couldn't have been worse if Matt had come up to him and physically stabbed him in the chest. Mello wasn't accustomed to feeling hurt, and he decided right away that he didn't like it at all. That didn't change the fact that he did feel hurt by all of this...if denial helped anything, he would have solved all of his problems a long time about. _Why...I just want to know why. Was I born to not be good enough, or what...?_

"You said that Mikami had him tied up," Dr. Lidner's voice tugged him back to the present once again. She spoke more gently now, looking sympathetic and more than a little curious. "You must have been wherever the police found him to witness that. Do you work for the police, Mello?"

"No," the blonde gritted his teeth, "I just went along with them. Can you go do your _job_ now?" _What is this, Take Advantage of Mello Day? All I'm gonna get out of this whole situation is one less best friend and a bunch of people mad at me, so why does everybody have to cry on me and shoot at me and pick _my_ brain about the stupid cover story I didn't even invent?! Leave me the hell alone!_

Ever since lying about Matt's "death" he'd also had the bad feeling nagging at him. It was uncomfortable enough seeing Near hurt again—which bothered him, though he still wasn't sure why--without knowing that most of the pain he was going through right now was Mello's fault. There was also the fact that he could take it away in a moment just by telling the truth...

_I don't want to! He'll be happy in a few minutes—it's too late to say it now anyway._

Part of him wanted to do that, and "fix" things as he saw it, but another part of him believed that things would have come to this anyway, this ending of his friendship with Matt. Now that the redhead had befriended Near, Mello would drift further and further away...making everyone mad at him might be better in the long run. _Why drag it out—let's just get it over with. Anger ought to make it easier to say what needs to be said..._

He wasn't sure what he would do after today, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to live near L, Matt and Near anymore. He wouldn't be able to stand watching Matt spending all of his time with somebody else, being the odd one out while Matt and Near hung out together and L buried himself in the next case as he always did. _It wasn't much __of a life, anyway—why the hell have I even hung around this long? _

Matt was really the only reason he'd had to stay, wasn't he?

"All right," Dr. Lidner concluded their conversation testily, looking none too pleased with being snapped at. Turning, she headed back to Near's bedside and told one of the nurses to get the tools she would need to correct the stitches. _Finally she got the picture that I don't want to talk to her right now! I guess she has no way of knowing why, though..._

Mello sighed, looking down at the floor again. Even he was beginning to get angry at himself now. The doctor hadn't done anything wrong, there wasn't really any reason to be so snappy...

It didn't matter, though. Why not go all-out and let her think he was nothing but insensitive, too? It would complete the picture. It would compound the great irony that for the first time he could remember, he was bothered to see Near suffering, even while hating him. It bothered him that seeing Near in pain _could_ bother him...it didn't make sense. He did hate Near, didn't he?

_Yes, I do! I hate him!_ It was easy to think it, but...maybe he just hated the fact that Near got to be happy at his expense. _Oh, well. It doesn't matter if I hate him or not anymore. It doesn't matter if Dr. Lidner thinks I'm a jerk, either—let the whole world think I'm a jerk! They'll never see me again after today—and even if they did, I don't care what they think! I don't care..._

He kept telling himself that.

* * *

Another hospital bed, another IV.

Near didn't bother to watch while one of the nurses slid the slender piece of metal into his wrist. The needle prick stung, but the pain was only a minor irritation in the back of his mind, much like the dull ache coming from the new stitches that Dr. Lidner was in the process of sewing into him, and the hot stinging in both wrists from the evidence of his struggling against the straps.

He was silent even in his mind; no thoughts seemed worth thinking at the moment. Why bother? Things seemed exactly the same around him as they had been before Mikami kidnapped him, but everything had changed, too...if the hospital had seemed cold and uninviting before, now it seemed downright sinister.

It wasn't safe.

Everyone around him was a stranger.

Mello, the only person he really trusted, was across the room and didn't seem to be paying much attention to what was happening to him, either. If any of the nurses wanted to, they could easily pull a gun like Mikami had... It was foolish to be thinking such things, but he couldn't really help it. The last memory he had of this hospital was of Mikami shooting Matt and carrying him away.

"There you are," Dr. Lidner smiled, trimming off the extra thread in the stitches she had just finished tying off. "Just take it easy—you'll be feeling much better in no time. Take care not to move those stitches around too much, all right?"

Relenting in his motionlessness, the white-haired boy glanced at her glumly and nodded once. _Understood. Please let me go home now._ He wasn't sure what would happen now—probably more of this. More of people being overly concerned about him, more of this empty, flat feeling to an otherwise normal day, and more of Mello's silent scowling when he ought to be more upset. _It's not right...didn't he care about Matt a lot more than that? Mello is usually so emotional, I thought that he of anyone would be crying..._

He'd seen Mello cry many times over the years. The blonde had always been extreme and unguarded in his emotions, and the things that affected him most tended to be the bad ones. Of course he had always refused to even speak to Near during those times; usually whatever had upset him had to do with the white-haired boy, or if it hadn't then he blamed it on Near anyway. _Typical Mello...it was a way to prevent me from ever trying to __be kind to him. If I was the problem, the only way to help would be to stay away—and that must have been what he wanted._

Whether he wanted Near gone because he was the actual reason for the tears or because he might actually be sympathetic and Mello might actually see him in a positive light had never really been clear. Near suspected the latter; Mello seemed to need to hate him, somehow. It fueled his resolve to try his hardest at everything. _Without me, perhaps he would be laid-back like Matt._

He looked up as the subject of his thoughts crossed the room, coming to stand beside the bed. He did look hurt, somehow...but a restrained kind of hurt. He seemed unwilling to share his feelings with anyone at the moment, much like Near usually didn't bother to express his own very often.

_Why would he hold back, though? Not to hide from Dr. Lidner—judging by his expression, he isn't putting on a brave face for anyone. And yet he's so quiet...Mello isn't like this. Something is wrong._

He couldn't shake the feeling. He didn't expect Mello to be okay, of course; his best friend had just been killed. Near had seen the blonde boy explode into cursing or screaming for things much smaller in the past, though—Mello's lack of a reaction seemed like the wrong reaction unto itself.

"How can he walk anywhere with an IV in his arm?" The blonde was asking Dr. Lidner; there was a raw edge to his voice. Near watched him, saw how his hands seemed to tremble a little. _He _is_ upset...perhaps somehow he has just become better at staying composed? Perhaps he had already used up his tears. I wasn't here for the initial upset...when they discovered Matt._ He closed his eyes, shaking his head very slightly and willing the thought away. It wouldn't do to think of Matt and how he wasn't there when he should have been...

"His hip and side have some serious bruises on them," the doctor shot back, matching Mello's glare firmly with a glare of her own. "And he's just had more stitches put in—he can't walk anyway. You can push him in a wheelchair, though."

Near opened his eyes at the order—for it wasn't a suggestion, more of a command--observing that one of the nurses was, indeed, bringing a wheelchair into the room just then. Mello would have to push him in it to get to the car. He couldn't ride on Mello's motorcycle right now, so he assumed that they would be riding in the car, anyhow. Matt's car...logic dictated that the redhead wouldn't need it anymore, but it was somehow deeply depressing to have come to the hospital in Matt's car with him, and to be leaving in the same car without him. Going home without him.

Leaving him behind already.

_...Until L returns, I will be relying on Mello for everything, too,_ he reminded himself sadly, trying his hardest not to wonder whether he should remember Matt as a friend or not. He had turned down the redhead's friendship, but...he missed him as if they had been friends. Was there a requirement to admit to friendship before it was valid? True friendship couldn't have been decided so easily, he was sure...

He didn't like having to rely on Mello. He wasn't sure that the blonde boy could handle taking care of him at the moment—he seemed like he might explode from all of the emotions that he was holding in. But of course Mello would still try—he was in charge, that was what L expected him to do. _Matt was shot because of me—Mello can't have anything good to think about me right now, but he is looking after me anyway..._

Remembering how the blonde boy had held him while the tears overwhelmed him back at Mikami's home made Near feel small and insecure. He hadn't ever broken down that much before while alone, nevermind in front of someone who knew him and his usual nonchalant attitude, and definitely not in front of the person who seemed to hate him the most. It was one of the very few times he could remember crying, and the only one where there had been someone to console him.

_Poor Mello,_ he thought glumly. _I only just got to know Matt this week—he has been his friend for years. If anyone is really in need of consoling right now, it has to be Mello...and instead he has to be in charge. _The silence and solitude of only the two of them back at the house would surely just drive the point home that Matt really was gone for good. _He will be alone with the reason that Matt was killed...me._

"Here, Near, let me help you." Dr. Lidner was talking to him, but he wasn't listening nor paying close attention. He allowed the doctor and one of the nurses to help him move from the bed to the wheelchair's seat, ignoring the throb that the movement sent through the bruises on his left side. Mello scowled down at the floor nearby, making no move to help, himself.

Near didn't blame him; he was quickly realizing that, despite coming to save him, the blonde must hate him even more now that he had been the reason for Matt's death._ Without Matt, I will be forced to go back to how I was, but Mello can never be the same as he was. He isn't used to being lonely...so I'll let him hate me if it makes him feel any better. It makes no difference to me--he always did hate me, anyway._

The white-haired boy sighed faintly when one of the nurses spread a blanket on his lap, as if he wasn't able to do so himself just because he was in a wheelchair. The woman then turned and attached the IV rack onto a spot on the back of the wheelchair that was made for it to snap on. _I want to go home...I hope that they will let me. I won't have to stay in a __room at the hospital again, will I?_ His fingers immediately set about crumpling the edges of the blanket, as he had before when he had nothing to hold instead. He didn't think that the injuries were severe enough to warrant another hospital stay, but perhaps moving around so much after the surgery had caused complications in the healing process...

"Here." The white-haired boy blinked, realizing that Mello was holding the dinosaur out to him. The toy's toothy grin was right in front of his face, a sad reminder of when Matt had first given it to him. Mello's hands looked more delicate without the ever-present leather gloves, his wrists more slender...almost too slender. The black, glossy fingernails immediately caught Near's eye, too. _I didn't know that he painted them..._ It wasn't very important at the moment, though.

He took the plastic beast slowly with both hands, meeting Mello's blue eyes over the top of it. Myriad dark and painful emotions stared back at him.

"Thank you," he whispered, the first thing he'd said since Mikami's house. _You didn't have to do that. I would have forgotten it if you hadn't handed it to me..._ He hugged the dinosaur to his chest and bowed his head, feeling tired and confused. _He may be in charge, but that doesn't mean that he has to be kind to me at all...why isn't he blaming me like he usually does? _It would make things easier on Mello to blame him, wouldn't it? It usually seemed to make him feel better, having someone to blame.

Mello offered no reply, but a moment and several footsteps later the wheelchair was gliding silently forward toward the door. In a moment they were out in the chilly hallway, the distant sounds of voices and bustle drifting toward them from rooms far away in either direction.

"Mello," Near murmured, after a few minutes of silent walking. His voice echoed softly off of the walls; it seemed far too loud, even though he wasn't speaking loudly at all.

"What?" The blonde sounded strained; there was a tone in his voice not unlike he sounded when he was in physical pain. Near looked down at the dinosaur, the fingertips of one hand brushing idly over its pebbly plastic skin while he held it with the other. Its smile was an irony, when the whole world seemed so heavy with sadness right now.

"I...I am sorry about Matt." _I had to say something...what else could I say?_ Hearing the same words from somebody else certainly wouldn't have made _him_ feel any better about the redhead's death, but it felt wrong not to say anything. Mello seemed to be so troubled...and when Near had broken down, he had been there for him, so it was only decent to respond in kind, wasn't it?

"...Mello?"

"What do you want, Near?" The blonde asked sharply, the raw edge returning to his voice. He sounded like he was on the verge of exploding, but Near couldn't decide if the explosion would be fury or tears. He hoped for Mello's sake that it was tears. _He isn't used to holding anything in—he can't keep it up for long. _

The white-haired boy considered his words carefully, unsure quite how to convey that he didn't mean to be stand-offish right now. He wasn't very good at getting such things across with his tone of voice...

"You don't have to wear a brave face for my sake," he said finally, settling for bluntness as usual. "I...I know that you must be hurting even more than me right now. That's why...I'm very sorry..." His voice had become very quiet, the words hesitant and faltering. He was trying, for possibly the first time ever, to sincerely sympathetize with Mello. _We are the same right now—we both have lost a friend, haven't we?_

* * *

Mello a shudder go through him as the meaning of the words sank in. No...no, he didn't want Near to sympathetize with him. Near needed to be selfish and happy to be Matt's friend so that Mello could hate him and not have that bad feeling gnaw at him so. _Except, thanks to _me_ he doesn't know Matt's okay—he thinks Matt's dead and he's trying to be nice to me because he thinks I...miss Matt too._

His grip on the wheelchair's handles tightened until his knuckles turned white. He could have dealt with coldness or anger, but not sympathy. If Near had cursed Mikami, even, he would have had a reasonable excuse to be angry. Being angry was easier, less personal—screaming and cursing and hitting things made him feel better. Sympathy invited tears, though, and crying only ever made him feel worse.

_Dammit—why does he have to pick _now_ to not be a brat for once?! _He couldn't think about it too much or he would give in to all of the misery that was building inside of him and the tears would shortly follow. He couldn't speak; there was already that choked feeling in the back of his throat that warned him as much.

Gritting his teeth, he told himself firmly, _Go in there, leave Near for Matt and L to fuss over, and leave. Just leave. No more trying to solve this, don't even think about it anymore—just face the fact that everybody's going to hate you and _leave_._

* * *

Mello hadn't said anything.

It was Near's tendency to be silent, not Mello's. A silent Mello made the white-haired boy wonder if perhaps he was beyond mere grieving... _Perhaps...he has given up entirely. He and Matt were awfully close._ Even so, Mello wouldn't throw his life away to follow Matt...would he?

Thinking of how much he had grown to care about the redhead in the short time they had been friends, Near realized that it must be a hundred time worse for Mello than for him. _If he cared for Matt even a little more than I did, it's possible. If I cared for him any more, I would..._ He hugged the dinosaur closer, forbidding the end of that thought. No, he should focus on Mello—it was important._ He could be suicidal. That would explain being so quiet, and Mello always goes to the extremes over everything,_ he told himself.

_I'll have to watch him carefully._

Abruptly, the wheelchair stopped. Looking up, Near found himself staring at the numbers "290"--a plaque on the door. _Room 290...this isn't the room that I stayed in before. _He watched uneasily as Mello stepped in front of him and opened the door, a stiff frown fixed on his features. _Why...? I thought that we were going home._ Before he could ask the question aloud, Mello circled quickly around behind the wheelchair and started pushing it again.

He looked up again, trying to see what might await him inside—and instead, a very familiar pair of wide eyes were looking back.

"L," he whispered, staring up at the black-haired man as if he were a ghost. _He must have returned while Mikami had me!_ He felt relief welling inside of him. If L was here, everything would be okay. L always knew what to do. _Even he can't do anything for Matt, though. Matt...h-he must know about Matt by now._ He watched L carefully for any sign of upset, but his mentor was as unreadable as ever.

"It's good to see you again," the great detective murmured, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy jeans. He seemed almost self-conscious as he added worriedly, "Are you all right? I've heard some pretty worrisome details from the police about all of this..."

_Not you, too, L. I don't want anyone to pity me--don't worry about me._ Near didn't know what to do with sympathy, anyway—better to offer it to Mello, who seemed so silently upset that it was disturbing him...

"I am fine," the white-haired boy said quietly, wishing that his physical appearance didn't contradict the words so much. He was bandaged and bruised, in a wheelchair, with flecks of blood still dotting his pale hair, and after crying so much not even an hour ago he was sure that his eyes were still red. He didn't look "fine", and really he didn't feel that way either, but he didn't want any more fuss made over him. It was tiring enough dealing with the fact that Matt was gone without the exhaustion of the rest of the kidnapping heaped on top of it. _I just want to go home...why does L have a hospital room set aside to sit in, anyway? Is it just so that we can talk and not worry about others overhearing...?_

L smiled, a surprisingly cheerful expression for such serious times, and stepped to the side, waving him and Mello into the room with one hand.

"Then you'd better tell Matt that—he hasn't stopped worrying since Mello left to retrieve you."

_...Matt?_

Even as the meaning of the words began to sink in, the wheelchair was already rapidly gliding toward the other side of the room...where a certain redhead was sitting up in bed, vivid blue eyes full of concern.

_M...Matt?_ Near stared at him for a long moment; it wasn't real, was it? How could Matt possibly be there...? Mello parked the wheelchair beside the bed, leaving the redhead close enough to reach out and touch, and Near still couldn't believe what he was seeing. _I saw Mikami shoot him! And, Mello said...he told me that Matt was dead...! How can he be here...?_

--End Chapter 21

* * *

AN: x.x; Curse you, Mello—you angsted so long you took up the chapter time, and now Near and Matt get to reunite NEXT chapter! (I seriously doubt he cares if he's delaying that, of course... ^^; ) Sorry for the loooong wait for this chapter! Life and college homework have slowed down my writing process significantly. I also just got over a cold. (Sweatdrop) Anyway, I hope you're still enjoying the story—sorry this chapter was so angsty and heavy. x.x; Oya—it dragged my mood down writing it!

Poor Near; he's trying to be nice to Mello, but since Mello's not really grieving for Matt he's feeling guilty and brushing it off and Near doesn't understand why. Oya, what a tangled mess Mello's managed to make of his friendships. More on that in chapter 22. :)

Trivia: This chapter's title refers to Near trying to sympathize with Mello over Matt's "death". It also refers to Mello feeling bad for not telling Near Matt's okay; as a friend of Matt's, Mello can sympathize that it would be horrible to think Matt's dead (and yet he doesn't fix it—bad Mello!) Mello's one of those stubborn people who doesn't always react to difficult situations with what others might think of as logic...LOL.

Next chapter WILL be the "big reunion"--now that they're face-to-face, there's absolutely no way Mello can hog another whole chapter. (Sweatdrop) That's all for now, I hope you're still enjoying the story.

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 21**

Akugi #81

Mello: _What is this, Take Advantage of Mello Day?_

Near: "'Take Advantage of Mello Day'...I like the sound of that. That means you can't say 'no' to ANYTHING..." (Evil smirk)

Mello: (Gulp)

Near: (Hands toy catalog) "Please purchase everything on pages 18 through 47." (Heart)

Mello: (Sweatdrops, as he had been expecting some considerably more...high-rated...orders) _Phew!_

Akugi #82

Narrator: Mello's hands looked more delicate without the ever-present leather gloves, his wrists more slender...almost too slender.

Near: "...You are shrinking away to nothing—how long since you had a chocolate bar?"

Mello: (Twitch) "A few _chapters_, since I was too busy saving you to go get more—thanks for rubbing it in!"

Near: u.u "You do know this hospital has vending machines that sell chocolate in the hallways, right? And that all you do in this scene is stand around and sulk, and you could be doing that while walking to one of them and buying chocolate?"

Mello: "...." (Was too busy sulking to think that far)

Akugi #83

Narrator: Hurting Matt was as good as hurting Mello. He wasn't sure what to do, though, when the person hurting him _was_ Matt.

Matt: (Punches Mello in jaw) "Hah! If you hit me it'll just hurt you too!" (Evil "mwahahaha" laugh)

Mello: "ROWR!" (Punches Matt anyway) "...!" (Clutches his own jaw) "^#$#! Oww, da-YAM I punch hard!"

Matt: "Ouch!" _; (Clutches jaw, too) "I pulled MY punch!"

Akugi #85

Near: "You don't have to wear a brave face for my sake." (Completely deadpan and unemotional)

Mello: (sweatdrop) "Thanks, that, uh...sounds really sincere." (Cough)


	22. Fake Faces

**In Charge**

**Chapter 22 – Fake Faces**

By Threshie

AN: GAH, after working on this chapter FOREVER, here it is for you to read! x.x; I'm sorry this took so long—I'm a full-time college student, and was too buried in homework to even work on this fic for awhile, there.

I hope I did the concept I was going for justice and didn't make it too confusing with my typical head-hopping writing style...I've had what happens in this chapter planned for ages now, but actually writing it presented quite a challenge. Anyway, for better or for worse, here comes the "big reunion."

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

For a long moment, nobody said a word. Matt was simultaneously glad, worried and puzzled at the sight of Near. Glad to know that he was safe again, worried that he was in a wheelchair...and puzzled because for some reason the white-haired boy looked absolutely floored to be seeing _him_.

_Why...? He must've known I was here, too, not just L. We're in my hospital room, after all..._ It didn't make sense, but before he could wonder about it too much, his attention was drawn to something more alarming.

Near's eyes were red.

_H-has he been crying?! _The realization was unsettling; Matt didn't want to think about what Mikami must have done to push someone that stoic to tears. _They arrested him,_ he reminded himself, _Near's safe from him now._ Not that that helped whatever had already happened to him...and the cop who had called L had obviously been wrong about the injuries being "minor," because needing a wheelchair wasn't something to dismiss lightly!

Neither was the blood.

Near's hair was dotted with it. He was missing his pajama top, and his undershirt was bloodied, too. Against his pale skin and hair, the redness in his eyes and on his clothing stood out starkly. He obviously had been injured significantly, to bleed onto his clothes like that, but the only actual signs of a wound were the bandages on his right wrist and some raw-looking red marks on his left. He already had an IV needle in the unbandaged wrist again, even though he couldn't have been back in the hospital more than half an hour.

_How many IVs has he had in his arms in the past few days—3? 4? _A splash of bright green drew Matt's eyes and mind away from the IV. _Hey..._

The dinosaur.

It was the dinosaur that he had given to Near! Matt couldn't begin to guess how it had journeyed through the entire kidnapping with Near and back again, but there it was cradled in the white-haired boy's arms. The dinosaur concluded his impression of Near's condition—bloodied, bandaged, in a wheelchair, but still clinging to a toy as he always had and probably always would. Matt took all of this in in maybe thirty seconds, but time seemed to slow down; those seconds lasted a long time.

_What do I say now...? After all of this, it would be petty to even feel bad about what he told me before he got kidnapped._ He wasn't sure whether he should admit how worried he'd really been—he'd been far more concerned than an acquaintance would have been. Denying it to himself was pointless, but if it would irritate Near to try and be friends when he'd been turned down, he probably shouldn't mention it to _him_... _Or should I? I don't think he'd be mad that I was worried about him—I mean, I couldn't help it, really..._

The stare-down continued for a few minutes, Matt's mind racing nonstop between his options, before Near finally ended it.

Slowly, as if any sudden movements might somehow frighten the redhead away, he placed the dinosaur on the bed in front of him. Then, much to Matt's surprise, he stood and padded the few steps it took to stand beside the bed. _So he doesn't need the wheelchair,_ the redhead thought in relief, watching him sidelong. Even though he was sitting up in bed and Near was standing, the younger boy's small stature placed their eyes at the same level. Cornflower blue met again with deep black.

"Matt," the smaller boy breathed the name wistfully, breaking the expectant silence at last. He sounded almost as awed as he looked—almost. His eyes were wide and filled with surprise... Matt wasn't sure what to say, but was about to attempt an answer anyway, when quite abruptly there was a small hand resting on top of his head. It patted lightly, once, twice, then rested again.

"You are real," Near murmured. This time he _did_ sound as surprised as he looked; if possible, his eyes had gotten even wider than before. _He's...been through a lot. Maybe he's not quite right in the head? _Matt took a deep breath, at last finding his voice again.

"Yeah," he said worriedly, reaching up and pulling the hand off of his head. Near made no move to recover it from his grip, sighing instead. He looked very tired suddenly...it had become obvious as soon as the wide-eyed surprise wore off. "Uh...are you okay?" _Stupid question—of course he isn't! I mean, _look_ at him..._ Matt bit his lip, staring at the dinosaur just to avoid staring at Near. _He looks...hurt. It's almost as bad at when he was in the ICU—I don't even like to _see_ him this way...but at least he doesn't actually need the wheelchair._

Near tugged on the hand that the redhead still gripped in both of his, the action pulling Matt out of his thoughts as well. A bit awkwardly, he let go, not looking up. _He's okay, I guess. He's acting kind of odd...but hell, anybody would after something like this...right?_

"I-I was really worried about you," he admitted more quietly, chancing a glance up at Near's expression. _Not "was" exactly—I _am_ worried about you. I'm definitely _still_ worried about..._ He let the thought trail off, blinking. Near was looking down at the dinosaur, an absent little smile on his face. It was a far cry from the smirk Matt was used to—this was a sweet smile, the kind you couldn't help when you were happy. He probably didn't even know that he _was_ smiling.

_Telling him I was worried was the right thing to do, I guess, if he's smiling._

It was contagious...Matt found himself smiling, too. _I think he's gonna be okay. If you can still smile, you can get through anything, right?_ Mello told him that whenever he felt down. It had always been sound advice.

"...I will be fine," Near assured him, plucking the dinosaur up from the bed and examining it with sudden intensity. He seemed uncomfortable suddenly—as if he'd just realized he'd been smiling.

"Yeah," Matt glanced at the plastic beast, fidgeting a bit; Near's shyness seemed as contagious as his smile had been. _Gah, what's wrong with me...? Am I really this happy that he seems to be happy I was worried about him?_ It was really ironic that Near was smiling at all, after having such a horrible time the past few days. _I don't care why, though—I'm just glad he's okay._

"Here."

Matt looked up at the one-word sentence...and blinked, finding himself nose-to-nose with Near's toy dinosaur.

"Uh...for me?" He asked, taken aback. _Is he saying he doesn't want it after he's had it with him this whole time?_

"He will help you feel better," Near said, in such a serious and matter-of-fact tone that Matt couldn't really object. He took the offered dinosaur, placing it on the bedside table beside his Gameboy and goggles with a raised eyebrow. _I guess this must be his way of saying "get well soon" without actually saying it. _The gesture made him happy; it was proof that Near cared about him at least a little. _He still seems kind of surprised I'm even here...I'll bet he thought Mikami killed me for awhile there._

He had no idea...

Nodding to himself as if the acceptance of the dinosaur had set things in order and now he could move on, Near turned abruptly away from Matt...toward Mello. Recalling abruptly that L and the blonde were also in the room, Matt would have felt embarrassed to have his shy conversation with Near overheard, but he was caught off-guard by Mello's dark expression instead. _Whoa...why is he so freaked out? He saved the day—shouldn't he be _happy_?_

Near wasn't surprised at all.

In fact, he seemed to return the stormy attitude; his voice was much colder than it had been a moment before as he said flatly, "Why didn't you tell me Matt was all right?"

* * *

It had come. The moment he'd been bracing himself for.

_I don't care if you're mad at me,_ Mello told the white-haired boy silently, meeting his dark eyes. For all of his anxiety about this on the way here, now that the moment had come he felt strangely calm. Resigned, maybe. In any case, he stared evenly at Near and didn't look away. _Actually, I _want_ you to be mad at me. Go ahead, get mad! Lose it like you did at Mikami's—no more of this fake face of yours! _If he could just force Near to show that he actually cared about all of this—that he cared about Matt—then the white-haired boy couldn't turn around and lie that he still didn't want to be friends.

_Then at least somebody will get something good out of all of this..._

It hurt that Matt wanted Near to be his best friend more than Mello...but the blonde told himself that for once he would think of what Matt wanted instead of only what he wanted. If Matt wanted Near, now that Near had proven he had the compacity to care for Matt in return Mello had decided to let them be. And of course in the process he was going to leave, get out of the way so to speak.

Such thoughts made him laughed derisively on the inside, of course. _Don't make it sound so high and mighty, _he told himself, _You know the _real_ reason you're leaving is because you can't stand the sight of the two of them smiling together while you're left out across the room._

It had been futile to try to prevent it in the first place...as in any battle with Near, inevitably he had come in second again.

* * *

_I knew that something was bothering him, _L thought curiously, pressing a thumb to his bottom lip as he watched Mello from his chair. The blonde boy had been far too silent when he had first arrived with Near...and had looked like he was trying not to scream at somebody. It must have been anticipation for this confrontation with Near...what the great detective couldn't figure out was why Mello would care if Near was angry with him.

"Why, Mello?" The white-haired boy pressed; his voice was as soft as ever, but now there was a definite trace of anger there. "You must have known...and yet you intentionally allowed me to believe that Mr. Mikami killed him! Why?"

_Killed him? I suppose to Near it must have seemed that way. Mello thought that Matt was dead when he found him, so Mello must have known that Near would assume he was dead and kept the truth from him intentionally. For Mello to have been worried about Near's reaction when he found out that Matt was all right, then..._ L mulled this information over for about five seconds before concluding, _This isn't about Near at all._

He glanced sidelong at Matt, whose bed was mere feet away from the chair he was perched on right now. The redhead was staring at Mello in disbelief, evidently stunned into silence by what Near had just declared the blonde had done.

Indeed, that was it...L turned his wide-eyed stare back to Mello, thoughts already flying through every possible reason the blonde would have lied about such a thing. _Why, if it would place Mello into this position of possibly making Matt angry with him, would he choose to do something like this? It doesn't make sense...why lead Near to believe that Matt was dead until the two of them met again and it was obvious that Matt was all right? Hmm..._

Absently, he plucked one of the caramels from the tower he had been stacking on the bedside table since Near and Matt had started their conversation, peeled the wrapper off and stuck it in his mouth. _Even Mello wouldn't put Near through anything else just for spite, not after what has already happened to him recently...at least, I don't think he would...but that sure is what it looks like._

* * *

Mello could feel eyes on him—not just Near's, but L's and Matt's as well. Just as he'd expected, everybody was staring at him suddenly, and none too happily. _Ugh...let's speed things up a bit, I want to leave already!_

He didn't relish the reaction that he was going to get, but answered flippantly, "I was too busy being shocked." H crossed his arms, forcing a smirk onto his face despite his grim and impatient state of mind, and added pointedly, "I thought for sure somebody as cold as you just had some agenda in making Matt think you were his friend—I couldn't believe you actually _cared_ whether he was dead or not."

Explaining that he couldn't have heard what Near really thought of Matt unless he lied wouldn't help anything...he knew that Near's response would be the same regardless.

"I have told both of you this," Near answered flatly, rewarding him with an angry little frown, "Matt and I are not friends. I am not his friend."

Denial.

_Yes you are, dammit!_ Mello gritted his teeth; he saw the way that Matt hid the crestfallen look when Near wrote off their friendship so blatantly. He already knew Near's opinion on the subject, but to have it denied so flatly and promptly still must have hurt. _How dare you...you stubborn little brat, you and I both _know_ you care about him! Why are you hurting him? I'm not standing for this—I'm gonna make you admit it!_

"Don't give me that crap!" He snapped, "All you've talked about since I got you back from Mikami is 'Matt, Matt, Matt', and all Matt's been talking about since I came back from my trip with L is _you_!"

Near took a step toward him, but the movement tugged at his IV. Turning, he silently unclipped the rack. Mello stared at him, nonplussed. _Is he really going to carry that thing over here just to argue with me to my face?_

"Guys..." Matt ventured at last, sounding startled by this outburst. He looked pretty taken aback by this whole scene; Mello figured he probably felt like it was his fault they were fighting about him. _I'm not going to let him take any blame this time, though—this is for me and Near to work out, and that little twit's gonna win whether he likes it or not!_ What the hell was this, anyway? As soon as he decided to let Near have Matt's friendship, the white-haired boy refused to accept it! _Was he just born to disagree with me or something?_

At any rate, neither of them answered Matt, nor even seemed to hear him.

Near crossed the room, trailing the IV rack behind him by tugging it with one arm, and everyone was silent while this was going on. L, Mello noticed, seemed to have gotten bored with the proceedings...he was stacking some caramels on the bedside table, his back to them all. _I wonder if he thinks I'm an idiot to be doing something like this...as far as he can see, I'm being a big jerk for no apparent reason._ It was impossible to tell what L was thinking unless he said it, of course; the great detective had just as great a poker face. It didn't help that his face wasn't even in _sight_ at the moment...

Well, he'd done it. He'd admitted that he hadn't told Near Matt was alive, and the world hadn't ended up yet. _I'll give it a few minutes._

A familiar small white form stopped in front of him, and the blonde waited calmly for whatever he planned to do. Obviously Near wanted to do _something_, to drag himself all the way across the room like this. _Maybe he's finally mad enough to tell Matt the truth._

He doubted it, somehow—even tired and irritated as he was now, Near was still amazingly good at keeping his cool. Disturbingly so, sometimes. _Being mad at me for lying about Matt isn't enough--this is going to take a little more leverage..._

* * *

Near couldn't explain quite how he felt at that moment. He was angry at Mello...that much was certain. _Here I was attempting to sympathize with him...and he let me say everything, knowing full-well that Matt was here and all right. I wouldn't have done this to _him _if he thought that Matt was dead... _This explained why the blonde had been so quiet when he should have been more outwardly upset over Matt's "death," anyway. It didn't tell him why, though—why intentionally make him believe that the redhead had died?

He looked up at Mello evenly; he'd calmed himself a little during the walk across the room, and now regarded the blonde with the usual intense stare. Mello didn't look back; as with before in the hallway, he seemed upset about something, but subdued...silent.

Wait...

_If he wasn't upset about Matt back there...what was he upset about?_ He knew Mello too well to doubt the conviction he had had before—the emotions in his voice and on his face had been genuine.

"You should have told me the truth," he said simply, keeping that question in the back of his mind for now—he could address it after they cleared up this little misunderstanding that Mello seemed to have about telling Matt that they could be friends. _I told him at Mr. Mikami's place—I cannot accept. There are too many reasons why Matt and I can't be friends..._ "I was only so focused on Matt because I thought that I had seen him shot dead in front of me—it isn't because we are friends," he added flatly, knowing full-well that both he and Mello knew that it was a lie.

He'd already told Mello what he really thought, after all.

Thinking back to Mikami's place made him cringe; he must have really been upset, to let everything pour out for Mello to hear... _Well, it doesn't matter if he knows the truth—as long as I deny it, it is just his word against mine._ Near usually won that kind of confrontation...actually, he usually won most kinds of confrontations with Mello, come to think of it.

"You know what?" Mello's slanted eyes were snapping angrily with ice and blue sparks as he said sharply, "Shut up. Shut the hell up!" Near blinked, quite abruptly finding himself almost tugged off of his feet by the older boy's grip on the collar of his shirt. Mello leaned down until they were nose-to-nose, hissing out, "I don't what you think you're playing at, making him care about you more than me and then writing him off like so much _garbage_, but I'm not gonna let you do this!" His voice rose with each word; most of it was loud enough that Matt couldn't have possibly missed it.

Near's glare didn't falter; being shaken around by Mello hadn't exactly been the plan in coming over here, but he didn't care at this point. He was too angry to care. _If you really cared about Matt's feelings, you wouldn't start this kind of argument in front of him. You should have told me all of this while we were in the hallway._ Except, of course, he hadn't known that Matt was alive then...therefore he wouldn't have started the confrontation in the first place. Still, he was sure that Matt would feel like the problem now that he'd heard all of this nonsense.

_I didn't _make_ him care about me..._

As always, Near's silent stare in response to his screaming only served to make Mello angrier.

"Matt's been my friend since we were little kids and suddenly now he cares about you _more_ than me—you don't appreciate it, though, do you?!" The blonde shook him a little, but not hard—it was almost like the motion was just for show. The smaller boy blinked again, curious now. _If he was really angry he wouldn't care if this hurt me..._

"It's just another _game_ to you, isn't it?!" Mello's voice was a sharp contrast to his actions; his tone was so convincing that he sounded an inch away from punching somebody in the face. "As soon as you beat me at something, you don't care about it anymore—all you cared about it for in the first place was to make sure I didn't come out on top! I know you and Matt cared about each other a few hours ago—what happened, huh? Are you saying that all you ever cared about _Matt_ for was so that you could steal him from me?!"

Glad that he had to pause to take a breath, Near sighed and shot a dubious look up at the older boy. _Why are you doing this, Mello? It isn't like you...if you were really angry, you wouldn't be holding back like this, so why are you bothering to sound like it? _In a fitting irony to the blonde faking being rough with him, despite looking like he was being bullied Near was rather glad Mello had latched onto his shirt--crossing the room had tired out his legs, and he probably would've sat on the floor right there if he wasn't hanging from his collar.

_So he is faking us all out...why?_ _From what he just said, it sounds like he _wants_ Matt and I to be friends._

The tirade could have been invented on the spot, just to have something to yell, but Mello really did _sound_ sincere...even though what he was saying didn't make much sense, Near for some reason wanted to believe it. Assumption was the basis for all investigations...deciding to assume that Mello's words were true, he started thinking about what exactly the blonde was trying to say, instead.

From what he could interpret of the nonstop barrage, Mello seemed to think that Matt had decided Near was his best friend, ditching Mello—and that now that Near was denying being Matt's friend, that left all three of them friendless. So he was trying to push Near into admitting that he did want to be Matt's friend, in Matt's best interest...at least, that was the only reason to cast himself as the "bad guy" that Near could come up with. _How stupid...as if Matt could care about me more than you, Mello—he has only really known me for a week, while he has been your friend for _years_._

* * *

From across the room, grabbing and shaking Near looked pretty convincing.

"Mello, stop it! You're gonna hurt him!" Matt called incredulously, staring at the two. He wished he could get out of bed and go separate the two of them physically, but L had already cautioned him against even sitting up too fast; he'd lost a lot of blood, and it left him weak and shaky. Just another problem this weekend to thank _dear_ Mikami for...

Still, he was sorely tempted.

Ruling out that option, he turned to L, who was perched on the chair beside his bed, and asked, "A-aren't you gonna stop Mello? Near's already injured!"

"I know that it's difficult to believe," L murmured around the thumb that was pressed to his lips, staring intently at the confrontation across the room, "But I'm about 90 percent sure that this isn't as bad as it looks."

_What? How does he know that?_ This _was_ L, though...if anybody could tell what was going on, it was probably him...

Matt bit his lip, turning back to Mello and Near.

The blonde still had a firm grip on the collar of Near's shirt and was shouting at him, occasionally punctuating his words with a rough shake or two. The white-haired boy didn't reply; he didn't even move his hands to try and pry Mello's hands away. His back was to Matt, so the redhead couldn't really tell whether Mello's treatment was affecting him, but... _Whether it shows on his face or not, he's been through enough! Mello, what are you thinking? What the hell is all of this _about_...?_

They were arguing about him--of all the stupid things to be arguing about, of all the much more important things they could have been worrying about, they were arguing about _him._

Near was possibly being hurt because of him.

"Mell!" He shouted again, sitting up impulsively and setting his chest to throbbing. Even with the pain medication in the IV it was enough to take his breath away, but he persisted in yelling anyway. "St-stop it...!" L glanced at him quickly when he heard the wincing, concern in his eyes.

"Matt, Mello isn't going to hurt him. Please trust me and don't hurt yourself," he admonished gently. "Trust me"...sighing, Matt sank back into his pillow. He did trust L...but... _How can he know what Mello's going to do or not? It's not like Mell told anybody he was gonna lose his temper!_

"If I'm right, this will be over pretty quickly," L mused, turning his wide-eyed gaze back to Mello and Near. Matt didn't see how...or even why they'd started arguing in the first place.

Oh, right. They were arguing about him.

* * *

L felt sorry for Matt, but he didn't really have time to explain why he'd come to the conclusion that Mello was putting on a show. If he was right—and he was confident that he was—the "fight" between the two across the room would be over before he could have gotten through an explanation, anyway.

_Mello came up with an interesting problem-solving technique this time around—perhaps I'm too straightforward, but I wouldn't even have thought of this possibility._ The black-haired man observed as Near said something too quiet for anyone but Mello to hear, an angry furrow to his brows. Mello's plan seemed to be working...

L hadn't been able to figure Mello's reasoning out until the blonde had grabbed Near by the shirt. It wasn't an unusual move for Mello to do when he was angry, but it _had_ been unexpected—because Mello had made it quite obvious before he left for Mikami's place that he wouldn't let anyone hurt the white-haired boy. He wouldn't go and rescue him only to turn around and hurt him himself...

When L thought about that, it had been obviously very quickly that Mello wasn't treating Near very roughly at all, but rather making it look like he was. Near wouldn't have offered much response in any case, but if he was actually in pain L highly doubted he wouldn't even lift a hand to try and stop Mello. He hadn't even _said_ anything at that point—and words were Near's best weapons in a fight.

What Mello had been yelling had explained the situation for L quite clearly—it was a friendship triangle, and Mello had decided that he would be the one to be ousted. Maybe he didn't believe he was capable of doing anything else...

_Matt won't let that happen. I should stay out of this, though...they need to work it out for themselves. _He glanced at the redhead sidelong, noting the helpless look on his face, and smiled behind the hand he was leaning his face on. _I just need to wait a little while—he'll realize sooner or later that he's the only one who can solve this._

* * *

_This is stupid_, Matt thought, frustrated._ L won't even try to stop them--isn't anybody else worried about _Near,_ here? I mean, what a dumb thing to argue about at a time like this! Why is who gets to be my friend even up for debate? Near doesn't want to be my friend, and I'm sure that's the last thing on his mind right now!_ It still hurt a little to be rejected so flatly, but unlike Mello the redhead had decided to respect Near's decision and not push him about it.

The real question was, why in the world did Mello _want_ Near to be his friend—and what was all of this about Near "making Matt care about him and then casting him aside"? _He didn't do that! He _had_ to spend time with me because I was in charge—I'm sure if he had the choice not to..._

He sighed, ignoring the resulting twinge in his chest; he already knew the end to that thought. What really happened wasn't the point—even if it wasn't true, Mello obviously believed that Near had slighted him somehow. The blonde usually came across as pretty self-centered, but Matt knew from experience that it was just like him to leap to furious defense if anybody tried to hurt his friends. _Near didn't do anything wrong, though...if anything, _I'm_ the dummy who started caring about him when I knew he likes to be alone._

Near had seemed glad to see him when he'd first arrived, glad enough to even count as concern, but now Matt knew that it had been more shock to see him alive than anything. _He was just surprised to see I was alive and okay...he might not be my friend, but he obviously doesn't _hate_ me or anything, so he was happy I was okay. That's all--i-it's not friendship..._

He frowned at Mello again; he had gone silent, but hadn't let go of Near yet. _This has to stop—Mell, you're wrong about Near. You're wrong about me, too--you said I care about Near more than you, but I never said anything like that! I care about you _both!

As in in response to his thoughts, Mello abruptly relinquished his grip on Near's shirt, turning to glare at the redhead instead. As angry as he'd sounded a moment ago, his eyes told a different story. Hurt and desperation, that's what that look said. _Huh...? He sounds mad, but he doesn't look it at all..._

"Matt, Near's a damned liar," the blonde said darkly, "He cares about you whether he says it or not!" Matt only frowned back at him. _No, he doesn't. Mell, I don't understand this—why are you so determined to make Near be friends with me? Do you think it would make me happy to have a friend who doesn't really want to spend time with me?_

"I do," Near sighed, smoothing down his shirt; he seemed pretty unaffected by Mello's outburst, despite his fragile appearance. The blood and bandages didn't do much to inspire confidence in his condition.

"Ignore him—he _does--_" Mello started, then blinked and turned to stare wide-eyed at the white-haired boy. "What?! You do?"

_...He does?_ Matt echoed silently; he hadn't expected that reply at all. Of course, Mello obviously hadn't either—he'd been so sure Near was going to deny caring about him that he hadn't even acknowledged what the smaller boy was saying for a moment. Matt had been listening the first time, though, and was a bit hopeful at the short answer. _Wait...but...he said he _didn't _case about me. What the hell is going on, here? Why is everybody lying suddenly?_

"Yes," Near raised a hand, started to twist a lock of his hair around one finger, as he frowned up at Mello sidelong, "I said that I do care about him. I do not, however, consider him a friend, and I don't know why you of all people want me to do so."

"Oh, yeah?" Mello smiled bitterly down at him, "Like _hell_. Listen to me, Matt—Near wants to be your friend _more than anything._" He didn't look away from Near, whose eyes had widened. The smaller boy looked...strange, suddenly. Uneasy. _Intimidated?_ Matt thought, startled. Mello glared at the white-haired boy, adding bitterly, "He was _crying_ over your supposed 'death', for god's sake—if he says he's not your friend one more damned time, injuries or not I'm gonna kick him!"

Matt looked quickly to Near, expecting him to make some blunt reply and dismiss the whole story in one fell swoop...

But he didn't.

Instead, the white-haired boy quietly averted his eyes to the floor, becoming if possible even paler than he'd been before, and wrapped his arms around himself. Matt stared._ He's telling the truth...isn't he? Near wasn't crying about Mikami, then? But...I thought he didn't care...why would he tell me he doesn't want to be friends if he does?_

* * *

_Finally!_

Such a victory over Near felt pretty hollow, since he was essentially fighting for the right to lose to the white-haired boy, but Mello savored it in a strange way nonetheless. He'd never managed to strike Near speechless before...it was kind of funny to watch, really. _Don't worry, you little twit—you're the loser right now, but in a minute you'll be number one again...as usual._

"Near..." Matt began, concern in his voice. Mello turned in his heel and started for the door, figuring he could have the last word in the argument for once. It was a fitting goodbye, right? _Bye, guys, I'm sure now that Near's lying is out of the way you'll be happy and best buddies and all of that damned stuff I used to have._ _I hope you're happy, Matt...that's what's important, after all..._

"Mello—w-wait, where are you going?" Matt sounded anything but happy at the moment.

Mello could have kept walking...he probably should have. Turning his back on Matt wasn't something that he was proud of doing, though, even if he had done it a time or two in the past. Since Matt couldn't follow him right now, though, it would be pretty unfair to run for it...even if that's all he wanted to do right now. _Talking sure as hell isn't what I want to do!_ He gritted his teeth; Matt probably just wanted to tell him they could all be friends—that he didn't care about Near more, even though it was so damned obvious... _It's okay. Let him say whatever he wants—this way it'll be over with._

Taking a deep breath, Mello stopped in his tracks only a few feet from the door. _Here it comes,_ he thought, closing his eyes. _"Let's all be friends", or "Let's talk about this some more"...hell, maybe it's gonna be "thanks for nothing", after I "picked on" Near in front of him!_

What Matt said next wasn't at all what he'd expected, though.

"A...are you _kidding_ me?" Mello opened his eyes again at this, blinking at the door he'd almost escaped out of. "You're gonna walk out on everybody over _me_?" Matt sounded like he wasn't sure whether to laugh or panic. _Bet he didn't think he was important enough for somebody to do that over,_ the blonde thought a bit bitterly.

He decided not to answer either question. "No" and "yes" ought to be pretty evident when he was just about to leave.

"That's it, right?" The redhead asked, "Seriously, you guys are fighting because you both want to be my friend...right?"

Crossing his arms, Mello wondered why he was bothering to answer, but said darkly, "You've always been my best friend—why the hell would I change my mind now?"

* * *

Matt shook his head in disbelief—he was right, they _were_ fighting over him! Or rather, over which of them should be his friend—Mello obviously wouldn't mind being his friend, but for some reason thought he wanted Near to fill the position more than him. _And here I thought people as smart as them would get _bored_ with somebody like me. Sheesh._

He glanced at Near, who was still examining the toes of his socks uncomfortably. What Mello had said about him crying must be true, to warrant such a reaction... _I'm guessing you actually _do_ want to be friends, like Mello was yelling about before...?_

"A-and, Near..."

"I lied," the white-haired boy confirmed glumly, not looking at him. He sighed, "I am sorry....I do want to be your friend. However, there are reasons why I..."

_Mello's trying to make Near be friends with me...Near's trying to hide wanting to be friends with me so that Mello can stay my friend...hold on, I think I get it...!_

"You two both think I can only have one best friend." Matt said it as he realized it, thought it aloud. _Suddenly this all makes sense...they've been arguing about me since Mello got back from his trip with L, haven't they? Over _me..._because they think so some reason that I can't be friends with two people at once! _He shook his head in disbelief. _Gah—_I'm_ supposed to be the dumb one, here, guys! How can the two smartest people after L believe something this..._stupid_?_

"Mello has always been your best friend," Near spoke up, smiling wearily. "Don't ruin that to be friends with me—I am used to being alone."

"Don't listen to him!" Mello shot back immediately, whirling around to glare at the white-haired boy, "He cares about you, and I know you care about him, Matt! If you care about him more than me...i-if you'll be happier this way..." The last few words had a tremble to them; abruptly, he turned back toward the door, clenching both hands into fists. "L-look, why don't we ask L? He's a genius, he'll get what I'm talking about here!"

Matt glanced at their mentor, who was stacking his caramels as calmly as ever and seemed to be carefully ignoring the other occupants of the room. Which really meant that he was eavesdropping intently, the redhead knew. L glanced back at him promptly, nodded oh-so-slightly, and turned back to his caramels without a word.

The message had come across loud and clear, though. _You don't need my help on this one,_ he was saying. _You already know the answer. Take charge._

Matt looked back to the two across the room and frowned. _He's right—this _is_ pretty easy to solve._

"We shouldn't even bother L with this," Near was telling Mello from the floor; he had sat down at some point, and was now hugging one knee to his chest tiredly. "The answer is painfully obvious: you and Matt remain friends. It has always worked before, why change things now?"

"Because now he cares about _you_," Mello grumbled, "I don't see _why_, but he does, so...l-look, just shut up and let me win an argument for once, dammit!"

"Hey guys," Matt interrupted the two of them, sighing. "C'mere a sec...I don't wanna yell at you from across the room." _I've got something to tell you to your faces..._

Mello and Near exchanged one last scowl before, ironically, the blonde stooped down and scooped the smaller boy up into his arms. Near seemed a bit surprised, but wasn't complaining; he was very quiet as Mello carried him across the room, snagging the IV rack with one small hand and pulling it along beside them.

"Thank you," Near murmured tiredly as the blonde placed him back onto the floor beside Matt's bed a moment later.

Mello crossed his arms, answering pointedly, "It was quicker getting back this way." He turned to Matt, glaring. "So? What's the verdict—me or Near?" His rushed tone made it pretty obvious that he wanted Near to be declared the "winner" already so that he could escape this tense atmosphere he'd mostly created singlehandedly. _I'll put an end to that, too,_ Matt thought grimly.

He hadn't planned on putting it this shortly, but since Mello had asked so abruptly, the redhead answered in kind.

"Neither," he said.

--End Chapter 22

* * *

AN: Brain...turning...to...mush... x.x This chapter was finished while I was really exhausted from nonstop homework for hours beforehand, so...if it's a bit hard to understand, I'm really sorry. I hope it didn't disappoint—all of the switching points of view confused me while writing, so I'm afraid they'll probably confuse people while reading, but what can I say, there are four different people in this scene... (Sigh)

Trivia: This chapter's title refers to the fact that Near and Mello are lying to try and make Matt be friends with the other—Near in denying he wants to be friends, Mello in pretending to be more of a jerk than he actually is to try and make Matt get mad at him. XD; (Which backfired brilliantly...LOL, everybody knows him too well to believe he's really mad if he didn't actually hurt Near at all in such a situation.) It also has a tie-in with next chapter...as you will see just as soon as I get the darned thing written! (The hard part was this one, though, so it should be out MUCH sooner...thank goodness. Taking this long to update irritates me, too, you know. (Sweatdrop) )

To whoever keeps leaving anonymous reviews asking if I've died when I take too long to update, know that it's kind of irksome to get such a review right after I've just spent every hour of what time I had left after doing my college homework working on the latest chapter. It'd be nice if you would review with an account, at least, so that I could reply and let you know that I am, I fact, very much alive. ^^; I'm not mad or anything, it's just kind of frustrating that the only response I can give you is a new chapter and when I receive such reviews I generally don't have the newest one DONE yet. Rest assured, the moment they're finished I post them up for you to read, LOL.

Anyway! Thanks to all of my readers who have stuck with this story through its super-fast AND super-slow updating phases (yes, even you, Anonymous :) Again, I'm sorry updates are taking so long, but I DID say they would slow when my college quarter started up. We won't have to worry about that much longer, though--the ending is fast approaching! 'Til then, I hope that you enjoyed this super-long chapter! :)

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 22**

Akugi #86

Narrator: Near's shyness seemed as contagious as his smile.

Matt: (Smiles) _Gah, what's wrong with me...? I feel all warm and fuzzy suddenly..._ //

Near: ^^ "I win, Mello—he's in love!"

Mello: (Shakes fist) "He hasn't SAID it yet, dammit!"

Matt: _; _Ouch, guys--am I just part of your competition?_

Akugi #87

L: _I knew that something was bothering him._ C_C (Watches Mello curiously) _So it's a love triangle, then..._

Mello, Matt and Near: (See his expression and wonder uneasily just what he's thinking about them...decide to cut argument short to distract him with cupcakes)

Threshie: ^^; "It's way too easy to interpret this fic as shounen-ai, seriously..."

Akugi #88

L: "If I'm right, this will be over pretty quickly."

Near: (Has had enough of being yelled at; punches Mello's lights out)

Matt: o_o; "H-how...but...isn't he supposed to be HURT?"

L: (Matter-of-factly) "Mello messed up his hair. You don't mess up Near's hair."

Matt: (Recalls how many times he's ruffled Near's hair or patted his head in this fic; gulp)

Akugi #89

Mello: "Matt, Near's a damned liar! He cares about you whether he says it or not!"

Matt: (Frowns) _No, he doesn't..._

Near: (Sighs and smooths down shirt) "I do."

Mello: "Ignore him—he _does--_" (Turns to stare at Near) "What?! You do?"

Near: (Smirks) "Made you look."

Mello: "...."


	23. Give and Take

**In Charge**

**Chapter 23 – Give and Take**

By Threshie

AN: Matt's got something to say...if he can get Mello and Near to stop bickering long enough to say it. ^^; The majority of this chapter was written when I was running on about four hours of sleep...

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"What?!" The chorus between Mello and Near was almost comical. Both were staring at him incredulously; obviously what Matt had said was the last thing they had expected.

_That got their attention._

"Neither," the redhead repeated pointedly, crossing his arms carefully over the bandages on his chest. "Don't get me wrong, I don't exactly hate you guys. You're just..." He sighed, "What gave either of you the idea I could only have one friend, anyway? I can care about both of you at once—I know 'cause I _do._ Did it ever occur to you that I could want _both_ of you to be my friends, or do you guys just hate each other too much to even accept the possibility?"

"...I don't hate Mello," Near spoke up glumly after a moment. Glancing up at the blonde with a little frown, he added, "I am not _happy_ with him at the moment—he lied to me about you being dead. However—"

"Near and I don't work well together," Mello interrupted, glaring at the white-haired boy. "I'm sure you're capable of having two friends, Matt—that's not the problem. You know what would happen if we were both friends with you? _Near_ would take over, like he always does!"

"I would not," Near replied immediately, staring back darkly. "_You_, however, would attempt to turn every little thing that we did into a competition."

"It's not a 'competition' if Matt already likes you more in the first place!"

"He doesn't!" Near sounded frustrated rather than angry; his hands were clenched into fists again, and he seemed to have forgotten that his legs were about ready to give way, because he persisted in standing with the wheelchair right there to sit in. _Knowing him, he knows being shorter makes it look like he's losing ground in the argument,_ Matt thought, sighing. _They're both so stubborn they're blinding themselves to the whole point of the conversation!_

He held up both hands abruptly, causing the two other boys to glance quickly in his direction.

"Hold it! Guys, listen...bickering about this isn't gonna help anything." Near quieted immediately, bowing his head. He still looked irritated. Mello crossed his arms, refusing to even look in the white-haired boy's direction. He _definitely_ looked irritated.

"Sure," he muttered, looking like he'd lost his steam. He sounded depressed again, like he had been when he'd almost left before. "He'll take over—he already took over while L and I were on that trip!"

_He did?_ Matt sweatdropped, glancing at Near. It was true that he had only started talking to and regarding Near as a friend after he had been hospitalized...it didn't mean that he'd forgotten about Mello, though. _I wouldn't just dump him if he left for a week. He's my best friend—doesn't he think I value him a _little_ more than that?_ It was kind of worrisome that Mello seemed to believe his friendship could transfer so easily. Then again, Mello's personality worked in extremes—win or lose, dark or light, friends or not friends.

Looking at it from that perspective...

_I guess since he's been my only close friend for years...any other friend must seem like a threat, huh?_ So it wasn't Near, particularly—any new friend would've elicited a similar reaction. The fact that it _was_ Near whom Matt had befriended probably just made Mello jump to conclusions more quickly. _He's always trying not to lose to Near—he probably assumed since Near was my friend, he'd 'lost' in that too. _

He wanted to shake his head in disbelief, but there wasn't time. Right now he had to take charge of the situation...and now that he had Near's and Mello's attention, he found that he wasn't so afraid to do so. _I know what to say—there's only one way to fix this so that everybody's happy._

"Mell," he spoke up. The blonde met his eyes, his own slanted ones darkened to match his mood. Matt smiled, hoping to coax his friend into responding in kind. "You can't 'take over' friendship," he said gently, "It's give and take. Near couldn't 'steal' my friendship from you even if he wanted to—only you can do that, and it's by doing this. I-if you walk out today, nobody stole my friendship from you but _you_." _Do you get it yet? You only have my friendship if you give me friendship back—it's give and take. If you stop giving, you're taking it away from me, too...and I don't want you to go. Don't go._

Friendship was give and take.

Mello frowned, glancing down at Near, who was hugging himself and looking very tired again. _He's right, isn't he? If I stay, I'll have to share him with Near, but...if I leave, I _know_ I'm gonna lose him. And if Near can't take over, there's no reason to even consider him a threat!_

"If you still don't understand, then perhaps you weren't ever Matt's friend," Near whispered, eyes still downcast, "Perhaps he only thought that he was yours." _You brat,_ Mello thought heavily, unable to will himself to get angry nonetheless. It wasn't something that he relished hearing, but in this case Near was right.

_They're both right. Everybody else is right. I'm wrong...they win, I lose. Loser. I'm a loser...again._ He brought a hand to his head, ran black-polished fingertips through his hair shakily, and bit his lip. _So I'm the jerk...everybody else's being nice, it has to be me, right? Again._

Near's head felt heavy...the exhaustion was taking its toll. He refused to sit down, though. _Not until this is finished. Not until he understands._ He saw Mello's uncomfortable fidgeting out of the corner of his eye and was assured that it wouldn't be long now. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the blonde; as frustrating as he could be, he obviously cared about Matt a great deal, and Near could relate to him there.

_And, after years of having Matt to himself, suddenly he has to share him with me. I am the impostor...if I had remained distant, they would still happily be friends and this discussion wouldn't even be necessary._ Thoughts like that were self-defeating, though, and "if only"s never helped anything either. The white-haired boy hugged himself a bit more tightly, looking up at Mello.

"Please stay Matt's friend," he sighed. _If you would do that already, then I could sit down. Besides, he would only be sad if you left...don't you see that? _

Mello looked back at him sadly. _You are realizing it, aren't you, Mello? That you've created most of this trouble for yourself. Poor Mello..._ Near directed his eyes back to the floor, lest the pity show on his face. Now that they had a fondness for Matt in common, he was placing himself in the same situation when he thought about it too much.

"Look, Mell, pretend for a minute that Near doesn't exist." Near glanced at Matt skeptically as the meaning of the words sank in. _Do I have to cease to exist to solve the problem? That isn't very reassuring..._ Shooting him an apologetic little smile, the redhead added, "And Near, pretend Mello doesn't exist. It's just you and me. Now tell me one thing: do you still want to be my friend?"

Matt watched Mello's and Near's expressions carefully, and waited. He hoped that the question would drive the point home. He didn't care about who was "better"; to him they were both interesting and fun people in their own rights. _You guys are so used to being compared to each other that you do it automatically, yourselves—and you assume that I do, too, but I really don't._

Despite being told that the other didn't exist for this question, Near and Mello exchanged a look again as they had done a moment before. This one was less turbulent, though—it was almost as if they were asking each other, "How about it? What are _you_ going to tell him?"

A long moment of silence passed.

"Yes," Near answered simply, looking back to the floor at last. He didn't glance at Matt, didn't even check what his reaction was. _Either he's embarrassed or he's just too tired to,_ Matt decided, turning his blue eyes to Mello next. The blonde boy, unlike Near, was staring right at him.

"...How can you even ask me that question?" He asked, sounding hurt.

"You were gonna leave a few minutes ago," Matt pointed out a bit glumly in return. "The only reason I can think of is that you don't wanna be my friend anymore."

"I thought _you_ didn't want me to be your friend anymore!" The blonde retorted sharply, pointing an accusing finger at him, "I'll bet when I was off fighting Mikami you didn't even worry about me—you were probably too busy worrying about Near to even _mention_ me!"

"Incorrect!"

Mello and Matt both jumped slightly, recalling that L was in the room only when they heard his voice. Near didn't seem to even hear him.

"Matt and I had a discussion about you while you were gone, as a matter of fact," the great detective said calmly, peering at them over his shoulder. On the bedside table in front of him, three tall stacks of caramels stood perfectly balanced. He had somehow managed to stack the tops together until only one candy stood tallest in the center.

"What?!" Mello looked completely shocked to be hearing this. _He must've been really sure I hadn't even thought about him, much less worried about or talked about him,_ Matt thought, sweatdropping. _I guess seeing that I cared about Near made him assume I didn't care about him at _all_ anymore. Poor Mell..._

Mello sighed; that was it, if L verified it then it must be the truth. _I guess we'll give this a try...the worst that could happen is that I'd say "I told you so" and leave anyway later, right?_ Saying "no" at this point really would make him nothing more than a sore loser. He nodded at L, who smiled and tucked one of the caramels into his mouth, and turned back to Matt.

"Alright, fine," he said evenly, "So you do care about me." _I'm really kind of surprised you still do...I thought you wouldn't after all of this. I guess we must be closer than I __thought..._ He tried not to let the relief show on his face.

Somebody still wanted him in their life after all.

"Yeah," Matt smiled that easy smile of his that Mello had seen so many times, replying to Mello's admission and his thoughts all in a single word. He seemed so much more relaxed than he'd been when Mello and Near had first arrived. _We really did make a lot of progress here, I guess...it's good to see him smile for real again._

He smiled back, a bit uncomfortably.

"Look...I-I'm sorry about making a scene," he mumbled, glancing at the dinosaur on the bed stand. The sight of it wasn't such an irritation anymore. It represented Matt's friendship with Near...but as Matt had said, his friendship with Near wasn't a threat to his friendship with Mello. Beside it lay Matt's goggles and the Gameboy that Mello had brought him from the house. It was in the exact same spot as it had been when last the blonde had seen it. _I guess he was too worried to play anything on it?_

Something warm pressed against his side.

Stiffening, the blonde looked down and saw that Near was leaning against his side, head propped up against his shoulder. His eyes were fixed dully on the toes of his socks.

"Sit down if you're tired, Near," he said, scowling at the white-haired boy. _Don't get all clingy again...it was bad enough in the car!_ Dark eyes fixed their gaze on him and refused to look away.

"Say yes."

Mello blinked.

"What?"

"T...tell Matt 'yes'," the smaller boy said tiredly, but firmly. "Stop hesitating—say it. I will sit down...if you say it..." _Is that supposed to be some kind of threat to lean on me forever if I _don't_ say it?_

Rolling his eyes, the blonde turned to Matt and declared sarcastically, "_Yes_, Matt."

"Thank you," Near mumbled, sinking into the wheelchair seat again immediately. He closed his eyes, rubbing one with the back of his hand, and then started crinkling the hem of the blanket since he didn't have a toy to hold instead.

"I'm glad you finally said it, too, actually," Matt smiled sheepishly. "I-I almost thought you were gonna say no at the last second...anyway, Near's got the right idea. You must be tired too, Mell—I heard you and Mikami got in a gunfight or something."

"Eh," Mello waved a hand dismissively, "He didn't manage to hit me."

"He almost shot you point-blank," Near corrected flatly, raising his head again with a little frown on his face. "He shot out the window behind you. If you hadn't punched his glasses off, he would have killed you." Mello automatically started to bristle at such a statement, but the next part made him pause. More quietly, Near murmured, "You could have died trying to rescue me. Don't say that it was nothing..."

_You don't have to say it like _that_!_ The blonde thought awkwardly, crossing his arms; any movement to help mask his embarrassment. _You make it sound like I was brave and risked my life or some stupid heroic crap like that!_ Well, technically he _had_ risked his life, but it had been more like recklessness brought on by anger than bravery... _Maybe being so reckless you don't think about your own safety at all _is_ bravery? ...Nevermind, doesn't matter anyway._

"He didn't hit me—it only would've mattered if he did," the blonde pointed out. "As it was, he couldn't have hit the broad side of a barn." He smirked a little at the memory of finally getting his hands around the tall man's neck, adding, "And he sure wasn't so tough without the gun."

"Are you nuts?!" Matt sat up in his bed, the resulting wince somehow only adding to his alarmed tone. "Y-you took on a guy with a gun _bare-handed_? You could've taken a gun from the police department, you know!"

"Look, there wasn't time for that," Mello replied sharply, "If I was even a few minutes later, that bastard would've done even more to Near!" He was fuming just thinking about the state he'd found Near in when he'd first arrived. _He was really helpless, wasn't he? I hope what happened doesn't stay with him for long, but I have a bad feeling that it will..._ He glanced at Near uneasily, seeing that the white-haired boy had averted his eyes to the floor again.

Matt was looking at him in concern now, too, questions in his eyes. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he could probably guess...

_Shit—of course talking about what happened makes Near think about it! Mello, you're an idiot—he's gonna cry again and freak Matt out, too, and it's going to be _your_ damned fault--again!_ He gritted his teeth, trying to play it cool and not show how mad he was at himself right now. If _he_ had just come back from the ordeal that Near had, any mention of it would probably summon all kinds of horrible memories of pain and helplessness...

"S-so..." Near's voice trembled slightly, breaking the short silence that had fallen. He sounded a bit faint, but as he raised his head, his mouth curved into a very familiar little smirk. "...you actually cared what happened to me, Mello."

A statement.

No room for argument.

For once, Mello didn't care to argue, anyway.

"Wha...h-how the hell _couldn't_ I care?!" He sputtered, practically speechless. Near's frankness had that kind of disarming effect sometimes. _Talking about Mikami doesn't even seem to phase him!_ "What the hell do you take me for, a complete self-centered jerk?! I'd have to be heartless to see _anybody_ I know in that kind of situation and not care!" He'd balled his hands into fists again, and was shouting without really meaning to.

The question irked him, though—after all of the trouble he'd gone through to rescue Near, the white-haired boy had some nerve to practically accuse him of being heartless to his face. _I went and got shot at for you, you brat! I saved your _ass_! I even took care of you when you couldn't do anything but cry..._

That thought stopped his tirade dead in its tracks. Abruptly, he remembered the fragile Near that he had rescued just a few hours back. The silent, hopeless person that he had sat beside during the trip back. Now he was smirking and talking as confidently as ever, but...

_Nobody bounces back from that this fast._

No matter how well he hid it, talking about Mikami _had_ to bother him.

"Frankly, I'm disturbed that you're taking what happened as well as you are," he told Near stiffly, but more gently than he'd spoken a moment before. The smaller boy brought a hand up and began to twist a piece of his pale hair, offering no response. He had shrunken down in his seat a bit when Mello had started shouting, and now the blonde couldn't help but feel a bit bad for doing so. _I didn't mean to...but he's been through enough today—we shouldn't be talking about this so soon._ _Gah, I wish I could take back what I said..._

* * *

_What exactly happened to him, anyway?_ Matt watched Near worriedly; he had the distinct feeling that whatever it was, hearing about it would make him feel sicker than he already did when he imagined the smaller boy at Mikami's mercy. _Mell said Mikami might've "done more than he already did"...h-he didn't...did he?_ He left the thoughts incomplete; he didn't even really want to think what he knew the answer probably was. Words like "molestation" and "rape" were whirling through his mind, and it was chilling to realize that he didn't know for sure that any of those _hadn't_ happened to Near.

_He was gone for a day and a half—closer to two. Mikami has to be stronger than him...and, Mell must have found him in some kind of really bad situation, to say what he just said..._

Mikami had seemed so possessive of Near during their last conversation...had waited carefully until Matt put him down to bring the gun out, so as not to risk hitting him...it made the redhead shiver to think back on those few terrible moments that he was bleeding on the floor, still conscious enough to listen as Mikami left with Near but too weak to call for help or even to move to go after them. _I probably passed out in about a minute...maybe._ A minute had been just long enough to feel like a failure where protecting Near was concerned.

"Let's talk about something else," he said quietly, unable to keep the tightness from the lump in his throat out of his voice. Thinking of what Near had been through made him want to cry. _And now that he's back, instead of taking care of him like we should, we have some big stupid argument about friendship when we already all know the answer is just to try...geniuses or not, we're being really idiotic about all of this._

* * *

"Yeah." Mello's agreement came so quickly that it almost ran over the last part of Matt's sentence. Quite abruptly the two of them were looking at him with pity in their eyes...like he needed to be treated and spoken to gently all of a sudden. _What an irony from the person who was just shaking me around by my shirt..._ Near stopped fiddling with his hair, folding his hands on his lap and taking a deep breath.

"I know what you two are thinking," he said softly, not looking at them as he spoke. If he looked he was sure that he would only see concerned blue staring back from whichever of them that he chose to focus on. "However, Mr. Mikami barely did a thing to me." _It's true—he didn't harm me, short of putting in that IV needle. _He frowned faintly at the memory of being too weak to resist, but forced himself to ignore it and pay attention to the present situation.

Mello's snort off to the side defined his disbelief pretty succinctly. Matt only bit his lip.

_They think that I am lying,_ Near realized with slight irritation. _Why would I lie about this? Mello saw me in the worst situation that I had to endure for the entire thing..._ He hugged himself, trying not to focus on the memory of being strapped down to the bed too much. _He didn't actually harm me...although I regard him as someone dangerous now. He _is_ responsible for what happened. _

He wasn't dismissing the fact that being kidnapped and kept by Mikami had been a horrible experience...but Matt and Mello definitely seemed to believe that things far worse had happened to him.

* * *

"Look, you don't have to make excuses for that bastard," Mello said, brows furrowing angrily again at the thought of Mikami. _He's trying to hide it, but there's no way in hell that somebody twisted like Mikami had him for almost two days and the worst thing he did was to try to take his clothes off. I won't believe that for a second!_

"I am not making excuses for anyone," Near sighed, looking at the toes of his socks uncomfortably. "He didn't really harm me. The worst thing he did was to...touch my stomach. Y-you saw that, Mello—it was very uncomfortable, but he...didn't hurt me..." He shrank down further into the chair; their staring at him seemed to make him uneasy.

_Kind of like when Matt tries to lie and I look him in the eye, as a matter of fact._

Exactly like that.

"If he didn't hurt you, what happened to your wrist?" Matt asked quietly, pointing at the red marks visible thanks to Near's undershirt being sleeveless. "Who did that, huh?"

"The _straps_ did that," Mello answered darkly, crossing his arms and scowling at Near. "Oh, I didn't mention? Mikami had him tied down to his bed when I got there!"

"I-I pulled the IV out of my arm trying to escape," the white-haired boy explained quickly, holding up his bandaged right wrist, "And I also fell off of the table...h-he restrained me so that I wouldn't harm myself any further. That is all, though." He sighed tiredly, "I have no reason to lie to either of you about this—please believe me."

Mello exchanged a skeptical look with Matt, who was obviously saddened by what he was hearing. _He wasn't there—he'd be a lot more worried if he got to see Near in the state _I_ saw him in when I first got there. Ten more minutes and I'm willing to bet Mikami would have had all of his clothes off! _He shook his head slightly, banishing the anger that started bubbling up every time he thought about that too much. He looked down at Near, who looked too tired to maintain much more of this conversation. _I know he's lying about this, but..._

He sighed, "Well, at least you're safe now. Matt and me are gonna take good care of you—aren't we, Matt?" _If something like this happened to me, I'd be ashamed enough with _me_ knowing it happened without having to tell everybody I know, too. It would be bad to force him to talk about it if he doesn't want to, anyway..._ He would try and talk to Near about it again later, in private. In the meantime, pressing the issue didn't seem like the right thing to do.

"Right!" Matt smiled as best he could, a trace of concern coming through in his voice despite his efforts. "Er, as soon as I can get out of bed, anyway. 'Til then, sorry but you'll have to do most of the 'taking care', Mell..."

Mello smirked at this, uncrossing his arms and propping one hand on his hip instead.

"Hah—taking care of two people is no big deal! I could take care of a dozen if I felt like it," he boasted, reaching over and ruffling Near's hair with the other hand. _That's right—I'm the only one who's up to par right now, and L's always busy with some case, so it's up to me to take care of them. _He resolved to try his best not to be mean to Near, at least for a little while. No truce of theirs had ever lasted long, but this weekend's experience had been an eye-opener for him as far as Near was concerned.

He looked into the scrutinizing dark-eyed stare that had snapped onto him from the moment his hand had landed on the shorter boy's head, and smiled. _Maybe I'm just a little bit more fond of him now...a really little bit._

* * *

It was remarkably strange to want to thank Mikami for doing what he had done, but L was actually entertaining the idea...idly, of course. _I wouldn't ever really do such a thing...but, I have to admit that his actions have changed a lot of things for those three._ He sat with his thumb propped against his bottom lip, smiling behind it at the boys talking and smiling only a few feet away. Mello, for all of his shouting and blustering about hating the smaller boy, seemed more protective of Near than anything now. He was even patting him on the head and smiling at him.

Matt still looked a bit concerned, but he was smiling his way through it, waving a hand as he talked to Mello. He reached over and plucked the dinosaur from the bed stand, holding it up and smiling sheepishly. After a moment, Near reached and took it from him, turning immediately and handing it to Mello. The blonde stood there with the plastic beast in his hands, looking unsure how to respond.

_Remarkable, indeed._ _Matt didn't handle this friendship situation as I would have, but I can't deny that his method worked. Then again, I've never had even one person so eager to be my friend, nevermind two at once..._ The great detective poked his lip with his thumb, wide eyes focused intently on the redheaded boy. _...Perhaps Matt knows more about what it means to be a friend than I do. I don't doubt it, actually. Perhaps I could take some pointers from him..._

Maybe someday he would have a best friend, too.

--End Chapter 23

* * *

AN: I guess all they really needed from the start was for Matt to muster up enough confidence to speak his mind...it seems that if L sanctions what they're doing, these guys get a lot more confident. ^^;

Mello is so mood-swingy... XD; Poor guy, first I write him hopping mad, then angsty, then hopping-mad-but-faking-being-a-jerk-to-help-person-he's-mad-at-despite-being-hopping-mad, then worried/angry, THEN happy/confident/tentatively-open-to-friendship. Sorry if he seems OOC...he took his sweet time about it, but he finally decided to give sharing Matt's friendship an honest try. (Mutters) We'll see how long THIS lasts, eheh...

Thank you for reading "In Charge"--don't worry, there's another chapter coming! :) There are a few loose ends to tie up yet; can you guys guess which ones I'm talking about?

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 23**

Akugi #90

Mello: _Loser. I'm a loser...again._

Near: "Yep." 3

Mello: (Twitch) _Will. Not. Punch. Person. I. Just. Saved._

Matt: ^_^; "Don't feel bad, Mell—I'm a loser, too, so we can be all loser-y together!"

Mello: "....How the hell do you guys keep answering my thoughts?!"

Matt & Near: (Whistle innocently)

Akugi #91

Matt: "Y-you took on a guy with a gun _bare-handed_? You could've taken a gun from the police department, you know!"

Mello: (Incredulously) "What, and have THEM start shooting at me too?!"

Near: u.u "I believe he meant to borrow one, not to steal it, Mello."

Akugi #92

Near: "I know what you two are thinking."

Mello: (Points finger accusingly) "HOW!? And don't you dare just whistle and pretend you can't READ MINDS!" _

Akugi #93

Near: "T...tell Matt 'yes'. Stop hesitating—say it."

Mello: (Weirded-out look) "Near, stop pestering me—I already told you, I am NOT marrying him! What the hell do YOU care, anyway?!"

Near: "...He said I could be the best man." 3

Mello: "..."


	24. Hopeful

**In Charge**

**Chapter 24 – Hopeful**

By Threshie

AN: Wow, after over a month of working and reworking and reworking and reworking this chapter, it's FINALLY ready for you to read! (Faint) Er...enjoy, LOL.

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Moonlight filtered in thin, silvery rays through the blinds. Near stared at the slender stripes that it painted across his chest, wishing that he could fall asleep again. He'd awakened abruptly a few moments ago, and was now for some reason not tired at all. _I wish that Matt was here to talk to... _He glanced around the stark, shadowy hospital room, the soft glow of the monitoring equipment the brightest point in the room save for the shards of moonlight.

Matt was in the room next door. Much as he had wanted to stay in the same room as the redhead, Dr. Lidner had informed them that the doctors and nurses kept track of patients by their room numbers, and that the private rooms were really too small to accommodate two patients and twice the usual amount of medical equipment. Near felt all right besides his fatigue, but the doctor had insisted that he remain a patient at least until they could determine that moving around so much just after surgery hadn't complicated things.

Since Matt wouldn't be released from the hospital for at least another day due to the amount of blood he'd lost, it only made sense that Near stay in the hospital too, at least until then. L had promised that they all could finally go home after that. _He got to go home last night...I wish that we could have gone with him. _L had only gone home because there were a few final details of the case he and Mello had been working on that he had to see to, but even returning right to working on cases would have been fine after this week...

And that was how Near found himself awake in the middle of the night with only the moonlight for company. He wondered when Mello, who had been going back and forth between his and Matt's rooms to check up on them, would visit next. _If Dr. Lidner had allowed us to be in the same room, he wouldn't have had to do that, either._

He sighed, closing his eyes. It didn't do any good to sit and wish that things were different; they were what they were. _I do wish that I could sleep again, though—this doesn't make any sense. Why am I awake...? _He'd been so exhausted when he'd crawled into bed that he'd thought he might sleep through the next day—waking up early certainly hadn't seemed possible.

The soft clicking of the door opening and closing drifted to his ears. _Mello..._

Soft footsteps, and then he felt a hand lightly ruffle his hair. _He and Matt both do that; I wonder which one started the habit first?_ He never saw them touch each other's hair, they just seemed to ruffle his a lot. _Hmm..._

"How is Matt?" He asked, opening his eyes to glance at the blonde's expression.

Mikami smiled back, slanted eyes focused intently upon his own.

Near froze, staring in shock. _Mr. Mikami! H...how...?!_

He sat up quickly—or tried to, anyway. A familiar thick tightness was clamped firmly around each wrist...

_H-he...._ Near lay still, panic and helplessness gripping his chest almost as tightly as the leather straps again gripped his wrists and ankles. _Did he escape the police and come here...just to get me? How did he restrain me without waking me up? How did he restrain me before he even arrived...?_ There wasn't any other way that what was happening could be explained, but...

"Your brother is dead," Mikami told him gently in response to his question, his expression softening a little. "But it's all right—I'm going to take care of you now..." He ran his fingers through Near's pale hair, slipping his hand down to stroke the side of the boy's face gently, so gently...

Near shivered, turning his face away.

"Wh-what do you want with me?" He asked shakily, thoughts still racing over why, _how_...

"I only want to take care of you," the tall man murmured in that same slow, gentle tone he had spoken in before. As he spoke he slipped his fingers beneath the hem of Near's shirt, sliding it up across his chest to expose pale skin. The white-haired boy shrank away from his touch, but there wasn't far to go—the straps and the bed both made sure of that. _N-no...don't touch me...!_

He struggled, wrists burning as the straps bit into the marks from his first encounter with Mikami. This couldn't be happening...how could this be happening?!

Fingers slid feather-light down over his ribs, caressing his sides. The panicked thumping of his heart drowned out all other sounds.

_Sounds!_

"Mello!" He shouted, ceasing struggling to focus on being as loud as he possibly could. _If Mello is in Matt's room next door, he might be able to hear me!_ He wasn't alone like last time, he thought, screaming, "_Mello_, help me! Help--!" A hand clamped over his mouth, muffling his cries. Mikami snagged the metal framing of the bed with his other hand, dragging it along on its wheels toward the door.

_No...no, no, no!_ Near wriggled, trying to speak around or even to bite Mikami's hand out of the way, but the tall man was pressing on his mouth so hard that he couldn't have hoped to do either. Smothering...he couldn't draw a full breath.

"Near...?!"

_Mello!_ Near started struggling again, hoping that maybe it would slow Mikami down at least a little.

"M-Mello! Mello, help me! Mikami is--!" He was so panicked that it took a moment for him to realize that he could speak again. There was no hand over his mouth...in fact, he wasn't even laying down anymore. _The straps—where--_

"Hey, calm down! It's okay—Near, you're okay!" The anxious voice was Mello's; Near felt as well as heard it. His face, he realized, was pressed close to the blonde boy's chest. Mello had both arms wrapped around his waist, a hand patting his back lightly.

_...Not real,_ he realized finally, heart still pounding loudly. _A nightmare._

* * *

_I knew it—I _knew_ he was lying about what Mikami did to him!_ Mello thought angrily, trying to his best to sound reassuring as he said, "It was just a nightmare, Near. It's okay..." He had been on his way to Near's room to check up on him when he'd heard the white-haired boy shouting for help. Mello hadn't ever heard him sound so frantic. The only time that came close was when Mello had interrupted that medic, Takada, from trying to assess his injuries, and even then he hadn't sounded this panicked.

_It must have been some nightmare, to get him so freaked out..._

Near had been thrashing about in his sleep; Mello had barely made it across the room in time to catch him before he rolled off the side of the bed, in fact. He'd guessed that the cause of the panic was a nightmare then, but after Near had said something about Mikami, he was certain of it. _Was he calling for help like this when Mikami really had him?_ If he had, then it had to have been before Mello arrived. The thought of Near calling for him to help, and him arriving too late... _That bastard...look what he's done!_

Near pulled away from his arms suddenly, snapping him out of his thoughts. The white-haired boy hugged himself tightly, dark eyes darting quickly back and forth. He looked at the window, the door, the bed that they were sitting on...

"Near?" Mello leaned over to peer into his eyes worriedly. _Is he still asleep? His eyes are open, but he hasn't said anything..._

"M-Mello," the smaller boy responded at last, voice trembling almost as much as he was. He glanced at the head of the bed, then toward the door again, as if expecting somebody else to be in the room. Mello watched him warily. _You little liar...you're not okay at all, and he _did_ do something, didn't he?_

"Are you okay?" He asked, despite knowing that he really wasn't; he leaned one of his hands on his knee and glanced at the white-haired boy sidelong. Near was frowning faintly, looking in the general direction of his hands in a distant way—staring through them.

"...Yes."

_Like hell you are!_ Mello thought, gritting his teeth. Near was still avoiding the subject of what had happened during his time with Mikami...and now, having awakened in such a panic, it was clear that he was hiding _something_. _I wish he'd talk to somebody about it..._ He glanced at the smaller boy, who still trembled visibly, and sighed a little. _He's so damned stubborn, though! I don't want to force him to talk, but there might not be any other way..._

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly, trying to sound patient even though he knew the answer already. _He'll never talk to me. Let's face it, saying we're friends is one thing—treating each other like it is gonna take some work. _He was pretty sure he wouldn't want to talk about it, either, if it was him in Near's position.

"I would like to go back to sleep now," Near said flatly, rather than replying to the question. Apparently considering the conversation, the white-haired boy slowly crawled back under the blankets, wincing a little as he settled down onto his bruised side. He immediately turned and buried his face in the pillow, avoiding Mello's eyes.

_I get it,_ the blonde thought unhappily. _You don't want to talk to me._ He nodded, standing and looking down at the smaller boy. _I'll bet if I was Matt you'd talk to me. I guess he's earned your friendship, though, huh?_ It bothered him that Near wouldn't confide in him, and he wasn't sure why. It made perfect sense that his ex-rival wouldn't trust him literally overnight...but Mello had gone through so much trouble to save him that he had been hoping that Near would maybe see him in a new light.

_Stupid,_ he thought drolly, withdrawing the hand he'd been about to tuck Near's blanket in with. He frowned down through his fingers at the floor. _He doesn't want anything to do with you—it's not like you've ever been very nice to him, why the hell would he? Even while saving him you managed to do something underhanded—lie to him about Matt._ Matt...it made more sense to have the redhead talk to Near about what had happened between him and Mikami, but after the whole scene the two of them had made over fighting over his friendship, Mello figured he owed Matt the peace of mind not to bring this up, too.

..._Besides, if we're both going to be Matt's friend, we have to learn to get along with each other—and nobody's gonna be able to say that _I_ was the one who didn't try hard enough!_

Determined, he turned and sat down on the edge of the bed again. Near didn't move or even acknowledge that he hadn't left. The complete lack of reaction didn't really help Mello's enthusiasm any...he focused on his hands, fidgeting and tapping his fingertips on his knees. _...I'm not sure how to start this. Damn it...he's not making it very easy! It's not like all of our fights have been one-sided—he's been a pain in the ass plenty in the past, so why do I have to be the one to try and fix everything?_

'Because you're the problem.' his mind answered promptly. It wasn't an easy thing to admit, but the truth was that if he hadn't been so adamant about telling Near not to befriend Matt, most of the complications of the past week wouldn't have happened. Near would still have gotten appendicitis, of course, but perhaps if certain parties hadn't been so busy being petulant about certain other parties wanting to stay at the bedside of certain third parties, other insane and potentially-pedophiliac parties wouldn't have had a chance to abduct the third parties...

_Listen to me, I'm thinking like a legal document,_ Mello thought drolly, resting his head in his hands. _Stop stalling! You know what you need to do: say you're sorry and tell Near—scratch that--_ask_ Near if he'll be friends with you. _He'd already resolved to be Near's friend earlier, when he'd agreed to sharing Matt's friendship with the white-haired boy, but obviously Near wasn't of the same mindset, to be so mistrusting of him still. _Maybe it's just the fact that it's me...maybe he'll never trust me much, after how we've always treated each other. _He frowned. _Stop it! Y-you're being self-defeating, dammit—start the conversation before you invent the end!_

* * *

Near waited until the footsteps had faded out of hearing range before opening his eyes again. Mello had seemed reluctant to leave, for some reason. _He was concerned for me..._ He couldn't decide if Mello was sincerely trying to be nice or was just convinced that Near was in some fragile emotional state and thus had to be treated gently. Either way, it was frustrating. _He and Matt both...they still believe that I am lying about what happened to me._

He bit his lip, closing his eyes. As frustrating as it was to have no-one believe him when he was telling the truth, it wasn't hard to see why they thought he was lying. His own mind was concocting horrible dreams, as if trying to convince him that he had in fact been through things far worse than he remembered. _If I can't even convince myself that everything is all right, how can I convince anyone else?_

The dream's image of Mikami's shadowy face leaning over him in the bed snapped to mind, as clear as any real memory, and he shivered. _No—it isn't real. I have control inside of my mind—there is nothing to be afraid of._ He imagined himself staring evenly back at the tall man, looking right into those dark, slanted eyes. His glasses, Near realized, were gone. In fact, he had a cut across the bridge of his nose from where Mello's fist had crunched the wire frames into his face.

_Those are details that my mind added because I know what happened to him,_ Near reassured himself, trying not to listen to his pulse thudding louder and louder, like footsteps...

Mikami smiled.

Near hadn't thought that he should smile.

"Are you all right?" He whispered, smile dissolving into solemn concern as he leaned down close to Near's face, "You look frightened..."

"You are not real," Near replied, somehow compelled to whisper as well. As if speaking any louder might break his concentration and give Mikami a chance to take control. _Don't be stupid,_ he told himself firmly, _This is _not_ real. He cannot take control—he is only my imagination. My fears..._

"Are you afraid of me?" The nurse asked gently, placing a hand lightly atop his head. "That's unfair...you know that I would never hurt you." His voice got softer, and he leaned in closer, until Near could feel each breath brush against his ear. "I only want to take care of you, Near..."

"I won't allow you to do anything to me," Near said stiffly, but now he wasn't so sure that he could do it. _He called me by my real name—he shouldn't have. He has always called me by the pseudonym that Matt wrote onto my papers, Kennedy..._ His mind was a logical place; if it accounted for Mikami's facial injury, how could it overlook something like his own name?

"Near?"

_Mello? _The voice sounded very close, but the blonde had left awhile ago. Confused, Near stopped focusing on Mikami for a moment...

Lips pressed hard to his.

* * *

"M--!" Mello's eyes widened as Near suddenly sat up in bed, a hand flying over his mouth. At first the blonde thought maybe he was going to throw up, but when the white-haired boy remained sitting there it became obvious that that wasn't the case.

_I only said his name—no way I freaked him out like this! Must be another nightmare...I guess he drifted off to sleep again pretty quick._ It had been about ten minutes since he'd sat down again; just when he'd finally worked up the courage to start the conversation he was determined to have with Near, the white-haired boy had awakened with a start. Undoubtedly he would refuse to talk about this nightmare just like he had with the last one... _Because it's me asking...probably._

Half-heartedly, the blonde turned and asked, "You okay?"

Near appeared to have calmed down a bit, but still had a hand pressed over his mouth. Silently, he nodded once, eyes closed.

"Near, if you're not okay, it's okay to admit it," Mello said pointedly, sighing. _I've never really tried talking to him much before besides arguing with him; got to be careful not to be too pushy, or he'll probably respond the same way that he does to arguments..._

"It was only a-a bad dream," the smaller boy said, removing the hand from his mouth at last. Shaking and disheveled like he was, he only reminded Mello of the moment when he had been freed from the straps at Mikami's home and had broken down into tears. Mello almost wished he would just cry and get it over with now, too. _I wouldn't enjoy watching him do that again, but at least then he wouldn't be lying about things. Maybe he's bottling everything up..._

"A nightmare about Mikami," he said quietly. "About what...he did to you?" Near looked at him quickly at that. Suspiciously.

"H-he didn't harm me."

"Don't give me that!" Mello growled, crossing his arms, "If he didn't do something to you, then why are you having nightmares about him?" Near only averted his eyes to the floor, offering no reply. Mello gritted his teeth, forcing himself to take a deep breath. _Yelling doesn't help with him, remember...and he doesn't really deserve to be yelled at. He's just so...damned _stubborn_..._

"Near," he began, as calmly as he could, "Listen, I understand if you don't want everybody to know about this--"

"He _didn't_ harm me," Near repeated, more stiffly this time. Mello could almost see the barriers being slapped up to block him out.

"Earlier you were asking me to _help_ you," he said tightly, "So _let_ me help. Is it because you don't trust me? Do you think I'll go and tell somebody else about it?"

* * *

Near almost smiled at the accusing tone that the blonde was using. Despite having been rivals until yesterday, obviously Mello expected him to trust him already. The subject of the conversation was no smiling matter, though, and so the white-haired boy remained stoic as he turned to peer up at Mello. _This is really bothering him, isn't it? _After waking up screaming for his help, he was sure that the blonde boy was more convinced than ever that Mikami had done something horrible to him.

Like in that last dream... He bit his lip.

_Why is my mind showing me such things?_ He wasn't really sure why he was having nightmares in the first place--it wasn't as if Mikami had actually done anything particularly horrible to him. _Except to make me feel...helpless. Perhaps that is the reason._ _Even that certainly isn't whatever Mello is assuming._

He couldn't really blame Mello for assuming the worst, with the state the blonde had discovered him in, but it was irritating that nobody seemed to believe he wasn't lying. Apparently nobody trusted him to his word when it came down to it...

"Mello...you have always hated me," Near pointed out, looking down at the floor again. He said it matter-of-factly, and sounded much more sure of himself than he felt._ It's true, isn't it? Perhaps after yesterday you don't hate me anymore...but assuming that you are my friend suddenly would just be foolish._

He was rather puzzled by Mello's concern for him; yesterday he'd seemed to be tolerating talking to him for Matt's benefit, so why did he want Near to confide in him about the incident with Mikami so much? _Perhaps he just wants me to acknowledge his theory so that he feels like he was right and I was wrong..._ Considering the blonde's competitive nature, it wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility.

Mello was quiet for a long moment. Near peeked at him sidelong and saw that his brows were furrowing sadly, even as an unexpected smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"After growing up around me, I thought you'd know me better, Near. Look, I don't do things half-way—if we're gonna both be Matt's friends, and not make it a competition, we'd damned well better try and be friends with each other."

* * *

Mello wasn't expecting much response from Near regardless of what he said...so when there was the rustle of blankets, he assumed that the smaller boy was rolling over or something. He assumed so for a moment or two, anyway—until a head of fluffy white hair leaned into his vision; Near's dark eyes were peering up at his face suddenly, inches away and filled with hesitation.

"Mello," the white-haired boy ventured, "You...are you asking to be my friend?" _He sounds so disbelieving,_ Mello thought, sweatdropping. He smiled despite himself, though. Seeing an astonished Near was a very rare sight, but it was actually kind of amusing when it happened—which was twice in the same number of days recently.

"Yeah...I guess I am. What do you say?" He glanced down at the white-haired boy, adding wryly, "Or is it too hard to think of me as anything but that guy who keeps trying to pick a fight with you?"

Near's mouth curved into that familiar little smirk, and he shook his head quickly.

"No...I want to be friends. I never thought that you would agree to such a thing, though..."

_This is one case where I can change things and _not_ be the problem!_

"Well, I agree," Mello disproved that theory on the spot, turning and patted the smaller boy's shoulder with a smirk. "Congratulations—we're friends now. Let's show Matt we're capable of not only getting along but being real friends, too, huh?" _You're not so bad when you're not being a know-it-all...and when you act a little more human._

Near smiled back, turning his dark eyes to the floor as one hand crept up to twist a lock of his hair absently.

"Yes."

* * *

The dinosaur's smile greeted Matt first-thing the next morning. The redhead didn't smile back, instead glancing around the empty hospital room with tired eyes. He hadn't slept well last night; Mello had visited twice to check on him, but after that he'd been gone all night. _I hope he kept Near company_. Not only did the white-haired boy hate being left alone in hospital rooms, but now he probably worried that some stranger would come abduct him if he was out of the sight of people that he knew. _I know _I'd_ worry about it, anyway..._

Mello promised to take care of Near, so Near was in good hands, the redhead reassured himself, looking up at the ceiling. _It's okay--it's over. And...today's the first day they're both my friends._ That brought a smile to his face. Looking back on the evening before, the scene was laughable; how had they possibly managed to make such an emotional mess of such a simple thing as asking Matt to be his friend? _I guess since we're trained to pay attention to every detail of a situation, we can over think things sometimes._

He reached over and plucked the dinosaur off of the bedstand, examining its pebbled skin and rounded features. _I don't know how I managed to read them both the facts like that—I didn't even know I had it in me! _He smiled sheepishly, placing the dinosaur on the bedstand again. There was a soft clatter; the plastic beast's foot had slid another object across the tabletop. A small brown cube.

"Whoops," the redhead muttered to himself, sweatdropping and snatching the item off of the edge of the table where it had been balancing precariously. It was one of L's caramels from the night before; he'd given it to Matt before heading home. His words from then were still fresh in Matt's mind, and though he wasn't sure that he believed them entirely, it had been good to hear someone say such a thing...

"_I've been waiting for this to happen", the great detective confessed, leaning sideways to scrutinize the dinosaur's grinning face from the side. "...For you to finally be the bridge to Near's and Mello's personality extremes, as I've always suspected that you would become eventually."_

"_Huh?" Matt asked, watching him sidelong since he still couldn't turn onto his side in the bed. "What do you mean? It's kind of hard to be a 'bridge' for other people when either side's a lot smarter than you..."_

"_If you're looking at numbers, yes, they're both smarter than you," L shrugged, poking the dinosaur's teeth with such a look of concentration on his face that Matt would have assumed he wasn't paying attention to the conversation at all if he didn't know the man better. _He's like Near,_ he thought fondly, _He doesn't look like he's paying attention, but he's probably memorizing every detail.

"_Yeah," he started dubiously, wondering why they were taking up time stating the obvious when he'd just said the same thing._

"_However...there's more than one kind of IQ," L stood back up to his usual hunched-over posture, tucking the tip of one thumb into his mouth and training his wide-eyed stare on Matt suddenly. "When it comes to friendship...call it 'Friendship IQ', if you like...you're the biggest genius of all, Matt."_

_Stunned, Matt couldn't come up with anything to say that would refute such a statement. Since he'd never been tested for this 'Friendship IQ', he couldn't truthfully deny what L had said...but it seemed impossible to be better than the black-haired man at anything, even something that he'd never seen L try. He and Mello and Near all tended to automatically assume that L was simply the best. That was fact, as far as they had always been concerned._

_Smiling at the redheaded boy's startled face, L murmured, "I've got to go now, Matt; try and keep Mello and Near in line while I'm gone, all right?" _

"_Sure," Matt answered, blinking. _Me? He's leaving me in charge of them...?!

"_Here," L paused and rummaged in one of his jeans pockets, producing a single brown caramel square. Placing it on the top of Matt's head, he looked completely serious as he said in a deadpan tone, "Cheer up—the good guys won out in the end, like they're supposed to."_

_With that, he shoved both hands into his jeans pockets and shuffled casually out the door without looking back._

--End Chapter 24

* * *

AN: WILL IT EVER ENNNND? DX (Mello has this disturbing tendency to stretch chapters out when he's in scenes.... ^^; Sorry! Er, although in a way you could thank him, as he's the reason this isn't the last chapter—the next one is.)

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 24**

Akugi #94

Near: "How is Matt?" (Opens eyes)

Mikami: (Is sticking out tongue and crossing eyes) "Nyaaa!"

Near: (Sputter) "D...don't make me _laugh!_ This scene is supposed to be _serious!_"

Mikami: (Sweatdrop) "I resolved to do at least ONE thing toward you in this story that wasn't threatening and creepy!" u_u "Ms. Threshie had better write me into a good-guy role next fic, or people won't believe she's a fan of me anymore."

Near: u.u "Face it--you are good at being creepy because you _are_ creepy."

Mikami: T_T "You're a mean little kid, you know that?"

Akugi #95

Narrator: The panicked thumping of his heart drowned out all other sounds.

Near: _Sounds!_ (Takes deep breath, then screams as high-pitched as possible)

Mikami: _ "UGH, my _head!_" (Clutches ears and runs away)

Mello: (Watches him pass in the hall) "...Do I want to know what that was about?"

Akugi #96

Narrator: Mello gritted his teeth, forcing himself to take a deep breath.

Mello: _Yelling doesn't help with him, remember. A-hem... _(Slaps Near upside the head) "You're gonna LISTEN to me, dammit!" (Snarls and shakes by shirt lapels)

Near: (Twitch) "You'll find that making me bleed is even more ineffective than yelling."

Akugi #97

Matt: _I don't know how I managed to read them both the facts like that—I didn't even know I had it in me!_ (Thinks back)

~~~Flashback mode!~~~

Matt: "You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law!"

Mello & Near: (Exchange identical 'Oooookay' glances)


	25. Doctor

**In Charge**

**Chapter 25 – Doctor**

By Threshie

AN: Welcome to "In Charge", chapter 25! Yikes, a quarter of a hundred chapters...

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"Good morning, Matt."

The words snapped the redhead out of his memories of L's departure; blinking, he realized that Dr. Lidner and Sayu were standing beside his bed. _Wow, I must've been really out of it not to notice them coming in..._

"Hi," he answered sheepishly, trying to wipe the look of surprise off of his face before they noticed. A tiny giggle from Sayu informed him that he'd failed, but neither of the women commented on it, thankfully. "Um...how's Near?"

"I just came from his room," Dr. Lidner said, "He's doing just fine. I have to ask, though, where did your father go? I should think he'd be spending the night at the hospital, with both of his sons as patients here..."

_Oh, right, nobody told her L was leaving last night._

"Oh, he had to finish up some business stuff," Matt answered as casually as he could, "He would've stayed, but this is really time-sensitive stuff...besides, he left Mello to keep an eye on Near and me."

"Did he?" The doctor blinked, "There was no one in your brother's room except for him when I visited."

_Huh? Where'd Mello go? _Matt blinked back, unsure how to respond. He'd assumed when Mello didn't come back to his room all night that he was taking care of Near...if that wasn't the case, where had he been for the past eight or so hours?

"Nevermind; I got my answer, that your father is at home." The doctor waved a hand dismissively, "All right, I'm going to take your bandages off and take a look at the injury—just lie still." Matt nodded, glancing down at the bandages on his chest tiredly. _I wonder how long it'll take this to heal up? It better not keep me from playing my xBox._ If it did, Mikami was going to have even more ill wishes passed his way than were already being tossed at him every time he was mentioned...

The doctor carefully cut the bandages off, hmm'ing to herself thoughtfully as she looked the injury over. Matt hadn't seen it yet, and was kind of hesitant to look. _Having a hole in your chest is kind of...scary? Creepy? I know it'll heal up, but still... _The thoughts were shallow, immediate ones; beneath them, the thought that Mello had left Near alone all night still nagged at him. _Why? Why would he say he'd take care of everything, and then turn around and do that?_

"Did you sleep well, Matt?" Sayu 's question snapped him back to the present; the intern was leaning around Dr. Lidner's shoulder with a bright smile on her face. Reminded of her laughter when he informed her that Mello wasn't a girl, Matt couldn't help but return the smile.

"Nah, but I feel a lot better anyway," he said. _I do, kind of—Near's okay, and that creep doesn't have him anymore, but what's going on with Mello now? Where'd he go?_

"Are you in any pain?" He glanced at Dr. Lidner, whose blue eyes were still trained on his injury while she spoke. Hesitantly, Matt peered down at the wound, too. It really didn't look nearly as bad as it felt; there was a small round spot of red, about half an inch in width, and the area around it was reddish compared to the rest of his skin. _It was a pretty small gun; .9mm, maybe? I guess it just hurts a lot compared to the size when you get hit with a bullet...kind of like getting stabbed with something thin._

Oh, _that_ was a cheery thought.

Sweatdropping, the redhead answered quickly, "Um, a little bit, but not bad. Don't worry about it, Doc." _I really just wanna go home. I want to talk to Mell and Near again..._

"It's my job to patch you up while keeping you as comfortable as possible," the blonde woman answered wryly. Sitting up, she nodded at Sayu, "Please redress this." Without waiting for a response, she turned and started to examine the readouts on the monitoring equipment. "Hmm...you bounce back fast, it looks like. That's very good news."

"What do you mean?" Matt asked, trying not to stare at Sayu, who looked like she was a bit nervous about bandaging the injury; she was biting her lip, focused intently on dressing it correctly. _Poor kid, she's probably never even seen a bullet wound before, being an intern. That makes two of us, I guess..._

"You lost a lot of blood," Dr. Lidner explained a bit stiffly; thinking of who had been doing the shooting obviously still bothered her a lot. "If your friend Mello hadn't come back when he did, you probably would have died before anyone found you. The good news is that your blood pressure is back up quite a bit—in fact, I think it will be all right for you to go home today."

"Really? That's...that's great. Thanks, Doc," the redhead murmured, smiling as best he could. He _was_ happy that he would be okay and could go home, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of his mind that everything hadn't been resolved yet.

_Near. _

Near had explained what had happened to him last night, but neither Matt nor Mello had really believed him. It was hard to believe him when there seemed to be evidence of something more traumatic than he had admitted to... And now there was this business with Mello, too.

_I just want them both to be okay, but I can't even get up to go see for myself. I hope Near can go home today, too....I hope we're all together again soon._

* * *

"Mello...?" Near's voice sounded so small, like he was afraid to speak up too loudly. It made Mello feel kind of guilty for beating such a hasty retreat when Dr. Lidner and her bubbly intern assistant had come by. After snapping at her the day before, the blonde boy hadn't really felt like facing Dr. Lidner again so soon. _She thinks I'm a jerk, I'm sure. Who am I kidding, I _was_ being a jerk..._ He sighed, stepping back into the room from the janitor's closet he'd ducked into.

"I'm here."

Near's dark eyes looked accusing; they stared straight into Mello's.

"You left me alone," he said quietly, lowering his gaze to the blankets across his knees and hugging an arm to his chest. His eyes may have been accusing, but his voice seemed more anxious than anything. Maybe even a bit scared.

Mello sighed, too, coming over and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was here, I just didn't want to talk to them." _That sounds pretty cowardly—I mean, I literally ran away from two girls! _He frowned to himself; it wasn't that he was afraid of them; he just didn't want to talk to Dr. Lidner. He didn't want to have her talk to him and think of him as some jerk...even if it was his own fault that she felt that way. _Way to go, you really messed up everything yesterday..._ Well, not everything, or he and Near wouldn't consider themselves friends this morning, but close enough.

"...Did you hear what she said, then?" Near asked, still looking down at the blankets. He looked and sounded truly exhausted... _After all of the crap Mikami put him through the last few days, last night he kept having nightmares every time he tried to sleep. Doesn't seem fair..._

It was so strange, feeling protective of Near like this. He kept wanting to reassure him, tell him everything would be okay, but it seemed so uncharacteristic that he was afraid he would weird Near out by doing so. _I know I would've been weirded out if somebody who used to hate _my_ guts suddenly started hugging me and talking nicely to me all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me..._

That wasn't the only thing, though. It wasn't just caring about Near that was different, but also the absence of hating him. Living in constant hatred of somebody took a lot of energy; he'd just realized it now that he wasn't focusing on hating Near anymore. Everything felt...lighter, more laid-back. It was almost surreal.

He smiled a little at Near's question, because he _had_ been listening while Dr. Lidner was there, and it was great news.

"Yeah, I heard. She said if Matt's ready to, we can all go home today."

* * *

Dr. Lidner lingered after Sayu left. Matt tried not to show it, but he was a little apprehensive; was she waiting to tell him something in private? Was there something wrong with Near after all...? _Maybe when she examined him, she found evidence that Mikami didn't just kidnap him..._ He bit his lip, watching the blonde woman's expression carefully as Sayu closed the door after her.

As soon as the girl was gone, the doctor turned to Matt seriously.

"Matt, I need to ask you something."

_She sounds really grim. Please don't say what I think you're gonna say about Near..._

"Y-yeah? Like what?" The redhead asked uneasily, reaching for the dinosaur from the bed stand. He wasn't sure why, but holding it cheered him up. It was probably because it reminded him of the look on Near's face when he'd first been given the toy; Matt had never seen him smile like that before. _I want to make him smile like that again. I want him to be happy again. _

If the doctor said something about Near being hurt any more than he already had been, he wasn't sure what he was going to do. _He doesn't deserve any of this—if he had his way, he would've stayed home and never even talked to me or anybody!_

Frowning, Dr. Lidner glanced at the door as if someone might be eavesdropping or something, then turned her eyes back to him and asked quietly, "How are you and Mello related?"

_...Huh?_

Matt blinked, then blinked again. _So it's...not about Near? This is it?_

Much relieved, he smiled, "O-oh...we're best friends! Mell's been my friend since we were both kids living on the streets. When my dad—Ryuzaki, that is--adopted me, he put in a good word for Mello and got the guy down the street to adopt him, actually."_Well, it's more or less true...I just didn't mention the fact that we were in England at the time, and that L's "adoption" of us was having us come live at Wammy's House. I can't tell her any of that, though, so it's white lie time...sorry, Doc. I can't believe how glad I am that she didn't start talking about Near!_

The doctor had been told that Matt and Near were adopted several times, but apparently she hadn't equated that with them being homeless as orphans; she looked sad to be hearing the story.

"I see...and your brother, Near. Is he important to Mello?"

_Well, Mello almost got shot for him, and up 'til now he was important even if it was as Mell's rival, so..._

"Yeah, you could say that," Matt said, nodding. "Ryuzaki already had adopted Near when he took me in; Mello's known him almost as long as he's known me. Hey, don't tell Mell I said this, but..." He glanced covertly at the door, too, lowering his voice, "I think Mello kind of likes you, Doc. He's not this friendly to just anybody he's first met, you know." _Mell's not gonna say anything before we leave, so I may as well tell her. She'll probably laugh, considering their age difference, but what the heck._ _Maybe she'll take it as a compliment._

The doctor's blue eyes had a twinkle in them when she smiled; it was a knowing, perhaps sarcastic kind of smile.

"Really," she murmured, reaching for one of his hands. The one with the IV, Matt realized.

He smiled, too, playing along even though he didn't understand. _Okaaay, sarcasm I didn't expect..._ He was focusing on this strange reaction, and so when Dr. Lidner took the IV needle out he barely noticed until she was smoothing a bandaid over the prick.

"Yep," he answered, watching this. "Don't tell anybody, though, okay? If he found out I told you he'd kill me!"

"Kill you?" The doctor arched a brow at the expression; before she could elaborate, though, there was the soft click of the door opening. Both inhabitants of the room turned their heads to see who was there...and Matt was sure that the doctor was just as surprised as him to see a small white-haired boy stepping inside.

"Near! You shouldn't get out of bed and walk around by yourself," Matt exclaimed, staring. _He looks okay—no wheelchair or IV today, that's good to see...but still, is he supposed to be walking? What if he got too tired to walk here and had to sit in the hallway? Maybe he couldn't stand being alone in his room for that long..._ He was about to ask where in the world Mello had disappeared to, irritated that he would leave Near alone after assuring Matt and L that he'd take care of everything, when a familiar blonde stepped through the door, too.

"Careful, remember you just got more stitches yesterday," Mello told the smaller boy worriedly, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him. Near didn't look like he was having any trouble walking, so Matt decided that Mello was being overprotective. _Maybe compensating for being gone before! He's back now, but that doesn't explain where he was all night..._

"I am all right...both of you," Near said tiredly, glancing back at Mello before turning to Matt. "And, I am not alone—Mello is with me."

There was no reply; Mello and Dr. Lidner had noticed the others' presence, and were regarding each other evenly. Matt wasn't sure why, but there was a sudden tenseness in the air. Frowning, Mello crossed his arms and broke the gaze after a moment, averting his eyes to the side.

_What's this all about?_ Last he knew, Dr. Lidner and Mello seemed to kind of like each other; he was pretty sure they'd been flirting the day they met. Why were they suddenly being sarcastic and avoiding each other's eyes?

"Did he help?" The redhead realized that Near had crossed the room and was standing beside him.

"He?" He asked distractedly, blinking. Near's childish smile was a welcome sight; he started twisting a lock of hair with his right hand, pointing at the dinosaur that Matt held with the other.

"My dinosaur. I was hoping that he helped you to feel better," the white-haired boy explained, reaching out and petting the toy's head gently as if it was a real animal. "If you are well enough to, we can all go home together today..."

"The doctor said you're good to go? That's great!" Matt smiled warmly back, "Doc says I can go home, too, so I guess we get to ride back together. How are _you_ feeling, anyway? You look really tired..." _Really, really tired. Did you sleep at all last night...?_ Imagining Near unable to sleep because he'd been left alone in his hospital room made him really irritated with Mello. _How could he do that?_

Near nodded a little, examining his wrist; there were bruises on both arms where the IV needles had been put in repeatedly. He seemed to just be looking at them absently, not in dismay, but Matt didn't like seeing that he'd been hurt in yet another way recently. _I bet he's in pain of some kind..._

* * *

_Dammit...I thought she'd be gone by now._

Mello had hoped to avoid talking to Dr. Lidner again; he would have preferred to leave the hospital and never look back, to forget about the whole thing. This week had been stressful for more people than just Near...

"Well, I'll have someone call your father and let him know that he can take the two of your home," Dr. Lidner said to Matt and Near, flashing a short smile before turning and walking right past Mello toward the door. She didn't even glance at him as she passed, nor mention him when she spoke—it was like he was invisible.

_Or like she's pretending I don't exist...dammit! This isn't right..._ Grumbling inwardly, the blonde boy turned and sprinted out the door after her.

"Dr. Lidner!"

"Hm...?" Dr. Lidner turned, blinking at him. She crossed her arms, glancing at the door that Mello had left open, and asked mildly, "Can I help you?"

Now that he had her attention, Mello could feel himself freezing up. _Come on, say you're sorry! Two little words...you got yourself into this, dammit, you'd better get yourself out!_ This was why it would've been easier to just let her leave; saying "I'm sorry" was a lot harder to do than it sounded.

_But I've got to. If I let her leave while I still feel like I should say something, it's going to bother me until I go back and fix it!_ He crossed his arms, too, looking at the blonde woman grimly.

"I was a jerk yesterday," he said bluntly. When several moments passed with no visible reaction, he continued a bit awkwardly, "I was...I mean, I shouldn't have said..."

The words weren't coming out right.

_Dammit...!_

He gritted his teeth, shaking his head quickly, "Look, I'm sorry, okay?! I'm sorry. You were just trying to help me, it wasn't any reason to bite your head off."

At first he thought he was imagining the soft laughing; looking up, though, he saw that the doctor had a hand over her mouth, eyes squinting in mirth.

"Oh, you're so funny...you think a little 'go do your job' qualifies as 'biting my head off'? You obviously have no idea how angry some people get at doctors, Mello. Trust me, what you said didn't even phase me."

A bit irked that she was taking things so lightly when he had been so stressed about apologizing, Mello could feel his face flushing as he muttered, "Well it was still uncalled for!"

"You were under a lot of stress," Dr. Lidner said, patting his shoulder, "Both of your childhood friends were hospitalized in the same week! I don't blame you for it at all, but I'll accept your apology if it makes you feel any better."

Mello looked at her evenly, watched for any glimpse of hard feelings, and was surprised when he couldn't find any at all. She smiled slightly, earnest blue eyes standing out starkly against her dark lashes. A moment passed, but it felt like only a second or two...

"...Yeah, it does," he answered finally. "Thanks. Thanks...for taking care of them." That was it, the moment was gone now that he'd spoken. Now that he'd snapped back to reality, he felt a little dizzy—what had that been? That feeling when their eyes met, and said so much without words...

"Hey, it's my job." Dr. Lidner's voice beckoned him out of his thoughts again. "Speaking of work, I'd better get back to my shift. Take good care of your friends, Mello." With one last smile, she turned and headed off down the hallway.

Mello watched her go in bemusement. He was glad that she didn't think he was some jerk, and for the moment he preferred not to think about what exactly their relationship was... There was something else that he didn't understand, too, though.

_When did I tell her Matt and Near were my childhood friends...?_

* * *

Tired.

Near was so tired, tired of this week, of the hospital, of seeing Mello and Matt looking at him with concern in their eyes. _I am all right...really. Or at least..._

"I will be fine," he answered Matt quietly, tracing the needle marks on his unbandaged wrist with his fingertips and frowning a little. _I don't look "fine"; I hope that these go away quickly._ "I am only tired because I didn't sleep well; Mello sat up with me all night." It was true, the blonde hadn't slept either. Each time Near had started to drift off to sleep, his mind would summon some disturbing incarnation of Mikami to shock him awake...and every time he'd snap back to reality trembling and in a panic, Mello would be sitting there beside him to assure him that it hadn't been real. He'd lost track of how many times he'd seen Mikami, and then opened his eyes and saw Mello instead...

"He did?" Matt looked surprised to be hearing this. Wondering why this should surprise him, Near nodded.

"Yes, he stayed with me so that I wasn't alone. He even offered to carry me here, but I wanted to walk by myself..." _I am tired enough that it sounds appealing, but if Matt saw me being carried he might have thought that I still didn't feel well...and I didn't want that._

"Dr. Lidner said he wasn't in the room when she went to see you," the redhead explained curiously, "So you're saying he _was_ there?"

_Oh...that explains why he is surprised._

Near smirked slightly, "Oh, he was there. Dr. Lidner just didn't see him." _Because he was hiding in the closet...but if I admitted to that much, I think he might take back that offer of friendship from last night. He has been taking good care of me, it's only fair to be kind in return._

"You were getting the Doc's phone number, weren't you?" Matt's teasing tone made him glance at the door; sure enough, Mello was coming back inside, looking a lot happier than when he had left. That was short-lived, of course—as soon as he heard Matt, he scowled.

"Very funny," he said grumpily, blushing a bit despite himself. Near and Matt exchanged a glance, both smirking knowingly. _He must at least find her attractive to be blushing._ The white-haired boy decided not to team up with Matt in the teasing, though—he had a feeling Mello might get irritated for real.

* * *

Coming over to stand beside the bed, Mello looked at the dinosaur that Matt had hugged loosely to his chest and raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like Near's rubbing off on you," he said pointedly. "Sorry I didn't drop by much last night." He glanced down at Near, whose dark eyes had slid to the side as soon as he'd heard his name, and frowned a bit.

"It's okay, Near explained," Matt smiled. _I'm glad you were taking care of Near; that's more important than just keeping me company. I didn't think you would leave him alone...that's why it made no sense... _"Since the Doc says we can both go home, would you call L and ask him to send Watari over with the car to get us?" _I feel so weird being the one to tell them what to do...but, L kind of left me in charge when he went home, right?_

If Mello and Near minded him taking charge a bit more, they didn't show it; the blonde nodded, pulling out his cell phone and punching some buttons. Holding it to his ear, he glanced at Near, whose eyelids looked heavy. The white-haired boy had a hand up by his face, but he wasn't twisting his hair with it; this time he was leaning his cheek against it.

_He must be really tired...he was already exhausted last night, and then he barely got any sleep today. I hope he can sleep at home..._

* * *

"L? Mello here." The blonde's voice seemed loud in the otherwise-empty room. Perhaps it seemed extra-loud to Near because it was the only sound keeping him awake. If all was quiet, he was sure that he would have drifted off to sleep by now.

_I can't, though...I will only dream of Mr. Mikami again..._ He sighed heavily, bowing his head because it was starting to feel too heavy to hold up. He really wanted to sit down, but if he suddenly sat on the floor without explanation then Mello and Matt would probably think that something was wrong with him.

_There is nothing wrong with me—I am fine. They need to stop worrying, I am fine..._

"I am fine..." He realized distantly that he was mumbling aloud.

"N-Near...? Hey, are you okay?!" Matt sounded so worried... Near forced his eyes open, blinking up at the redhead, and realized that not only was Matt sitting up for the first time he could remember since he'd ended up bedridden, but Near was half-laying on the side of the bed, one cheek pressed into the warm softness of the blanket. _I...how did I end up here....?_ Last he checked, he'd been standing up... The soft blankets and warmth made it so hard to fight falling asleep...and when someone patted his hair gently, it didn't help. His eyes fell closed again.

"It's okay, he's just tired," he heard Mello say; he sounded a bit amused and a bit worried at the same time. "The walk here must have tired him out....didn't take much." _I wanted to let you carry me...I really did..._ Even as his mind drifted back to the moment when Mello had offered to carry him the short distance to Matt's room, Near felt arms slipping around his back and under his legs. In a motion that felt as effortless as floating, he was scooped up into someone's arms; the scent of leather told him that it must be Mello.

_Of course...Matt can't carry me right now, he is hurt..._

His body felt so heavy that he almost couldn't feel it at all; sleep pressed in all around him, soft and silent, and he knew that he couldn't resist it anymore. If Mikami appeared to him again, he told himself that Mello and Matt would protect him.

_I am safe...here with them, I am safe...._

* * *

Mello sighed, cradling Near close to his chest; he leaned his chin on top of the smaller boy's head, glad that Near was so light-weight. _He probably won't stay asleep for long, though, if last night was any indication..._

By the time he'd finished his phone call to L, Matt's alarmed voice had reached him. Near had slumped over onto the bed; he must have literally fallen asleep on his feet. Mello knew how exhausted he had to be, having watched him toss and turn and awaken from nightmare after nightmare the night before. The last few times, he'd been almost in tears; being exhausted had a way of wearing down on anybody, and staying calm in the face of the scenarios with Mikami that his mind was showing him was harder and harder to do.

_He didn't tell me much about what happens in the nightmares, but I heard enough to know it's about Mikami, and it's bad enough to make him wake up babbling about it. They've got to be pretty bad..._

"Now what?" Matt asked, still looking at Near in concern. He was sitting up in bed still, the dinosaur held in the crook of one arm. It was such a Near-like thing to do...Mello wondered if he was aware of it.

"Well, L said Watari's on the way with the car, so now we wait. The drive's only maybe ten minutes; how about you get out of bed and put a shirt on so we'll be ready to go?"

"Oh! Right, good idea..." Matt nodded, still watching Near a bit worriedly. "You're sure he's just asleep, right?"

"Positive," the blonde assured him. "He drifted of and woke up again like this all night." He glanced down at the boy in his arms unhappily, adding, "He's been having nightmares about Mikami—he couldn't stay asleep more than half an hour at a time."

Matt bit his lip. _Nobody wants to say it, but we both know what he probably did to Near. How can we do anything about it at this point, though? Making him talk about it will just make him think about it all over again!_

He climbed gingerly out of bed, deciding not to comment on the nightmares—not yet. A sharp twinge of pain jabbed through his chest at the movement; he hadn't been kidding when he'd told Dr. Lidner that the wound still hurt a little, but apparently moving around made "a little" turn into "a lot"... The resulting wince was difficult to disguise.

"You okay?" Mello asked.

Matt waved a hand over his shoulder shakily, "Y-yeah...ouch. I'm okay." He sat up slowly, cautiously, but apparently leaning on his arms was the only thing that made his chest hurt, because only the usual dull throbbing was present now.

Glancing around, the redhead ran his fingers through his tousled hair and confessed sheepishly, "Um, I think they threw my shirt away." _I was bleeding all over the place, it was probably stained to hell and back. _

"Probably," Mello muttered, "I know they got rid of Near's long-sleeved shirt—it was too bloody to save." _Heh...I could've borrowed it if he still had it. Oh, well._

Matt pressed the "nurse call" button.

"They got rid of my other shirt, they can get me a new one," he said glumly. _Seems fair, right? Damned Mikami—I liked that shirt..._

Oh, well. It was a small thing on the long run. The important thing was that they could finally go home.

--End Chapter 25

* * *

AN: Okay, I admitted defeat...there was still too much to tell in one chapter, so believe it or not, there will be a chapter 26. (Sweatdrop) And it WILL be the FINAL one—I swear this, it will be the FINAL ONE! (Keeps telling herself that...)

Trivia: The chapter title this time comes from the fact that most of the scenes this time had Dr. Lidner in them. :) She's a fun character; it was amusing to write Mello getting all awkward around her, hehe.

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 25**

Akugi #98

Narrator: Dr. Lidner lingered after Sayu left. Matt tried not to show it, but he was a little apprehensive; was she waiting to tell him something in private? Was there something wrong with Near after all...?

Matt: (Gulp)

Lidner: (Waits 'til the door closes after Sayu, then turns—and gives Matt a long, passionate kiss)

Matt: o///o; "?!"

Lidner: ^^ "I've been wanting to do that since I first laid eyes on you!"

Matt: (Blushing madly) "Y-y-you...DO know I'm underage, r-right...?" _Mello's gonna _kill_ me...!_

Akugi #99

Near: "Did he help?"

Matt: "He?"

Near: "Mello." (Smirk) "I told him to come 'help you feel better.'"

Matt: "..." (Suddenly relieved Mello never visited again last night)

Akugi #100

Matt: "Now what?" (Looks at Near in concern)

Mello: (Smirk) "Now we drive off with him while he's asleep, dress him in hobo clothes, put him on a random park bench, and spy to watch his reaction when he wakes up!"

Matt: (Sweatdrop) "...I thought you guys were friends now?"

Mello: "C'mon, this'll be fun! It's not like it'll _hurt_ him..."

Akugi #101

Matt: "Um, I think they threw my shirt away."

Mello: "Probably. I know they got rid of Near's long-sleeved shirt—it was too bloody to save."

Matt: (Presses the "nurse call" button) "They threw it away, they can go get it back! That's my favorite shirt--haven't they heard of BLEACH!?"


	26. Missing Pages

**In Charge**

**Chapter 26 – Missing Pages**

By Threshie

AN: I give up—this isn't the last chapter either. I know I've been saying the next chapter will be the last for three chapters now. x.x; The plot WILL end at some point, I swear. I don't want to conclude things in a rush, though, when the plot seems to need more time. Hopefully the new developments in the story are still interesting enough that the fic is enjoyable for you to read. XD;

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

Clackclackclackclack...

Near awoke to the distant sound of a keyboard...someone was typing. Besides the soft, constant clacking, for the moment his whole world consisted of stiffness and pain; now that he was rested enough to pay attention to it, he could feel the bruises and marks that had been visible from the start. That, and this was the first time he'd been without an IV dripping pain relievers into his system in days...

Opening his eyes, the white-haired boy glanced around as the room slowly came into focus. _Bedroom,_ he realized, blinking sleepily. _We are back at the apartment._ _When did we leave the hospital? I remember going to see Matt in his room, and then..._ He frowned faintly at the vague recollections of being carried by Mello, assessing correctly that he must have fallen asleep before they could even get out the doors of the hospital. He _had_ been exhausted...it wasn't surprising. It was a bit frustrating, though, since he'd been trying to maintain a strong front for Matt, who was obviously still pretty worried about him.

_I wanted to prove by walking there myself that I was all right, and it backfired._ He sighed; Matt was probably extra worried about him after seeing him fall asleep on his feet. _Well, I _assume_ I fell asleep on my feet—if I'd fallen over it would have awakened me...right?_ Then again, if someone had carried him to the car and driven him home and he hadn't awakened from _that_...

Now that he thought of Matt, where was he?_ We are safe at home, so leaving me alone here is all right, but I wonder what he is doing? I wonder how long we've been home..._ Matt had scarcely left his bedside all week, and when he hadn't been able to do so, Mello had sat with Near; after that kind of vigilance, it felt a bit odd to wake up in a room alone. Matt was probably resting, himself, Near decided.

Maybe Mello was busy watching over him instead, then.

The white-haired boy sat slowly up onto his elbows, frowning at the twinge that went through his right wrist. _Matt lost a lot of blood,_ he thought, ignoring the fact that he had, too._ He must have been pretty exhausted when we last saw each other at the hospital. He deserves to have Mello take care of him for once. I hope he is all right..._ Leaning back onto both arms, he shifted into a sitting position and winced. His hip must have really been bruised from the falls off of the cot and table at Mikami's house to still hurt this badly...it throbbed so much that the pain made its way into the opposite hip as well.

The passing mention of Mikami's name made him tense, like a sudden bad taste in his mouth. That name now reminded him of being helpless; he hated to admit how helpless he'd really been, even to himself.

_I don't want to think about him right now... _He pushed Mikami from his mind, trying to focus on the present.

It was all right to get out of bed, he decided; whether it hurt or not, he had to move sometime, and besides, he wanted to find Matt. _I will be fine if I am careful,_ he told himself, crawling gingerly out of the bed. Putting weight onto his hip made him wince worse than before, but he stubbornly refused to sit down again.

Near needed to move for himself, walk for himself again. This week people had been caring for him nonstop; he had needed the help, but it was still uncomfortable for such a solitary person to have others suddenly decide what he wore, what he did, what he ate, who he spoke to, where he slept... The simple act of walking on his own in his own room was surprisingly satisfying after doing virtually nothing on his own for days.

Control.

He had control of his life again.

"I am not helpless—see? I am not," he said quietly, looking down at his feet planted on the carpet.He wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure himself or the world in general, but he felt like it had to be said.

Cautiously, he took a step, gritted his teeth against his hip's immediate throbbing response, and wobbled a little. Another step or two and he'd confirmed that he had a definite limp with his left leg. _It will go away when I heal,_ he told himself firmly, and thought nothing more of it. Everything would be fine now; he could take it easy until he healed. No more having to run or fall off of furniture anymore. No more trying to escape anyone...

His mind whispered the beginning of Mikami's name, but he banished it again before it could even finish. _No. Think of something else._

Clackclackclack--

Abruptly, the typing, which had continued almost constantly since he'd first awakened, had stopped.

Glad for the distraction from his thoughts, Near glanced at the door, wondering abruptly who was typing and on what. Perhaps L...this was his base of operations, after all, and he was a very busy detective. The voice that came through the door a moment later, though, was not his idol's.

"Alright, that does it."

Matt, Near realized. He sounded very far away; he was saying more, but the first sentence had been louder, and so the rest came out as only murmurs. Still, Near was glad to hear his voice. _He isn't sleeping after all. If he is up and about, he has to be feeling better, too._

Padding softly to the door, Near opened it a crack as quietly as he could and peered out into the living room. Immediately his nostrils were assaulted by the strong scent of cigarette smoke; he cupped a hand over his nose and mouth, now expecting more than ever to see Matt...so when his eyes landed on Mello, he blinked in surprise.

"You're sure you got rid of everything? Even your blood types could give somebody who's investigating you or Near clues about you," the blonde was saying grimly, snapping off a chunk of the chocolate bar in his hand. He was seated on the back of the sofa, one leg propped up across it sideways and the other hanging down the front. _They must be talking about our medical records at the hospital,_ Near realized; he followed Mello's gaze to the right, and sighted the familiar stripy shirt and red hair right away.

Matt was sitting at L's computer, slowly spinning himself in circles on the office chair with his good arm and casting a swirling smoke trail upward from the cigarette that dangled out of his mouth. His other arm was in a sling...Dr. Lidner must have put it on before he left the hospital at some point. _Some point that I was asleep for,_ Near thought, again frustrated with his own exhaustion.

"Yeah, got that," Matt said flatly, watching the ceiling slowly rotate from his vantage point on the spinning chair. He didn't look very happy for having just finished a hacking job; he usually took pleasure in editing official records to his liking, but probably had more pressing things on his mind right now. "L only gave 'em the police station's number to forward through to his phone, but I deleted it too, just to be sure. As far as their records are concerned, we were never there."

Mello only nodded, chomping on the edge of his chocolate while staring thoughtfully off into space. A long moment of silence passed between them, and Near remembered suddenly that he was standing there eavesdropping. _I want to talk to them,_ he frowned, peering out through the crack again, _But if I do, they will start treating me differently again._ It was frustrating to be treated gently; even after telling them over and over that he was fine, they persisted in acting like he'd undergone some heavy dose of emotional trauma.

Never mind the fact that he immediately changed the subject of his thoughts every time Mikami came up, or that he couldn't think back on what had happened during the kidnapping without starting to shake. _I must accept it. It happened, and it wasn't __pleasant...but now it's over, so I must move on. Thinking about it more will only make me act in ways that verify their theories that I need to be treated gently—and I am sick of being treated gently! I just want everything to go back to normal..._

"L said he's gonna do the report about all of this." Matt's quiet voice stirred him from his frustrated thoughts; the redhead was looking down at the carpet, cigarette dangling between two fingertips now and his mouth set into a grim line. His eyes were hidden by the yellow lenses of his goggles again; it was like wearing a mask, concealing his eyebrows so that to some degree his expression was unreadable.

"Yeah," Mello sighed, snapping off another piece of chocolate with his teeth. "I don't like making Near think about it again so soon, but it's better than letting the cops question him. I'm sure Near would agree if we asked him."

* * *

"If you asked me what?" Matt looked up quickly at the quiet voice and saw that a certain white-haired boy was stepping through the bedroom door, looking at him and Mello seriously. His eyes didn't hold any confusion at all, nor did his tone. It was obvious that he already knew the answer to the question. Matt paused in his chair-spinning to take a nervous little puff of his cigarette. _Eheh...how long has he been listening?_

"Near, how are you feeling?" Mello asked, hair draping across his shoulder as he glanced back at the smaller boy standing behind him. "You okay?"

Near blinked at the questions, which for once held no sarcasm or bitterness, and directed his dark eyes to the carpet at his feet.

Tangling the fingers of his right hand in his tousled hair, he answered a bit shyly, "I feel much better...thank you."

"That's good..." Near's reaction must have driven the point home that this was a strange way to be acting, because now Mello sounded a bit awkward himself. Frowning, he chomped on his chocolate again and said no more.

Matt watched the exchange with a mixture of amusement and concern. _They're not used to talking to each other except to fight...I wonder if they'll ever get used to it? What's weird is that when he thought Near was upset, Mell didn't have any trouble talking to him. Now that he's back to normal somewhat, I guess it's harder to justify being so nice to him...?_

It would have seemed bizarre to see Mello and Near speaking to each other civilly for Matt, too, but he and the blonde had sat talking about Near for hours the night before, and he could tell that Mello was sincere about wanting to be friends.

"It's so weird, Matt," he'd said, "I don't even understand it myself. Last week I hated him, positively _hated_ him, but now somehow he doesn't seem so bad. I don't get it, but...you feel the same way, right? You want to protect him from people like Mikami, too." He said 'Mikami' like a curse word, practically spat it out every time he said it now.

Matt had agreed, of course.

It seemed like Mello was struggling to understand his own emotional u-turn where Near was concerned, and trying to make him explain why didn't seem like a good idea at the moment. At least there wasn't a conflict over whether Matt could be friends with both anymore, the redhead had concluded.

He seemed to be putting on a brave face, but it was obvious to him and Mello both that Near was disturbed by this ordeal. What was more worrisome was that he himself didn't seem aware of it yet. _He writes it all off as nothing just because he only got a few bruises out of it. Doesn't he realize some injuries aren't physical? And that's true even while assuming he _isn't_ hiding something else that happened to him during the kidnapping like Mell keeps saying._

"What was it that you wanted to ask me?" Near ventured after a long moment, slowly coming over to stand beside the couch. Matt noted in concern that he seemed to be limping with his left leg. _That's right, Doc said his hip was bruised pretty bad..._ He sighed, sticking the cigarette back in his mouth and inhaling a long, hot stream of smoke. Smoking was kind of a nervous tick of his; he didn't do it constantly, but he'd noticed a long time ago that he tended to smoke a lot more when he was stressed out. At least now that he was back at home he _could_ smoke to relief the stress; at the hospital he hadn't even had that.

Mello was shooting Near a skeptical look for pursuing the question when he obviously already knew the answer, but shrugged a little and waved him over. Turning, he slid down the back of the couch and landed with a slight bounce on the cushion nearest to the arm.

He patted the seat beside him, "Come here, Near, sit with us for a bit."

It must have hurt to limp around like that, but Near didn't seem keen on the idea of staying in bed, so the redhead decided not to mention it as the smaller boy slowly made his way around to the front of the couch. Maybe he needed to get back to his normal routine as much as Matt did... _Or maybe he's just trying to pretend nothing happened. That's not good...but when Mell or me asks him if anything's wrong, he says he'll be fine. Maybe L can get him to open up..._

Climbing onto the seat beside Mello, Near sat normally rather than hugging one knee to his chest as was his usual habit. It probably hurt his hip too much to bend like that right now... Even sitting this way, Matt noticed, his white socks didn't reach the floor.

The younger boy started to twirl a lock of his hair again absently, not looking at either of his friends, and as far as his expression was concerned he looked just like he had always looked before any of this had happened.

He looked okay. Okay...except that Matt caught a glimpse of red marks and bruises on his wrist when raising his hand made the sleeve fall to the side. Okay, except that he still looked tired and pale.

He looked okay, except for the fact that he wasn't okay.

* * *

"We weren't gonna ask you anything," Matt answered the question at last, heavily. He sounded upset, as hard as he was trying to hide it, and Near had a feeling that it had to do with him. _Please don't make that kind of face at me—I am all right, why are you acting like I will get upset if you say the wrong word to me?_ Ironically, it seemed more like he had to be careful what _he_ said for fear of upsetting Matt at the moment...

"Yeah, I was just saying you'd rather give L a testimonial about what happened than explain it to some strange police officer in a strange police station," Mello explained, finally playing along and explaining even though he and Near both knew that Near had already known the answer. _As obvious as it is, I still don't feel like admitting to eavesdropping, though...thank you for humoring me, Mello._

He hadn't thought of it until now, but of course he had to describe what had happened—he was the sole witness for most of the crimes that Mikami had committed, and with Mikami himself in a questionable state of sanity, he was probably the only person capable of explaining it, too. And to be given the option to explain it to L instead of the police... _L must have pulled rank on the police who handled this case to be allowed to do that. Of course they will let his "Ryuzaki" persona do whatever he wants, with the name L backing him up. It was kind of L to do this for me..._

"Correct," he murmured, still twirling the same lock of hair he'd been fiddling with since he'd sat down. He wasn't sure what to add; it felt odd to be sitting here at home with Mello and Matt like this. It was an ordinary enough thing to sit with other people, but to be sitting peacefully with Mello in particular...that felt strange. At the hospital Mello had said that they were friends, but he'd half-expected the blonde to stop being so nice as soon as they were back home and trying to get back to their normal routine. Resuming his rivalry with Near _would_ be going back to normal for Mello, wouldn't it?

Another long moment passed; Near was beginning to wonder if it would have been kinder to stay in the bedroom, as his presence seemed to bother Mello and Matt into silence. They were only worried about him, and he knew it, but even that was tiring in and of itself. _I am sick of people being worried about me._ He wasn't used to spending so much time talking to other people, having people sit with and watch and worry over him.

It was kind of overwhelming.

"Matt...and Mello," the white-haired boy ventured, glancing at the two quickly in turn. Mello was staring at his chocolate bar, frowning distantly. Matt was watching Near, and smiled a tiny bit when their eyes met, sending his chair into another spin to break the gaze. _He smiled..._ Near blinked, a bit taken aback. It was a quick, subtle expression, but most definitely intentional. Maybe he was trying to prove that he wasn't as worried as he seemed.

"Yeah?" Mello answered for both of them, glancing at him. His frown had softened, but still lingered.

"Where is L?" Near looked down at his toes again, quieting as he added, "He isn't worried about me, too, is he?"

A crunching sound to his right told him that Mello was back to chomping his chocolate.

"He's in the computer room," Matt answered, apparently pretending he hadn't heard the second question. Near kind of expected that, though—it had been rhetorical, as it seemed that everyone was concerned for him at the moment. _I wish that they would consider this over. We are back at home...it _is_ over, isn't it?_ Well, after he explained things to L it would be over, anyway.

Calmly, he stood.

"Then I will go talk to him so that it's finished," he said, forcing a little smile even though he didn't feel particularly cheerful at the moment. Mello and Matt seemed to be watching him intently for any hint of trauma, so he figured that seeing him smile might help ease their minds a little.

If it did, they both hid it well.

Sighing a little, the white-haired boy slowly made his way across the room and toward the computer room door. His hips were throbbing worse from moving around and placing weight on them again. The left hurt worse than the right, but both were definitely hurting now. He stubbornly ignored the throbs—it was minor pain, relatively speaking. _They are only bruises...I can imagine that Matt's injury is a lot more painful than this, and he is handling it without any outward sign of pain. I can do it, too._

He turned the doorknob, peering inside to the welcome sight of L's messy black hair stroked by the white glow of the monitor in front of him. The lights in the room were out, not a big surprise really, and the monitor cast shadows across everything.

This was the first he'd seen of L since he'd gotten back; he was glad that the great detective wasn't hovering over him or acting much different than usual. At least _somebody_ understood that getting back to living normally was the best thing to do.

* * *

"L." The single syllable was soft, solemn. It said everything that needed to be said for L to know why Near was here. _He's finally awake...it's been almost twelve hours._

"Please come in, Near," the great detective said, not turning away from his monitor or the bowl of marshmallows that sat on the desk in front of it. He plucked one of the soft white candies from the stack, squishing it idly between a finger and thumb as he listened to Near's faint footsteps getting closer and closer. The white-haired boy seated himself on the chair beside L's a moment later, looking at the marshmallow he held a bit dubiously. L observed that he sat with both legs hanging down rather than hugging a knee to his chest as he usually did.

"Hello," the boy said nonchalantly. It wasn't a greeting, 'hi, how are you?' kind of hello; more like an expectant one. _Of course he knows why he's here._ L glanced at him solemnly, figuring he ought to explain anyway for the sake of clarity. Near looked much more awake than he had been back at the hospital; his dark eyes had that sharp intelligence behind them again that exhaustion had dulled before.

"Near, I told the police that I would question you about this incident myself," L explained, knowing full-well that the white-haired boy already knew this. "I assumed that you would prefer to relate the experience to me rather than to a police officer you don't know. If you'd rather tell the police than me, it's your choice, of course..."

Near's dark gaze traveled from the marshmallow to L's own wide-eyed stare.

"I trust you more," he said simply.

* * *

Mello couldn't stand this.

_This is stupid—why won't he just admit that he's not okay?! Nobody goes through all of that crap and then comes home and goes back to normal without looking back!_ He glanced at Matt, who was glumly putting his cigarette out in the ashtray on the desk, and gritted his teeth. _Maybe he'll tell L something he's not telling us. Maybe he's already telling him..._ He hoped so.

The blonde stood abruptly, turning toward the door to L's room. It would only take a minute or two to see if Near's account to L was the same one he'd given them...

"What are you doing?" Matt asked half-heartedly, watching but not following as the blonde started across the room. He'd been pretty depressed since they'd returned home...Mello knew that part of it was thinking of what could have happened to Near during this ordeal. _I guess talking about it for hours hasn't really helped him think about something else...but if Near's lying, we've got to figure it out and make him talk about what really happened. I won't let anybody hurt my friends, even themselves..._ Frowning, the blonde teen snapped a chunk off of the chocolate bar in his left hand and nodded toward the door.

"I'm going to see if he says anything to L that he didn't tell us," he said grimly, stalking over beside the door and pressing an ear to it. As soft murmurs drifted to his ears, a head of red hair leaned right in front of his. Matt pressed his ear to the door as well, an intent look on his face and trouble shining in his eyes. _I knew you were wondering, too,_ Mello thought, smiling faintly. It was just like old times, he and Matt up to something they weren't supposed to be doing. _If L knew why we were eavesdropping, though, this time he'd be okay with it. I'm sure he would._

* * *

"Mello and Matt have already told me the parts of the incident that they witnessed, so I would like you to elaborate mostly on the parts that only you saw." L watched Near intently for any visible reaction, but the white-haired boy only nodded calmly at the request. He looked composed enough...

"All right...what would you like to hear about first?" He asked quietly, not looking up from the desk.

"Just after Matt's shooting," L murmured, stacking another marshmallow onto the growing tower of candy on the desk in front of him. "Matt told me that he saw Mikami leave carrying you, but only you could tell us about anything after that." Near frowned slightly at mention of the nurse's name, he observed. _Hmm. It could be nothing—Mikami can't be a name he's fond of at any rate...but still, it _did_ get a reaction out of him._

While Near slept, Mello had come to him and admitted his concerns that Mikami had abused Near in ways that no one was admitting yet. That was part of why L was watching the white-haired boy's reactions so intently now...but he wasn't sure that Mello's theory was right yet. He needed to see how Near handled talking about this first, and what story he had to fill up the time he was alone with Mikami.

"Mr. Mikami," Near said after a long moment, "Picked me up from the bed and carried me away. I was too shocked by what he had just done to Matt...to even put up a fight." His voice got softer with each word, and in a very subtle way, he sounded ashamed of himself for not struggling. _I doubt struggling would have helped...although screaming would have helped to call attention to them._

"After he carried you out of the hospital, what did he do next?" L prodded calmly, pressing a thumb to his bottom lip and surveying the remaining marshmallows in the bowl as if they were the most important thing in the room. Really, he just didn't want to make Near uncomfortable with his staring.

"He carried me to his car," Near said flatly, "And locked me inside the trunk."

L frowned at this. The thought of someone locking Near in a trunk was bad enough, but the thought of Mikami locking him in one while he was injured and still in shock from, as far as he knew, having witnessed Matt die in front of him...it was enough to make L feel angry. He didn't betray it in his expression, of course, but if he had met Near's eyes the white-haired boy would have known.

_To hear that all of this happened in the short time that I was gone...it makes me wonder if being their guardian means that I have to be near them constantly or fail at my job. It's troubling... If what Mello suspects is true, though, this is nothing compared to what he may tell me soon. I'd best try and stay detached._

He nodded to himself, reaching for another marshmallow.

* * *

"And then?"

_It took an awfully long time for him to continue,_ Near thought, glancing up at his idol curiously. The black-haired man was selecting another marshmallow from the bowl delicately with one finger and thumb, the other thumb pressed to his bottom lip. He looked as calm as ever...

"And then the engine started, and I felt the car begin to move," Near sighed, dismissing the pause. He was still tired; it was probably nothing at all. "It was dark inside...I felt around to try and undo the latch to the trunk, but it wouldn't come undone. I..."

He trailed off, staring down at the table as the memories of cramped quarters and darkness washed over him.

_It was very dark—pitch blackness, in fact. If I was claustrophobic, I would have been terrified. _Now that he was intentionally summoning them back, the memories of being locked inside of the trunk _were_ a little scary. He was sure if he were put back into the same surroundings again he would be scared, or at the least a bit uneasy...but his memories contained no such emotions.

_I was thinking about Matt and about his murderer kidnapping me, so I suppose I was too distracted to be scared..._

"I wasn't really scared," he said, figuring that explaining why wasn't really important—that was what had happened, plain and simple. "I remember that my dinosaur was with me; I was holding him when Mr. Mikami picked me up, and I guess I just held on to him when I was put into the trunk, too..."

"Yes, Mello said that he found the dinosaur when he retrieved you," L said patiently. "So, Mikami drove you somewhere. What happened when you arrived?"

Near opened his mouth to reply, and then closed it again.

What _had_ he done next?

_I...don't remember, do I?_ He realized, stunned. He really didn't—when he tried to think back on that day, one moment he was fumbling with the latch to the trunk, the hardness of the dinosaur pressed sharply into his ribs where he was partially laying on it, and the next...nothing.

A complete blank space.

_What _do_ I remember next?_ He asked himself, shaken. ..._The cot, in the house. I remember waking up...but nothing before that except for the car trunk!_ This was a disturbing realization...how could he have overlooked a gap in his own memory? _I just hadn't thought about it yet, or I would've noticed earlier, _he reasoned, frowning slightly.

"I don't remember what else happened in the car," he admitted uncertainly, "The next thing that I remember...is waking up in Mr. Mikami's home." L glanced up at him, and the white-haired boy met his eyes, staring back as if to prove that he wasn't lying.

Inside, he felt like panicking; if there was one thing that he had always been able to be ultimately confident in, it was his mind's ability to do whatever needed to be done. His mind was reliable, logical, reasonable—so what was this feeling of it blurring things out? It made no sense that he would hide anything from _himself_...

"You lost consciousness while in the car, then," L said, more a conclusion than a question. His wide eyes were so intense that Near had to look away again; he stared at the table as he'd done before.

"I don't think that I did," he confessed, "But I can't remember what happened during the time between the car and the house. There...is just a gap there." It was true—it was more like the missing memories made a big blank space than like time went directly from the car to the house. Something had happened in that time, he knew that it had...but as hard as he tried, he couldn't remember anything about it at all.

L blinked, tucking the marshmallow he was holding into his mouth instead of adding it to the stack.

"Interesting," he said thoughtfully around it. "All right, please explain the next part that you do remember." Near nodded, biting his lip. _I wonder if he thinks I am lying about something. I wonder if he thinks the same thing as Mello and Matt..._

Now, without being able to say with certainty that he was right, he wondered if their suspicious were really wrong...

* * *

Mello caught Matt's eyes with his own, frowning. _He's skipping part of the story—how much more obvious can it get before somebody makes him talk about it?_

Matt seemed to understand, for he nodded once, looking very troubled. Mello couldn't decide whether he was worried about Near as a new friend of his, or angry at him for being stubborn enough to hide things even from L. _Of course, this _is_ L,_ the blonde reminded himself, _He'll see through this kind of lie if anybody will. All we've got to do is wait...right?_

Trying his best to believe it, he stepped away from L's door and made a beeline for the front door instead. _I hate waiting...the best thing is to try not to even think about it._

"Where are you going?" Matt asked, already on his way back to the computer chair. He looked as troubled by what they'd just heard as Mello felt.

"Out," Mello said shortly, snagging his boots from the shoe shelf and shoving his feet into them one after the other. _I've got to get out of here...this place is smothering me._

The house had such a heavy atmosphere since Near and Matt had finally come home from the hospital that it was unbearable. Ignoring Matt's irritated look at his answer that really didn't explain anything, the blonde boy retreated to the garage and opened the door, wheeling his motorcycle outside. He wasn't sure where he planned to go, but he knew one thing—he couldn't stay there.

A few minutes later, even with the roar of the engine and the whoosh of the wind in his hair drowning out the world around him, Mello found that he couldn't keep his mind off of what he'd just heard. There were only a few possible explanations...none of which he liked.

_Near didn't hurt his head; why would he have memory loss? No, it makes a lot more sense that he's just lying. The only problem is, I know Near's way of working well enough to know that he'd never make up such a conspicuous lie! Who the hell would believe him if he said he had a memory gap? It's way more Near-like to make up a fake scenario to fill in the time space...so why? _

In short, Near couldn't really have memory loss, but he couldn't be lying in any Near-like sense...so what was going on? Maybe the pressure of everything had finally gotten to him and he wasn't thinking when he told L the story about memory gaps?

_Dammit, why am I even thinking about this?! L's a genius—if anybody could make this situation work out, it'd be him! Distraction, I need a distraction..._ Maybe a destination was what he needed. He was out of the house anyway... _Chocolate. I haven't been to the store in awhile, so what the hell._

Revving the engine, he took the turn to go to the store, planning on taking his sweet time while he was there. _It's not like there's anything at home that I'm in a rush to get back to._

--End Chapter 26

* * *

AN: Sorry for the weird ending. =/ Mello, ever the scene-hog, kept adding more and more info to the chapter, but I finally distracted him with the prospect of chocolate. LOL; hope you enjoyed this latest chapter of "In Charge", and be advised that the next will be a lot faster in coming than this one was. I'm writing around a full-time college schedule with heavy homework of my worst possible subject (math), though, so please be patient with me. ^^;

Trivia: This chapter's title refers to the missing section of Near's memories—missing pages in the story of the incident, so to speak.

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 26**

Akugi #102

The passing mention of Mikami's name made him tense, like a sudden bad taste in his mouth.

Near: (Wrinkles nose) "Black licorice..."

Mikami: T_T "I'm not apple-flavored?" (Wonders if Kira likes black licorice...hopes he does...)

Akugi #103

Near: "He carried me to his car, and locked me inside the trunk."

L: (Frowns, reaching for marshmallow) "And then?"

Near: "I got to the wiring in his taillights, which are accessible through the trunk, and disabled both brake lights. He was pulled over for not using his blinkers, and that's how the policeman found me in the trunk." (Smirk)

Akugi #104

Mello: _Distraction, I need a distraction..._ (Sees something shiny off to side of road) _Ooh, shinyyyyYYY!!!_ (Crashes into side of a semi since he was, a-hem, DISTRACTED)

Akugi #105

Narrator: Revving the engine, he took the turn to go to the store, planning on taking his sweet time while he was there. Take his SWEET time, buying CHOCOLATE. Get it, get it? Hahahaha...sweet! Chocolate!

Mello: (Twitch) "...If you're THAT bored, make yourself useful and narrate me some REAL chocolate."


	27. Listless

**In Charge**

**Chapter 27 – Listless**

By Threshie

AN: Welcome to chapter 27! Um...I don't have much to say here, except that I lived up to the promise not to make you wait a month and a half for the next chapter this time! XD; Enjoy, LOL.

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata.

* * *

"This ought to be a _damned_ good story." Gevanni's narrowed eyes challenged him to come up with any explanation for a week of radio silence that could possibly be acceptable. Near began to twist a lock of his hair uncomfortably, remembering how Rester's expression had done a 180 from anger to concern when he'd said what he'd called to say.

The anger Near had expected—he'd really dropped the ball, utterly forgetting about both of the cases he was working for the past week. But sympathy was something he didn't know how to deal with; it was strange enough having Mello of all people act concerned for him, but telling Rester had made him become so...well, "fatherly" wasn't a word he would've associated with the big man before, but it applied. It made Near feel strange to know that Rester cared about his well-being beyond a professional relationship; after all, he'd never thought of Rester as anything but another professional that he was working with...

And now, with Gevanni glaring him down like Near had shot him in the arm or something, the white-haired boy had to steel himself before pushing on to the explanation. He took a deep breath. _Just say it and be done._

"It's very simple," he said evenly, "I was hospitalized, and then I was kidnapped from the hospital. That's why I haven't been in contact with you."

Much to Near's relief, Gevanni didn't suddenly look concerned. He did look startled, though; his eyes got wide, and his brows furrowed like he was trying hard not to raise his voice.

"What?!" He hissed, as if someone might be listening in on the conversation.

"I was hospitalized and then kidnapped," Near repeated flatly, looking down at the desk. _Once the surprise wears off, he will probably start behaving like Commander Rester did. Perhaps this is because they think of me as a child, like Matt and Dr. Lidner and those nurses did..._ Did everyone think of him as a child? L and Mello were the only people he could think of who treated him like...and even the latter was slipping up lately. _Seeing me cry probably did it..._ He still wasn't happy about Mello seeing him in such a state at all, but he figured that dwelling on it didn't help anything. His only consolation was that Matt hadn't been there at the same time.

"Sir..." Gevanni's voice interrupted his thoughts. Glancing up, Near confirmed that he looked concerned now. "Wow...I'm sorry. Since you don't usually leave home, I didn't consider something like that happening to you even a _possibility_..." The black-haired man glanced sideways a bit awkwardly, adding, "You okay? You're back in your house to be on the phone, so..."

"I will be fine, yes," the white-haired boy sighed. _At least he is being calmer about it than Commander Rester._ Rester had immediately asked who kidnapped him, why, and how he'd been recovered. Near hadn't felt like explaining it then, and he didn't feel any more like explaining it again now. "Thank you for continuing to work to the best of your ability without me directing you."

"It's my job, sir," Gevanni said somewhat stiffly, understanding the unsaid message: 'Getting back to normal is what I want. Don't make a fuss.' "Speaking of the case--"

"Yes, about that," Near interrupted, "Both cases—yours and Commander Rester's—will be passed on to L. Please inform him of any new developments, and don't bother to explain any of it to me—my opinion about this doesn't matter anymore."

"What?! But, sir," Gevanni stammered, taken aback. "With all due respect, you seem perfectly fine—why aren't you going to finish these cases up yourself?" _You are telling me,_ Near thought glumly. He'd wanted to get right back to work—to get back to normal--but L had insisted that he not work for awhile, saying that he needed to rest and regain his strength before he took on the stress of high-profile murder investigations again. No matter how many times Near tried to reassure everyone that he felt fine, no one, not even L, seemed to believe it.

In the end, he'd decided to respect his mentor and agreed to turning the cases over to him. _I will prove to him that I am well enough to go back to work through my actions...somehow._

"This is L's decision, not mine," he said flatly, "And as my mentor and guardian, L has the final word upon what cases I am working. Therefore, please contact him about the case you are working from now on. He will inform you when I am back to working. Understood?"

Gevanni frowned, nodding.

"Yes, sir."

Again, Near got the impression that he understood what was unspoken—that this wasn't a decision Near agreed with. Gevanni's job involved observing people, but Near didn't like the idea that he was easy to read, even by a professional. _Perhaps I've been spending too much time with Mello lately, to be so obviously read,_ he thought, a bit bemused.

"Thank you. Goodbye for now, Gevanni," he said, closing the video chat connection without waiting for any other response. Glancing around the quiet computer room, the white-haired boy realized abruptly that he had nothing left to do now.

_Nothing except to "rest"..._ He frowned, climbing off of the computer chair. How much rest would it take before L and the others stopped worrying about him?

* * *

Matt rolled over a little, dangling his good arm off the side of the couch. _It's so quiet here..._

Mello had been gone for a good hour by now. Near had finished his discussion about the incident with L twenty minutes ago, and had promptly went into the communications room when he'd left the great detective's office. The house had been entirely still and silent since then; L was still in his office, more likely musing about Near's memory gap than typing up the report he was supposed to give to the police department, and Near was probably making calls to Gevanni and Rester since he'd been out of contact with them for quite awhile.

All of this information drifted through Matt's head, his mind rehashing what he already knew. It didn't matter if he understood what was going on...he was pretty sure that there wasn't anything he could do to help the situation at the moment.

The redhead stared up at the ceiling glumly. _Mell seemed pretty sure that Near was lying about the memory gap thing. But I was listening in, too—Near actually sounded surprised when he said it, like he'd just realized it himself. He doesn't usually sound surprised even when he is, so...to sound surprised, he must have been _really_ surprised. If he really does have a memory gap..._

He bit his lip. Anything could have happened in that space of time, couldn't it? _He said he doesn't remember from the car trunk thing to when he woke up in the apartment. There's no way to be positive of how big the gap is, but if somebody checked the time Near called Mello with Mikami's phone, I'm willing to bet it was hours after he got kidnapped._

It was frustrating trying to recount the incident, as he'd spent half of it either unconscious or relying on Mello and L to keep him from getting hysterical. _Some great detective I'd make,_ he thought glumly, closing his eyes.

Back to more important things.

_I was knocked out for awhile after Mikami shot me—at least half an hour, 'cause that's how long ago Mell said L arrived before I woke up. Then after I woke up, Mello and I sat around in the hospital for awhile longer before Near called Mello's phone. Near said he called pretty much as soon as he woke up and went out into the room, so...he can't remember _any_ of the time before that?! That's practically a day's worth of memories __gone!_

This wasn't good.

Behind him and the couch, there was the soft sound of a door opening and closing. Very light footsteps padding across the carpet told him that it must be Near.

"Matt..." The redhead opened his eyes and saw that he was right; the white-haired boy was leaning over the arm of the couch, appearing upside-down as he looked down at Matt. He looked very tired, and rather put-out, but calm enough. _He's still one of the strongest people I know...if all of this had happened to me, I'd probably be a real mess right now._

"Yeah?" He asked, smiling sheepishly at being caught lying around on the couch; usually he always kept his hands and mind busy, most often with gaming, but right now he just didn't feel like it. No game sounded fun...he knew that he wouldn't be able to become absorbed in it. _Probably I'd just lose 'cause I was distracted...eheh._

"May I...sit with you for awhile?" Near asked quietly. He looked uncertain as he said it, like he wasn't even sure why he was doing so. Matt realized that he probably was feeling the sudden stillness of the household, too, and trying to remedy it by talking. _Well, I'm not gonna be the one to discourage him from actually being social for once...especially since he's been too tired to talk to people much the last few days. I wonder if he wants to talk to me about anything that's bugging him..._

Grabbing the back of the couch with his good arm, he pulled himself into a sitting position, "Anytime." Deciding to take the initiative and get a conversation started, he added, "Did you call Rester and Gevanni in there?" He nodded toward the comm room.

Near climbed onto the couch, letting both legs dangle off of the side, and nodded.

_Getting back to normal, that's good! Probably best for him...but, I wonder why he's not in there working on the cases, then? Missing a week's tough to catch up...maybe it's daunting to look at when you're so tired._ "How are the cases going? I'll bet Gevanni wasn't in the best mood ever," he prodded, trying to lighten the mood.

Near glanced at him without even a hint of a smile in return and said, "He wasn't." He paused, bringing a hand up to twist at a lock of his hair, and looked down at the carpet. "As for the cases...I wouldn't know. L had me pass both of them on to him."

"Huh?" Matt blinked, "Wait...he doesn't think you're ready to work again yet? Now that you're back home, you could work 'em just fine! I mean, it's not your fault you were gone for a week, and L knows that...why would he...?" _That doesn't make sense at all! L must know if Near can't work then he won't have anything to think of except this stupid Mikami incident! Unless..._

He frowned.

Maybe that was the idea.

Maybe L figured if Near didn't have any distracting outside things to worry about, he would think about the incident enough that the memories in the gap would return to him.

_If L even believes the whole memory loss thing. I don't know...if Near was faking us out, L would definitely be able to tell the difference. He's known us all since we were little kids..._ His voice when Matt and Mello had eavesdropped earlier certainly hadn't revealed much about his reaction either way (although it _had_ sounded a bit muffled, probably by something L was eating at the time.)

* * *

"Yes, I gave both cases to L at his request," Near repeated, sighing. _It certainly wasn't my idea._ "He told me that he thinks I need to rest before working on cases again so soon. I tried to explain that I am fine, but he doesn't seem to believe me." He tugged on the piece of hair he'd been twisting, frowning to himself.

"Well...L knows what he's doing," Matt answered, sounding a bit uncertain despite his words. "We've gotta trust him and do what he says."

"I know," Near murmured. _It's true...and I trust that he has a reason for this. However, that doesn't change the fact that now I don't really know what to do with myself. I have nothing to think about. If I had a case, at least I would have problems to solve, details to think about..._ "Matt." He turned to the older boy, who was pushing his goggles up onto his forehead. The motion swept his long bangs into a disheveled shock of red that covered his forehead, but also revealed vivid blue eyes. Near couldn't help but look at such bright points of color; it was odd every time he saw them to reconfirm that Matt's eyes were blue, when usually he didn't associate blue with the redhead at all.

Warm colors, red, yellow, those were the kind of colors that made him think of Matt. _And stripes, of course—he never wears anything except for stripes, does he?_

"Yeah?" The subject of his thoughts asked, draping his good arm across the back of the couch. The other was still in the sling across his chest. _I wonder how his wound is doing...it must be difficult to get dressed without being able to move your arm much._ At the moment Matt had a red and black shirt—striped, of course--on, when last Near had seen him at the hospital he had been shirtless, so the smaller boy concluded that either he had managed to dress himself just fine, or maybe Mello had helped him.

_Look at me, getting lost in completely trivial thoughts._ It was kind of irritating to realize that his mind could become preoccupied something as pointless as how Matt put on his shirt. What point was there in knowing the answer to that, anyway?

"What do you do when you aren't on a case? Besides gaming, I mean," Near said, trying to keep his attention on the conversation. _At least it has some point..._ Distracted as he was, he really didn't mean for the question to come out so plaintively. He really _was_ at a loss for what to do now, though; nobody else seemed able to let go of this Mikami incident and admit that it was finally over except for him.

For that matter, no one else seemed about to accept that he was pretty much back to normal now, and it felt as if the whole household had come to a standstill to wait for a resolution that he knew had already come and gone. _Thus we are waiting for nothing...how long will they wait before L will allow me to go back to my usual routine? I suppose I will have to tolerate it for a few days, at least, until I can prove by my actions that I am not going to have some breakdown._

He didn't blame the others for being concerned—in fact, it was kind of touching that they cared about him enough to _be_ concerned—but except for that troubling memory gap thing and some aches and pains, he didn't feel any differently than he had before all of this had happened. And as for the memory gap, he wasn't sure what to think of it, so--

"Play games, usually."

Matt's answer startled him so much that he jumped a little, yanking on the lock of hair he was still gripping. He'd been so absorbed in his thoughts that he'd forgotten he was talking to the redhead, Near realized sheepishly.

Rubbing the new aching spot on his head, he asked pointedly, "Why aren't you doing that right now? You don't have any cases that you are working on, do you?" _If you were gaming, I could watch the game, perhaps._

* * *

_Good question, I guess..._

"I dunno, I just don't feel like it right now," Matt answered honestly. "...Besides, I couldn't hold the controller with this thing on," he smiled, nodding down at the sling. Near glanced at it, too, but he wasn't smiling.

"I am sorry he shot you, Matt," he said quietly, rubbing his hair with the back of one hand. _I think he yanked on his hair one time too many and gave himself scalp ache,_ Matt thought, amused.

"Eh, don't apologize," he waved his good hand, shrugging a little, "Not your fault, and I _kind_ of provoked him, really..." Recalling the shouting fight he'd gotten into with the nurse, he sweatdropped. _If I knew he had a _gun_ on him I never would've brought Near anywhere near him!_ Thinking about it too much drained all humor out of the situation, though; he decided to focus on the present instead. _This is the first time Near and I have had a chat as friends about something casual and normal, now that I think of it._

"Where is Mello?" Near looked troubled again. "When he leaves for hours, usually he is angry about something; did he manage to get angry since last I saw him?" Matt was a bit surprised at the hesitant tone; glancing at Near out of the corner of his eye, he observed the unhappy tug at the corners of his mouth and realized that there had been an unspoken sentence on the end of the questions: 'Is it me he's angry at?'

He shrugged with his good shoulder, "He went for a ride on his motorcycle. Don't tell him I said this, but...I don't think he knows what to say to you now that you guys are friends." He smiled, but Near didn't seem to be in a very good mood; for the second time, he didn't respond in kind.

Instead, he brought a hand up to his face. Matt figured it was the absent hair-twisting habit that he had—so he was surprised when the white-haired boy instead pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, closing his eyes.

"You okay?" The redhead asked, watching him worriedly. _Does he have a fever? It'd suck to get sick after all of the other crap he's been through, but the antibiotics from the surgery probably _did_ weaken his immune system, so it's not impossible..._

"Yes...I am. Almost..." Near sighed, admitting, "I am still tired, that's all."

Matt bit his lip. _Yeah, that and you have a memory gap. Or at least that's what you told L..._ He didn't think that Near would lie to L; he knew that he wouldn't, himself. If whatever had happened was bad enough, though, perhaps Near wanted to say he forgot it until he really did...perhaps he was trying to convince himself that he really _didn't_ remember. _Or there's the more obvious answer: he really _doesn't_ remember. Only one way to find out...I hope Mell doesn't get mad at me for this..._

"Near, I've gotta tell you something," he began unhappily, looking at the silent tv. The 52-inch flat screen was dark now, no games or cheerful music coming from it to lighten the mood. "I, uh...listened in when you were talking to L."

* * *

Near frowned a bit. _He...did?_

"Really," he said flatly, trying not to sound as surprised as he was. _He and Mello must really believe in their theory to eavesdrop on us and everything. Why are they so certain that I am lying? Am I behaving like I am lying...?_

"Y-yeah," Matt mumbled, looking at the tv uncomfortably. Near glanced at the tv, too. _He would rather watch a blank tv screen than look me in the eye? This can't bode well._

"And why are you admitting it to me?" He asked as nonchalantly as he could, twisting a piece of his hair once again. He glanced at Matt sidelong when he glimpsed the redhead looking his way. He sincerely looked concerned...a bit apprehensive, too. _He is probably afraid that I'll be angry at him for the eavesdropping. I don't really care that much, although it's frustrating that he and Mello don't seem to believe me._

"Near," he said worriedly, "Do you really have a memory gap from during the kidnapping?"

_I see...so that's what this is about, is it?_

"Yes," the white-haired boy replied frankly, frowning. "Is that difficult to believe because you can't find any reason why it would have happened, or because you are set in believing that something happened that I remember perfectly well but don't want to talk about?" The words were rather sharp, but his tone only contained the barest hint of irritation. It wasn't really that he was angry with Matt...he just didn't understand why he and Mello were so set in this idea of theirs. There wasn't even any evidence to support it!

_Do they trust my word so little? I thought that friends trusted each other. I really _don't_ remember what happened during that time..._ He let go of the lock of hair he'd been twisting, bringing that hand up to rub at his forehead; a slight throb was developing there.

"Sorry," Matt practically cringed at his reply; Near decided he'd been anticipating a more Mello-like reaction, because in his opinion he hadn't said anything cringe-worthy. "I wanna believe you—I'm not trying to call you a liar, okay? It's just...I-I'm worried about you. Mello is, too, but he's not gonna admit it again."

"...I really can't remember," Near sighed, looking up at him glumly. "I understand, no one is going to treat me normally again for awhile, but please at least believe me. When I say something to L, I mean it." He had this odd feeling he should be more irritated than he was, but it was too tiring to muster up much of a reaction right now. Besides that, Matt seemed to take it particularly hard if Mello got angry at him; Near suspected the reaction would be the same for him. _He is only telling me this because he is worried about me...I have to remember that._

* * *

"I'm really sorry...y-you're right, you'd never lie to L. I know 'cause I wouldn't either," Matt said quietly, looking at the silent tv again. _That went horribly--way to put my foot in my mouth! But, he sounds like he really can't remember._ _If that's the case, maybe I..._

No. No, that would be a bit _too_ impulsive just yet. He decided to wait and see what Near wanted to do.

He glanced at Near, who looked tired and maybe a little bit sad, and said, "Hey...you don't have to deal with this alone, okay? Me and Mell and L are here for ya." He patted the smaller boy's shoulder lightly with his good hand. _I hope you're not mad that I eavesdropped—I was just worried about you..._

"I expected no less from you and Mello," Near said tiredly, closing his eyes. "And don't deny that Mello was listening, too—I am willing to bet that he is the one who started it." Matt sweatdropped, nodding. _I guess he pays more attention to how Mello acts than he __lets on...eheheh..._

"Let's talk about something else, okay?" He suggested, trying to smile and change the subject. "Wanna try one of my games? I can't hold the controller right now, but I could show you how to play if you want..."

Near glanced at the tv, waiting so quietly, and opened his mouth to reply, but just then there was the slamming of the front door. Both boys glanced at the doorway as Mello came inside, his blonde hair windblown and several plastic shopping bags slung over one shoulder so that they hung down his back.

"Hi, Mell," Matt smiled uneasily, wondering if Near would confront him about the eavesdropping too. "Did you go shopping?" _We didn't really need anything; I wonder what he bought?_

"Just a few things," Mello said, sounding a lot less strained than when he'd left earlier. "And no, cigarettes aren't one of the things I got."

"Aww," Matt feigned a hurt tone at this, relieved to be joking again with anybody. No one had joked much at all this week, and it was good to break the tension in the air.

"I did get this, though..." Mello came over to the couch, swinging the bags forward to rummage in one. After a moment, he fished out something brownish-green and...plastic. _Hey...!_ Matt smiled at the sight—a toy stegosaurus, the plates on its back rounded and its eyes small round dots, as the item that Mello had pulled out of the bag. Unceremoniously, he held the toy out to Near. "Here, it's for you."

* * *

Near blinked, a bit startled to find a toy stegosaurus suddenly dangling in front of his nose.

Slowly, he reached up and gripped it with both hands; peering over the top at Mello, he asked curiously, "Why...?" Mello further surprised him with a playful grin, reaching out and ruffling his hair.

"You know me—I can't let Matt upstage me for long!" Turning on his heel with the bags still in hand, he marched off in the direction of L's office without a backward glance. Near glanced at Matt, who glanced back and smiled, raising an eyebrow.

"Congratulations?" He said dubiously.

Near placed the stegosaurus on his lap, examining it thoughtfully. _This is meant to match the dinosaur that Matt gave to me, I think. I suppose...this makes our friendship official._ He wasn't sure when, but he and Matt and now Mello seemed to equate his first dinosaur toy with friendship...and now there was another dinosaur to befriend the first.

"Thank you," he murmured, smiling faintly in return—a genuine one this time. _That's right—I got so irritated by their worrying that I forgot why they care--they are worried about me because they are my friends._

He hadn't planned on mentioning the memory gap to Mello or Matt, figuring it would only make them more suspicious of his account of the incident, but he realized now that that was the wrong decision. _Hiding things from each other and lying isn't what friends do, is it? I am so new to this..._ Thank goodness Matt had been honest enough to admit to eavesdropping about the memory gap. He'd taken the first step by being honest, and Near resolved to follow suit.

If he was honest with Mello and Matt, he decided, they would be honest with him in return. _I hope._

* * *

The sudden sound of the door opening startled L; he clicked the close button on the video as if he'd been caught watching something naughty.

Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Mello closing the door behind him, a couple of plastic shopping bags clutched in one hand. _I guess he went out for awhile,_ the great detective thought absently; his mind was still analyzing the video he'd just watched, a recording of Mikami that had been taken earlier that evening. In it, quite calmly and in a polite tone, the man had asked to speak with Near.

Repeatedly.

"Hey, I went out and when I saw these I thought of you...hope it's okay." L tried his best not to frown at his thoughts, in case Mello mistook the expression for a rejection of whatever he'd brought, and looked up.

The blonde had a small box in his hand, brightly-colored squares adorning the surface. "_Petite Fours,_" the top read in elegant lettering. Curiously, L looked from it to Mello's face; the teen looked back at him, smiling a bit. _It seems he's trying to lighten the mood of the household...maybe?_

It was certainly an improvement from that morning, when L had had to get Mello's account of what he'd witnessed of the incident. He'd been so angry at some points that he'd spoken through gritted teeth, and had made it clear that he'd never seen Near in a more compromising position in his life. That and Mikami's persistent requests to see the white-haired boy gave L a bad feeling that this incident wasn't over yet...

Accepting the box, he told himself that he'd figure it out—he always did.

"How thoughtful...thank you, I certainly can't complain about something like this," he told Mello, placing the box onto the desk beside him. Sliding the lid off, he pressed a thumb to his bottom lip as he surveyed the tiny frosted cakes inside, adding, "How is everyone doing...? I feel like I've been in here for hours." _I wonder if this has anything to do with Near's memory gap...Mikami asking to see him suddenly..._

"That's because you have," Mello pointed out, coming over and plunking down into the computer chair to the left of L's. "What are you doing, anyway? Don't tell me it took you this long to write out what Near told you in half an hour..."

"Not particularly," L admitted, selecting a mint green cake with a flower sculpted in frosting on the top. "But you didn't answer my question—how is everyone? You seem to be feeling much better, which I'm glad to see."

* * *

"I'm fine," Mello replied, frowning as he remembered their conversation that morning. _I didn't mean to make him worry about me—it's _Near_ he should be worried about. Something's _wrong_, dammit—I can feel it. Can't anybody else feel it? _"...And Matt's keeping Near company; they were talking about something when I got here, and Near looks really tired still."

He sighed, glancing at the floor and tapping the toe of one of his boots on it idly. "L...I know you taught us to base our conclusions on evidence, so this goes against it, but...I've got this really horrible feeling. I feel like something's _wrong_ here...don't you?" He didn't really want to see L's reaction as he said it. _He'll probably tell me it's nothing like Near did...I wonder if he believes Near's story about the "memory gap" from before._

"Yes."

The soft, one-word answer took a moment to sink in. Mello looked up and into wide, dark eyes; L was staring at him intently, an unhappy furrow to his brows. "Yes," he repeated, troubled, "I know what you're talking about...and I have a bad feeling, too."

"Y-you...do?" Mello asked, startled. _L doesn't operate on instinct or gut feelings, though. If he's thinking something's wrong--_ "You've got evidence of some sort, don't you?" He demanded, sitting up in his chair.

"Not enough to even call it that," the great detective sighed, plucking the petals off of the frosting flower on the petite four he had selected earlier, "But enough to make me...concerned...about what occurred during the time that Near was alone with Mikami. Please don't mention this to Near; I'll explain it myself."

Mello sat back, frowning distantly at the door to the living room. On one hand, he was glad that L was listening to his side of the story...but the fact that he was considering it meant that there really was a valid concern. _So it's not just me being "overprotective" or suspicious...dammit. _

He'd really been hoping, more than anything, that L would prove him wrong.

--End Chapter 27

* * *

AN: The title sure applies this time; everybody's tired and listless! I hope this chapter was interesting to read regardless; it was a transition chapter, really, but did have some character development and even a few advances to the plot inside! Next chapter's gonna really rock the boat—watch out, Wammys!

Thanks for reading—see you next chapter! :)

-Threshie

* * *

_**In Charge**_** Akugi! Volume 27**

Akugi #106

Gevanni: "This ought to be a _damned_ good story."

Near: "A-hem: Once upon a time, one of my organs exploded, so Matt took me to the hospital. There I was abducted by my psychotic, homicidal, possessive and possibly-pedophiliac nurse (who happened to be Japanese), and he shot Matt in the process. Mello saved me from the nurse, Matt lived after all, and L arrived at some point, so we all went home, where I called you and hopefully survived through this lecture to live happily ever after..."

Gevanni: (Sarcastic applause) "Okay, SERIOUSLY, you got distracted by playing with Tinkertoys for a week and forgot to call me, right? ...Right?"

Akugi #107

Narrator: His voice when Matt and Mello had eavesdropped earlier certainly hadn't revealed much about his reaction either way (although it _had_ sounded a bit muffled, probably by something L was eating at the time.)

L: (Picks up bowl of marshmallows and pours it into his mouth)

Near: (Dubiously) "Are you even listening to what I am saying...?"

Akugi #108

Matt: "Hi, Mell. Did you go shopping?"

Mello: "Just a few things. And no, cigarettes aren't one of the things I got."

Matt: (Hopefully) "Explosives?"

Akugi #109

Narrator: The sudden sound of the door opening startled L; he clicked the close button on the video as if he'd been caught watching something naughty.

L: _Not true—I was only listening to it while I worked!_ (Hides hentai DVD case as an afterthought)


End file.
